🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor Bible said:
And by the way, I'm going to have a talk with my mother about getting a part-time job, probably at Publix or Wal-Mart.
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This is really good to hear, but only assuming you actually succeed in getting a job. Like, normally, I can respect someone for giving it the old college try, even if they do ultimately fail. But as you know, we've done this dance way too many times for that to fly this time.

We're at 500+ pages in this thread. At this point, you've burned through all your "but I still tried" cards. We've gotta see some results.

So, if you can get a job and show us a real pay stub, proving you actually worked some, then you'll definitely earn my respect. (I imagine most other people in this thread would agree.)
 
Silver said:
I'm having trouble believing that is offered as a college-level class though. Like that college "beginning algebra" should be a little more advanced than middle/high school "beginning algebra".
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College algebra tends to be pretty similar to high school-level algebra. Quadratic equations, exponential functions, inequalities, that kind of stuff. These kinds of classes are intended for people who've either been out of school a really long time and need a refresher before they tackle higher math, or for the people who are just really, really not good at math.

Has Conner ever said what he's majoring in? I'm wondering what the math req for his degree is.
 
Getting a job is hard, Connor. As smart as you think you are, there will be lots of rejection along the way. Don't throw your usual "I give up" tantrums.
 
Xarpho said:
Tips for not being a Lolcow #521: Do not write erotica about your forum's admin, even in jest.
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https://kiwifarms.net/threads/first-annual-kiwi-art-competition-draw-porn-of-katsu.11690/
 
Why would his parents disown him for wanting to do volunteer work, I don't think any parent in the history of ever has done that
 
So Connor still up to the same shit? This is what I don't get about autistics. Connor has a legion of Kiwis with life experience at his disposal, ready to give him advice and provide legit help, yet he completely ignores them to stick with his game plan?

Connor, if I were you, I would WORK with them. Not only could these people help you with your story concept, but they could also teach you the social skills that you desperately need. If you are willing to learn, I'm pretty sure someone would teach you. But nope, you still think you know better.

The Farms can repair the damage Wrong Planet inflicted on you. So Connor, you need to just submit, stop acting like you know what you're fucking doing, and beg the Kiwis to teach you the ways of being a normal functioning person. Jesus, still hasn't gotten the hint after 500+ pages. The answer is so fucking simple, stop thinking for yourself Connor.
 
AJMLurker said:
This is what I don't get about autistics.
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As you probably already know, a common symptom of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is a resistance to change. Some with ASD handle change better than others, although some, like Sweet and apparently Connor as well, are so rigid in their thinking that it's very difficult to change their minds, if not impossible. To the point where one may wonder if their minds are set to "read only."
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
As you probably already know, a common symptom of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is a resistance to change. Some with ASD handle change better than others, although some, like Sweet and apparently Connor as well, are so rigid in their thinking that it's very difficult to change their minds, if not impossible. To the point where one may wonder if their minds are set to "read only."
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It's my understanding that's one of those things therapists who specialize in these kinds of disorders can help people deal with. Sweet doesn't even have the "nobody told me about therapy" excuse since it was part of his conditions to be allowed to possibly return to ASU. Granted, I'm sure there aren't many psychological health specialists in Shitbumblefuck, Arkansas, so maybe this is one thing I can't hold against him too much.

Edit: Connor, however, has fewer excuses.
 
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Bugaboo said:
Why would his parents disown him for wanting to do volunteer work, I don't think any parent in the history of ever has done that
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Personally speaking, I think the answer is "they wouldn't." It's just Connor being Connor, making excuses whilst throwing a loved one under the bus so he doesn't have to do anything.

Watch out, @Dr. Meme , you could be next.
 
sikotik said:
He wants to be a school teacher, but he can't handle a bunch of faceless internet people giving him shit.
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I'd love to see Connor in front of a classroom full of 20-30 teenagers. They'd eat him alive in a week.
 
The Giver said:
I'd love to see Connor in front of a classroom full of 20-30 teenagers. They'd eat him alive in a week.
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When I was in 6th grade my math teacher for the year was thoroughly unliked and disrespected by all of his students. He would be standing there screaming at everybody and sending choice classmates to the office every day. It never stopped people from laughing at him openly, or mocking him to his face. Despite being an hour long class we were lucky if we got a few minutes of actual math lessons in per week. Needless to say everybody failed the class spectacularly, but almost everybody still progressed on to 7th grade regardless.

That is what would happen if Connor became a teacher at any grade level.
 
MysticMisty said:
When I was in 6th grade my math teacher for the year was thoroughly unliked and disrespected by all of his students. He would be standing there screaming at everybody and sending choice classmates to the office every day. It never stopped people from laughing at him openly, or mocking him to his face. Despite being an hour long class we were lucky if we got a few minutes of actual math lessons in per week. Needless to say everybody failed the class spectacularly, but almost everybody still progressed on to 7th grade regardless.

That is what would happen if Connor became a teacher at any grade level.
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I think you're giving him too much credit. He'd probably quit after the first spitball hit the back of his head.
 
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Somebody better be taking caps, I have to leave for the evening.
 
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