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https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs
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7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.
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It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.
 
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millais said:
So why do dogs hump other dogs of the same sex? Shouldn't they be able to smell out each other's androgenic pheromones even without looking?

Anyway, I think these penguins are just not that good at identifying viable mates. No sexuality preference involved, just very bad eyes that can't tell the difference between a mate and a dud. That "Grape-kun" penguin had the hots for a cardboard cutout ffs.
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Dogs are horny motherfuckers, humping is like jacking off to them.

...And also, this is just another case of the Brits being run by progressives.
 
millais said:
So why do dogs hump other dogs of the same sex?
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Dominance thing sometimes, other times I can only assume the thrusting motion feels good. The difference between that and penguins is that penguins are (mostly) monogamous and will shack up with a penguin of the same sex and try to raise babies with them. They're aware that they can't reproduce together and will try to get an egg by other means. I think homosexual behavior is most common in birds (as many bird species tend to be monogamous) and the same-sex pair will look for an abandoned egg/chick, or even steal one. But, to be fair, heterosexual bird couples will also do this if their chick dies, or if they are infertile.

I think I saw this on a BBC documentary. It was really intense. All the penguins fell in an ice ravine and couldn't get themselves and their chicks out, so they had to choose. Some froze to death with their babies, others just abandoned their chicks and let the freeze to death alone.

Also I feel like there's a difference between homosexual behavior in animals and exclusive homosexual behavior in humans. Only male sheep are known to be exclusively homosexual sometimes. Most non-domesticated animals display bisexual behavior.

TL;DR Animals are different than humans and to apply human sexuality descriptors to a bird is weird
 
Dogs also hump as a dominance ploy/show of aggression. So do a lot of animals, actually. I mean nothing like some larger male jerking off on your head to make you remember you are the beta nerd of the group.
 
millais said:
So why do dogs hump other dogs of the same sex? Shouldn't they be able to smell out each other's androgenic pheromones even without looking?
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Dogs can't smell the pheromones of someone's leg or a stray pillow.

They're dumb animals without hands to do the job. They're just gonna hump something and I doubt it matters much to them what, as long as it lacks thorns or bites them.
 
Homosexuality in nature is a meme, basically.
 
This’ll trigger trads by forcing them to acknowledge that gays exist and trigger faggots because they’ll think being compared to animals dehumanizes them. Well played, London Zoo, well played.
 
"hey faggots, don't forget to go to the zoo! And buy a t-shirt while you're there!"
 
Are these birds even trying to fuck each other? Seems to me if they're not clacking cloacas or whatever it is that penguins do, they're not faggots.
 
I think penguins steal chicks because they're jealous in a sense because they don't have their own. Males have a strong urge to take care of eggs and chicks and they don't actually need a female except to lay the egg and help bring food. Two males taking care of an egg makes sense if neither could pair up with a female. It's definitely not homosexual attraction, it's same-sex teamwork.

Actually I've seen male-female pairs steal eggs and chicks from others if they lost their own egg too.
 
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I have no problem with regular old faggotry, but I've always been bothered by the "Hey look animals are doing it therefore it's natural and therefore it is fine!" argument. Animals also rape and murder each other regularly.
 
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