🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
"Failure is inevitable"... You mind if I sperg out for a moment? I mean, I haven't gotten high in a long while and I really need to get it out of my system. When you think about it, you are the result of thousands... tens of thousands... millions... tril- fucking AEONS of evolution. That's an incredibly high number of failed designs life had to go through.

What's so wrong about failing? Surely you don't think all those successful people out there were born that way. What you don't see is the long process of them getting to the point they're currently at.

The ultimate meaning of any one person's life is to die, right? In a way, I am already dead - and so are you, and everyone. Doesn't it make you more confident?

Like, there totally must be some kind of higher force - some call it God or some other names, some dude (Arthur Schopenhauer?) calls it the Will to Live. Everything is driven by it. There is no world without it, no time or space (for there would be no being capable of perceiving them). All exists as its subset. It is forever. Death is not a thing that exists to the Will. We are all but ever-changing, ephemeral manifestations of the Will. You are not your urges to eat, sleep, mast- have sex - those also belong to the Will. You (as in, "you", the ego) are its byproduct, a simple but powerful construct, a top-level layer of consciousness designed to analyze and second-guess the instincts.

You can never satisfy these urges. Not for long. It's a perpetual struggle, and it always ends in failure.

All you have to do is to die. Do you get it now? It will happen anyway, and from your remains life will rise anew, so why don't you go do some silly stuff for fun while you're still alive? I mean, we can make our own little local meanings that are perfectly valid on their own.

...duuuuude...

Where was I? Uh... Don't get me wrong, you can be a whiny fat faggot all you like. I respect your choice. Personally, I find programming more stimulating. You should give it a shot. Like, pick up a language and be totally clueless for weeks. As you learn the basics, you start to see your limits, and that's where the real fun starts. You begin to check how far you can push them, you keep learning new stuff along the way, the ball keeps on rolling, and eventually - one day - you will find yourself being what you were destined to be all along: a bona fide computer wizard!

Go on, throw your life away some more. You will learn eventually. Or not. It's all the same.
 
"Failure is inevitable"... You mind if I sperg out for a moment? I mean, I haven't gotten high in a long while and I really need to get it out of my system. When you think about it, you are the result of thousands... tens of thousands... millions... tril- fucking AEONS of evolution. That's an incredibly high number of failed designs life had to go through.

What's so wrong about failing? Surely you don't think all those successful people out there were born that way. What you don't see is the long process of them getting to the point they're currently at.

The ultimate meaning of any one person's life is to die, right? In a way, I am already dead - and so are you, and everyone. Doesn't it make you more confident?

Like, there totally must be some kind of higher force - some call it God or some other names, some dude (Arthur Schopenhauer?) calls it the Will to Live. Everything is driven by it. There is no world without it, no time or space (for there would be no being capable of perceiving them). All exists as its subset. It is forever. Death is not a thing that exists to the Will. We are all but ever-changing, ephemeral manifestations of the Will. You are not your urges to eat, sleep, mast- have sex - those also belong to the Will. You (as in, "you", the ego) are its byproduct, a simple but powerful construct, a top-level layer of consciousness designed to analyze and second-guess the instincts.

You can never satisfy these urges. Not for long. It's a perpetual struggle, and it always ends in failure.

All you have to do is to die. Do you get it now? It will happen anyway, and from your remains life will rise anew, so why don't you go do some silly stuff for fun while you're still alive? I mean, we can make our own little local meanings that are perfectly valid on their own.

...duuuuude...

Where was I? Uh... Don't get me wrong, you can be a whiny fat faggot all you like. I respect your choice. Personally, I find programming more stimulating. You should give it a shot. Like, pick up a language and be totally clueless for weeks. As you learn the basics, you start to see your limits, and that's where the real fun starts. You begin to check how far you can push them, you keep learning new stuff along the way, the ball keeps on rolling, and eventually - one day - you will find yourself being what you were destined to be all along: a bona fide computer wizard!

Go on, throw your life away some more. You will learn eventually. Or not. It's all the same.
We need a "deep" rating.
 
I know I said no more screen shots until the weekend was over, but I've prepped all my work for the BIG GAME this weekend at TEAM HEADQUARTERS. As such &/or such as, here are some drawings of Connor's characters by a DeviantArt friend.

I don't think this girl is the retarded mongoloid he's currently throwing under the bus since she seems talented and is going to college. But who knows, maybe Connor's only friend is a chick who's doing something with her life and that makes him so damn blangry.

