Choose Your Own Guntventure - Write one sentence to continue the saga of the Gunt Retort.

  • 🔎 If you see an alert for analytics.usips.org, this is a self-hosted system I am running as a test. It is GDPR compliant and collects no invasive information.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Jim paused for a second, after all how else was he to scrounge up the money to feed Jade this week. Unfortunately for Ethan however, Jim recalled his special "Groom me harder Daddy" sale on his hats, thus rendering the former problem moot.
 
Ethan, in a brief moment of clarity, decides to sacrifice some of his precious lemons and throws some shekels at a distance.
Jim absconds.
Ethan thinks "Maybe some fresh air will do me some good". He tries to calm his nerves as he smokes some cheap cigars.

Before the nicotine can fully have its calming effect, he sees the silhouette of a woman in the distance.
 
The figure turns and gazes at Ethan, piercing him right through what was once his soul. "Butter," she whispers, and Ethan starts to sob at the memories of what was and the memories that will never be.
 
The Figure was none of than his one True love, Nora. Nora is now healthy and became the spirit of Gunt's past, "Ethan, look at you. Unfetching." Ethan spreged "What the Fuck nora! You know who I am!?!" As he spreged tears went down his eyes "why did you leave me!"
 
Last edited:
"I left you because I knew where you were heading. A place I cannot, will not join you." As she spoke her figuire became hazier and was slowly phasing out existance.
As Ralph blinked and tried to adjust his vision it slowly dawned on him that Nora was never really there instead he was talking to his own mishaped deformed hand.
Which now clenched tightly a newly aquired flintlock blackpowered pistol.
Yet even with this new form, from the barrel faced towards him it spoke in the voice of his most beloved deciple.
"Ethan Ralph it's me, Gator."
 
"My old friend gaydur. Didn't you just came here before Jim and Nora?" The barrel of the pistol began to move like it was talking Gaydur said "Buddy, you need to stop. You have a court case about Xander Matt." Ethan seethed about the name, it was named after his two Sworn Alogs, Alexander and Matthew.
 
The figure that approached him,became visible, it was indeed Shannon.
"Gator!?" Ethan exclaimed, pulling himself together. "Why are you here?, I just spoke to you on tonight's killstream ™. Are you truly dead? It's not true!" He continued, while looking through his empty bottles, hoping to find a swig of makers mark.

"Ralph, it is me, it is Gator." " You are not to be visited by three spirits this night, but many ....almost as many as the kind you drank last night....again." Gator motions behind him, many shapes appear off in the distance. "Allow me to introduce someone who has something to say to you." Gator said summoning a spiritual sound board.

A button is pressed. The phrases "you've been deflecting this whole time" and "no I don't think that's true" are uttered. After this low effort introduction, a yellow spirit approaches next to Shannon.
 
The yellow figure was a man that has been gone for over a year and the man who Ralph desperately wanted back on the show. Ralph could not believe his eye's at first but he finally understood who the yellow figure was; it was the Bhutanese butcher, Zidan.
 
"LOOK AT THEM FLABS!" the Bhutanese butcher shouted. "We shall look at this ball of the Gunt's past and the ball Glowed Blue and they were transferred into the August 12th 2018.

"MATT NOOO MATT NO!" The thinner Ralph shouted into his computer "this was..." Ethan mumbled "Yes, the day you became famous."
 
Ethan turned to the glowing yellow Zidan and asked "Can I stay here and live forever in this moment?" and he heard only "Fuck no, that's what you've been doing for two years faggot" in reply.
 
"I'm not a fagget," bellowed the bhutanese butcher...put that away...
"Where've u been Zidan?" Ethan exclaimed...did you finally get that pack of cigarettes?
 
Zidan then told Ralph "I moved on with my life Ethan. I never told you this but I am working for Google. As a company, they are legit shit but hey it's a comfy job with a decent salary. After stream.me was destroyed by your drunken rage, my manager approached me with a promotion to work in Japan. I only told you I was on a business trip in China to give the audience content since you were never able to provide decent content".
 
"B-b-b-but I told all of the a-logs on Brokedick Farms that you'd be back, sooner than they think!" Ethan wailed.

"Yeah, and Bibble told everyone that Jim would be on his D&D stream. You used to read threads for content faggot," Zidan retorted.
 
In that moment, Ralph, in a very drunken rage, tried to choke the spirit of Zidan but ended up falling on the floor.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom