UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Made In Wales]

Kiwis, Britons, fellow potatoniggers, I have terrible personal news.

My bloke went to Greggs at dinnertime and got me nowt. What’s worse is that he didn’t even partake of the hallowed sausage roll (got bless its golden pastry layers). The daft bugger got a square of pizza, ffs. In Greggs.

That boy ain’t normal, ah tells thi.

We are in the last days and we have sinned against God.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Yeah but not getting something for your missus while you're in there?? Come on.

Is romance dead?

The food is the reward for the pilgrimage. If you cannot walk the 42 days through the shithole (town centre) you do not deserve the salvation at it's end. And cold shit like that is disgusting and microwaves suck if I wanted a fucking gross sweaty sausage roll then I'd and no one is heating that shit in anything proper.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

The food is the reward for the pilgrimage. If you cannot walk the 42 days through the shithole (town centre) you do not deserve the salvation at it's end. And cold shit like that is disgusting and microwaves suck if I wanted a fucking gross sweaty sausage roll then I'd and no one is heating that shit in anything proper.

Can’t decide if it’s a good thing that you get to know exactly where the drunk, drug-addled weirdos droop about in the city centre, and automatically give them a wide berth. Don’t even have to think about it now, I just take a meandering route from one street to another like some Cold War spy trying to shake off the plod. Benches and statues are the flop spots, usually. Feel sorry for any non-locals visiting and wanting to get a closer look at a monument, or a sit down with a decent Greggs sausage roll.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Anyone noticed a lot of very black blacks walking about in regetta/north face style waterproof coats with the hoods up, while wearing backpacks and they always seem to be walking places you wouldn't expect; grass verges, on dual carriageways, places between towns where there's no path or road.

It just looks like they're scouting about and what's in their backpacks?

 

[Made In Wales]

Anyone noticed a lot of very black blacks walking about in regetta/north face style waterproof coats with the hoods up, while wearing backpacks and they always seem to be walking places you wouldn't expect; grass verges, on dual carriageways, places between towns where there's no path or road.

It just looks like they're scouting about and what's in their backpacks?

Definitely up to no good, but could be 'recon' for a terrorist event or three this winter.

I bet that leave will be cancelled once again for those defending the thin blue line...


More to come Re: Rachel Thieves

https://www.gbnews.com/news/christopher-hope-rachel-reeves-housing-rule-break-scandal

https://archive.ph/PMdUp

Plus the Joint Council of Welfare for Immigrants (JCWI) has denied that there's a migration crisis:

https://www.gbnews.com/news/migrant-crisis-charity-jcwi-channel-crossings-small-boats

https://archive.ph/wip/e43Mj

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Anyone noticed a lot of very black blacks walking about in regetta/north face style waterproof coats with the hoods up, while wearing backpacks and they always seem to be walking places you wouldn't expect; grass verges, on dual carriageways, places between towns where there's no path or road.

It just looks like they're scouting about and what's in their backpacks?

I saw some muzzie looking fella trying to cross the road at a roundabout by walking onto the roundabout (despite the roads having traffic light crossings) I think they just don't know or understand how roads work.

 

[Pat Mustard]

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/pol...lected-bangladesh-tower-hamlets-b1255393.html

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

Right back to the Haribo tangfastics, I fucking hate how every single 'oh my god guys this is SOOO SOUR this is going to RUIN YOUR TONGUE' type sweets are fucking mild. Have I basically blasted my tongue to smithereens as an adult from years of eating vindaloos or are sweet manufacturers convinced that kids are fucking pussies these days and will sperg out to their mummy that their sweets hurt them?

I had a few of those Sour Patch Kids that the Amerimutts keep banging on about and they were basically those sour wine gums from years back that gave you a mild buzz but that's that.

Where are the toxic waste type sweets of yesteryear that BURNED? Are Fishermans Friend truly the last bastion of sweets that make me feel like I'm fighting a whale with my bare hands?

Toxic Waste fucked you up because they were a jeet sweet full of whatever the fuck the Pakistani factory had lying around, like Gopesh's Marvellous Medicine.

Make your own sour boiled sweets! It's pretty much just water, sugar, fruit extract, and as much citric acid as you can get your hands on. It's great being able to flavour them yourself, because strong sour boiled sweets in the UK are pretty much just blue flavoured.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Why are there so many articles on the BBC about Lily Allen and her new album? Who cares about Lily Allen? Is she paying for these blatant adverts?

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Where are the toxic waste type sweets of yesteryear that BURNED?

The ingredients changed to make them Vegan friendly
Haribo and fruit pastels are no longer made with beeswax - the thing that made them solid but chewy and flavourful, or geleteen - the thing that made them solid but chewy and flavourful, and have been substituted for chemical slops that makes the sweets mushy and flavourless.

Remember though, we must provide OPTIONS for vegans, it's about OPTIONS, unless the option is to not have vegan slop in your food, then you can fuck right off.

 

[Otterly]

lot of it is having blasted their taste buds from an early age with chemicals we only use in industrial products, so they're massively overstimulated flavour-wise.

My decades upon this earth and the utilisation thereof of public transport have led me to the following conclusion; that there is a HUGE variation in the human ability to smell and taste things. I can smell someone opening an orange in the office from across the room. Food doesn’t need much seasoning. I have encountered a lot of people who simply don’t seem able to smell things. The ‘I don’t shampoo’ crowd, the spicy food people.

