UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

This was the fake crowd cheering at the Olympics.

I love how the second someone starts speaking the noise instantly dies. Literally just from 100% to 0% in a frame. You know like real crowds do?

 

[Botchy Galoop]

The sad fact is that commercial Turkey is like many of the commercially raised domesticated sources of protein: bland tasting and so far removed from it's genetic origin that it can barely be called food.

The wild turkey is a wonderfully flavored meat, and you'll not find a cannier bird to hunt than the noble Meleagris Gallopavo. The native N.A. bird was hunted to near extinction, but is now found in 49 states. In fact, around my area, they are almost a pest.

By the by, that old pervert Ben Franklin did not propose the wild turkey to be the national bird over the eagle. That is an oft repeated myth. He merely commented that the eagle was of "bad moral character" that steals food from other birds. (In that, it seems that the bald eagle is quite a good representative for the U.S.)

Now kindly, I'll hear no more disparagement regarding American cuisine. (jellied eels and boiled mutton. just sayin')

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Now kindly, I'll hear no more disparagement regarding American cuisine. (jellied eels and boiled mutton. just sayin')

Dem bri'ish people, dey don' seezun dey food!

You people think that cheap seafood boiled in a mixture of sunny D and barbecue rub, served in a plastic bag is good eating.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

You people think that cheap seafood boiled in a mixture of sunny D and barbecue rub, served in a plastic bag is good eating.

Don't forget the cup of sugar in your sketty. And you certainly can't forget your dried garlic and onion powders while you complain that using real garlic and onion means you don't season things. I mean we simply must listen to the food opinions of the country that created mcdonalds. Most american food is just what you would get if you left a teenager home alone for a week and they had no access to the internet or recipe books.

Even if commercial turkey was somehow different to commercial chicken in quality it still doesn't change the fact that it is absolutely mid and entirely ahistorical for English traditions. Doesn't matter what the 'proper' wild turkey tastes like because this is the fucking English thread, we do not have those. Yes something of a higher quality would taste nicer but it does not exist in this country. The tesco value steaks taste worse than a5 wagyu but there's fuck all you can do about it unless you want to spend £500 on a plane ticket.

Fr though fuck niggers eating cornstarch and their cheese slathered broccoli loving stegosaurus hating ways. Real men want chinks eating fruit. My favourite video genre. I like the ones where they get really excited or they have really over the top chinese opera music playing while they just harvest some berries or something.

 

[Snekposter]

Don't forget the cup of sugar in your sketty. And you certainly can't forget your dried garlic and onion powders while you complain that using real garlic and onion means you don't season things. I mean we simply must listen to the food opinions of the country that created mcdonalds. Most american food is just what you would get if you left a teenager home alone for a week and they had no access to the internet or recipe books.

Even if commercial turkey was somehow different to commercial chicken in quality it still doesn't change the fact that it is absolutely mid and entirely ahistorical for English traditions. Doesn't matter what the 'proper' wild turkey tastes like because this is the fucking English thread, we do not have those. Yes something of a higher quality would taste nicer but it does not exist in this country. The tesco value steaks taste worse than a5 wagyu but there's fuck all you can do about it unless you want to spend £500 on a plane ticket.

Fr though fuck niggers eating cornstarch and their cheese slathered broccoli loving stegosaurus hating ways. Real men want chinks eating fruit. My favourite video genre. I like the ones where they get really excited or they have really over the top chinese opera music playing while they just harvest some berries or something.

364926811_1221269818560704_3614177894609206203_n - Copy (2).mp4

Fuck off. One of my favorite meals is a tri-tip roast that's got a nice thick rosemary and black pepper rub over the outside and whole garlic cloves stuck inside to flavor it from the inside as it cooks.

As for turkey, slow cook it over an outdoor grill using an electric rotisserie and a low flame. Whole thing gets perfectly basted and evenly cooked.

Oh wait, its too fucking cold in the UK to do anything outdoors at turkey time. Sucks to be you, I guess.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

One of my favorite meals is a tri-tip roast that's got a nice thick rosemary and black pepper rub over the outside and whole garlic cloves stuck inside to flavor it from the inside as it cooks.

'my favourite american meal is a cut of beef covered in mediterranian and asian herbs and spices'? Your favourite 'american' food is just eating cows like Europe has for literally millennia? English food is actually bad and american food is better that's why my favourite dish was something that the English have been eating for longer than america existed? Yas saaar india has the many of good foods my favourite it is being the bread upon the butter saar.

 

[Snekposter]

'my favourite american meal is a cut of beef covered in mediterranian and asian herbs and spices'? Your favourite 'american' food is just eating cows like Europe has for literally millennia? English food is actually bad and american food is better that's why my favourite dish was something that the English have been eating for longer than america existed? Yas saaar india has the many of good foods my favourite it is being the bread upon the butter saar.

I'm sorry, am I eating slop, or proper cuisine then? Make up your mind.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Sirs, this is a greggs.

 

[FedPostalService]

Sirs, this is a greggs.

Almost time for the Festive Bake! That is turkey at its peak.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

I'm sorry, am I eating slop, or proper cuisine then? Make up your mind.

