UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Clem Fandango]

No deep heat is where it's at. It's awful if you get it in your eyes,,trying to rub it out makes it worse. It's the closest thing you can get to pepper spray.

But with the deodorant, at least you're deoderising them.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I know. But - It could also be construed as you carrying an offensive weapon if someone decided to make an example of you.

If you're in a situation where you need a weapon then you don't care about the consequences that follow. You can carry a multitool pen knife on your keys. "It's the torch to find the car door" is a reasonable reason to have it. And if you need to use it, it's better than any sort of pepper spray. Common and wrong self defense advice for women is to use your keys as a weapon when you hit someone. So you say "I followed self defense advice and used my keys".

It's all bullshit, you carried a pen knife for protection, but you have plausible deniability. Get your husband or a friend to buy you one for birthday or Christmas. You can show you didn't buy it yourself, it was stocking filler and it just happened to have a legal to carry blade on it and you used it in an emergency.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

If you're in a situation where you need a weapon then you don't care about the consequences that follow. You can carry a multitool pen knife on your keys. "It's the torch to find the car door" is a reasonable reason to have it. And if you need to use it, it's better than any sort of pepper spray. Common and wrong self defense advice for women is to use your keys as a weapon when you hit someone. So you say "I followed self defense advice and used my keys".

It's all bullshit, you carried a pen knife for protection, but you have plausible deniability. Get your husband or a friend to buy you one for birthday or Christmas. You can show you didn't buy it yourself, it was stocking filler and it just happened to have a legal to carry blade on it and you used it in an emergency.

The problem with carrying any sort of blade is that women are easily disarmed unless they know what they are doing, and few do.
Little penknives are also notorious for folding when you don't want them to.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Its been illegal for centuries, inbreeding is the domain of south asia

The specific type of first cousin incest that the pakis do is not illegal. It used to be. But that was a law made by the church so we had to get rid of that because I don't fucking know.

Are you telling me that the country itself hates brown people? If we're deficient imagine what it's like for them lot.

Brown people also store fat differently. White people are physically better insulated against the cold. Putting a brown person in Scotland without heating would probably just kill them. It's almost as if we evolved in two completely different locations and just shoving them in a different place will have subtle issues like that.

I wear 'jeans and a nice top', I can't walks heels and I don't like dresses.

Even if you did that means fucking nothing. Not even a child could be convinced that someone was 'asking for it' or 'deserved it' because of what they wear. Normal people do not look at someone dressed scantily and rape them, that is something brown people do and even then they don't give a shit. It's the most fucking brown incel logic there is. Anyone who thinks that wearing anything other than 'normal' clothes is permission to rape deserves to be castrated at the absolute minimum.

I think I'd probably start carrying a flick knife if it was me.

Too illegal. Best you can do is a pack of bacon.

Fucking hell. It’s like the most soy infused writing ever.

It's written by a guy called Nick Lowles. It's not soy it's just comedy why else would he want to take my lols?

women are easily disarmed

This is for everyone. Including men. If you pull out a knife but are retarded then you are going to end up the one being stabbed. Doesn't matter how big you are or what gender you are. If you are not confident and don't know how to fight you will only ever make it worse.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Best you can do is a pack of bacon.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

The problem with carrying any sort of blade is that women are easily disarmed unless they know what they are doing, and few do.
Little penknives are also notorious for folding when you don't want them to.

A woman isn't winning a fight against a man either way. It's for intimidation.

This is for everyone. Including men. If you pull out a knife but are retarded then you are going to end up the one being stabbed. Doesn't matter how big you are or what gender you are. If you are not confident and don't know how to fight you will only ever make it worse.

See above. A woman's only hope of fending off a man intent on hurting her is to make him think he'll get seriously injured trying it. To give enough hesitation to get away. If you scream he might try to run and grab your mouth to shut you up. If you scream and have a sharp object between you and him he's less likely to do it fearing he'll run into the blade when he does.

Another good option is scissors in the handbag. A sharp pair of scissors you use to open tough bags of sweets or whatever your excuse is. They're something you can wave around and make yourself not worth the hassle.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

You know how we shit on men for being retards about home protection and the belief that they could take down a thief running entirely on methanthetamines with a golf club?

Women using a can of deodrant or deep heat as pepper spray is straight up power fantasy, an unhinged paki will straight up beat them to death if they try it.

The best form of protection is wearing sensible shoes and knowing how to run. Trying to severely hurt someone will put them in fight or flight mode, and the average woman (hell even an above average woman) isn't winning that confrontation. The sheer audacity to think that someone would be able to pull a knife, stab a Paki in an area that disables them (in a high pressure situation) all without the thug being able to do anything is fucking retarded.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Stealing from Brit/pol/ again.

