🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Smutley]

Man, you guys, I know you want to talk to him and try to help but it's a lost cause. He's had four years of currently visible online history where people have said the exact same things as you. Multiple people on a dozen different forums all with the same excellent advice that he has blown off and ignored so he could sit in his room and watch movies and brood about how much the world sucks for not praising his brilliance. Talking to Connor is less productive than talking to a fence post because the fence post doesn't sass you back when you tell it a new paint job and a few nails will make it better at it's job. The fence post won't have a hissy fit because you make fun of it's fake girlfriend or the shit it's never accomplished. The fence post won't run away to the hugbox it was originally laughed out of to fish for kind words from people who get "bad vibes" from this forum full of reprobates.

So you signed a power of attorney. Guess what? IT CAN BE REVOKED and you will be in control of your life. You can download the forms off the internet, here, I'll link you to them, they are $20 for a hard copy, $15 for digital. You're seeing a therapist? Your therapist WILL HELP YOU WITH THIS so long as they believe you're actually competent to stand on your own without being ruled by your parents.

But none of this will ever be done because that would actually require initiative, planning, and a little bit of elbow-greased work.

 

[Watcher]

Man, you guys, I know you want to talk to him andtry to help but it's a lost cause. .

I get Connor's a lost cause. It's why I mostly make fun of him in this thread.

However I try and repeat myself constantly to try and get past the autism mental block that he always has a way out. He always has a way to improve his life. If he left this site Alan Pardew would very likely take his blog down a month later, and we'd forget about him.

The fact that he has such an easy way out makes him more pathetic. And it's funnier that way.

Is he likely to change his life? Probably not. If anything Connor is very likely going to be sent to an institution at some point where he'll spend the rest of his life and we'll forget about him. But there is always the hope that he'll try to do something with his life. And I don't want to always be a downer and talk to him like he's a parasite. Because I can relate to Connor's position. The only difference is when I was in Connor's shoes I was more likely to humble myself and realize my viewpoint was incorrect. And that I had to learn how to wake up in the morning and study for tests.

 

[registereduser]

I don't get why he's so reluctant to do anything. It's mystifying.

 

[Smutley]

But there is always the hope, that he'll try to do something with his life. And I don't want to always be a downer and talk to him like he's a parasite. Because I can relate to Connor's position. The only difference is when I was in Connor's shoes I was more likely to humble myself and realize my viewpoint was incorrect. And that I had to learn how to wake up in the morning and study for tests.

You're a better man than I, Cuddlebug. Connor's views on adoption soured nearly all of the sympathy and patience I have for his plight, but deep down I want him to get his shit together. This is one of those scenarios where I want to be proven wrong and in a years time every person in this thread gets to eat crow. I just don't have much hope of it happening.

 

[Watcher]

I don't get why he's so reluctant to do anything. It's mystifying.

He's afraid to try because he's afraid he'll fail. And as a result he'll never succeed

 

[The Knife]

Connor's not Eva. Eva is the weak, beautiful broken bird made vulnerable by her suffering so that she's not likely to make any sudden movements that will scare or threaten him. Connor is Brian, the guy who throws his shirt at the office worker and masturbates while thinking about Eva's emaciated bleeding body because he wants to rescue her so that she'll feel indebted to him ("Oh, Connor," Molly cooed, "thank you for saving me even when I was at my worst, when I was pathetic and disgusting than no one else wanted to touch me." "It's all right, Molly," Connor assured her. "It just took a special kind of man to see you were Beautiful All Along, someone who suffered the same kind of rejection and humiliation...someone like me.").

Klaus, on the other hand...it's really interesting that Connor likes to dress up like Klaus, because Klaus is the perverse genius who's working to make Molly/Eva even more broken (and thus more attractive). He's brilliant and evil and everyone knows he's dangerous but they have to defer to him because he's so much better than they are. They fear him but they secretly want to be like him.

Actually, all of this reminds me of nothing so much as the horrid Smurf Nursery fic.

 

[EI 903]

I do want to stress that I told Connor that I would take back everything negative that I've ever said about him if he made a resume tonight (something that's a single page long and takes a couple of hours at most) and he refused to do it because apparently his "parents would flip."

maan making a resume takes an hour at most. Even a terrible resume is better than nothing

Done. Took like five minutes.

 

[Overcast]

How would they even know he made one? Is he one of those creepy people who tells their parents every single detail of their lives?

Wonder if he told his folks about his masturbating problems.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Connor, for as much as I've A-logged, and to be honest- been a downright antagonistic little shit at you- I'm going to give you a bit of advice, and both extend an olive branch & hope to Eris you heed my words:

1. Give up the internet for a bit. Just use it for basic things like checking your bank balance. Let all this drama pass.
2. Move out. I don't care if you're sleeping on a pal's sofa. Get out into the world away from your parents.
3. Get a physical job. A full time one: Lay bricks, tote sod, do residential demolitions. Not only will this put money in your pocket, but the hard work will both melt pounds off your frame, and both build muscle and self-esteem. If you join a gym, you'll find yourself making all sorts of excuses not to go. Nothing gets you off your ass like the "If I don't show up today, I'm both fired and in about a month, homeless" feeling. Not to mention after a ten-hour day toting concrete, Chat-room drama is the least of your worries.
4. Pay attention to yourself: Brush that hair. Brush those teeth. Wash every day. Don't feel ashamed to indulge in a bubble bath. You'll feel better, and be better equipped to handle whatever may come, both mentally and physically.
5. Don't let you goals out of sight. Yeah, writing may be on the back-burner right now while you're mowing yards and taking classes, but take the time every day to at least THINK about where you want all this to go. Keep a journal. It helps, trust me.
6. I saved the most important for last. Want it. Want it hard. Want it every day. Every day wake up and think on how to improve on your situation. Focus on eliminating the small problems, and as they rectify, the larger picture will both clarify, and be an inch closer to your grasp.

