UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[draggs]

If you believe an American go say the same things as we can't on social media and face no backlash, then I don't believe you have been paying attention.

Our government does the dirty work for the government, in america, they out-source it to companies.

I would go one further and say their suppression of information harmful to the government and corporations is extreme. Whereas our government get a good laugh out of making one another look like twats.

Dis nigga hasn't checked shitter in the last year, it's 1488 all the time over there. No one is afraid to say anything and no one gets punished for saying anything. As Americans we say online fifty times a day across multiple sites what gets britoids visited by the police, nobody gives a fuck nobody cares. Nobody backlashes except other people disagreeing. Unless it's really grotesque harassing or threatening or pedo shit. Like it should be. You're coping hard mate

 

[Clem Fandango]

I am 90% sure that the 9-year-old was murdered by her brother or another relative. Most of the press reports state that she lived at home with her mother and multiple older siblings. There is a line from the police statement ('The girl’s family were informed last night of what had happened and our heartfelt condolences go out to them') which implies that at least some of her family were not at home at the time - they wouldn't need to be told their daughter had been killed at home if they were there. Which means that either they had left her completely by herself (unlikely but not impossible) or that they had left her in the care of an older relative. Of course, it is possible that the relative is not biologically so.

The odds of it being a random boat wog who was 'lucky' enough to break into the one house on a residential street with a single girl inside at the time are low. It is dreadful enough regardless and the piece of shit responsible should hang.

I think you're right. From a new article on this:


"Flanked by three dock officers and wearing a grey prison-issue tracksuit, the teenager - who was arrested in Worle on Monday evening - was remanded into custody by District Judge Nicholas Wattam and told his next court appearance would be at Bristol Crown Court on Friday.

His father was among those present in court."

This sentence alone tells me that the killer is not black. Elementary.

(they should do a new version of Sherlock where he's racist)

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Got banned from a pharmacy today lads. Had a nigger moment. I ordered some anti-biotics a week and three days ago for an ear infection. Every time I've gone to collect them on the day that they say they will be in, I am greeted by the same head bobbling jeet, who tells me that they have "not yet to be arrived." Where I am currently working, I can't just nip out to the shops, there's a gate, and checks and it's just not how that works. So I have to either work from home (gay), or take a day off (gayer).

I get there today, I wait in line while six shufflers ahead of me try and fill the empty void of being old, by talking to an indian who is very clearly not comprehending a word they are saying. I get to the counter, I hand him the slip, he goes and checks, he comes back "Ahh, apologies sir, but they have not yet arrived. We have ordered them, but they have not yet arrived." And I look into his blank eyes, and his stupid fucking fake smile and I just fucking lose it. I said "Look, I get that you're a jeet and therefore a fucking idiot, but can you please just try and get this right." I don't know if he knows what jeet means, but he clearly understood it was a slur. Nobody clapped and the jeets name was not Albert Einstein. So I have been barred. How embarrassing. I share this with you because there was a mid 30s woman that laughed very sharply when she heard 'jeet' and I want to know which of you was there with me. Re: medicine. Did you know you can just buy them online? Insane. Cost me slightly more than the pharmajeet, but no need to interact with them.

(they should do a new version of Sherlock where he's racist)

"Watson, call Scotland Yard, tell them it couldn't have been Ngubu who raped and ate that little girl."
'Holmes, are you sure?'
Sherlock picks up a perfectly solved rubix cube next to the murder victim.
"Completely."

 

[FedPostalService]

Anyone else surprised there’s been no Truck of Peace either here or on the continent yet? I know there’s still time.

I’m listening to Andrew Neil talking about how he’s surprised how certain people have been let into the country when he’s usually crying about people wanting to deport them.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Anyone else surprised there’s been no Truck of Peace either here or on the continent yet? I know there’s still time.

I’m listening to Andrew Neil talking about how he’s surprised how certain people have been let into the country when he’s usually crying about people wanting to deport them.

Economy isn't doing too hot, trucks are too pricey. Maybe a shopping trolley of peace?

 

[Monopolywheel]

Anyone else surprised there’s been no Truck of Peace either here or on the continent yet? I know there’s still time.

Oh they've been trying

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2dz7r708dxo

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Got banned from a pharmacy today lads. Had a nigger moment. I ordered some anti-biotics a week and three days ago for an ear infection.

Oral antibiotics are fucking useless for ear infections, the ENT specialists at hospital are begging Drs to stop giving them out. Hoping it goes away for you but you should ask for this neomycin (iirc) cream that they put in your ear canal. Are they still giving out ciproflaxin for bad ear infections? that shit is awful, it turned my skin brown for a month, but it does the job.

PMQs - Keir Starmer says to Reform MPs "If mysterious men from the east appear bearing gifts, this time, report it to the police"

Zarah is still at the prison to feed the hunger strikers- I thought the point of a hunger strike was to risk death, not for it to get so bad that the government/daddy turns around and goes 'oh you poor little thing of course I'll listen to you now!' They really do treat the government as an extension of their parents- I won't eat dinner mum and dad and I'll be sooo hungry and THEN you'll feel bad for me!!!

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Oral antibiotics are fucking useless for ear infections, the ENT specialists at hospital are begging Drs to stop giving them out. Hoping it goes away for you but you should ask for this neomycin (iirc) cream that they put in your ear canal. Are they still giving out ciproflaxin for bad ear infections? that shit is awful, it turned my skin brown for a month, but it does the job.

