UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Otterly]

Apparently after all the fuss last night the station itself is actually untouched (?????) which is completely fucking bizarre.

I think I’d be waiting for a damage report and a few structural engineers to tell me that before I believed it. I hope it can be restored and isn’t replaced by some modernist fucking monstrosity

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Would any one be interested in trying to collect together a list of what media they think is good British family viewing? So much is getting lost in this American slap era that it would be nice to have a list to pull from.

• Red Dwarf: Your milage might vary of when to 'finish' because the quality does drop significantly near the end of the original run but it's still worth a watch once just to see the original ending. First two seasons are radically different from what comes next but that's part of the charm.
• Monty Python's Flying Circus: Pretty self explanatory, I'd say it's fun for all the family because even the racier jokes from the time are pretty tame under modern sensibilities.
• Life on Mars: Might be a little more 'adulty' but it's one of those shows that sticks with you forever.
• Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister: Anything that shits on the Civil Service is good by me
• Some Mothers Do Av' Em: A nice little comfort show, don't expect anything revolutionary but it's funny.
• Black Books: A comedy around a bookshop. If the first episode doesn't grab you then your heart is black as soot.
• Limmy's Show: It's British alright, but delightfully funny Scottish TV. A little dark in times and if you're not used to the accent it's a struggle to watch, but really rewarding and funny. His books are real good too.
• Look Around You: It's a comedy based around the shitty 80s science educational programs you'd watch in science class when the teacher was nursing a hangover. Thanks ants, thants.
• Father Ted: Yeah it's not British but it's delightful, funny and dark all at once. A million times better than the turgid slop that was The Vicar of Dibley.

Thanks for making me write this list and realise that the golden era of British television has gone forever, cunt.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Limmy's Show:

She's taken the weans!

Also would like to add Peep Show. I never tire of rewatching it.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Glasgow Central burning down reminds me of the "slowly, then all at once" phrase people use to describe decline. That station is never being rebuilt.

Historic England is gaining traction for its refurbs of high streets and forcing businesses to use traditional shopfronts. Perhaps we should give them the 9 billion we send to Pakistan instead

ETA: i would not call Red Dwarf 'family viewing'. Hilarious yes, but family? Depends how old the kids are. The best episode is the one where his confidence and shame manifest as real people. Chris Barry though, would.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Thanks for making me write this list and realise that the golden era of British television has gone forever, cunt

Add in Britass empire to realise how quickly the population replacement has happened

 

[Clem Fandango]

For me, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace and I'm Alan Partridge series 2 we're basically the end of the "I have to watch this tonight because all my mates will be talking about it tomorrow" era of episodic TV. I don't think there were any shows after that I really felt I needed to watch live in order to join in the conversation the next day.

Eta:
Actually maybe it's just that I used to have mates back then.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

Add in Britass empire to realise how quickly the population replacement has happened

Dad's Army as well so they can see what it used to be like to live in a close knit community full of the same ethnic group.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Life on Mars: Might be a little more 'adulty' but it's one of those shows that sticks with you forever.

I watched this as it aired. It was really good. Sequel is to be avoided.

Some Mothers Do Av' Em: A nice little comfort show, don't expect anything revolutionary but it's funny.

Ooohhh Betty.

Black Books: A comedy around a bookshop. If the first episode doesn't grab you then your heart is black as soot.

Bill Bailey was always really funny to me. I've not checked in on him for a long time though. One of those "I like my memories, I don't want to see him waving fag flags or anything" situations so just left him be.

Thanks for making me write this list and realise that the golden era of British television has gone forever, cunt.

You're welcome.

Harry Enfield and chums.
Anything by Rik and Ade (they have a few forgotten TV shows that lead into their big hits).
Taggart.

Red dwarf was family viewing when it aired. My friends used to run around calling each other Smegheads. It's silly enough where the dodgy stuff goes over a kids head.

Scrap head challenge just came to mind. Kryton and a bit of ass show you what inventive British men can do with a blow torch and an old skoda.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

I will take a lot of flak for this, but my go-to brainrot TV is EastEnders and The Apprentice. I think it is one of those nostalgia things, my mam watched EastEnders religiously as did my nan. My other half, being a yank, finds the Apprentice funny because they are all retarded.

As for OK TV, I actually enjoy MasterChef since Greg left; it's a lot better. I low-key enjoyed Line of Duty too because they handled it on a very low budget; it was shot very well. I will say, except for Silent Witness, the BBC does crime thrillers well.

Harry Enfield and Chums was pure kino. Some of the shit they said on that was wild for the early 90s. "The day Sam shot the singing sambos". The Women Know Your Limits sketch is iconic for British Comedy. Mr Bean holds up so well. I wish they could remove the laugh track. I think for me, because it hit when I was getting my first job, The IT Crowd is our most recent classic. She may be a skinny cunt now, but because I grew up in a village, The Vicar of Dibley is almost like a documentary. It is scary how people are written. My Grandad was literally like Jim; it is almost surreal thinking back, actually.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Glasgow Central burning down reminds me of the "slowly, then all at once" phrase people use to describe decline. That station is never being rebuilt.