EVA ELLIOT - Trial Run. I love how how she has down syndrome.

Back in 2013, Klaus and Brian seem to be brothers. Also, take note of the nice Iron Cross and shit-eating grin Klaus is sporting.

Eva's redesign DOES look better, but she still is an uggo which I guess is fitting since she keeps describing herself as something Tyce would want to bone *slaps his knee*

I don't think this is technically art of Connor's character, but it fits with @Mauvman Shuffleboard's version and that means it's now canon
No Holden drawing? Unacceptable!
 
Beating @Connor to the reply. Suck it bitch.

Man, @Pikonic , you are saucy today!

lick.gif


I like it.
 
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What's so wrong about failing? Surely you don't think all those successful people out there were born that way. What you don't see is the long process of them getting to the point they're currently at.
I highly agree with Obno's point. To the point where this is my wallpaper.
Untitled.png
 
Yeah @Obnoxion beat me to the punch so hard that I am posting this from last week. In case @Connor wants an easy way to remember the mantra (with apologies to Christians):

No struggle
No success

Know struggle
Know success
:cool::cool::cool:
:semperfidelis:
AUGH YEAH
 
I did some poking around in the revision history of the Redesigning Eva TvTropes page, and I discovered that Conner was at one point editing the page to reflect his ideas for the story at the time. Thus, I was able to find some interesting features that are not evident in what little we have as far as the current version goes. I've posted some of the more interesting finds of my research below:

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Redesigning-Eva-Tropes-7.PNG

Redesigning-Eva-Tropes-8.PNG

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I ran Redesigning Eva though a Markov chain (a very simple algorithm to generate new text with pre-existing text). Even an algorithm can write better than Connor.
Through a convicted murderer and his article on some way. Some people did you even over at his silver tongue and faded intermittently. Of all of his hand on a completely different realm. In any guards would be armed with the moment. Lift on shared psychosis last time for quite large. Your mother’s corpse as Eva asked. “I insist that material in the house in the project’s meant to seize the sun, reflecting it was open, breathed in silence as she was a relatively nice suit standing at all. She put his fingers in the future, and Holden. To Eva, Eva, simply examining her father, still seated. Pickens had long, dry opera that place she could match her power were two reached the first thing with the real world. “I figured that goes on the day. The sheets were muddy glimpses of escape. Face down, petting her arms. “Call me volunteer?” Her present self and shrieked at this over his fly, his skull, along with genes… It was the bed and a mind game. Lilith said. “Yeah, but he had a week, looking house. There was her from where the elevator. Jordache said. “Annnnnd…?” Krieger had put some guy in a moment of talking to explain to open. Acting on racks were essentially the whole concept—a mish-mash of the thirteenth floor, and tall paramedic used his own good.” His eye that it himself. He slid into the window from the information within the thought it out of, which was seated a dangling pocket watch. It was enough to talk to a completely different ways. The sound and Eva. What if my assignments,” Eva and “strange” were still smiling. “Personally, I don’t you have got in. Unfortunately.” “Unfortunately? How I’d love to reveal perfectly straight at this is bad, this nightmare
 
I did some poking around in the revision history of the Redesigning Eva TvTropes page, and I discovered that Conner was at one point editing the page to reflect his ideas for the story at the time. Thus, I was able to find some interesting features that are not evident in what little we have as far as the current version goes. I've posted some of the more interesting finds of my research below:







I always find it really offputting when TVTrope fans make pages out of their own (unfinished) work.
 
I ran Redesigning Eva though a Markov chain (a very simple algorithm to generate new text with pre-existing text). Even an algorithm can write better than Connor.
Through a convicted murderer and his article on some way. Some people did you even over at his silver tongue and faded intermittently. Of all of his hand on a completely different realm. In any guards would be armed with the moment. Lift on shared psychosis last time for quite large. Your mother’s corpse as Eva asked. “I insist that material in the house in the project’s meant to seize the sun, reflecting it was open, breathed in silence as she was a relatively nice suit standing at all. She put his fingers in the future, and Holden. To Eva, Eva, simply examining her father, still seated. Pickens had long, dry opera that place she could match her power were two reached the first thing with the real world. “I figured that goes on the day. The sheets were muddy glimpses of escape. Face down, petting her arms. “Call me volunteer?” Her present self and shrieked at this over his fly, his skull, along with genes… It was the bed and a mind game. Lilith said. “Yeah, but he had a week, looking house. There was her from where the elevator. Jordache said. “Annnnnd…?” Krieger had put some guy in a moment of talking to explain to open. Acting on racks were essentially the whole concept—a mish-mash of the thirteenth floor, and tall paramedic used his own good.” His eye that it himself. He slid into the window from the information within the thought it out of, which was seated a dangling pocket watch. It was enough to talk to a completely different ways. The sound and Eva. What if my assignments,” Eva and “strange” were still smiling. “Personally, I don’t you have got in. Unfortunately.” “Unfortunately? How I’d love to reveal perfectly straight at this is bad, this nightmare

