UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[BrightonAndHoveAlbion]

CSAM sounds like a sanitised government buzzword term for it so it makes it slightly harder for people to get angry about. I swear if the uniparty drive keeps on going it'll be eventually changed to something even more sterile like Alternative Sexual Material, so when Terry Todger gets found with 14 bazillion terrabytes of it and gets a 3 month suspended sentence for it, people won't burn his house (which is taxpayer funded, but that's another story) down.

Whenever I hear someone say "It's REALLY strange how SOME people get SO angry over CP, I wonder what's on THEIR hard drive" I want to take a belt sander to their face and genitals until they grasp that the only humane punishment for a nonce is a length of rope.

I know CSAM is a bit like newspeak, but I think the main problem with calling it CP is it does feel like trivialising the issue. There's about 10 million jokes about CP online/in person and it's a common acronym. A local plant hire company is called CP Hire which always gets a chuckle from me whenever I see it. At least CSAM is not a common acronym and the full phrase gives account to how horrific it actually is.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

CSAM sounds like a sanitised government buzzword term for it so it makes it slightly harder for people to get angry about.

Yes and no.

On the one hand it is used to shield pedoes.

On the other it is is used to demand Grok be taken offline because it put a child into a bikini. Because that is pornography! In the name of Allah you can see her ankles!

This is hopefully obviously a pisstake since AI shoving children into wire bikinis is creepy shit but when people will swear blind that "Musk's AI" is producing child porn when in fact it is not then the argument get confused. We want nice clean lines, kiddy porn should be kiddy porn. When something that Sophie LaBelle has done isn't child porn and Netflix's Cuties is acceptable but the same news sources claim when Grok does it that is child porn you get justifiably confused. Near as I can tell Grok has been broken, presumably now every organisation shrieking about Twitter will be demanding Netflix face the same threat of banning until Cuties is removed?

 

[ThrobbingWalloper]

They should. Massive doses of testosterone will turn a woman into a terminally violent mental case who shouldn't be allowed to hold anything sharper than a tory politician.

Brittle bones, self harm scars and flayed skin. My Nan could drop a pooner. The testosterone just magnifies the bpd.

 

[CaptainAutism69]

'You're Hitler!'

'I know I am!'

'Nooo, you're meant to say you aren't and I'm meant to scream at you for an hour...'

'Well I don't have an hour to waste, Heil Ho Silver Lining or whatever...'

and everyone clapped.

 

[Made In Wales]

View attachment 8442590
It's so over. I cannot believe Reform went from a position where they'd win a complete majority if the election was called a month ago to a party that accepts any fucking brown person that doesn't have the UK in any of their own self interests.

Well, if you're that upset over Reform UK, then maybe this bit of news will cheer you up:

Dale Vince (him of the 'Veggie Hippy Rovers Football Club') is set to quit as a Labour Party member and donor because he's had a fall out with Beaker over Heat Pumps.

Beaker insists that they must be mandatory, but Eco-activist and Palestine Action fanatic Vince has said that they are now 'not the answer' and that new Green Energy should be used alongside existing heating in order to off-set costs and that Green has to mean cheaper than using non-renewables.

Almost 19 days into the New Year and the winds of change are blowing...

 

[Overdrive]

I used to work in a sector favoured by trannies and pooners so have endless stories of the disgusting shit they get up to. The one that always comes to mind first is the one tranny who sat 4-5 desks away from me openly sharing a link in the company monthly newsletter to their naked vegan cooking group where there was a pic of them with their bolt-ons and meat n two veg on display at the top of the page. This same troon a year or two later posted a pic of said 2 veg after they had been removed on their facebook profile.

 

[Made In Wales]

I used to work in a sector favoured by trannies and pooners so have endless stories of the disgusting shit they get up to. The one that always comes to mind first is the one tranny who sat 4-5 desks away from me openly sharing a link in the company monthly newsletter to their naked vegan cooking group where there was a pic of them with their bolt-ons and meat n two veg on display at the top of the page. This same troon a year or two later posted a pic of said 2 veg after they had been removed on their facebook profile.

Think I remember that, I can remember posting 'that looks like a very pathetic model of Spaghetti Junction' on it.

Cutting your bits off for attention... madness.

Speaking of madness - here's Thieves...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jTcAWvotcI

https://archive.ph/wip/PnSKn

 

[Mister Fister]

View attachment 8442590
It's so over. I cannot believe Reform went from a position where they'd win a complete majority if the election was called a month ago to a party that accepts any fucking brown person that doesn't have the UK in any of their own self interests.

Actually, I hope they are too retarded to be a safety valve for the Yookay here. Looks like it here.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Speaking of madness - here's Thieves...

The daft thing is, they're acting like the budget has already passed, but it only went into committee this week.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

The Government pulled the entire Hillsborough Law Bill after backlash from Hillsborough families over a loophole that would let the security services decide what evidence is disclosed after disasters; and then backtracked on this and said only the Third Reading of the bill was 'delayed'. A spokesperson said,

"The bill will make the police, intelligence agencies and the whole of government more scrutinised than they have ever been. We must get this right to keep the country safe. We will welcome continued support from victims and their families to make sure the Bill is the strongest it can possibly be, while never compromising national security"

Keir:

As you know, I care hugely that we get this right, that we right the wrongs for very many families who've been let down, and ensure a better future for families, in the future. In relation to the duty of candour, we've been clear that that matters. What we're now trying to do is just make sure we get the balance right when it comes to,, the application of any principle to the security and intelligence agencies. Obviously, I have to focus on the national interest. My primary duty as prime minister is to keep this country safe and secure. That is the duty I hold above all other duties. And I take it really seriously. Which is why we're just taking time to make sure that we get that balance absolutely right. Thank you.