My bloke went to Greggs at dinnertime and got me nowt. What’s worse is that he didn’t even partake of the hallowed sausage roll (got bless its golden pastry layers). The daft bugger got a square of pizza, ffs. In Greggs.

Was he at least a bit racist?

 

[BongoMongo]

Anyone noticed a lot of very black blacks walking about in regetta/north face style waterproof coats with the hoods up, while wearing backpacks and they always seem to be walking places you wouldn't expect; grass verges, on dual carriageways, places between towns where there's no path or road.

It just looks like they're scouting about and what's in their backpacks?

YES. I work at a site on an industrial park and we get HGVs parked overnight either waiting to offload in morning or on tacho breaks. The niggers knocking about make the drivers twitchy and I don't like it cos they're hard to spot on the CCTV.

The Police were called by a driver other night, the bloke skulking about was taken away in a Police car.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Why are there so many articles on the BBC about Lily Allen and her new album? Who cares about Lily Allen? Is she paying for these blatant adverts?

It's the only thing happening in the country that isn't Nonce Andrew, Starmer's Scandals, NHS Collapse, or another daily stabbing. They've got to run with something.

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

Why are there so many articles on the BBC about Lily Allen and her new album? Who cares about Lily Allen? Is she paying for these blatant adverts?

She's with MCPR, who are really fucking good at what they do (there's a fawning piece in Business Insider right now, for example.) So yes, she's paying a lot.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Why are there so many articles on the BBC about Lily Allen and her new album? Who cares about Lily Allen? Is she paying for these blatant adverts?

You've brought up the name of Lily Allen, someone who I had never heard the name of prior, and have now proliferated awareness of Lily Allen amongst new onlookers. The BBC articles have achieved their job and you have advertised inadvertently on her behalf. What have you done?

 

[Clem Fandango]

She's with MCPR, who are really fucking good at what they do (there's a fawning piece in Business Insider right now, for example.) So yes, she's paying a lot.

Ahh, good so I'm not just going crazy.

If they want some feedback, I would suggest that "Weekly Quiz: How many years since Lily Allen last released an album" is just a little too obvious. But to be fair, they have been given a very hard task here.

Edit:

You've brought up the name of Lily Allen, someone who I had never heard the name of prior, and have now proliferated awareness of Lily Allen amongst new onlookers. The BBC articles have achieved their job and you have advertised inadvertently on her behalf. What have you done?

Well shit, sorry. They got me. Guess they are good at what they do.

I'll draw a line under it - there will be no more Allen posting itt.

 

[teriyakiburns]

The conversation isn't about Calais, it's about Rwanda. I already said it was cheaper. You're changing the topic because you can't win on the original one. It being slightly harder doesn't mean it stops them, so it isn't a meaningful barrier - smugglers can smuggle through airports

Smugglers don't take people by plane for the same reason they don't just book them cabins on the ferry; individual costs are too high and security checks guarantee they'll be caught. They don't create false passports or identity documents for their marks because it's too expensive. Their entire system is only profitable when cheaply moving masses of people through back-channels and across porous borders, sneaking them into cargo transport if necessary, and doing everything possible to avoid any interaction with the authorities until they're in a position to dump their cargo somewhere they can be used to earn money (or just dump them in the ocean, since they have their money already). Having to arrange flights for every single one of their cargo would be prohibitively costly, but also easily traceable. They'd be locked up before the first flight landed. The only illegals who come through official ports of entry are self-funded and don't use people smugglers.

This is why sending them to France (while welcoming in a replacement, don't forget) isn't a meaningful barrier and is, as demonstrated, no deterrent, whereas dumping them in the middle of Africa is. There's no overland route from Rwanda to Europe that doesn't involve crossing a huge mass of African wilderness and at least one war zone. Flying them would be prohibitively expensive and is blocked by security measures. Operating their own aircraft to try and get around the border controls would be even more expensive and easily traceable, given the paperwork involved. Once they're in Rwanda, they're trapped. That's what a meaningful barrier means.

The rwanda scheme was by no means perfect (numbers were too small for one thing), and was in many ways set up to fail by the tories, who wanted immigration to increase for financial and economic reasons, but its announcement saw an immediate reduction in illegal immigration. People didn't want to end up stuck in the middle of a jungle with no way back. Immigration ramped back up once it became clear it was being sabotaged by useful idiots.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

I'll draw a line under it - there will be no more Allen posting itt.

I mean the site does say

No advertisements. Do not help viral marketing campaigns. Avoid posting articles that are just ads. This applies to basically everything about OnlyFans.

And I can't think of anything closer to a fucking onlyfans whore in the mainstream than that vapid bitch.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Why are there so many articles on the BBC about Lily Allen and her new album? Who cares about Lily Allen? Is she paying for these blatant adverts?

She's a nepobaby of two people in the entertainment industry who curated an image of working class povvy chic while releasing her first album about dull suburban life that can only be achieved by being a single mum on benefits or a middle class posho.

Her entire IMAGE is based on blatant advertising and it's funny as hell how she's trying to get on the early 00s nostalgia kick by trying to kicking up a fuss about where she's been (nobody cares) and releasing a tell-all book, which is incredibly funny because you'd assume a musician doing a comeback would have an album prepared of material they've been working on, not some shitty ghost written book.

Like the Victoria Beckham shit recently, it's obvious there's a brand of people who have clocked that giving netflix a bit of dosh will result in them creating a PR piece for content.

But once again, I'd like to point out that voting for me as your next dictator will result in these nepobabies being put in wicker men and burned alive as light entertainment in between migrant hangings.