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- Dec 29, 2014
🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker
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kiwifarms.net
How is calling him boring and telling him to leave being a White Knight? When have I ever white knighted him?
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- Oct 2, 2013
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
Oh my god, you're serious, aren't you? This is a whole new unexpected level of procrastination. "I don't want to put in the effort just yet because I'm not ready to cope with success."
Yes, Connor. That is our nefarious plan. We want you to become successful in your chosen career. God, we're such monsters.
One: I've read your manuscript, and you treat your readers like infants. Your exposition has more hand-holding and condescension than a nursery school field trip to the petting zoo. Not to mention that you plagiarized two chapters from an extremely popular novel and figured your readers would be too dumb to notice.
Two: You have consistently told us that what we really want you to do is write cheap pandering schlock for the Great Unwashed. You ridicule popularity as a sign of shoddy craftsmanship. Now you're saying that readers are more demanding and intelligent than we think. WHERE IS THE TRUTH, CONNOR?
Three: You are deeply enamored with the idea of being a writer. You're in love with the idea of the mystique and the ritual and the lifestyle and respect you imagine comes with it. But you don't actually have anything to say, you don't have the stamina to develop an interesting voice, and you don't want to put in the work. Even Chris put in the work. You are officially lazier than Chris.
This is 100% truth. I was just muttering it into my hand-held tape recorder as I skulked around the edges of a college campus while turning my cold, cynical smirk on the sheeples who are brainwashed into happy complacency even as they are slowly ground to pulp in the blood-smeared gears of the dark machine called Life.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2015
@Connor Bible all great writers kill themselves, just think of it as skipping the hard part.
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2015
Connor would honestly find out we'd be more receptive to his problems if he actually wrote more than he complained. Beating up the same old content that he's published years ago gets old and tired and a bit meme-ish.
At least we could see if he was developing at all.
At least we could see if he was developing at all.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
I don't think he needs to worry about that. He needs to be able to write something other than drivel before becoming successful and even then assuming that one day he manages to get a book published it's not going to go anywhere.
People more talented than Conner have tried and failed. His only option is to go the self-publishing route. It's still not going to be worth anything other than sporking material but at least he'll have a physical copy of his works.
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- Nov 6, 2013
This could be a novel plot, Connor: a forum full of serial killer sociopaths who openly egg on new users
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- Feb 3, 2013
1. publishing isn't done a portfolio at a time. You approach a publisher or agent with 1 project, that they then decide if they want to invest in. You're not meant to give them a dozen books to 'have their pick.' That's not how the industry works. If you've got something finished, you're supposed to find people who will help you publish it, and edit it if needed. No agent will read though several books by 1 person at once.
2. Don't secretly count on immediately getting a best seller out before even being published. There's a LOT of middleground between being published and becoming a rich and famous household name. Statistically, most published authors have never written a bestseller and never will. Just aim for being published, lol. Stop sticking to the belief that you'll either be forever unpublished or so famous that fans will surround you wherever you go. (btw that doesn't really happen to writers. That's more of a showbiz thing.) That's not really how the industry works.
Just write. Finish some books. Send some out to agents or publishers. There's literally no point to thinking so much about 'but what if I get published' when you haven't even finished a single book. It's okay to submit works when you're still refining your craft. Everyone does. Unless you burn bridges with every agent or publisher you approach if they reject your work, there's no reason why you couldn't submit multiple works to the same ones over the course of the years.
Besides, you have the completely wrong idea about what things are like after being published. Unless you're writing for a series or something, publishers and agents aren't going to force you to write more even if you do get published. That's not the nature of the industry. Being published isn't going to turn your world upside down. It doesn't really change much about the course of daily life.
Writing is neither as glamorous nor as horrifying as you make it out to be.
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- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
"I'm not going to work that hard on my writing because what if I'm too successful!?" has to be some of the best (by which I mean worst) rationalization for laziness I've seen outside of the Loveshy Therapy Center.
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2014
Quit projecting brah. We don't all hate our parents for giving us up and unfairly despise our adoptive families.
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
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- Nov 26, 2013
Days since Connor's last spergout: 1 0
Connor. Connor never changes.
Really, though, these people have it right. Personally, I wouldn't go into this thinking "I'm gonna be rich and famous!" because that's just setting oneself up for disappointment. (This isn't really for Connor, because we all know he'll never do it. More, this is for anyone who ACTUALLY wants to write.) Start with short stories or just a chapter, because trying to write a novel from the get-go (let alone in one go) feels like a daunting task and can be discouraging. Focus on telling a story, not writing a bestseller. Don't pressure yourself to become the next Stephen King or J. K. Rowling.