>Hereditary peers to be removed from Lords as bill passes

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdxg76rgdp7o

>Pro-Iran hate march is BANNED: Home Secretary bows to huge pressure and halts London rally by backers of Tehran's murderous, women-oppression regime

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15633883/Pro-Iran-hate-march-banned-Home-Secretary-pressure.html

>Britain's conscription warning explained as US refuses to rule out military draft

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2180767/britain-s-conscription-warning-explained-us-refuses-rule-out-military-draft

>Net zero to cost Britain more than £125bn this decade

https://archive.ph/9cRZ2

>Expert witness in Lucy Letby trial did not reveal hospital investigation into his medical work

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/mar/11/expert-witness-in-lucy-letby-trial-did-not-reveal-hospital-investigation-into-his-medical-work

>Record number of paedophiles arrested every month, police say

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/paedophiles-arrests-police-child-abuse-lff-b2935669.html

>Revealed: Affluent neighbourhoods where black Londoners 'up to 48 times more likely' to be stopped and searched by police

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/stop-and-search-met-police-london-sadiq-khan-b1274230.html

>UK warship HMS Dragon departs Portsmouth Naval Base for Cyprus amid Middle East crisis

https://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2026-03-10/uk-warship-hms-dragon-sets-sail-for-cyprus-amid-middle-east-crisis

There is a record breaking 1,000 pedophiles arrested every month now. The highest ever.. Look Amerifats! We're the best at something! We have way more pedophiles than yo... oh.. oh no. How the fuck are they arresting that many people and what are they doing? This isn't even sting operations, a lot of it is from people reporting them to a hot line according to the article. How bad is this problem?

 

[Otterly]

Get your husband or a friend to buy you one for birthday or Christmas.

I already have a few. Always keep one in the handbag, comes in handy all the time

See above. A woman's only hope of fending off a man intent on hurting her is to make him think he'll get seriously injured trying it.

The best form of protection is wearing sensible shoes and knowing how to run.

I have said on here before but I’ve had two experiences, one with a guy following me and one with a guy physically picking me up and trying to carry me off.
1. Guy one I turned round and screamed at, and he backed off. I reported it to the police because he was very clearly about to grab me. The police told me that opportunist predators who are native will often have family at home who will question why their face is scratched up so they will back off a target who looks like they will fight, even if they’d be able to be overpowered. She said this doesn’t apply to anyone who doesn’t have a wife, girlfriend or kids at home if you know what I mean madam wink wink. So there we go. She also said she carried deodorant spray in her handbag.
A couple of weeks after this happened two girls were raped in that area,
2. As for guy two, he grabbed me around rhe arms and shoulders from behind and picked me up. I’d been with friends before and they often picked me up for a laugh so for a split second I thought they’d sneaked up on me, but no.
I went limp, and he had to adjust his grip, this freed my arm and let me wriggle round so o was facing him. I thumped him, as hard as I could in the teeth, and I know I hit him hard, there was blood. He dropped me, and I ran faster than I have ever run in my life Into the nearest open building, which thankfully was a pub.
I have zero illusions, I am small, I was extremely lucky, if he’d kept hold of me I’d have had no chance, but if a bloke grabs you and is carrying you off somewhere , you’re in trouble. No you cat fight, yes if you hurt them they may Hirt you but in my mind a man who is carrying me off is going to hurt me anyway. You’ve got one shot at getting free and running. Punch, headbutt, bite, anything to get them to loosen the grip. Then run.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

all without the thug being able to do anything is fucking retarded.

People do all these training drills and all that shit. Most of them forget that the other person is going to be doing other things though. I remember watching some guy doing self defence against knives training drills, big muscular army guy, he does the blocking the arms and shit and you think it looks kinda easy. Then after about the 10th attempt with no warning the instructor stops doing the highly telegraphed and choreographed drills and actually tries to stab him like it's a real fight (with a rubber knife) and you can tell instantly the guy starts fucking up and is so caught off guard he barely has any time to do anything. The only take away from that situation is do not stand within 6ft of a brown person. Stand outside sniffing range of people basically. If you can smell them you're too close.

Yea you can grab a bottle of deep heat or a knife out your bag but that time the other guy has done other things too and you're on the ground. Unless you have your hand on it whenever you feel unsafe but as a woman in this country you might as well just fucking superglue it to your hand at that point.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

>Hereditary peers to be removed from Lords as bill passes
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdxg76rgdp7o

Unfortunately that just means that every hereditary peer that drops will be replaced by a political appointee. I can hear Blair masturbating himself raw over this one.

He dropped me, and I ran faster than I have ever run in my life Into the nearest open building, which thankfully was a pub

No, you can't say the safest place to from a violent male was an environment predominately populated by men. You're doing feminism wrong!

 

[femboy fart huffer]

No, you can't say the safest place to from a violent male was an environment predominately populated by men. You're doing feminism wrong!

Not only a place full of men but a place full of haram alcohol too.

 

[Just a boring name]

A few years ago, I was on my way back from Parents Evening at my daughter's school when I was pushed into the road by a bloke while I had my baby in a front carrying sling.
Three of them, definitely on their way back from enjoying some beverages, walking next to each other spreading across the pavement.

I could hear them approaching but as I am Registered Blind, I couldn't properly make out where they were because it sounded like they kept swapping places.

They walked past me, and just as I thought they were fully past, one of them turned and pushed me into the road. Because they had almost forced me into the road anyway, I lost my footing and fell off the kerb into the road.

I only just managed to prevent my baby's head being bashed against the raised kerb edge. I jumped up, folded my white cane up and started bashing the guy with it (He hadn't actually had the sense to walk away) and I just couldn't stop hitting him.

His friends had disappeared and the bloke was on the floor not moving. I unfolded my stick and carried on walking home. This was only a few minutes away from my house.

I was crapping myself by the time I got home, and I told my husband what had happened.

He said "Let's face it, no bloke is gonna brag about being pasted by a 4ft 7 Blind woman with a baby in a sling. He's gonna be feeling really embarrassed".

 

[teriyakiburns]

There is a record breaking 1,000 pedophiles arrested every month now. The highest ever.. Look Amerifats! We're the best at something! We have way more pedophiles than yo... oh.. oh no. How the fuck are they arresting that many people and what are they doing? This isn't even sting operations, a lot of it is from people reporting them to a hot line according to the article. How bad is this problem?

If a lot of the arrests are based on reports, then it's very likely a lot of them are false. I'd suggest a lot of those false accusations lead to arrests in order to pad out the statistics - IIRC they routinely record ethnicity of arrestees now - and create the false impression that the majority of paedophiles per capita are white british.

Either that, or they're doing repeated catch and release on paki child rapists.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

If a lot of the arrests are based on reports, then it's very likely a lot of them are false. I'd suggest a lot of those false accusations lead to arrests in order to pad out the statistics - IIRC they routinely record ethnicity of arrestees now - and create the false impression that the majority of paedophiles per capita are white british.

Either that, or they're doing repeated catch and release on paki child rapists.

You have a good point. I would not put it past the current system to plant evidence on people either. They lose enough evidence when it suits their needs.

I am feeling right left out in this thread. Everyone has been kidnapped except me. I must not be sexy enough.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

A few years ago, I was on my way back from Parents Evening at my daughter's school when I was pushed into the road by a bloke while I had my baby in a front carrying sling.
Three of them, definitely on their way back from enjoying some beverages, walking next to each other spreading across the pavement.

I could hear them approaching but as I am Registered Blind, I couldn't properly make out where they were because it sounded like they kept swapping places.

They walked past me, and just as I thought they were fully past, one of them turned and pushed me into the road. Because they had almost forced me into the road anyway, I lost my footing and fell off the kerb into the road.

I only just managed to prevent my baby's head being bashed against the raised kerb edge. I jumped up, folded my white cane up and started bashing the guy with it (He hadn't actually had the sense to walk away) and I just couldn't stop hitting him.

His friends had disappeared and the bloke was on the floor not moving. I unfolded my stick and carried on walking home. This was only a few minutes away from my house.

I was crapping myself by the time I got home, and I told my husband what had happened.

He said "Let's face it, no bloke is gonna brag about being pasted by a 4ft 7 Blind woman with a baby in a sling. He's gonna be feeling really embarrassed".

If I were your husband, I'd have gone back out and literally slaughtered the cunt where he stood.

 

[Just a boring name]

If I were your husband, I'd have gone back out and literally slaughtered the cunt where he stood.

He did.
As soon as I told him, he went straight out.
He is a Judo Instructor, too, and he was furious.
The guy was gone.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

His friends had disappeared and the bloke was on the floor not moving.

Are you sure? I mean. What's to say you weren't just hitting the floor? Could you see him not moving?

 

[PandaChai]

Reading these past few posts has made me want to bundle up my poor old mum and little sister and never let them outside again

 

[Quintex96]

Reading these past few posts has made me want to bundle up my poor old mum and little sister and never let them outside again

It has made me better prepare any potential 'defensive' weaponry I may or may not need.