UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

being a veteran player of soggy biscuits. I'm already used to a bit of ""palm oil""

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Disagree.

With all due respect this is just a fact. Here's a wikipedia article on it. I don't even think our sentence structure or grammar is that German, it's closer to French. 29% French, 29% Latin, 26% Germanic. Even then saying 'German' is kinda wrong, it'd be more accurate to say Dutch considering that's where anglosaxons came from.

For example, most of us live in a house (German, Haus), but we also live in a residence (French?), and additionally a domicile (Latin?).

The reason why is that all of those words are different. There's 5 words for the same thing but they're all slightly different in meaning, that's why English is so versatile and good. A house is just where you live. A domicile to me is something less specific but still something you own or rent, probably because I think of student dorms. But it makes me think of something like a caravan or a tent too, something that's not housey. And a residence to me is just somewhere you stay, not somewhere you own. If you're sleeping on your friend's sofa then that's your residence but not your house. Why do we need 50 words to say gross? Is something that's vile really that different to something that's disgusting? Not really but it conjures a different type of feeling and picture doesn't it? Vile is more of a mouldy wet word, disgusting is more of a conceptual word.

Mushy peas are shit but you can't go wrong with fish and chips.

Mushy peas are fucking gross and if I wanted to eat mush I would go chew on a lump of clay from the garden. I'm not an oap I don't need my food predigested. Regular peas just fresh peas out the pod straight are so much better. One of the few foods that taste worse when cooked.

I will not slather myself in endocrine disrupting chemicals.

Have you considered being bald? Worked for me.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Does this explain why so many chocolate bars are now shit? I don't eat sweets much but bought some for a treat a few years ago and they were trashy, almost mouth-burning. It was definitely their "chocolate" content as the ones that were mostly something else were fine.

Almost every major brand of chocolate is shit now. Cadburys are obviously shit because they were bought by the US but even 'premium' choccy like Tony's has dropped in quality tons over the past few years as they realised they were popular enough to 'tweak' their recipe for cost cutting reasons.

Gone are the days where as a kid you could pick up ANY chocolate bar from the rack and it'd be fantastic. Yorkie, Dairy Milk, Snickers, Bounty, Dime, Galaxy, Mars etc.

Like I said earlier in the thread: Asda's own milk chocolate. I haven't tried their saver version, but the blue bar that costs about £2 is the best milk chocolate I've had for years.

 

[BongoMongo]

Almost every major brand of chocolate is shit now. Cadburys are obviously shit because they were bought by the US but even 'premium' choccy like Tony's has dropped in quality tons over the past few years as they realised they were popular enough to 'tweak' their recipe for cost cutting reasons.

Gone are the days where as a kid you could pick up ANY chocolate bar from the rack and it'd be fantastic. Yorkie, Dairy Milk, Snickers, Bounty, Dime, Galaxy, Mars etc.

Like I said earlier in the thread: Asda's own milk chocolate. I haven't tried their saver version, but the blue bar that costs about £2 is the best milk chocolate I've had for years.

Aldi used to do a rum,nut and raisin one which had so much rum in, it would make my Nana's sherry trifle seem positively teetotal in comparison. It was bloody fantastic.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

So in your opinion, what is the most brainless slop on the telly?

I'm saying this because I barely watch telly and when I do it's because someone else has something else on and I don't really care

I think either Deal or No Deal or Gogglebox takes the cake. Deal or No Deal because it's performative nonsense with the contestents being 'cheery' characters that are complete retards when it comes to both financial literacy OR statistics, seeing them throw away the easiest £5k of their life to end up with a box that's got £50 in it.

Gogglebox is a different level of slop in that it's almost a Stasi level of 'this is what you should think while watching this television program' authoritarianism dressed up as chavs having fun watching telly. Television is already a one way system, so to basically go "nonono you can't interpret that as that" is genuine insanity.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Soap operas are by far the worst. Any sort of drama or soap opera because it's active propaganda. Deal or no deal is dumb, but it's pretty harmless. Like a woman collecting crystals is harmless. Where as the dramas are targeted propaganda.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

I think either Deal or No Deal

I hate these sorts of programmes because they're so fucking often just absolute bullshit. Admittedly the stuff I watch is normally more on the 'sell all the spare shit in your house' type programme and so many of the 'experts' they get on are complete retards that have no idea what they're talking about if it's anything other than your nan's toby jugs and brass. And because the host is the one talking to them they sell someone else's possessions for pennies. It's like the american pawn stars but so much fucking worse because it's not the owner taking the terrible deal.

