UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[A-Logato]

I have so fucking many stories about the busses, half the time it's not even rage inducing it's just fucking baffling. In the same way that a child stealing all your spices to make 'cocaine' isn't infuriating, it's just fucking dumb. I can't even be mad because they are too retarded to do anything other than laugh at them. But they're all so fucking retarded I refuse to believe that they could have happened to anyone else in the country and I don't want to dox myself through extremely specific nogantics.

A lot of the same here. When I used to catch a bus for work it would be fine up until a certain point and then all of the foreigners start getting on and the mood shifts heavily. We'd always get a few annoying teenage roadmen or the odd drunk but they would typically sit at the top of the bus at the back so they were easy enough to avoid/ignore, the wogs, jeets and pakis were a different story.

Besides the fact a ton of them would get on the bus all at once, they would sit all over the place so you couldn't avoid them and the place would turn into a literal tower of babel with all of the different languages as they chat to one another or face time on their phones. The worst part (besides the noise) was the smell. The place would start to reek with what ever products or lack there of they were using or it would just smell like shit for the next 30 minutes as it all mixed together and gassed out everyone on the bus. Never mind the occasions where I saw fights break out, they would start taking drugs, etc (their shit music on cheap speakers didn't help either).

The funny part is after we left this area, zen would return and the bus would become usable again. These issues really do all stem from select areas brining everything else down with them.

 

[Made In Wales]

Nigel's vote didn't get the backing, this is now an admission from Starmer and co. that they are complicit in war against the people.

'The Party of Putin' - yet I bet there's a shed-load of Russian money propping up LibLabCon.

Toddler Politicians really cannot stand being told the 'N' word (by which I mean 'No').

 

[soulless guarantee]

I dunno, I kinda support giving the Ethiopian £500. Preferably in cash. Maybe before his flight lands, we could helpfully airdrop leaflets over say a 10 mile radius of the airport, with his photo and flight details so that the local crowd would know where to go to celebrate the homecoming hero who has a year's salary on him.

 

[Sensitive Young Man]

I seriously pity you limey bastards

 

[FedPostalService]

Look at the neutral wording.
A dog walker has died in a stabbing
He was just walking, and he walked right into a stabbing, silly thing, like one might walk Into a puddle. It’s just there, the stabbing. Nobody specific was doing it. We have stabbing lying around like leaves you know.
Let us re write;
Hero dog walker killed as he tries to stop illegal Afghan immigrant from stabbing 14 year old child and his father
There, that’s better. ALWAYS point this sort of language out to people when this stuff happens. I’ve done this countless times and always, they come back after a while and say ‘look at this headline, that’s just what you were on about wasn’t it? It’s all over, I see it all the time, I was pointing it out to our Brian…’
Another man who has care for his community and brave enough to walk into danger to save a child has been slaughtered by a murderous illegal imported by our government.
NOW - if any journalist had any balls at all they would be asking who he was and whether he was one if the ones the government brought here secretly. Possibly not if he arrived in a lorry, but the question should be asked loudly to link the two things in rhe mind if the public.
If you gave me the levers the Behavioural insights boys have, I could have the British public in drill formation with torches within six weeks.

Hit me with the retard stickers but I don't see a problem with this neutral tone if used consistently. News should boring and factual. A dog walker has died in a stabbing is perfectly fine if it is followed by facts in a neutral tone too. It's when they hide facts I take a massive issue, but once they start trying to make me feel an emotion it has gone from news to propaganda.

So, in my eyes Hero dog walker killed as he tries to stop illegal Afghan immigrant from stabbing 14 year old child and his father is just as bad or if not worse that the using the neutral tone and omitting the race and/or why the perpetrator did it.

 

[Otterly]

have pulled every lever to deport Mr Kebatu and remove him off British soil.

Lammy should be strapped Into one of those little rat experiments where they shove electrodes I to their brains and make the lever give them a cocaine high or whatever, so that he presses that lever with his little paws again and again and again and again and again…
The rats generally die rather than leave the lever to get food. Which is sad for the rats, but I dont feel we need such ethical standards for politicians.

News should boring and factual

In an ideal world .
And yet … 2+2=5.
They’re lying, we know they’re lying, they know we know they’re lying…. And they’re still lying. The news is weaponised propaganda, and as such one should inculcate countermeasures in one’s own

 

[Clem Fandango]

Hit me with the retard stickers but I don't see a problem with this neutral tone if used consistently. News should boring and factual. A dog walker has died in a stabbing is perfectly fine if it is followed by facts in a neutral tone too. It's when they hide facts I take a massive issue, but once they start trying to make me feel an emotion it has gone from news to propaganda.

The Tor browser on my phone only lets me give "like" stickers, so I'm afraid no sticker for you. I get what you're saying, but some news stories, like this one, probably should make you feel an emotion. They don't need to call him a hero, but "dog walker" is surely not the relevant term here. Do you not think something is odd about that staging of events?