It's a shame all of this lovely advice my fellow kiwis are giving is going to someone who won't use it.
Connor. Connor never changes.
Really, though, these people have it right. Personally, I wouldn't go into this thinking "I'm gonna be rich and famous!" because that's just setting oneself up for disappointment. (This isn't really for Connor, because we all know he'll never do it. More, this is for anyone who ACTUALLY wants to write.) Start with short stories or just a chapter, because trying to write a novel from the get-go (let alone in one go) feels like a daunting task and can be discouraging. Focus on telling a story, not writing a bestseller. Don't pressure yourself to become the next Stephen King or J. K. Rowling.
It's a shame all of this lovely advice my fellow kiwis are giving is going to someone who won't use it.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
Connor, I dont know why I'm even bothering to post this, but anyway:
You're a lolcow. Yes, people are going to laugh at you sperging out here. But there are people who are giving you actual advice here, man. Instead of convincing yourself they're all fucking losers out to destroy you, at least consider that their advice is valid. I very much doubt you'll listen to this, but there you go, anyway.
You're a lolcow. Yes, people are going to laugh at you sperging out here. But there are people who are giving you actual advice here, man. Instead of convincing yourself they're all fucking losers out to destroy you, at least consider that their advice is valid. I very much doubt you'll listen to this, but there you go, anyway.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Stop taking cat's bait.
D
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kiwifarms.net
The parallel between Connor and ADF: where they both sperg about something they can't do.
Phil claims that once he has re-assignment surgery, he'll be able to ride a bike. Connor claims that once...something*...happens, he'll be such a successful writer he'll have existential dread over trying to top himself, the cheeky bugger he is.
This is furthered mirrored by the fact ADF will never be able to ride a bicycle, even if (by some cruel act of god) he did get the surgery, he's just simply too autistic to ever learn to ride a bike. And no matter what Connor says or (says he'll) do, he will never become a writer, because his autism prohibits him from actually writing for long periods of time.
The funny thing is if Phil had the ability to actually socialize with someone, and had enough patience, he could learn to ride a bike (perhaps a modified one but still). What about Connor? If he actually had enough humility to take a writing class, maybe. But he's still so deluded in his fantasies he'd never write anything on his own. He'd need a weird sort of life coach that constantly whipped him into writing. But that wouldn't be fun for him, it would be a terrible autistic slavery.
But neither of the spergs will ever give up. Because they are both not only autistic, but more importantly also dumb. They are too dumb to realize that their dreams aren't practical. ADF will die under a bridge in a few years, unhappy. And Connor will die in a hospital in a few decades, unhappy. Both never fulfilling their stupid fucking dreams.
Phil claims that once he has re-assignment surgery, he'll be able to ride a bike. Connor claims that once...something*...happens, he'll be such a successful writer he'll have existential dread over trying to top himself, the cheeky bugger he is.
This is furthered mirrored by the fact ADF will never be able to ride a bicycle, even if (by some cruel act of god) he did get the surgery, he's just simply too autistic to ever learn to ride a bike. And no matter what Connor says or (says he'll) do, he will never become a writer, because his autism prohibits him from actually writing for long periods of time.
The funny thing is if Phil had the ability to actually socialize with someone, and had enough patience, he could learn to ride a bike (perhaps a modified one but still). What about Connor? If he actually had enough humility to take a writing class, maybe. But he's still so deluded in his fantasies he'd never write anything on his own. He'd need a weird sort of life coach that constantly whipped him into writing. But that wouldn't be fun for him, it would be a terrible autistic slavery.
But neither of the spergs will ever give up. Because they are both not only autistic, but more importantly also dumb. They are too dumb to realize that their dreams aren't practical. ADF will die under a bridge in a few years, unhappy. And Connor will die in a hospital in a few decades, unhappy. Both never fulfilling their stupid fucking dreams.
The saddest part is, unlike ADF who at least has the retarded 'fix' for his bike riding, Connor has nothing. He has never, and will never, mention any sort of way to actually start writing more or enjoy writing more. This is something even he is unable to conjure up with mental gymnastics.
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2014
I think they call that high school. Might as well call it autistic slavery because it makes them conform to fucking normies.
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- Feb 14, 2015
You would too if you worked in customer service.
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- Nov 28, 2014
It still amazes me that you and Connor are from the same website. I get the feeling that you're the shining beacon of hope that Wrong Planet needs.
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- Feb 14, 2015
tbh I haven't been back there in months because I just can't deal with their shit.
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- Nov 28, 2014
....I just want to hug you for being so great and normal. Thank you.