🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Cosmos]

(FYI, I know Connor won't listen to me, but I'll say this for the benefit of people who haven't done serious writing)

That's fine. It's actually the goal. No one, not even the most prestigious publisher, expects a draft of a novel to be "pretty, quality-wise". The only important thing is that it's DONE. When it's done, you can go back and edit, and the editing stage takes far, far longer than the initial writing (which means you're fucked, Connor). If you take writing courses or seminars, or get coached, or IN ANY WAY try to have some formal training at this, literally every teacher out there will tell you to just write the draft and worry about making it good later. None of them, like fucking NONE of them, will tell you to slow down and worry about making it "pretty, quality-wise" during the first draft. Or even the second.

I know this has been explained to Connor before, but it bears repeating, for the benefit of people who don't go through this on a regular basis. They need to understand that Connor's method is the literal opposite of every writing professional of any kind, ever.

(Again, just throwing out general writing advice)

This is honestly one of the most important aspects of writing. You should never try to write a perfect first draft. It will take you forever, if you actually finish it. When I was in grade school, we called first drafts "sloppy copies." We would bring in our sloppy copies to class and then edit each other's papers, after which we'd write the final draft. The meaning of "sloppy copy" is pretty clear; no one is expecting a perfect first draft.

I have been writing just a little bit the past few days, but I can't bring myself to sit in that chair for 2-4 hours, let alone one. I have a crippling fear of failure and imperfection.

YOUR FIRST DRAFT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF IMPERFECTIONS. I don't think a perfect first draft has ever been produced by any human being ever. If the writers you adore so much can accept writing a first draft that's full of imperfections, why can't you?

 

[HG 400]

@Smutley , you asked about my correspondences with Vordrak, well here I am. I didn't save the e-mails, but I do remember them. I posted on his blog because I've been losing my mind. I don't know who to trust on the Internet anymore. Just a few days ago, I blocked two people (total strangers, I might add) who were following me on Facebook.

I was desperate, and clearly not thinking straight. With his slick writing style, he played me for a fool. All he talked about in the e-mail conversation was about how I could serve his interests, further his goals. He never once wanted to engage in a discussion about my feelings on this site; he simply wanted to recruit another mook. I apologize for not posting caps, but that's exactly how I remember them, honest to God. If he really did call in a fake school shooting threat, that's despicable and craven, even from someone involved in politics, if I read correctly.

Fuck off traitor we will never forgive you for this, ever.

 

[HG 400]

(Again, just throwing out general writing advice)

This is honestly one of the most important aspects of writing. You should never try to write a perfect first draft. It will take you forever, if you actually finish it. When I was in grade school, we called first drafts "sloppy copies." We would bring in our sloppy copies to class and then edit each other's papers, after which we'd write the final draft. The meaning of "sloppy copy" is pretty clear; no one is expecting a perfect first draft.



YOUR FIRST DRAFT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF IMPERFECTIONS. I don't think a perfect first draft has ever been produced by any human being ever. If the writers you adore so much can accept writing a first draft that's full of imperfections, why can't you?

Stop giving writing advice to traitors or I will begin to suspect that you might be a traitor too.

 

[Connor Bible]

(Again, just throwing out general writing advice)

This is honestly one of the most important aspects of writing. You should never try to write a perfect first draft. It will take you forever, if you actually finish it. When I was in grade school, we called first drafts "sloppy copies." We would bring in our sloppy copies to class and then edit each other's papers, after which we'd write the final draft. The meaning of "sloppy copy" is pretty clear; no one is expecting a perfect first draft.



YOUR FIRST DRAFT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF IMPERFECTIONS. I don't think a perfect first draft has ever been produced by any human being ever. If the writers you adore so much can accept writing a first draft that's full of imperfections, why can't you?

There's got to be some underlying psychological cause of this hindrance. The sooner I discover the root of the problem, the better.

 

[chimpburgers]

There's got to be some underlying psychological cause of this hindrance. The sooner I discover the root of the problem, the better.

You'll never get free advice from me anymore. If you want that, pay me $50 per message.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

@Smutley , you asked about my correspondences with Vordrak, well here I am. I didn't save the e-mails, but I do remember them. I posted on his blog because I've been losing my mind. I don't know who to trust on the Internet anymore. Just a few days ago, I blocked two people (total strangers, I might add) who were following me on Facebook.

I was desperate, and clearly not thinking straight. With his slick writing style, he played me for a fool. All he talked about in the e-mail conversation was about how I could serve his interests, further his goals. He never once wanted to engage in a discussion about my feelings on this site; he simply wanted to recruit another mook. I apologize for not posting caps, but that's exactly how I remember them, honest to God. If he really did call in a fake school shooting threat, that's despicable and craven, even from someone involved in politics, if I read correctly.

To @Handsome Pete and @Cosmos : I have an unfortunate tendency of not organizing my thoughts and expressing them in an eloquent way, both in fiction and in the world of the Internet. I place a lot of pressure on myself to get things done, and while that may be good in theory, in practice it's driving me insane. I put too much on my plate, and I set unreasonable deadlines and standards. It would be good if I churned out a draft of a novel within a month's time, but the end result wouldn't be pretty, quality-wise, especially without an outline.

Get a Kettlebell and all your questions will be answered!

 

[Randy Lahey]

There's got to be some underlying psychological cause of this hindrance. The sooner I discover the root of the problem, the better.

you're fucked in the head that's the damn problem

 

[autism420]

There's got to be some underlying psychological cause of this hindrance. The sooner I discover the root of the problem, the better.