Listen, I love the look of the beautiful architecture and the old buildings there but this shit was just waiting to happpen. It's the same problem loads of major roads in major cities have in that they were built at a time where you could just get an Irishman filled with opiates to climb to the top and fix shit. If anything similar happened in Manchester or London it'd be a struggle to fit the cranes in to start work on it, and tearing down one building that's connected to every other building in the street is going to cause all sorts of structural pains.

This should be a huge eyeopener for councils because an entire city centre could be trashed overnight if a fire got big enough. Hell, part of the reason you get say, Sports Direct in a historic looking building is because of the pain in knocking it down and rebuilding it as opposed to just sticking a new sign on it and hoping the building remains standing.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

Harry Enfield and chums.

The Windsors is also really fucking good.

Sequel is to be avoided.

Ashes to Ashes is fucking peak and the final series is just brillant.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

I low-key enjoyed Line of Duty too because they handled it on a very low budget;

Line of Duty S1 is incredibly well made and well written for a modern Beeb drama. The fat 'police assistant' or whatever she was being incompetent and requesting leave for her mental health was darkly funny, especially in the context of her being a useless hire is why Gates could (almost) get away with it. Gates also openly hiring Kate and the others as the diversity hires (an old guy, a cripple, a woman, an 'asian', and ? i think Cotton is supposed to be a mental health hire) for his squad was another moment that made the show brilliant.
S4 is also great, with another accidental murder cover up and that poor disabled lad being blamed for everything. I couldn't really care for Steve Arnott or Kate (they literally gave her no character or background) but the investigations really made the show, especially how it was really all down to quotas and 'looking good' rather than true evilness. I could sperg about Line of Duty for hours but the last two seasons aren't really worth it, they also kept almost-killing Steve as a plot crutch.


The Mighty Boosh is... odd but funny. S1 when they are working in the zoo is great. You don't get weird sketch shows anymore. I have mixed feelings about The Fast Show and Unnatural Acts but the sketch show is a dead art. They are both available on youtube iirc.

 

[Just a boring name]

For me,
Rab C Nesbitt
The Royle Family
League of Gentlemen (I live somewhere that is extremely similar to Royston Vasey!)
I.T. Crowd
Mighty Boosh
Father Ted
Vic Reeves Big Night Out
Smell of Reeves and Mortimer
Bang Bang R & M
(Anything Reeves & Mortimer, to be honest, I'm a massive fan)
Fast Show.
Red Dwarf.
Mary Whitehouse Experience.
Newman & Baddiel.
Many others that I'll probably remember when another BritKiwiFren lists it.

Most recently I'm enjoying Brassic and Black Mirror.

 

[Otterly]

Adding in blackadder .

 

[Poorfag Resource]

What are this threads opinions on Chef!?

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Ashes to Ashes is fucking peak and the final series is just brillant.

I remember Ashes to ashes answers some of the mysteries from Life on mars and really spoiled it. But it's been a long time since I watched it.

Brassic

I started Brassic and thought it was pretty funny. But I can see the interracial cucking story line coming a mile off and it's really off putting. It's why I don't watch anything modern, my tolerance for propaganda is zero and I all I see is fags and wogs. The occasional midget is quite funny but they try to treat them with respect instead of a freak show.

Share the best of British comedy here. Not just Monty Python and other internationally popular stuff. The local stuff that never made it over seas and holds a prominent place in British culture. Help fellow British people find long lost comedy series to download ready for the internet being shut off by Keir Starmer.

I made this thread last year but it never took off. Which is a shame.

 

[Clem Fandango]

The Windsors is also really fucking good.

Ashes to Ashes is fucking peak and the final series is just brillant.

I don't know what sticker to give your post. Because the Windsors is hilarious, but Ashes to Ashes is guff of the highest order. Doesn't hold a candle to Life on Mars.

Dad's Army as well so they can see what it used to be like to live in a close knit community full of the same ethnic group.

Just imagine Dad's Army "updated for a modern audience". <shudders>

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

but Ashes to Ashes is guff of the highest order.

The only good part of Ashes to Ashes is that sexy red Quattro. Cor blimey

Kier has decided to not send a carrier to the Middle East after all. Don't know if this is a full U-turn because iirc the ship wasn't even ready.
The AA and RAC are advising drivers to only make 'necessary journeys' to conserve fuel.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

The AA and RAC are advising drivers to only make 'necessary journeys' to conserve fuel.

Car lockdown incoming. Please car share with these 3 refugees. They need to get to school and you're going the same way. Ignore they have beards down to their bellies, they're 15 and from Iran.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

I dislike comedies because I hate being happy.