In all honesty, a solar calculator can write better prose than Connor. He's to literature what Helen Keller would of been to competitive paintball.
 
"Failure is inevitable"... You mind if I sperg out for a moment? I mean, I haven't gotten high in a long while and I really need to get it out of my system. When you think about it, you are the result of thousands... tens of thousands... millions... tril- fucking AEONS of evolution. That's an incredibly high number of failed designs life had to go through.

What's so wrong about failing? Surely you don't think all those successful people out there were born that way. What you don't see is the long process of them getting to the point they're currently at.

The ultimate meaning of any one person's life is to die, right? In a way, I am already dead - and so are you, and everyone. Doesn't it make you more confident?

Like, there totally must be some kind of higher force - some call it God or some other names, some dude (Arthur Schopenhauer?) calls it the Will to Live. Everything is driven by it. There is no world without it, no time or space (for there would be no being capable of perceiving them). All exists as its subset. It is forever. Death is not a thing that exists to the Will. We are all but ever-changing, ephemeral manifestations of the Will. You are not your urges to eat, sleep, mast- have sex - those also belong to the Will. You (as in, "you", the ego) are its byproduct, a simple but powerful construct, a top-level layer of consciousness designed to analyze and second-guess the instincts.

You can never satisfy these urges. Not for long. It's a perpetual struggle, and it always ends in failure.

All you have to do is to die. Do you get it now? It will happen anyway, and from your remains life will rise anew, so why don't you go do some silly stuff for fun while you're still alive? I mean, we can make our own little local meanings that are perfectly valid on their own.

...duuuuude...

Where was I? Uh... Don't get me wrong, you can be a whiny fat faggot all you like. I respect your choice. Personally, I find programming more stimulating. You should give it a shot. Like, pick up a language and be totally clueless for weeks. As you learn the basics, you start to see your limits, and that's where the real fun starts. You begin to check how far you can push them, you keep learning new stuff along the way, the ball keeps on rolling, and eventually - one day - you will find yourself being what you were destined to be all along: a bona fide computer wizard!

Go on, throw your life away some more. You will learn eventually. Or not. It's all the same.
I really need to stop getting on here when I'm high. You're makinge me think about things and it's freaking me the fuck out :(
 
I did some poking around in the revision history of the Redesigning Eva TvTropes page, and I discovered that Conner was at one point editing the page to reflect his ideas for the story at the time. Thus, I was able to find some interesting features that are not evident in what little we have as far as the current version goes. I've posted some of the more interesting finds of my research below:









Off-topic, but this is really fascinating to me. There's a theory in literary circles that it's going to be difficult for scholars and biographers in the next fifty years because authors now create all their drafts digitally, so there's no early hand-annotated versions to be analyzed for insight into their creative process. Yet we're doing all this internet detective work and discovering evidence of the evolution of a particular story.

Granted, the point's kind of moot since the story is terrible and most serious authors don't go around leaving complete copies of their unpublished books lying around the internet, but it's possible that if we scoured Connor's online footprint, we might be able to produce Redesigning Eva, The Critical Edition.
 
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Connor doesn't seem to be here today, but that won't stop us from looking at his creative processes. Let's take a look inside Connor's mind right now to see what he's doing:
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Connor Connor Connor. You cannot "spoil" an ending that hasn't been written yet. Carts and horses and all that.
 
Connor Connor Connor. You cannot "spoil" an ending that hasn't been written yet. Carts and horses and all that.

At the end, Connor is about to fuck Molly Ringwald, but then he wakes up and realizes that was all just a dream and he never accomplished anything at all and Molly Ringwald will still never have sex with him.
 
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