UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Crunkle]

Lucy Connelly is speaking at Reform's conference today.

At least 600 migrants are expected to arrive on our shores today, this comes after a French warship was seen escorting boats of the invaders over the Channel.

 

[Just a boring name]

Barry Chuckle has been dead exactly 7 years and 1 month.

I am still not over it. How can you say "To me" and "To you" without one of them?

I'm still struggling to comprehend that of all the Children's TV presenters that have been found out to be Wrong 'Uns, the two blokes who look MOST likely to be diddling the nation's kids, were squeaky clean.
(Of course I'm willing to detract this statement if it ever comes out that they were paedo's, too)

 

[Crunkle]

I'm still struggling to comprehend that of all the Children's TV presenters that have been found out to be Wrong 'Uns, the two blokes who look MOST likely to be diddling the nation's kids, were squeaky clean.
(Of course I'm willing to detract this statement if it ever comes out that they were paedo's, too)

If Neil Buchanan from Art Attack turns out to be a wrong'un, I'll be fucking livid.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

If Neil Buchanan from Art Attack turns out to be a wrong'un, I'll be fucking livid.

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Where do you think he got all those clothes from to do his big art projects on playgrounds?

 

[Muad'Dick]

I'm stepping in before this gets dark.

One of the Fun House twins now works behind the bar in a 'Spoons

 

[Crispy Jakes]

If Neil Buchanan from Art Attack turns out to be a wrong'un, I'll be fucking livid.

He's alright, he got his signed Farage shirt.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I'm stepping in before this gets dark.

One of the Fun House twins now works behind the bar in a 'Spoons

Still would mate. Her and her sister at the same time. Bet the cheerleader outfits still fit

 

[Muad'Dick]

Still would mate. Her and her sister at the same time. Bet the cheerleader outfits still fit

Aye. Right in the gunge pit.

 

[Made In Wales]

Kids TV presenters who are 'diddlers'

Hmm... more than a few names of both sexes spring to mind.

As Abdul the Diversity Hire at GCHQ is trying to hack the 'Farms, when not pooing in the corridor, I'll not mention names openly.

Incidentally, the Grant twins' first credit for acting was in Monty Python's 'The Meaning Of Life' as one of many children of Michael Palin...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk&ab_channel=MontyPython

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Kids TV presenters who are 'diddlers'

Hmm... more than a few names of both sexes spring to mind.

"Did they work for the BBC?" and you have a 99.32% accuracy rate on if they're diddlers. The chuckles are the 0.68% that aren't.

 

[Amin Yasister]

 

[Made In Wales]

"Did they work for the BBC?" and you have a 99.32% accuracy rate on if they're diddlers. The chuckles are the 0.68% that aren't.

The Chuckle Brothers definitely aren't on the list, great guys and nobody has a bad word to say about them.

Most of the ones I have heard of either do or have worked for the BBC, a few haven't done any BBC work as far as I am aware.

 

[Chandiler Savant]

Lucy Connolly to speak at the Reform conference at 3pm.
What happened to Rupert Lowe taking her to parliament? I know Farage could not take her to the US conference due to restrictions on her travel.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

CIVNAT VOLTRON ASSEMBLE!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_x6MI-4YCFU
It looks like r tommeh is putting together the very, very best for his marching powder fundraising event protest march on the 13th.

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I don't know about you, but I can't wait!

I'll take Sikhs over the other two all day long to be honest with you.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

The Chuckle Brothers definitely aren't on the list, great guys and nobody has a bad word to say about them.

Most of the ones I have heard of either do or have worked for the BBC, a few haven't done any BBC work as far as I am aware.

The hilarious part is they were reporting people to the bosses at the BBC and nothing was done about it.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

The hilarious part is they were reporting people to the bosses at the BBC and nothing was done about it.

Us and our dark comedies. Am I right lads? I said AM I RIGHT LADS? Don't make a joke about a haunted pussy or you get fired. Abuse a few thousand kids and you're getting the 7pm top slot from now on.

I'll take Sikhs over the other two all day long to be honest with you.

D-. None of the above was the correct answer.

 

[FedPostalService]

Lucy Connolly to speak at the Reform conference at 3pm.
What happened to Rupert Lowe taking her to parliament? I know Farage could not take her to the US conference due to restrictions on her travel.

Is her husband still a Tory councillor? I’d have defected to Reform if my party let my wife be thrown to the fucking wolves.

 

[DreinMeinVein]

Once you go black you don’t go back.

"Thinking of my pale white skin. Thinking of her, dark and smooth, she against me."

