🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
BOLDYSPICY! said:
But did he ever pass math?
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He had to help take grandma shopping, and that took so much energy out of him he only had enough strength to fap a few times before passing out and dreaming about being a famous author. And then woke up and fapped until he fell back asleep again.
 
As I was binging this thread, Connor reminded me of a certain someone: Norman Boutin. They're both narcissistic, terrible at writing, and incapable of handling criticism. The biggest difference is that Norman finished and published his novel.
 
Alright, I don't want to share too much so please use this information properly. But I promise this is true.
Someone I know who used to talk to Connor on a somewhat regular basis has been being messaged by Connor for almost a fucking year. The last thing he told the guy was to please stop messaging him and that he didn't want to associate with him.
Unfortunately he's being a faggot and will not screencap them for me to post but it is some mental shit.
Connor has been essentially having a 100+ message conversation with a brick wall for a year now.
I think the funniest thing about it is that one of the messages (again, with someone who has not responded in several months) is Connor bringing up Julia Roberts and saying a fault in her character is that she parked in a handicapped zone once.:story:

I wish I was joking about this shit.
 
The weird thing about Connor is that I don't think he's any different from the majority of kids right now (using the words kids liberally as he's in his mid 20s'), just moreso.
The overwhelming majority of people Connors age:

like the idea of being something more than doing something
have no desire to change or grow up
are taken care of by their parents but aren't taught or helped by them in any meaningful way
push their baggage on others, especially people in politics, instead of showing remorse for the shitty things they've done
label themselves by their mental disorders while being surprised it hasn't worked for them

I'll be honest. I'm surprised Connor isn't more successful. He could work as a journalist or make a blog. His life philosophy is very "in" right now.
Where I can't forgive Connor or anyone like him is he has something most would kill for: time.

I don't give a shit that Connor doesn't have a job or is going to school. I think most people wouldn't if they didn't have to. I hate that Connor has had well over a decade to do ANYTHING.
Even if it was something people didn't like or get. If Connor had finished his two pet projects by now, or made a youtube channel, or gone to the gym, or fuck started a goddamn pet rock collection, I'd respect him a lot.
But that's the catch 22 of people who never have to grow up. Government dependents and parent-raised kids have the absolute freedom that is not applicable to the rest of shackled society, but because they have that freedom they do nothing with it. If Connor had to by law work a part-time job or work community service for 2 years, he would infinitely appreciate the time and ability to do something that was personal. But since he never has and never will he and everyone like him (which is more than some people want to think) will stay stuck in a personal hell that they don't even see as that bad.
I think that's people like me and a lot of others have to remind ourselves. We might hate our jobs and our lives and despise the types like Connor, but at the end of the day we're able to realize we only have so much time in a day and our lives to enjoy it and or/improve it. And that in itself is much more of a privilege than having 24 hours to message ex-friends and masturbate to Pretty in Pink.
 
(((I am NOT a jew))) said:
I think the funniest thing about it is that one of the messages (again, with someone who has not responded in several months) is Connor bringing up Julia Roberts and saying a fault in her character is that she parked in a handicapped zone once.:story:
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Ha! His random hatred of Julia Roberts is amusing af.
Sloppy Party Bottom said:
Does he have anything published? Or does he just fap to the idea of publishing?
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He doesn't even write anything to publish. He faps to the idea of writing and then jumping ahead to the part where his hypothetical works are adapted into blockbuster movies and he's a superstar.
 
beautiful person said:
He doesn't even write anything to publish. He faps to the idea of writing and then jumping ahead to the part where his hypothetical works are adapted into blockbuster movies and he's a superstar.
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I know the arts are the best insurance policy for the socially retarded and in a way I can relate to wanting to justify your life with your work. But the joke is you actually have to enjoy writing knowing you might not make much off of it or be known for it for a while. It's a very isolating way to spend your time but I think the thing is most writers didn't give a shit about that.
I know some assholes might say they did it for money and it didn't take up their entire time. But I still think you have to have a degree of humility to write almost everyday considering you can make better money or social connections doing anything else.
Connor doesn't have to worry about making a living though or socializing though so he should be fine. He just doesn't want to write. Not many people do.
I think people like Connor and most writers nowadays suffer from the fact they want to make shit they know nothing about.
Alphaboy could be an amazing story about an aspie who is legitimately a kind person but nobody wants to be around because his only worth to them is that one thing he can do really well, which could be used as an analogy for autism. Or make a story where he thinks being a superhero is the greatest thing ever but he's not able to do it consistently because it doesn't have short term fulfillment and rewards and takes dedication to others. But that would take Connor being seriously introspective and talking openly about a subject that's difficult for him. And that's something most people don't want to do anymore.
Sorry for the rant. I just find people like Connor interesting in that I see small parallels and similarities between me and him that could have hurt me significantly if I didn't touch grass nearly as much as I had to growing up. I like Godzilla and shit but I'm not... that. So it's like seeing a villain that's almost irredeemable but you can see where you could have ended up like them.
 
And now he's messaging the dude again about the fact I posted this on here. Further proof that Connor reads his KiwiFarms daily.
Connor, I know you're reading this. So take notes:
Start doing literally anything else with your life. You're in your mid twenties and haven't experienced anything. You have no desire to move forward or advance. That's not living. If reading your own KiwiFarms thread is the highpoint of your day, you need to start making better ones.
I'm not saying go out and cure cancer or write a literary masterpiece. But just something small that will actually make you a slightly better person. Exercise, reading, starting a hobby that in ten years could be impressive.
Anything other than getting yourself banned from Twitter, messaging people who won't message you back and lurking your own thread. That's some clown shit.
I'm not saying this because I'm a philistine who thinks so lowly of you but because I've had similar traits to you in the past. Dude, I like Godzilla and Evangelion and autistic shit that people think is lame. I enjoy writing. I'm a bit weird.
You CAN become a better person. You CAN do things in life that will make you grow. You CAN accomplish impressive shit, even if it's small.
I don't think you're going to because there's nothing and no one in your personal life pushing you to do so. But you can do it if you decide to.
I work for a living, I've gotten laid, I've accomplished a bit. Not a lot, but more than most people (and myself) would think I could given the circumstances.
You can too. You just need to stop being such a faggot.
 
As much as it might seem like we all hate you if nobody else tells you this this year.
Merry Christmas, Connor.
I'll laugh at the dumb shit you do but with a new year brings new chances to do things differently. I think if you want to, you can change your life around a little. But you have to want to. I think all of us want you to prove us wrong. I'm not saying you're going to be the next great novelist or cure autism.
But I legitimately hope, and I say this without cynicism or mockery, that the new year is good for you and you're able to do some new things in life. Like I said earlier, you can achieve some happiness and acceptance if you're willing to work hard for it.
 
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