Good food. Because it's not even remotely american. Literally just fucking swap the beef for bison and you might have a point of an actual american dish instead of just the same shit that Europeans have been eating since forever. The only good 'american' food is fried chicken and even then it's nowhere near as good as the Koreans.

Sirs, this is a greggs.

And despite being mid for a sausage roll at least the greggs is English.

 

[Snekposter]

Good food. Because it's not even remotely american. Literally just fucking swap the beef for bison and you might have a point of an actual american dish instead of just the same shit that Europeans have been eating since forever. The only good 'american' food is fried chicken and even then it's nowhere near as good as the Koreans.

Okay, well, I guess if our culture is just that shitty that nothing we do pleases you you can deal with the Euros yourselves then, no more special relationship since we'd hate to offend you with our presence.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Okay, well, I guess if our culture is just that shitty that nothing we do pleases you you can deal with the Euros yourselves then, no more special relationship since we'd hate to offend you with our presence.

Ok then, off you fuck, you can collect your nigger-worship at the door

 

[Snekposter]

Ok then, off you fuck, you can collect your nigger-worship at the door

Cool, when are you guys picking up your Muzzie worship then?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Cool, when are you guys picking up your Muzzie worship then?

We all fucking hate the islamikazis, your entire culture is based around worshipping blacks and has, unfortunately, infected the rest of the English speaking world. It's a tragedy the redskins didn't do for every last one of you.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Okay, well, I guess if our culture is just that shitty that nothing we do pleases you you can deal with the Euros yourselves then, no more special relationship since we'd hate to offend you with our presence.

Oh no whatever will we do without consoomerism and nigger worship? How will I live without my paedowood goyslop films and ruined highstreet? America does not have a culture anymore, used to, now it just has products to consume and ads to watch. American food is fucking somehow less american than indian food is indian.

Oh yea also speaking of american culture remember all those classic English tv shows that got remade in america and went from genuine 10/10s to mid slop? Namely Inbetweeners as the biggest example.

 

[Snekposter]

We all fucking hate the islamikazis, your entire culture is based around worshipping blacks and has, unfortunately, infected the rest of the English speaking world. It's a tragedy the redskins didn't do for every last one of you.

Sure buddy, let me know when Charles III, Defender of the Faith, finally comes out into the open about his conversion to Islam.

Oh no whatever will we do without consoomerism and nigger worship? How will I live without my paedowood goyslop films and ruined highstreet? America does not have a culture anymore, used to, now it just has products to consume and ads to watch. American food is fucking somehow less american than indian food is indian.

Oh yea also speaking of american culture remember all those classic English tv shows that got remade in america and went from genuine 10/10s to mid slop? Namely Inbetweeners as the biggest example.

Have you guys tried to returning to tradition and ruled the waves lately? I know it might be tough to find the money for that considering you need to keep funding Abdul and Mohammed and their three child brides each, and apologizing to them when your native daughters aren't quite tight enough for their liking, but I'm sure you can try.

Seriously, is this shit really a game you want to play? Neither of our cultures is as good and clean as we'd like, and trying to expiate yourself of your sins by dumping them all on the USA as you sob into your stargazy pies about how you used to have an empire as the fish scream noiselessly in agony as even death fails to issue release from their torment isn't a good look for either you or us.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Abdul and Mohammed and their three child brides each

The current sentiment in England is fucking deport all of these niggers without question. You will never have that. The niggers in america are as american as you are. Yea our tax money goes to inbred pakis, yours goes to inbred niggers and israel. Rule Britannia is good and all but half of your military is in israel and the other half you retards handed to the fucking taliban. We'll return to tradition of naval superiority when you return to tradition in being able to ride a horse without it's back breaking from the weight.

 

[Snekposter]

The current sentiment in England is fucking deport all of these niggers without question.

Go ahead, build the trebuchets then. I'm waiting. And after Mohammed has been chucked back across the Channel, do something about the descendants of the Windrush guys. You know, your own imported niggers so many people there worship.

Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here laughing as ICE deports yet another stage-four cancer patient back to his shithole of origin with free plane tickers for his anchor wife and anchor babies, and a drug trafficker gets a free Viking funeral while he's still alive via Hellfire. We're a very generous nation, after all, even to our enemies.

 

[pot of sneed]

I wish the yanks would fuck off out of this thread. It's British news, not yankflailing "we-better-than-you!" borefests.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here laughing as ICE deports yet another stage-four cancer patient back to his shithole of origin with free plane tickers for his anchor wife and anchor babies, and a drug trafficker gets a free Viking funeral while he's still alive via Hellfire. We're a very generous nation, after all, even to our enemies.

There have been no significant anti anti immigration protests in England at all. There have been massive anti ice protests in america. There are people fucking shooting at them and executing people who agree with them. Not even the muslims here do that let alone the whites. But I'm sure the space that some spic freed up will gladly be filled by even more jeets.

I wish the yanks would fuck off out of this thread. It's British news, not yankflailing "we-better-than-you!" borefests.

Opens British thread
Is surprised to see British people who care about Britain
Truly the beauty of that average american education on display.