I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to hurt. It's going to suck. But the only alternative is the rather rancid fugue state of repetitive fail you're currently enduring.

Godspeed, and good luck.

 

[Pine Tar]

Connor, for as much as I've A-logged, and to be honest- been a downright antagonistic little shit at you- I'm going to give you a bit of advice, and both extend an olive branch & hope to Eris you heed my words:

1. Give up the internet for a bit. Just use it for basic things like checking your bank balance. Let all this drama pass.
2. Move out. I don't care if you're sleeping on a pal's sofa. Get out into the world away from your parents.
3. Get a physical job. A full time one: Lay bricks, tote sod, do residential demolitions. Not only will this put money in your pocket, but the hard work will both melt pounds off your frame, and both build muscle and self-esteem. If you join a gym, you'll find yourself making all sorts of excuses not to go. Nothing gets you off your ass like the "If I don't show up today, I'm both fired and in about a month, homeless" feeling. Not to mention after a ten-hour day toting concrete, Chat-room drama is the least of your worries.
4. Pay attention to yourself: Brush that hair. Brush those teeth. Wash every day. Don't feel ashamed to indulge in a bubble bath. You'll feel better, and be better equipped to handle whatever may come, both mentally and physically.
5. Don't let you goals out of sight. Yeah, writing may be on the back-burner right now while you're mowing yards and taking classes, but take the time every day to at least THINK about where you want all this to go. Keep a journal. It helps, trust me.
6. I saved the most important for last. Want it. Want it hard. Want it every day. Every day wake up and think on how to improve on your situation. Focus on eliminating the small problems, and as they rectify, the larger picture will both clarify, and be an inch closer to your grasp.

I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to hurt. It's going to suck. But the only alternative is the rather rancid fugue state of repetitive fail you're currently enduring.

Godspeed, and good luck.

Great advice, but I remember something about Connor thinking he's above physical labor. But seriously, if he actually somehow managed to get his shit together, we'd be his biggest cheerleaders. But, I don't think he would. And that's why he's a lolcow.

 

[Dilligaff]

He's afraid to try because he's afraid he'll fail. And as a result he'll never succeed

Afraid to fail, and probably afraid of anything new. Rotting in his room is what he knows and where he's comfortable. It's familiar. It's too bad that he'd rather stick with the miserably familiar than the possibility of getting out and trying. I understand the fear and the desire to stick with the safely familiar but I'd rather give it a shot and fail than stew in my own misery.

I'm really impressed with how patient you guys have been with him. I've been peeking in on the thread and it makes me want to go bash my head against a wall.

 

[Watcher]

I'm really impressed with how patient you guys have been with him. I've been peeking in on the thread and it makes me want to go bash my head against a wall.

Making fun of him, and doing stuff like rewriting his self insert fiction to feature him as the protagonist instead helps.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Actually, all of this reminds me of nothing so much as the horrid Smurf Nursery fic.

So I wasn't the only one...

 

[Cosmos]

You know, Redesigning Eva isn't a terrible idea in and of itself. I can actually see it being a YA novel (because I think that kind of premise is perfect for a teen sci-fi novel, not a book aimed at adults). Hell, if you focus on a romance subplot, you're almost guaranteed to have a fanbase because teenage girls eat that shit up with a silver spoon. However, it needs heavy editing and rewriting. For example, literally all of the characters are in dire of being fleshed out because right now they're not even cardboard cutouts, they're paper cutouts.

 

[EI 903]

You know, Redesigning Eva isn't a terrible idea in and of itself. I can actually see it being a YA novel (because I think that kind of premise is perfect for a teen sci-fi novel, not a book aimed at adults). Hell, if you focus on a romance subplot, you're almost guaranteed to have a fanbase because teenage girls eat that shit up with a silver spoon. However, it needs heavy editing and rewriting. For example, literally all of the characters are in dire of being fleshed out because right now they're not even cardboard cutouts, they're paper cutouts.

They are paper cutouts of other people's characters. It's unpublishable because it is pretty much fanfiction.

 

[Cosmos]

They are paper cutouts of other people's characters. It's unpublishable because it is pretty much fanfiction.

50 Shades of Grey has made millions and millions of dollars despite being Twilight with the serial numbers filed off. I'm not saying that Redesigning Eva is a masterpiece or even that it's entirely salvageable (because honestly, I think it would need an entirely different author), but unfortunately, publishing fanfiction seems to be becoming more and more normal.

 

[Hat]

Also Eva's dad says something very Holden-esq by telling Eva her cunt stinks as she gets out of the car at her high school.

Sex-swapped self-insert confirmed.

 

[Artard]

50 Shades of Grey has made millions and millions of dollars despite being Twilight with the serial numbers filed off. I'm not saying that Redesigning Eva is a masterpiece or even that it's entirely salvageable (because honestly, I think it would need an entirely different author), but unfortunately, publishing fanfiction seems to be becoming more and more normal.

What you're saying isn't wrong, but it's sort of like crazy inventors who believe that because the Pet Rock made a million dollars, any stupid idea could make a million dollars. It could, it has a chance, but far less of a chance than a product that actually provides a useful service at an affordable price.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

 

[sparklemilhouse]

How would they even know he made one? Is he one of those creepy people who tells their parents every single detail of their lives?

Maybe the computer is in the living room like he's a 12 year old.