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https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs
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7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.
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It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.
 
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I may venture to spoons on boxing day, it you see a large shaven headed gent straight out of a norf FC meme, it's me. Definitely stand out from the crowd in spoons.
 
Geoff Capes Vapes Apes said:
I may venture to spoons on boxing day, it you see a large shaven headed gent straight out of a norf FC meme, it's me. Definitely stand out from the crowd in spoons.
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The secret code is to order a Ruddles and Sailor Jerry's. If the person next to you sees you order that, they should raise their eyebrow and say "Greggs?". That will confirm both as Kiwifarms shit posters.
 
To the feds seeing this late at night on Christmas Eve (you sad fucking bastard) or even worse during Christmas DAY... I hope your overtime pay is worth not being able to kiss your family and have an enjoyable Christmas. I hope that you realise that whenever one of said family members gets 'enriched' by the Islamic schizos of peace that you'll be immediately reported to PREVENT yourself, lose your job and spend the rest of your life being watched by your coworkers.

I hope you eventually clock that you're closer to us than you can ever, ever admit.

Now that's over and done with, time to watch another season of Red Dwarf and get even more drunk.
 
Tom Nook's Gloryhole said:
To the feds seeing this late at night on Christmas Eve (you sad fucking bastard) or even worse during Christmas DAY... I hope your overtime pay is worth not being able to kiss your family and have an enjoyable Christmas. I hope that you realise that whenever one of said family members gets 'enriched' by the Islamic schizos of peace that you'll be immediately reported to PREVENT yourself, lose your job and spend the rest of your life being watched by your coworkers.

I hope you eventually clock that you're closer to us than you can ever, ever admit.

Now that's over and done with, time to watch another season of Red Dwarf and get even more drunk.
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We will smoke you a kipper.
 
Tom Nook's Gloryhole said:
To the feds seeing this late at night on Christmas Eve (you sad fucking bastard) or even worse during Christmas DAY... I hope your overtime pay is worth not being able to kiss your family and have an enjoyable Christmas. I hope that you realise that whenever one of said family members gets 'enriched' by the Islamic schizos of peace that you'll be immediately reported to PREVENT yourself, lose your job and spend the rest of your life being watched by your coworkers.

I hope you eventually clock that you're closer to us than you can ever, ever admit.

Now that's over and done with, time to watch another season of Red Dwarf and get even more drunk.
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Just for you - enjoy (as Kryten would say)...
 
Otterly said:
Have some mercy, man, it’s Christmas!
Anyway it’s ’one on a scooter pippin’ his hooter’ and you can either have the big cigar or wearing a wonder bra if the teachers aren’t listening.
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For my family it was "One in a bus and one in a car, one on a scooter, tootin' his hooter, smoking a rubber cigar! OOOOOOOHHHHHH star of wonder, star of light, Charlie caught his pants alight! Westward leading, still proceeding, guide us to thy lump of shite!" If I remember right, learned that one from my dad.

And once again Merry Christmas to you all. Got the food ready that can be done tonight, and got a right big turkey going low and slow in the oven overnight with some smoky bacon, all for the big Christmas dinner.
 
If men from the east come and bring you gifts, remember to kick their shins and wish them a merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to everyone here :)
 
Merry Christmas, fellow Foggy Albion dwellers! I hope your Christmas tables are groaning under the weight of good food and drink, and your patience stores are maxed out for dealing with family. Enjoy the perfect postprandial nap!

I’d happily mek youse all a brew if you’re ever around these parts. I also promise not to cause a fight over the football (this time, at least). Getting too old for that shit now.

Spoke to my mum last night - we call once a month, unless there’s urgent news. Well, neither her nor her neighbour called me to let me know the urgent news that she’d fallen down the stairs a couple of weeks ago and broke her upper arm and shoulder. Mammy being Mammy, she flat blank refused “any of that metal shite in my shoulder” and came home from the hospital way too early. At least she’s found a good physiotherapist near her, but she’s unable to drive or lift anything heavy or wash properly or build a fire (ancestral home is straight out of an Irish peasant history book). I’m in Ingerlund and unable to get out to her (would be no help even if I could). Thank FUCK for neighbours who care, and proper community spirit. Nice to see the brave new Ireland of raging spars hasn’t reached the wilds yet. Jesus Christ, though.
 
UselessRubberKeyboard said:
Merry Christmas, fellow Foggy Albion dwellers! I hope your Christmas tables are groaning under the weight of good food and drink, and your patience stores are maxed out for dealing with family. Enjoy the perfect postprandial nap!

I’d happily mek youse all a brew if you’re ever around these parts. I also promise not to cause a fight over the football (this time, at least). Getting too old for that shit now.

Spoke to my mum last night - we call once a month, unless there’s urgent news. Well, neither her nor her neighbour called me to let me know the urgent news that she’d fallen down the stairs a couple of weeks ago and broke her upper arm and shoulder. Mammy being Mammy, she flat blank refused “any of that metal shite in my shoulder” and came home from the hospital way too early. At least she’s found a good physiotherapist near her, but she’s unable to drive or lift anything heavy or wash properly or build a fire (ancestral home is straight out of an Irish peasant history book). I’m in Ingerlund and unable to get out to her (would be no help even if I could). Thank FUCK for neighbours who care, and proper community spirit. Nice to see the brave new Ireland of raging spars hasn’t reached the wilds yet. Jesus Christ, though.
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What is with parents? Her from number 43 gets new curtains? Literally hold the front page. Oh I took a fall an broke a bone? Best not trouble the children.

I genuinely hope she makes a swift recovery and that's excellent news about the physio. They can help a lot.
 
Merry Christmas fellow Britbong autists!
I hope you all have a cosy day and your prawn cocktails and roast potatoes are particularly lush this year.
 
Merry Christmas to my fellow Prison Islanders, or what I lovingly call Minority Report Island. A happy (early) Eid to the Feds reading too. I hope you lovingly typed in your report, "They proceeded to wish each other Merry Christmas for 3 pages, the 2 before that were about Aldi ques." Truly, we are the fourth Reich incarnate.

Honestly, in my area, I use Lidl as the staff are friendly and don't proceed to hurl my items at me in checkout at Mach speed.

In the States, I was even able to find parsnips. I am making a shit ton of roasties. I was surprised by how cheap it was. We managed to get the Christmas dinner items for under $30; heck, even my Christmas alcohol came in under $100. It has made me realise how expensive the UK really is.
 
Update on the Tesco Finest pthivier vegetarian thing - small for £22, and it’s simply a cheese and veggie pie. But, it’s a bloody good cheese and vegetable pie. Bit of a rip-off at £22, but you know Tesco. Never thought parsnip would go well with cheese, but I’m now a convert.

Bloke had beef gravy (with non-vegetarian OXO cube in), so not quite as virtuously veggie as he’d have liked. Don’t tell him I cooked his roasties in lard.

Stuffed. I hope everyone is currently enjoying their after-dinner nap until beer and chocolate o’clock arrives again.

Did anyone get anything nice/fancy/hilarious/terrible for Christmas? How are your new socks?
 
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