Chimpborne Weaponry - The Future?

[Cats]

What would you consider to be the best form factor of a weaponized chimp? One with an incendiary device strapped to its back and sent waddling across the battlefield at the enemy? Chimp with a gun? Chimps dropped from extreme heights onto soft targets? Consider for a moment, if you will, this objet d'guerre:

I have envisioned a program, Codename: HeeHoo, where we would train the chimps to become the ultimate spies. We would release a lone chimp into the countryside amongst the enemy. The chimp would be discovered and conscripted into the opposing army. It would be trained to retrieve small objects such as cans and snacks from the fridge, so it would be absolutely indispensable to anyone who found him. Over time the chimp would listen and gather data on the enemy. Sensitive documents and other pieces of classified media could be secreted away within the chimp's anus or via ingestion and stoolpassing, only to be delivered later into the hands of the allied forces. At the peak of the operative chimp's mission, it would pretend to have a Panic Freakout and eat the faces off as many unexpecting and bewildered enemy soldiers as possible in the night before he made his escape. Upon returning to base, the chimp could then explain everything he saw during his time in the enemy base.

 

[Shidoen]

Just watch some Joe Rogan if you want more questions than answers:

 

[Moths]

Ive heard they make for great distributers of bioweapons

 

[Mairon]

put AIDS in them, then make them REALLY sexy

 

[Postal_Rat]

OP is a chimp nice try but I'm not helping you bring about the planet of the apes

 

[My Name is Ed]

It's effective, but wherever it's deployed needs to be a permanent exclusion zone since anything that's hit by it is essentially unrecoverable. A fine scorched earth tactic, but nobody's ever going there again.

See Detroit as an example of the fallout of chimpborne weaponry.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

catz has entered a Pretty Serious Typing era and i like it

anyway no because anything you can do with chimpos you can do with regular child soldiers a lot more easily. Training is less specialised and you don't need to trick a zoo into sending you some babies you can just go to any bar and find an egyptian man who can do it for itunes cards

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Ham was pretty badass, first primate into space., and you could say he was a weaponized chimp because he was strapped into a missile.

 

[ffo kcuF]

Suicide monkeys.

 

[DankSmoker]

A chimp strapped to another chimp.

 

[My Name is Ed]

A chimp strapped to another chimp.

Nothing beats three chimps in a trenchcoat for covert ops.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

siamang gibbon trained to release poison mist from its frog throat