🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
I guess he won't get any writing done today. He wasted enough words in his rant to Molly Ringwald that could have gone towards a chapter or two of Redesigning Eva or OmegaBoy.
 
Taily Puff said:
Connor sucks because nothing he does actually matters, but he keeps billing himself as an 'aspiring novelist' and playing up his tortured artist bullshit. He's probably the least tortured artist in the history of makin' stuff, but he has to talk nonstop about his craft and how much of a struggle it is. He could write ten words a day, by hand, and still leave behind a full length book after he dies. Instead he writes 500 words about how hard writing is, despite having nothing else to do with his time. In fact, having a part time job would probably make him a better writer, because he'd least have some passion about what he spent his free time doing.
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The dumb irony of him and his writing is that if he spent a fraction of the words he wastes on convincing people he is an "aspiring writer", he'd actually have made some progress on his work.
 
I really enjoy these daily updates connor has been giving us. They're very informative! Not posting really is efficient when you've done nothing noteworthy!
 
Meowthkip said:
I've only ever seen it spelled "jury." The Wikipedia article does mention the term "jerry built" though.

I saw so many people quoting "jerry rigged" in quotes.
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I've only heard people say "nigger rigged." Jury/Jerry rigged sounds kind of awkward. Could be a regional thing.
 
@Connor Bible you're an even worse Republican than Jon "The Iconoclast" Sweet. At least he finished college in a reasonable amount of time.
Does your "girlfriend" approve of you continuing to cyberstalk your celebrity crush who's old enough to be your mother?
 
If Connor keeps this up Molly might put a sentence or two in her auto-biography about a creepy fat fuck who messaged her nearly non-stop for years on end and how she had to get a restraining order against him to make it stop.
 
:story::story::story::story:
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:story::story::story::story:
 
Connor, don't you know to be a teacher you have to be likeable? Nobody will learn from you if you remain the unlikeable, vile slob you currently are.
 
If this relationship is in fact imaginary (which, of course, it is), I think Connor might be approaching Quasimodo-level loveshy.

  • Fell in "love" (read: learned what a penis does) with some chick he watched from the top of a cathedral
  • Got all depressed when she went for Chad Phoebus instead of a grotesque mostly-deaf hunchback
  • Crawled into said chick's grave when she was killed and starved to death embracing her corpse

  • Develops obsession with women he has never nor will ever meet (Mollay, Destinee)
  • Gets frustrated when Mollay's KF account turns out to be a ruse. Gets further frustrated when Molly does things he doesn't like on Facebook.
  • Neither woman is dead yet but I don't doubt Connor has a contingency plan.
 
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