I'm sorry. I don't have any. I'm a little baby.
I'm a baby. I have no money. I can pay you in blocks.
You're not a baby, you're a man! No. I'm a baby. Hi everyone, it's your boy Zach.
See how I did that? See how easy it is? I didn't have to go like, Hi everyone, it's your boy Zach! Freakin'- this originally was just going to be a reaction to a review, a really bad and dishonest review, but literally half of it was just me saying like, You're not 300 feet tall. Why is it this right-wing libertarian thing to just, I'm very tall! Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman! This is just like, immediate. Like, I click on a video, a guy's talking like he's 300 feet tall, I'm out.
I'm out. You're an idiot. Only imbeciles express themselves that way.
Had to get up early. I see uh, old Eric Yula uh, is doing a live stream at like 6 a.m. I'm like, what the fuck? And he's just like, yeah, a lot of entertainers be, uh, not be no bad- Bro, first of all, you've got like a hundred viewers, like just stop. Give it up.
It's done. That whole era of crowdfunding and crowdfunding plus, whatever you call your, it's over. It's fucking over.
Moveon.org Um, but anyway, um speaking of dipshits, um I've mentioned a million times. There's this scene from Smallville. It's in a later season where Clark bursts into Lex's office and then Lex does this little meta bit the writers wrote.
It's like, I'm going to stop you right there. You're going to say this, I'm going to say this, you're going to say this, I'm going to say this, and then you're going to do this, I'm going to do this. Because that type of scene had been done literally dozens of times over the years.
And remember, this is back in the day when there would be like 22 episodes in a season. So they had already done well over 100 episodes. They'd probably done variations of that scene 50 times.
Um And that's happening in life right now, which is right-wing dipshits make up a rumor, then they spread the rumor, then people report on the spreading of the rumor, and it's also very tiresome. So um, hey, uh, oh wait, I should say this like I'm 550, uh, 550 feet tall. I'm growing.
I'm actually taller than them. They're only 300 feet. I'm 550 feet.
It's like Marvel just shut down publishing. They're gonna go to webtoons, question mark. Okay, again, question mark.
There's, there's so many ways to just immediately dismiss these people. Talking like you're 300 feet tall, click. That's the clicking of going off of the video.
Um, uh, okay, so screaming, uh, my, my insidious told me, gone. Uh, beard, gone. Um, British, gone.
There's so many reasons to dismiss these people. So the latest one is that, um, insidious is telling me that Marvel's gonna stop making comic books. No, they're not, asshole.
You just needed some stupid shit to talk about in between Supergirl and the Odyssey. So they've been saying this stupid ass shit for 10 years. The funniest thing is when they use that as like a badge of honor.
It's like I've been saying this for 10 years. It's like you've been saying something that's not true for 10 years. Here is a cookie.
I, I don't know. Are we supposed to clap? It's not true. So saying it for 10 years doesn't make it better.
Is this like an emeritus lie? This is a senior citizen lie? No, this is something you want to be true because you have a weird gay feud against Mickey Mouse, Kevin Feige, uh, Joe Piscopo. Just, just, just name it. It's, they, they, they always have these weird gay feuds against celebrities.
It is very gay uncle coded. Um, but, uh, but anywho. So, uh, the rumor, these are all rumors.
I remember as a kid I was kind of angered by, um, uh, the National Enquirer because, you know, I mean this is back in the day where it's like Michael Jackson gets a transfusion from Batboy. Batboy was a human bat hybrid they're always talking about. And as, even as a kid, I knew this stuff was fake and I was like, but I was like, Mom, why do they let them do that? Why do they let them say that? And she's like, well, technically they're not saying it.
They're saying that someone else said it. So technically they're not lying. They're just knowingly talking to liars and repeating the lies of liars.
Um, which makes you worse, in my opinion. Um, here, here's an idea. You can wake up every day and not just be the biggest shithead imaginable.
Just try it. Just try it. Just try it out for a week and see how you feel.