It's called autism and the only cure is the sweet embrace of death.

 

[Strelok]

Stop giving writing advice to traitors or I will begin to suspect that you might be a traitor too.

Are we forming a Committee on Un-Kiwi Activities? If so I want to be chairman Dies.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

This is honestly one of the most important aspects of writing. You should never try to write a perfect first draft. It will take you forever, if you actually finish it. When I was in grade school, we called first drafts "sloppy copies." We would bring in our sloppy copies to class and then edit each other's papers, after which we'd write the final draft. The meaning of "sloppy copy" is pretty clear; no one is expecting a perfect first draft.

Not only that, but you often don't truly understand what makes your story or article "work" until you're almost done with it, at which point you'll want to make major changes to the beginning to keep continuity. This is impossible to do on-the-fly, you need to step back when you're done and re-think everything. Why spend so much effort tinkering with an early draft of a story when you're likely to throw out entire parts of it later?

There's got to be some underlying psychological cause of this hindrance. The sooner I discover the root of the problem, the better.

Yeah, you're lazy and people let you get away with it.

 

[HG 400]

We should throw Connor's fat ass off the Tarpian Rock.

 

[Connor Bible]

Not only that, but you often don't truly understand what makes your story or article "work" until you're almost done with it, at which point you'll want to make major changes to the beginning to keep continuity. This is impossible to do on-the-fly, you need to step back when you're done and re-think everything. Why spend so much effort tinkering with an early draft of a story when you're likely to throw out entire parts of it later?



Yeah, you're lazy and people let you get away with it.

Yeah, I'm fucking lazy. It comes with the depression. You can't just pull yourself by the bootstraps and put on a smile that easily.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Connor, I have been trying to stay on the nuetral next to good side for you. I keep trying and trying to give you sound, simple advice but you keep ignoring it, and doing activities that make the other Kiwis angry at your for being a Benedict Arnold.

You were not thinking straight? You are afraid of your supposed passion? Fuck kid you are such a worthless waste!

 

[HG 400]

Yeah, I'm fucking lazy. It comes with the depression. You can't just pull yourself by the bootstraps and put on a smile that easily.

Nobody has any sympathy for you, you worthless fat traitor. You betrayed @Null and you will never, ever be forgiven or accepted back as one of us. You are anathema to the Kiwi Farms and will be held in nothing but contempt and disgust from this day until the day you pass out of living memory.

 

[autism420]

Yeah, I'm fucking lazy. It comes with the depression. You can't just pull yourself by the bootstraps and put on a smile that easily.

Why are you depressed? You have a loving family who let you take one class at a time and not have a job. Do you know how badly some of us would want to trade places with you? You don't realize how good you have it. You aren't fucking depressed, you're content with being lazy and putting no effort in to anything.

Do you want to stick your dick in a vagina some day Connor? Then stop being a faggot.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Yeah, I'm fucking lazy. It comes with the depression. You can't just pull yourself by the bootstraps and put on a smile that easily.

Well, you said you wanted to know what your fucking problem is... but it sounds like you already know. And were just making excuses... AGAIN. You know you're depressed, you know you're lazy. Stop blabbering about it and seek help (hint: "help" will probably involve a therapist telling you to do something with your life, because no therapist is going to recommend a regimen of laying around all day and masturbating)

 

[Smutley]

I have been writing just a little bit the past few days, but I can't bring myself to sit in that chair for 2-4 hours, let alone one. I have a crippling fear of failure and imperfection.

I'm fine, @BOLDYSPICY!

I hate the fact that I can barely get any writing done. I've said it before: I'm a rabid perfectionist. Even I'm writing for myself, even if I have no intention of showing it to anyone else, I'm crippled by the fear that I will hate it.

I wish I can simply get the story on the page and out of my head without worrying about perfection, originality, accuracy, and so on.

Fiction's a different beast than academic writing. You know I'm a monstrous perfectionist.

So... you're expecting me to go out into the world and just do stuff without worrying about success or failure?

I'm telling you, there's no fucking point in trying when failure is inevitable!

Like Hellblazer said, I'm obligated to respond to every post on here, and if I can't bring myself to take some sort of action, I find myself trapped mentally. I'm afraid of failure, to the point that I break down if I so much as make a typo or create a plot hole in whatever I'm writing.

I'm afraid, to be honest. I'm afraid I wouldn't like what I produce, and that wouldn't enjoy the process. I wish I could "write what I know", but even then, the fear of failure and my self-defeating tendencies get in the way.

I've come to the conclusion that yes, my fear of success/failure (take your pick) is crippling any chance I have of becoming a fiction writer.

It's because I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of facing the imperfection of the world around me and other people.

Connor. Please come up with newer, better excuses.

And post the screen caps of your emails, your word alone isn't worth all that much 'round these parts these days.

 

[wet_butt]

Lol at Connor being afraid of failure when he's the biggest failure around

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Bruh if you're depressed, that's what therapists and antidepressants are for. Go see one and, even if it's difficult do what he says. Of course, this assumes you're serious about getting better and you've never been serious about anything in your life except crying and jerking off while you cry.

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." ~Churchill

Also, if you're not willing to treat writing as a serious and disciplined method it actually is?
Y'aint a writer kid.
Never will be.

Some of the best writers in the world were depressives or otherwise mentally unstable, Wylde, Poe, Lovecraft, Hemmingway.

You sitting and whining means you will never even hope to lick their shit-laden soles.