Some levity: The Japanese Ambassador to the UK, Hiroshi Suzuki, is back on his Paddington adventures. So far he has visited the Churchill war rooms, a Leeds football match, the oldest Marks and Sparks, and had plenty of marmalade on toast and lager. He also sang the national anthem in Welsh, and visited a Toyota factory. Wholesome shenanigans aside, a quick peak at the comments of any post of his or reposted clip reveals insane amounts of vitriol for Keir and disbelief that this Japanese guy values and respects our culture more than the fucking PM.

 

[Anomalous Coward]

They should just make him pm next, but he's the wrong sort of """asian"""

 

[RetardMaxxer]

"A few minutes later..."
View attachment 8431208


If you had absolute state power the first sign of it would be Warwick Davis being bundled into the back of a van...

 

[A-Logato]

Wholesome shenanigans aside, a quick peak at the comments of any post of his or reposted clip reveals insane amounts of vitriol for Keir and disbelief that this Japanese guy values and respects our culture more than the fucking PM.

East Asians love our old buildings, history and culture. If you go any where that's historic then there all over the place taking photos and doing tours. The Chinese can be some what rude and disrespectful since they have been caught trying to carve there names into stuff but the rest are usually really polite. To no ones shock they do sometimes get the "Paris syndrome" when they come here and realise how much of a shit hole it is.

 

[Snekposter]

View attachment 8445316

You know what... I hope anon finally gets his wish if Warwick Davis is going to be that much of a cunt about a random shitpost.

 

[Made In Wales]

You've got to hand it to Warwick, otherwise he can't reach it.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I was standing at a Spoons urinal when I saw there was a childs urinal that was a little lower down. It made me realise that if Warrick Davis came to spoons he'd need a little fucking stool in order to piss in a childs urinal.

Now I get why he's such a complete fucking tosser, the lad can't just have a pint of birra moretti with his spoons tikka masala because he wouldn't be able to piss.

If I won the lottery I'd buy my own spoons and make it only for little people. Little chairs, little tables, little portions etc. Then when the room is full I press a button and fill the entire dining area with chlorine gas.

 

[Made In Wales]

I was standing at a Spoons urinal when I saw there was a childs urinal that was a little lower down. It made me realise that if Warrick Davis came to spoons he'd need a little fucking stool in order to piss in a childs urinal.

Now I get why he's such a complete fucking tosser, the lad can't just have a pint of birra moretti with his spoons tikka masala because he wouldn't be able to piss.

If I won the lottery I'd buy my own spoons and make it only for little people. Little chairs, little tables, little portions etc. Then when the room is full I press a button and fill the entire dining area with chlorine gas.

For some reason, I'm thinking back to 'Shorties Watching Shorties' and the Dane Cook sketch about him in the toilet with a young kid - but the young kid is Warwick Davis.

 

[Otterly]

Hiroshi Suzuki

That’s really good PR for him, he’s doing all the right things. Japanese tourists generally are very well behaved.
Perhaps mr. Suzuki, or even Paddington would like to be PM instead of Starmer? Perhaps we could elect the jar of marmalade? It would hate us less.

 

[evrae]

I was standing at a Spoons urinal when I saw there was a childs urinal that was a little lower down. It made me realise that if Warrick Davis came to spoons he'd need a little fucking stool in order to piss in a childs urinal.

Now I get why he's such a complete fucking tosser, the lad can't just have a pint of birra moretti with his spoons tikka masala because he wouldn't be able to piss.

If I won the lottery I'd buy my own spoons and make it only for little people. Little chairs, little tables, little portions etc. Then when the room is full I press a button and fill the entire dining area with chlorine gas.

A little guy who lived in a little world, drinking little drinks in a little Spoons at a little bar, before the little walls all drop and reveal it's a little gas chamber with little "shower heads" that are linked to little bottles of gas. All to cut their life short.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

It looks like there is going to be some infighting in Reform. Multiple pundits, who would be classed as insiders, are claiming that Zia knew nothing about Jenrick coming into the fold. The same pundits also have said Zia hates Jenrick. I can see them getting rid of the Israeli guy, though. Every single comment about him is negative; on top of that, even the sycophants hate him. You watch this, as soon as their polling goes down to 25% hes out.

It alludes me how someone in Head Office thought him and Dorris were "good picks". They are a symbol of everything wrong with the Boris administration.

On top of that in Reform, there are now 2 caucuses: a centrist conservative hugbox, which seeks to continue the uniparty fantasy, and then a far right faction led by Jenrick. Honestly, if Jenrick ousted Farage and the uniparty and kept the far right members in, I would actually prefer it. Farage is an awful politician; he is lazy and completely self-seeking. He is also fickle and incredibly inconsistent.