There's a load of shows like that where it's people who horde and holy fuck some of the people they get on to 'help' are the most retarded cunts going. Just a complete lack of empathy or understanding and it makes it incredibly cringe to watch. It's like if they brought back steve miller and got him to just go into a horder's house and go ewww stinky smelly bum bum fatty no mop. Admittedly that would probably be funnier if they did that.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

English is as French and as Latin as it is German. They're all around 25% each with the remaining 25% being split between mainly Celtic and Scandinavian languages with a miniscule amount of other stuff thrown in too.

Oh I know, I just like to be a lil shit sometimes.

 

[Jason_Cruiser]

Soap operas are by far the worst. Any sort of drama or soap opera because it's active propaganda. Deal or no deal is dumb, but it's pretty harmless. Like a woman collecting crystals is harmless. Where as the dramas are targeted propaganda.

On one hand though. The main viewerbase for them will be dead in the next decade or two. I don't know anyone under the age of 50 that still watches soap-operas.

Mushy peas are fucking gross and if I wanted to eat mush I would go chew on a lump of clay from the garden. I'm not an oap I don't need my food predigested. Regular peas just fresh peas out the pod straight are so much better. One of the few foods that taste worse when cooked.

You're looking at it wrong. It's a condiment, not a side dish. The consistency is of that of a mash potato so you can dip your chip in and get a nice lump on it.

 

[BrightonAndHoveAlbion]

Gogglebox is a different level of slop in that it's almost a Stasi level of 'this is what you should think while watching this television program' authoritarianism dressed up as chavs having fun watching telly. Television is already a one way system, so to basically go "nonono you can't interpret that as that" is genuine insanity.

Gogglebox baffles me the most, why on earth does anyone want to watch fat chavs and a selection of 'diverse' people give the most bland, correct opinions on things. I think you have to be legitimately retarded to find it enjoyable.

Any of the big name talent shows are soporific arse kissing events too. You used to laugh at the obviously deranged people who believed they were special/had talent, now they get pity votes. It is sometimes funny to watch a clip of a Big Celebrity have to endure the awkward pity fest with these characters.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Gogglebox baffles me the most, why on earth does anyone want to watch fat chavs and a selection of 'diverse' people give the most bland, correct opinions on things. I think you have to be legitimately retarded to find it enjoyable.

Reaction channels..

I saw a midget at on Cruffs. Was trying to have dog training lessons. Didn't even have a saddle to break one in so what was the point?

 

[Duane Dibbley]

fuck sake thank you @Otterly Honestly some of the own brand stuff is better anyway and miles cheaper.

Tescoeses's own brand Molly Maid chocolate digestives are genuinely the best biscuit I've ever tasted and you can buy enough to choke a donkey for 5 bob.

Careful, I believe this how Epstein got started.

I'm going to make my own epstein island, except with Blackjack and hookers.
Infact, forget the island.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I'm going to make my own epstein island, except with Blackjack and hookers.
Infact, forget the island.

So your plan is to be a gambling pedophile..? The island was the least dodgy part.

Who does the best tea bags these days? Are we going to put together a food club where we all buy the same things and compare them? Could be fun.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

So your plan is to be a gambling pedophile..? The island was the least dodgy part.

It's a quote from Bender from Futurama you uncultured pig-fucker.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

It's a quote from Bender from Futurama you uncultured pig-fucker.

Since when were frat boy comedies cultured? I know the quote. But "Forget the island" when you're saying you want to be Epstein is saying you still want to be like Epstein. Just without the island.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Calling Futurama a "Frat boy comedy" and getting mad at the usage of a quote.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Calling Futurama a "Frat boy comedy" and getting mad at the usage of a quote.

Futurama, family guy, american dad were all dude weed lmao comedies.

Who's mad? I'm saying if you take the island off of Epstein you still get a pedo. Just a pedo without an island.

 

[teriyakiburns]

This police canteen is getting rowdy.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Who does the best tea bags these days?

Still Yorkshire Gold, if you're povvy scum and can't afford them then Asda do decent knockoff Gold teabags.

To this day I genuinely don't understand why people buy Tetley. Back in the 90s they had some good adverts and a bunch of collectable shit you could get but the teabags were incredibly bland.

Typhoo are bottom of the barrel shit tier.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Gogglebox baffles me the most, why on earth does anyone want to watch fat chavs and a selection of 'diverse' people give the most bland, correct opinions on things. I think you have to be legitimately retarded to find it enjoyable.

My grandma liked it once, watching it every night she could.*
If you translate that to Gogglebox's primary audience, maybe it's basically a friendship simulator/temporary loneliness abator for the elderly. If that's not enough, broaden it to the "lonely" in general. Same principle behind the popularity of Twitch streamers and Let's plays on Youtube. They're a casual, non-acting voice that tricks the brain into thinking you're not alone.
TLDR: It's Twitch reaction streams for people who can't use the internet.

*Since I started visiting her and staying around a few times a week (I want to make sure she's alright) she's completely stopped watching it. Which is my main anecdotal evidence.