Um, when someone says something stupid, you laugh. When a drunk, bloated, townie in his 50s says, oh my, my insiders just told me this. You don't need to worry about your insiders.
You need to worry about your insides. You are going through systemic organ failure. You need to be at a doctor right now.
Not reporting on the strawberry shortcake Netflix series showrun by, uh, what's, what's the She was in the Indiana Jones movie. She's the showrunner of Just, just whatever is your latest weird, extremely gay feud you're having with a celebrity. So the idea is that, um, well, it's, it's a circumstantial case.
I was watching one video. The circumstantial evidence just went on for 20 minutes. Now they weren't doing the bellowing.
You can't bellow for 20 minutes straight. So it was just random things and then making a connection between them. It's like, well, okay, so here's the case.
First of all, I've been saying it for 10 years. That's the case that it isn't true. You've been saying something for 10 years and it's never remotely.
So, uh, Disney has owned Marvel for like what, like 15 years? It doesn't take 10 years to stop doing something you are doing voluntarily using something that you own and fully control. They can just stop. They can literally just say, Marvel, stop.
We're shutting, just leave. Everybody leave. We're going to pay you out through the end of the pay period and we're going to have HR explain to you how to get Cobra, which is like the worst.
They always make it sound great. It's like, oh, don't worry. You still have health insurance.
You get Cobra. Cobra is $5,000 per second per person. That is not an option.
Um, you can shut down anything immediately. Now, if you want to farm it out, here's the deal. If you give it to someone and it's an extra duty, it's like, hey, in addition to what you're already doing, we need you to form up a team and do some, you know, prospectus and do some studies.
We want to farm our comics out and have someone else publish them. Yeah, that could be a year or two, but you could also say, hey, um, we're taking you off your current duties. Uh, we're setting up a team for you and we want this done by, it's uh, the end of uh, Q2 right now.
We want it done by the end of Q3. So you need to put it out there, you know, talk to the lawyers, talk to everyone. Then you put it out there.
We are, we are looking for people to make bids. Then you take the bids. Then you do a couple rounds of deciding who's going to get the bid.
Then you do the negotiations, due diligence. A competent corporate team can do that in one or two quarters if they're dedicated. If they have other duties, three or four quarters.
It doesn't take 10 years. And now, apparently, an additional five. So after 10 years of predicting something, that never came true.
We now get a five-year warning. Yes. They're going to shut down Marvel and switch it to digital, possibly webtoons, in five years.
According to stupid assholes who are lying. Um, this is ridiculous. This is a game.
It's literally a performance. If you want to get into business, lying to aging conservatives is the easiest job in the world. You just tell them what they want to hear.
And what they want to hear, counterintuitively, is that everything, it's not just them falling apart. It's not just them dying. Everything's falling apart.
Everything's dying. Isn't it so funny? Wait till you hear the Q3 deliverables in Koala Lumpur for Minions and Monsters. They only made a hundred million instead of 110.
Don't they look stupid? You're dying of organ failure and you have a stupid beard. Okay? Okay? Brass tacks, right there. Anywho, since I can modulate my voice and I don't always have to yell, um, the idea is, and the case is completely, it's like, do you remember when they fired a couple of people a month or two ago? Yeah.
And do you remember this article from 2019 on my own website that said they're shutting down? Oh, also my insiders told me, your insiders have been telling you for 10 years and now they're telling you it's going to be another five years for something that could be done in half a year? What are they waiting for? Why are they waiting? And if they're waiting 10 to 15 years, is it possible that they're not going to do it? That this was simply a conversation they had a decade ago, then they farmed it out to Dark Horse, didn't sell really good at all, the comics were bland and out of continuity, and they said, oh, okay, that's an experiment. You can literally tell sad old men anything, as long as it's like bad news for a corporation that made stuff they like. You can just say, my sources just told me that Marvel Comics is getting out of the comics business and they're going to make parmesan cheese for, um, for dining facilities on military bases.