I was SUPPOSED to get ear drops, but the jeet didn't order them!

Zarah is still at the prison to feed the hunger strikers-

Then they're...not on hunger strike? Am I retarded? The basic requirement for a hunger strike, is you don't eat right?
EDIT
>Be on hunger strike
>Near death
>Zara Sultana walks in with a bowl of food
>"My angel!" you think
>Eat a spoonful
>Authentic Indian Curry
>Shit yourself to death instantly.

 

[A-Logato]

Anyone else surprised there’s been no Truck of Peace either here or on the continent yet? I know there’s still time.

Can't have a truck of peace if there's barely any Christmas markets even happening. I even went to one of the few that were even going on and there were armed security everywhere, "Merkel blocks" at the end of every street and the place had an uneasy feeling as a whole.

 

[Coolio55]

Now though, those jobs don't exist. Night staff cost more and employers have to offer night staff annual health checks, plus just in time logistics are cheaper, so they've done away with them. And that's why supermarkets are always full of staff putting away shit

Ah, so that's why they only ever have a single till half-open.
It's like they just expect you to walk out without paying now.

 

[BongoMongo]

Ah, so that's why they only ever have a single till half-open.
It's like they just expect you to walk out without paying now.

That's partly it. Also self check outs don't require NI, sick leave,holiday pay, staff discount, legally mandated rest periods between shifts. You know, all those nasty little extras that cost pennies that Mr.Sainsburys and Ms Tesco don't want to cough for.

That's despite their profits exploding with the final death knell of the high street, such as it was,during a complete over reaction to a seasonal respiratory illness a few years back.

Ocado might be a big retailer as well, but I have a family member, and two friends who work for them in different capacities and as an employer they really, really rate them. Personally, I find them not that expensive if you know how to cook, and look about for stuff, I like that if it's not in stock for your chosen delivery, you can't order it (so no bullshittery with substitutions) and I don't have to go an deal with the public, be they other customers or the spastics that some of them employ.

An Asda on a Saturday morning would have Dante re-assessing his circles of hell model.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Watson, call Scotland Yard, tell them it couldn't have been Ngubu who raped and ate that little girl."
'Holmes, are you sure?'
Sherlock picks up a perfectly solved rubix cube next to the murder victim.
"Completely."

Inspector Lestrade: "The victim looked like they tried to spell out the identity of their attacker in their final moments"

A body lies crumpled in the corner. On the wall, large letters N, I and G have been cruedely daubed in blood.

Watson: "Nigel... perhaps?"

Sherlock: "I'm afraid not Watson. I don't yet know the name of our villain, but I can tell you this - he's black".

Watson: "Astonishing Holmes!"

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I know the UKAYYYYY gets roundly criticised for being wet and miserable but these past few weeks have been especially wet and miserable. Just constant rain and wind and darkness.

At least I'll be eating my weight in turkey and stuffing next week.

 

[FedPostalService]

I know the UKAYYYYY gets roundly criticised for being wet and miserable but these past few weeks have been especially wet and miserable. Just constant rain and wind and darkness.

At least I'll be eating my weight in turkey and stuffing next week.

I’ve been going for a sauna every day to beat the winter blues.

 

[BongoMongo]

I know the UKAYYYYY gets roundly criticised for being wet and miserable but these past few weeks have been especially wet and miserable. Just constant rain and wind and darkness.

At least I'll be eating my weight in turkey and stuffing next week.

We're not doing a traditional roast this year. Tbh They're a lot of faff and nothing special. Christmas Eve, I knock off at 0700, and I'm making lasagne for the next day. His nibs is doing his homemade tiramisu for dessert (heavy on the booze) and we're gonna get slightly tipsy.

I'm really, really looking forward to it. No fuss, no drama, no screaming histrionic nieces or the sister in law (who is already snipping that we've not bought the "right" squish mallow (is that what they are??) for youngest (should be grateful we didn't get my choice, which was books. Kid needs to spend less time on thick tock imo), no noise. I can't fucking wait.

 

[Otterly]

know the UKAYYYYY gets roundly criticised for being wet and miserable but these past few weeks have been especially wet and miserable. Just constant rain and wind and darkness.

Apparently Northern Europe has been exceptionally dreich this winter. Stockholm has had the gloomiest December since 1934 with a whole thirty minutes of sunshine

 

[Vesperus]

"Merkel blocks" at the end of every street and the place had an uneasy feeling as a whole.

I believe the correct term is "Merkel Lego".

 

[Throwing Romans]

Uh-oh Niggerbros, we wuzn't britons? Article | Archive

 

[BongoMongo]

Uh-oh Niggerbros, we wuzn't britons? Article | Archive

I wonder if the BBC will now remove the absurd plaque they put up to commemorate this blatant historical revisionism?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Thing is about this body, Cheddar man etc, it fails a very basic sniff test. How the fuck is a woman getting from sub-saharan Africa to England in the year of our lord 150, and why would she when everyone on the other side of the channel back then knew we were just a misty wasteland full of crazed, human sacrificing, bog-dwelling frog people?

The fact that they decided that she wuz based purely on the exhaustively scientifically derived evidence of.... someone drew her as a negress. Literally nowt else.