What if they called him "man wearing hat"? Sure, boring and factual. Or what about "Pisces who skipped breakfast"? That might be true as well. How it's presented on the BBC is as much propoganda as calling him a hero. As Otterly says, it's a headline that attempts to gloss over reality.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

they would start taking drugs

Honestly the amount of times I have seen brazen drug use on the busses. Like if I was a policeman and I gave every single weed smoker I saw the minimum fine that they have now then I could definitely pay for bus tickets for the rest of my life, probably even buy one of the busses second hand at this point. The amount of times that they will be obviously rolling joints in public and will just get on the bus and not even stop for a second is just like the fuck are you doing? I can't have a fag in the pub at all anymore, even if I'm outside oh no the second hand smoke bla bla bla but niggers can smoke weed in a bus that will 100% have at least one person who has a weak respiratory system either from being super young or old. Also big fluffy dogs not only act as a sponge for water but for smoke smells too, never had to deal with her stink of weed before but considering how easily she overwhelms rooms with bonfire smell I wouldn't want to try.

I used to kinda agree with hippies, I don't really think that weed and shrooms or acid is some massive crime that deserves imprisonment, then I once again look at america and just like medical suicide I go yea ok maybe in theory it works but nah. And then I look at the people who would be most affected and it's like fucking hell give me Singaporean drug laws.

How it's presented on the BBC is as much propoganda as calling him a hero

In all fairness, the 'The Home Office confirmed the suspect entered the UK in a lorry in November 2020, was granted asylum and leave to remain in 2022, and does not live in Home Office accommodation.' part is literally the fourth line of the article. The bbc is a propagandist shithole, however this isn't the worst. Yea ok some of the headlines they use are retarded and they keep fucking changing it but it's far from the worst article.

 

[Elysian]

The rats generally die rather than leave the lever to get food.

I heard that this is only true if the rats are all alone in a barren cage with nothing better to do, and if you give them toys to play with and other rats to socialise with then they actively choose not to do the drugs.

I seriously pity you limey bastards

My sister was talking about this UK legal self defence spray she’d found that was basically just dye that you spray the guy with so he can be identified after the fact and I was like that’s going to do fuck all. Spraying scented body spray into their eyes would probably be a better pepper spray substitute.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Or what about "Pisces who skipped breakfast"?

But he did eat breakfast!

 

[Clem Fandango]

But he did eat breakfast!

Not this again...

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

I heard that this is only true if the rats are all alone in a barren cage with nothing better to do, and if you give them toys to play with and other rats to socialise with then they actively choose not to do the drugs.


My sister was talking about this UK legal self defence spray she’d found that was basically just dye that you spray the guy with so he can be identified after the fact and I was like that’s going to do fuck all. Spraying scented body spray into their eyes would probably be a better pepper spray substitute.

I have heard that many women who find themselves in public places at night where there may be threatening "men", also suffer from muscle pain that would benefit from Deep Heat spray. Just saying.

 

[teriyakiburns]

But he did eat breakfast!

If he went to Greggs he could have eaten a bacon breakfast roll by now.

 

[BongoMongo]

I have heard that many women who find themselves in public places at night where there may be threatening "men", also suffer from muscle pain that would benefit from Deep Heat spray. Just saying.

Nivea used to do an excellent tiny sized anti perspirant that stung like actual fuckery if it got in your eyes.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

If he went to Greggs he could have eaten a bacon breakfast roll by now.

A bacon breakfast roll? For the afghan? That'd probably hurt him more than deep heat in the eyes would.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Lammy should be strapped Into one of those little rat experiments where they shove electrodes I to their brains

Lammy? Brain?

 

[FedPostalService]

Or what about "Pisces who skipped breakfast"?

But I had breakfast this morning?

Edit: I was ninja’d on that joke.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Kebatu arrived in the UK after crossing the Channel on a small boat on 29 June, having travelled through Sudan, Libya, Italy and France.

So he travelled through four safe countries where he could’ve stopped and attempted to make a go of life while waiting to be able to go home again (assuming he’s had to leave due to upheaval). That’s not a refugee or an asylum seeker, that’s a welfare tourist.

Fucker should’ve been booted back to Ethiopia immediately - like, within 24 hours. Not given a cushty hotel room with food laid on and NHS care.

Kebatu arrived in Ethiopia's capital Addis Ababa early on Wednesday and was briefly held by officers at the airport, Ethiopian police told the BBC.

He was then released because there was "no legal basis for his continued detention", Ethiopian Federal Police spokesman Jaylan Abde said.

Sexually assaulted a woman and a child - Ethiopian police say “no problem here!” and away he walks to do it all again at will.

You know he’ll be back in the U.K. in a few weeks. Nailed on.

I have heard that many women who find themselves in public places at night where there may be threatening "men", also suffer from muscle pain that would benefit from Deep Heat spray. Just saying.

That stuff’s terribly flammable. You really need to be careful, especially if you’re trying to light a cigarette while spraying the Deep Heat.

Perhaps it’s just our erstwhile guests on the bus where I live, but they always seem to have at least three mobile phones too. I struggle to afford one.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

But I had breakfast this morning?

Everyone says this but like even the 'correct' answer is retarded. I didn't have breakfast this morning and I don't feel hungry anyway you fucking fatties.

I struggle to afford one.

The difference being that you have to afford it. They don't. The government does. So I guess in a way you can afford one, several actually, you just don't get to use them.

 

[Just a boring name]

I agree with the Deep Heat discussion. My daughters take part in Judo classes, so often carry a small can of it in their bag to help sore muscles...even if it isn't a Judo day, you never know when you're going to start with DOMS.

My MMA instructor has also taught me a few handy ways to defend myself using my white cane if needed. Hopefully I will never need to use them, but, better to be safe than sorry. There's no worse kick to the ego for a mugger than being pasted by a short, fat, blind woman!