- Joined
- Mar 15, 2019
Hello, nerds. Give me your lunch money. Hahahah, just kidding—I’ll Venmo you for that later. I’ve gathered you pretentious douchers here to discuss the common misspeaks and misconceptions that nobody with friends or a life would be upset about but they just get under your skin.
I’ll start off with some English misconceptions:
“Just as a sidebar”. This is an attempt to say “just as an aside” in the most highfalutin way possible while failing to understand the simple fact that that’s NOT WHAT A SIDEBAR IS. If you’ve ever made the mistake of going to university, and god help you if you were even dumber still to enter the English department, you’ll hear this line a million times from that one fatass in every class who won the spelling bee in second grade and now fashions themselves as a modern-day Chaucer. Gg dipshits, I hope you’re sidebarring away as the manager of Chipotle.
“Definitely” spelled as “defiantly”. This one actually doesn’t bother me but it does make me giggle. “I’m defiantly going to bed early tonight” in spite of who? God?
This last one is not an English misconception but I guess a cultural misconception, and it is the global destruction of the cafe au lait. French fags say it with me: COFFEE and MILK. It’s coffee and milk. That’s all it is. It’s not coffee, milk, and sugar. It’s not coffee, milk, and syrup. It’s coffee and fucking milk. Japan is especially bad about this as you never know what you’re going to get, but you can guarantee it’s going to rot your teeth out. Just give me half a cup of coffee and half a cup of milk and I’ll do it my fucking self. Fuck.
I guess I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t include my own screw-up. I thought the phrase “for all intents and purposes” was pronounced “for all intensive purposes” until I was in my mid twenties, when I stopped and asked myself, “What the fuck is an intensive purpose?” I guess the moral of the lesson is, pobody’s nerfect.
So complain away! What are people constantly mistaking that grinds your gears? What have YOU mistaken only to find out years later that you’re a tard?
I’ll start off with some English misconceptions:
“Just as a sidebar”. This is an attempt to say “just as an aside” in the most highfalutin way possible while failing to understand the simple fact that that’s NOT WHAT A SIDEBAR IS. If you’ve ever made the mistake of going to university, and god help you if you were even dumber still to enter the English department, you’ll hear this line a million times from that one fatass in every class who won the spelling bee in second grade and now fashions themselves as a modern-day Chaucer. Gg dipshits, I hope you’re sidebarring away as the manager of Chipotle.
“Definitely” spelled as “defiantly”. This one actually doesn’t bother me but it does make me giggle. “I’m defiantly going to bed early tonight” in spite of who? God?
This last one is not an English misconception but I guess a cultural misconception, and it is the global destruction of the cafe au lait. French fags say it with me: COFFEE and MILK. It’s coffee and milk. That’s all it is. It’s not coffee, milk, and sugar. It’s not coffee, milk, and syrup. It’s coffee and fucking milk. Japan is especially bad about this as you never know what you’re going to get, but you can guarantee it’s going to rot your teeth out. Just give me half a cup of coffee and half a cup of milk and I’ll do it my fucking self. Fuck.
I guess I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t include my own screw-up. I thought the phrase “for all intents and purposes” was pronounced “for all intensive purposes” until I was in my mid twenties, when I stopped and asked myself, “What the fuck is an intensive purpose?” I guess the moral of the lesson is, pobody’s nerfect.
So complain away! What are people constantly mistaking that grinds your gears? What have YOU mistaken only to find out years later that you’re a tard?