Yeah, they got a sweet score. It's a 12 million dollar eight-year contract to provide all of the parmesan cheese to the mess halls, dining facilities of our great United States military. Isn't Disney stupid? Why would they do that? Yes, the thing you made up is often stupid.
My favorite part is when they put exclusive after one of their lies. Something you made up is by its nature exclusive until some other asshole with no integrity repeats it and bolsters it and, what do they, what do they call it, signal boosts it. Now the story could be Rob Liefeld has a history of attacking people as soon as they stop supporting him.
He was all about, what was that, whatnot, those expensive variants they do for divorced dentists when he relaunched Youngblood for the, what, fifth time? So the first couple, uh, issues, he got a lot of sales, he got a lot of money and then they started focusing on other things because divorced dentists don't want eight variant covers of issue seven of the latest Youngblood reboot, which plot twist, sucks. It's awful. It's unreadable.
So he starts spreading these stupid rumors that, uh, Marvel's going to shut down um, because just, just random, any, anything that could be classified as not good you just put it together in some circumstantial. Do you remember Woke comics that had their on toast? Do you remember, uh, uh, um, uh, Akira Yoshida? Oh, do you remember the rotation of the earth, uh, divided by the atomic weight of deuterium? And it's just this ridiculous it's just like, okay, so you have a corporation in 10 years are a couple dozen bad things going to happen. There's your case because we all know that for solvent companies, zero bad things happen over the previous 10 years.
So it's just a circumstantial case uh, the marketing guy, David Gabriel gets, oh, they're shutting down comics. Oh, they're moving to webtoons except for their webtoons. They've experimented with webtoons Their comics do really poorly on webtoons Clownfish covered the numbers quite well A popular webtoon will literally have hundreds of millions of views.
They put daredevil on webtoons It gets 70,000 views And I believe those are free views and they just make money from the advertising although you can set up some sort of way to Have a subscription and things like that Um, no They're not stopping Why does everything have to diminish and die just because you are how fucking selfish are you? Does everything's got to disappear? Here's what I was thinking as I was brushing my teeth last night Captain America was created. What like 1938 1939 35 years before I was born And I didn't really get into Captain America Until I was like 30 It was when I came back from iraq suddenly he had Special meaning to me whereas before he was just like, oh that kind of old-fashioned superhero It was 65 years after he was created that I Formed an attachment to him But if we were to use their rules He should have died When the generation that first liked him started to die off Which would have been like the 90s the mid-90s, that's when all the world war ii vets started dying off so he should have died along with The creators generation when jack kirby dies and when joe simon dies Then I think joe simon actually lived for a long time after kirby if I remember correctly um, but yeah, so things just die and oh manga is so great because You know, you know it just dies and the character dies and the mangaka dies and it's just one story stretched over 420 volumes um, but just bro Be a man Be be a man Be a man, not a man, baby This always makes me think of that one. Uh scene.
It's like I can pay you in blocks You're a You're a man. You're a man. Not a baby Start acting like this rob You suck.
You're trying to take credit for all these things that you co-created But did you notice that they did well after you left? But you didn't You want to take all the credit for cable and domino and and deadpool, but what have you created since then Nothing, but dog shit Meanwhile they're having season 2 of x-men 97 Which in my mind my ocd says shouldn't that be x-men 98? um but uh Because they're having like 10 episodes per season And back then they would have like 20 22 episodes per season. So maybe episode or season 3 should be x-men 98 um, but they're having cable and he's He's great. He's such a great rich character.
I love how they gave him an old man nose um Uh, usually I mean comics they tend to draw old people kind of weird They just draw a young guy and just make his hair gray Make the temples slightly receded, but it's like he literally has an an old man nose um but uh all of the richness of Cable came from A person that rob leifeld refuses to even name. He just refers to fabian nicieza as the scripter Um, all he's done is grab Accolades for stuff that dude you created cable, but technically you created Generic cyborg soldier from the future. You just you just ripped off terminator, dude Deadpool was just spider-man crossed with deathstroke all the personality all the rich backstory This is how uh rob would pitch it Cable's a soldier, uh for mutant rights and he might know wolverine Cool, that's like that's not a story.
