🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
I still stand by my last piece of advice for him to set his computer on fire and join the Amish. They may be able to instill better work ethic in him, he'd have great material for writing, and Molly Ringwald would sleep better at night.
 
Man what has got Connor so grumpy?
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"New Age horse jizz" isn't a terrible turn of phrase. Expand it to book length and we'll be all set.
I still stand by my last piece of advice for him to set his computer on fire and join the Amish.
Like Connor could grow a beard.
 
"New Age horse jizz" isn't a terrible turn of phrase. Expand it to book length and we'll be all set.

Like Connor could grow a beard.

Beards are almost universally reserved for married men among the Amish (in lieu of wedding rings). Not even some poor sheltered Amish girl is having that shit.
 
I still stand by my last piece of advice for him to set his computer on fire and join the Amish. They may be able to instill better work ethic in him, he'd have great material for writing, and Molly Ringwald would sleep better at night.
Not gonna lie, imagining Connor in a little Amish outfit is downright adorable. I'd love to hear how Connor would act there.

"So I've really started cracking down on my butter churning this week, I've already made enough to cover half a potato. By the by, got any red yarn? I need some to finish my Molly Ringwald effigy."
 
I think the only reason Molly (or more likely her assistant) hasn't blocked Connor is that they're worried it'll trigger him and he'll actually get violent.
It's a reasonable assumption about delusional celebrity stalkers, but they don't know how lazy Connor really is.
 
So what is the other forum he posts on, other than WrongPlanet and here? Also, does the WrongPlanet forum keep Connor unbanned for reasons similar to ours, or has he legitimately not broken a rule on there?
 
So what is the other forum he posts on, other than WrongPlanet and here? Also, does the WrongPlanet forum keep Connor unbanned for reasons similar to ours, or has he legitimately not broken a rule on there?
There's a Stephen King forum. He also used to post on a Godzilla forum.

I think WP doesn't ban him because they're a bit of a hugbox.
 
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Connor is whoring off Molly's book to anyone who looks at his profile. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
 
According to Connor lore, when he tried to kill himself the first time he spent a couple days in a psyche ward because his awful parents hated him or something. While in there, he caught The Stand miniseries on TV and instantly fell in love with Molly after seeing her in it.

It took him years after that point to actually see any of her other movies, and a year or two after that to ever finish them.

Stephen King forum has been down for 2 weeks to give the mods a break, and with no where else to have people pay attention to him Connor has returned to Wrong Planet :)

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What the fuck, dude
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Man what has got Connor so grumpy?
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:roll:
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:story:
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Oh, Connor
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Maybe if Kiwi Farms shut down for two weeks to give our mods a break, they wouldn't have to drink so much.

I love how Connor skipped straight to suicide-baiting mode. & openly being beligerent to his fellow autists. & giving advice he will never follow. Just beautiful.

Oh man, those were the days. A simpler time. Curious though, what makes it persistent?

OFF TOPIC
I'm back, by the way. Been off the Farms a while.
Welcome back, buddy! I missed you!

Man, we gotta start "Connor Plays Pokémon" back up again. Or "Connor Plays Pokémon Go."
 
Connor Plays Pokémon Go

"You expect me to walk to catch all those Pokemon? Is that what you want?? For me to take steroids and lift weights to appeal to some fictional idea of man before I beat my wife and sell our kids into adoption like the scumbag meathead you want me to be?"
 
Betting the salt comes from Connor's designated girlfriend Destinay refusing to communicate with him since @Fallensaint gave her some quality reading material.
 
Stephen King Forums is back up so Connor has run over there since the autists at Wrong Planet are unable to coddle him.

In a thread for "latest movie you watched"... have you notice Connor always does this? He throws up some bad action movie bullshit and than immediately follows it with something that's artsy, daring, and generally something he would never watch but still wants to act like he's brilliant and sophisticated.
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lol gross
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GROSS
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wow Connor is getting up early these days. Do you think it's because Grandma makes him toil outside carrying groceries like a slave?
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So it turns out Connor isn't just a Molly fanboy, he's a desperate starfucker looking for attention from any celebrity regardless of list status
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I'm really glad that Connor is around to give Molly "da updates" concerning world events. Apologies if a couple of these might be repeats because he does this nonstop, forever.
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I'm sure these groups have done wonders for his craft
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SKREEEEEEONNNNKKKKK
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MOLLY I AM READING BOOKS NOW JUST LIKE I IMAGINE YOU DO MOLLY DO YOU LIKE THAT BOOK TELL ME ABOUT BOOKS
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Look who's talking about pathetic.
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Birds fly, grass grows, fish swim, and brother, Connor will always sperg about adoption
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omfg
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