I'm finding it quite lol that Labour's so very keen to promote that they have the first ever blacky as 2nd in command. Wow.
They also want us to know they have three chicks holding the other most important roles (except for PM, obvs). It's their best ever.

It just reminds us of the fact that the Tory party has had three birds as PM, the first non-White PM and a Black lady as the current leader of the opposition. This has happened even though Labour is much more DEI than any Tory.

This is obviously because Labour likes to use all women shortlists and chooses minority candidates for the optics, whereas grown-up parties run as a meritocracy. Tory MPs have risen through the ranks on merit; Labour will promote any old slag, just because she's got a fanny between her legs. Rayner, for example, and Rachel from accounts. And that Lammy twat.

No woman hate, but an all woman shortlist leads to a non-zero chance that you're excluding the best person for the MP job. That's the Labour party's play. It may be why Conservatives have historically given us all the female leaders. Labour haven't.

Here's an excellent song about bumming a girl with dark skin (not Kemi)...
https://youtu.be/cK0RNdKe8YI?si=H4wYtOC3o0HGkkA3

"Do you wanna come on in? Do you eat some? Meet my... family...?"
(And then, readers, I married an attractive blonde.)

 

[femboy fart huffer]

What do you mean Reform isn't a serious party?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=E4W7BpwOoL0

If he got up on a podium and said that he was going to use his swaz tekkers to give the pack keys the boot on national news I would fucking suck his cock holy shit that is beautiful. Say what you fucking will about the man but the fact that there is an incredibly high chance our next pm will be quotable as saying big chungus bussy makes me want to commit voter fraud so I can vote for him twice.

£87 is £87 right?

Fucking Christ. £87? I've been saying that for decades I should be a millionaire by now. I don't really care if he says dumb shit on cameo. Best I've laughed in a while. The reality of politics in this country is if you want a conservative party you're fucked. You either vote greens or scribble all over the card in protest. He might be a grifting faggot but he's the closest thing to an actual conservative party we have.

Spice (artificial cannabis)

Spice is worse than weed. By far. It's an artificial cannibanoid not really artificial cannabis. Same rough method of effect as weed but far from even trying to be artificial weed. It's artificial weed in the same way that fent is artificial poppy resin.

I’m not quoting all of that but I’d love to break a rule and smoke some skunk with you.

In an earlier life I worked it out that the rain water thing would only produce the same per year as a few 400w panels (£60 each) produce per day. I agree on water solar. (And if bored I’d still do the rain water thing solely for offgrid lighting)

Honestly I'd go for a pint with half the people in this thread.

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The Official Thread Tipple is Farage Gin ("The Taste of Brexit™"), specifically from a GBNews Farage Talking Pints glass.

Can't afford none of that fancy shit up here. Real men just get a carton of whatever apple orange whatever fruit juice, drink half of it and fill it back up with bombay at most. Throw a couple spoons of sugar in if you can be fucked to deal with how finnicky it is, or simple syrup if you're a posh faggot. Easy to mix because it's got a fucking cap on and no dishes to wash up. Just down it and throw the empty carton in the nearest bush like a man. Or if you grew up with your grandparents more than your actual parents then you do straight absinthe.

Reform needs to get Enoch Powell onboard.

I know that rather ironically there's a diverse array of x nationalist movements at the moment but what the fuck is eunuch power? Are they the fighting against Jews doing a cui? Or is that the transgender party?

Neoliberalism at it's most predictable result.

Yea yea cool some voodoo shit, drink the jenkonmo and all that. We already know how to deal with that though, doesn't every castle and reenactment place have a 16 pounder? Can we stop to appreciate the irony here though, casting a voodoo chant in English. Your culture has been so well and truly raped that you cannot even speak your own language. I think at one point she says she wishes her children were brought back to their brothers which hey I'm sure we can arrange a flight back for you. How do we think that a self defence claim would go there? I'd assume that it wouldn't hold up but sitting in someone's drive telling them that they will die sounds like a serious and actionable threat to me and all I'm saying is if I was on jury duty for that case I'd let him off.

I wonder why a self admitted jew sikh or hindu would want to name the account robert segal? I'm sure that that account is definitely not used in astroturfing.

Lucy Connelly is speaking at Reform's conference today.

At least 600 migrants are expected to arrive on our shores today, this comes after a French warship was seen escorting boats of the invaders over the Channel.

View attachment 7877199View attachment 7877208

View attachment 7877215

The french navy importing foreign hostile invaders in to the country? Something something rule fucking Britannia. Send for the fucking powder monkey I'm getting the cannons.

 

[Otterly]

If I was Lucy Connolly, I would be wearing a guy Fawkes T shirt.
I’m glad she’s out anyway.