The biggest problem with the show was that it was way more depressing than the original show
I remember watching the finale and thinking "That’s it? That’s how it ends?" They basically sold out to the same oxy company that killed his wife, and not even for a big payday, just some paltry-ass settlement they knew he’d take because they counted on him never going to court. It was the kind of hush money that might get you through one more month of electric bills.
And I don’t say this lightly, but the Connors remind me more than a little of
Shameless, if
Shameless hated you less. Every time they get a win, they get booted right back to the bottom of the chute like they’re playing the world’s most depressing game of Chutes and Ladders, but the board is just one big chute.
My other big beef is how fast Dan ends up with Katey Sagal after Roseanne dies. Not even because I’m morally against him moving on, but she is supposed to be this aging rock chick with an attitude, but on screen she has the presence of a side character from a Life Alert commercial. I swear to God I don’t even remember her character’s name. No chemistry with Goodman, no arc, no bite.
That said,
The Conners is... kind of based? Roseanne couldn’t just bounce from Walmart to Perkins anymore. That kind of working-class elasticity doesn’t exist. Everyone’s either gig-working, running a doomed family business, or getting fired from whatever service job hasn’t been eaten yet. The only one trying to “do it like mom did” is Darlene, and she gets canned so many times I’m surprised she didn’t just start selling scrap metal out of the back of the Lunch Box.
I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT NAKED GUN ITS SO PEAK HOLY SHIT
I agreed to see the
Naked Gun reboot when it premieres, and I’m already dreading it like a court summons. I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me (beyond the obvious) but then it hit me that they scrubbed all the adult jokes. The original NG was basically a 70's-style sex comedy. Like, the DNA was
Get Smart meets
Boeing Boeing for some flavor.
What really depressed me is that everyone from the original is dead. Leslie Nielsen, Ricardo Montalban, Robert Goulet, George Kennedy, (yes) OJ....even Anna Nicole Smith. (And not only did she kill it, but her ability to give me a stiffy has aged better than the
Matrix visual effects.)