🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
This reminds me of back in high school when my friends and I used to jokingly tease our friend Reef and give him all this crap, who was totally cool with it because he knew we didn't mean it. Except one kid in our group. He didn't understand the teasing was a joke so he assumed we all hated the guy. He would shout all these mean spirited insults at Reef, who would just laugh because that spergy kid was a fucking idiot. Then everybody would laugh at Sperg because, well, he was a fucking idiot.
So Null is Reef, and we give him shit out of love or whatever Connor is the sperg who doesn't get the joke and is trying too hard to fit in.
Don't guys socialize by throwing meaningless insults at each other anyway? Dudes who are friends take the piss out of each other all the time it's a totally normal thing
 
Don't guys socialize by throwing meaningless insults at each other anyway? Dudes who are friends take the piss out of each other all the time it's a totally normal thing
I generally find that a lot of friendships are made up of innocent ribbing regardless of gender. Being a friend with someone usually means you know how to push their buttons and also where their limits are.

Connor, lacking friends, means that he just hurls the most generic insults possible and he's easily capable of actually pissing people off because he doesn't know where to stop.
 
In case you'd like something that's easier to skim, here's the version with just his lines.

A moment ago Connor Bible:
Null likes being fisted up his hairy ass.
A moment ago Connor Bible:
@ @Null, your duck is tiny
A moment ago Connor Bible:
Null would like for Dynastia to fuck him up the ass, and to fuck Pikonic up the ass as he jerks himself off using peanut butter as a lubricant and jizzes on a Corgi who runs away in fright and.
A moment ago Connor Bible:
And the Corgi happens to be in heat, so she lets herself get fucked by a Bull Mastiff.
Connor Bible:
@ @Dynastia, go fuck yourself in the ass with a dildo
Connor Bible:
@ @Dynastia, your a figget
Connor Bible:
a figget
A moment ago Connor Bible:
@ @Dynastia, figget
A moment ago Connor Bible:
lol shitfuckers
Connor Bible:
@ @Pikonic, @ @Alan Pardew, would like one chopstick up your assholes, or two chopstick up your assholes?
A moment ago Connor Bible:
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
A moment ago Connor Bible:
LET'S FUCK! I'LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!
A moment ago Connor Bible:
YOU FUCKER'S FUCKER! YOU FUCKER!
Connor Bible:
DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!

I laughed so hard at this I think I peed a little.

Thank you, Connor, for making the first few minutes of 2016 full of laughter for me.
 
I made artwork. Slightly late, but my laptop had no internet access.
All credit to whomever I've plagiarised the images from.

itstrue.png
 
each paragraph = new conversation

Connor Bible:
I had Human Growth and Development today.
Connor Bible:
Tomorrow, I have World Literature.
TheAmazingAxolotl:
@ @Connor Bible, What reading did you have to do before the semester started?
Connor Bible:
@ @TheAmazingAxolotl, I didn't have to do any reading.
Connor Bible:
As for my writing, I'm on the third chapter of Alphaboy, and I've started some short stories.

Connor Bible:
BTW, the thread I just made isn't about me.
Hyperion:
@ @Connor Bible, :story:
Connor Bible:
@ @Hyperion, mature.
Connor Bible:
I just thought it would be a fun challenge for the Kiwis.

Connor Bible:
Fuck, why are you guys attacking me in the thread?
Connor Bible:
This wasn't the point of the thread's creation.
Connor Bible:
I thought it would a fun exercise for Kiwis to come up with original horror stories in two sentences.
Connor Bible:
The thread isn't about me.

wagglyplacebo:
@ @Connor Bible, you have to realise that because you are a lolcow people will make anything you post in about you
Connor Bible:
@ @wagglyplacebo, I'm not going to be a lolcow forever.
Connor Bible:
Besides, I'm not even doing anything lolcow worthy.
18 minutes agoConnor Bible:
People on this site have told me to kill myself, that I won't amount to anything, etc.
Philosophy Zombie:
@ @Connor Bible, lol saying you're not a lolcow is the kind of behavior people find funny
Philosophy Zombie:
normal people don't say they're normal, it's self-evident. Show with your behavior
Connor Bible:
@ @Philosophy Zombie, how do I show normal behavior from behind a keyboard?

this is the thread he's talking about https://kiwifarms.net/threads/write-a-scary-story-in-two-sentences.16359/ (https://archive.is/uczxD)
 
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