That's just a hint Deadpool Is a super soldier and he might know wolverine and then you get baby nicieza and scott lubdell and joe kelly And even people like gail simone And they're the ones who fleshed out and made your characters lasting and so the report should be wrinkled child rob leifeld discovers technology at the age of 57 like he was putting these tweets. They were ridiculous. It's like I've had so many meetings about tech tech is the thing that everyone's talking about But i'm not i'm i'm still gonna make physical comics.
It's like you just always have to brag about yourself And then he does a follow-up. He goes since I tweeted this I had two more meetings about tech What the fuck are you talking about? What is a meeting about tech? This is like some mr. Smithers stuff. It's like What is assistant no, mr. Burns He's like smithers.
I was at the yacht club Hobnobbing with the hoi polloi and I kept hearing chatter about tech I don't know what it is, but it sounds hot hot hot hot when the market opens tomorrow morning buy me a 100 shares of tech No scratch that a thousand shares like what the fuck are you talking about? every conversation of the last 40 years has Revolved around tech what kind of tech ai? You can just say ai Also people have been having ai conversations for five years. It didn't just happen And nobody is out there saying like rob Ai is going to cut the special effects budgets in half and i've always dreamed of adapting your dog shit Characters that you created after you left marvel Like die hard Because you saw a movie called die hard And vogue because madonna had a song named vogue You're and shaft Because there was a movie called shaft Oh, wait, you just copy other movies and name characters after them and never give them any depth somebody described uh It was it was brilliant. They're like rob leifeld was the eric july of the 1990s.
It's like he kind of really was except for isom legitimately sucks like nobody's taking that football and running down the field with it's like So what's his powers like I don't know I thought you'd tell me I think he's strong with some shit. I don't know isom What would that sound like to you? I bet uh, eric july like every time he doesn't know something he like poses it as a That's as like a quiz like to saska's like eric. Um, uh, we've read three of uh, the isom books We we're not sure what his powers are.
Oh, you're not sure. Oh, you're not sure. What do you think they are? What how about you write them down what you think they are? Okay, you wrote them down.
Oh you guess shut the fuck up Anyway, no marvel is not shutting down They've just fired some people they uh They transferred some people or they gave people additional duties like okay, you're in charge of marvel as well as you know this thing The people they put in charge have a good track record with like the frozen movie soundtrack um, and rob is just salty that they're not letting his amazing characters of Vaguely defined cyborg soldier and bodysuit ninja Whose swords keep disappearing from his back because rob was too lazy to consistently draw them Um and all the people repeating and bolstering and signal boosting these rumors without saying This is bullshit told by sad old men Who have weird gay feuds with corporations? That's it There's there's not an ounce of truth Anytime some bloated 50 year old man My sword you need to laugh in his face My sources told me no, they didn't You saw a reddit post or you made it up Or somebody who saw a red post or made it up Sent you a vague email by proton mail and you go. Oh my sources My sources say zack snyder is going to direct dark knight return. He already directed dark knight returns Batman v superman is his version of dark knight returns you stupid asshole They're not going to shut down They're going to do what corporations do they're going to fire people and rehire people and reshuffle That's it that that's that's the super non-dramatic Instead of they're going to shut down and turn it over to webtoons even though they've tried that like twice And they've got completely anemic results They're going to do what corporations always do Okay, your budget is cut until you can start getting some sales.
No bonuses for you. You're fired You're a switch over this team. We're going to bring this guy.
He's going to oversee it because I trust him He's not an idiot like you That's what they're going to do boring corporate moves not dramatic displays that bloated 50 year old men fantasize about God, you guys suck Anyway, thanks for watching. Bye
[SPOILER/]
He needs to go outside and get some sun and be around other people. You can tell he doesn't very often.
