UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

University of Huddersfield

When did that spring into existence? Never heard of the place.

 

[Overly Serious]

You employ people like Adrian Harrop.

It's probably changed but last I heard Harrop was some junior twazzok somewhere without much actual reputation within his field. NHS is pretty good, actually. That's not to say the way it's become a national religion isn't creepy as Hell. It's main problems are at the top. Remember how many billions they spent on crappy IT interconnected systems for example? For what was basically a substandard VPN, a barely functional website and an underperforming database with shit security controls?

Depends on the trust. The real issue with the NHS are the bureaucrats. You don't need an army of admin and managers, you need fucking matrons back.

Spoiler

Oooh, Matron!

When did that spring into existence? Never heard of the place.

Used to be one of the Polytechnics. Turned into a University during that wave of such re-brandings during the 90's when the old Tories allowed them all to upgrade their status. There was a student there who was the first person to be diagnosed with scurvy in the UK for decades because he tried to live entirely off Rice Krispies.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Spoiler

Oooh, Matron!

Spoiler

[KENNETH WILLIAMS INTENSIFIES]

Used to be one of the Polytechnics. Turned into a University during that wave of such re-brandings during the 90's when the old Tories allowed them all to upgrade their status. There was a student there who was the first person to be diagnosed with scurvy in the UK for decades because he tried to live entirely off Rice Krispies.

That was a mistake. And then that leather-faced dictator-fellator Tony Blair encouraged 50% of people to go to "uni" to massage the youth unemployment figures.

If I ever have offspring I'll only pay for them to go to university if it's to do something worthwhile and at a proper red-brick or above place, or somewhere that is generally known for specialising in it. If they want to do Social Media Influencing or Gender Studies, they can get a job and pay for it themselves.

In other news, #ClapForCarers is becoming increasingly cult-like. In Stevenage, a 90-year-old with dementia was given a poison pen note for not clapping for the NHS workers who cared for his terminally ill wife. While in Nottingham, a single mother was subjected to a digital skimmington for not clapping and thus "showing the street up."

 

[CWCissey]

[KENNETH WILLIAMS INTENSIFIES]



That was a mistake. And then that leather-faced dictator-fellator Tony Blair encouraged 50% of people to go to "uni" to massage the youth unemployment figures.

If I ever have offspring I'll only pay for them to go to university if it's to do something worthwhile and at a proper red-brick or above place, or somewhere that is generally known for specialising in it. If they want to do Social Media Influencing or Gender Studies, they can get a job and pay for it themselves.

In other news, #ClapForCarers is becoming increasingly cult-like. In Stevenage, a 90-year-old with dementia was given a poison pen note for not clapping for the NHS workers who cared for his terminally ill wife. While in Nottingham, a single mother was subjected to a digital skimmington for not clapping and thus "showing the street up."

Yet at a Manchester ASDA this week, the shopworkers tried to get the queue outside clapping, only to be met with stony faced silence and one bloke saying 'I'm a key worker, I'm working on the railways every day keeping them running, where's my clap?' to many murmurs of agreement.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Yet at a Manchester ASDA this week, the shopworkers tried to get the queue outside clapping, only to be met with stony faced silence and one bloke saying 'I'm a key worker, I'm working on the railways every day keeping them running, where's my clap?' to many murmurs of agreement.

Inb4 some wit came out with, "on the end of your cock from where you fucked your mother."

 

[Trig.Point]

Yet at a Manchester ASDA this week, the shopworkers tried to get the queue outside clapping, only to be met with stony faced silence and one bloke saying 'I'm a key worker, I'm working on the railways every day keeping them running, where's my clap?' to many murmurs of agreement.

The clap for the NHS is already causing a backlash, it was fine to do it once, but to keep it going week after week seemed designed to provoke people who don't have the job security the typical NHS worker has. With (supposedly) routine treatments cancelled, the actual numbers of patients has plumeted. The purpose of the lockdown was to stop the NHS getting overwhelmened... with the number of well produced Tik Tok videos coming out of our nations hospitals, I think they seem to be coping.

A year from now when people start to realise that more people have died from lack of 'routine' medical care people are going to be far less sympathetic to the NHS.

Also the NHS might have to start answering questions about their own lack of preparedness... they may not be able to pin everything on Boris Johnson.

 

[Champion The Wonder Horse]

I've been going into work 2 or 3 days a week as I am a key worker (in a very non-obvious industry), frankly the last thing I want when I get home is the daft mare from next door twatting a saucepan with a wooden spoon and screeching about how stunning and brave the Tik-Tok dance troupe are.
If they could stop wearing the PPE that is supposed to be like hens teeth in their performances, that would be lovely as well.

 

[Bender]

I've been going into work 2 or 3 days a week as I am a key worker (in a very non-obvious industry), frankly the last thing I want when I get home is the daft mare from next door twatting a saucepan with a wooden spoon and screeching about how stunning and brave the Tik-Tok dance troupe are.
If they could stop wearing the PPE that is supposed to be like hens teeth in their performances, that would be lovely as well.

The clapping and cheering was fine, the fireworks were stupid because it's fucking daylight and you can't see them, the pots and wooden spoons were just annoying but NOW they're just sitting in their car beeping their horns at random intervals for five minutes. I wonder how many NHS staff working night shifts they've woken up because they think being obnoxiously loud is the best way to show support.

 

[El Gordo Ramsay Sex Dwarf]

If you think saucepans are bad, the mentals on my street spin up a WW2 hand operated air raid siren every Thursday for this.

 

[Slimy Time]

The clap for the NHS is already causing a backlash, it was fine to do it once, but to keep it going week after week seemed designed to provoke people who don't have the job security the typical NHS worker has. With (supposedly) routine treatments cancelled, the actual numbers of patients has plumeted. The purpose of the lockdown was to stop the NHS getting overwhelmened... with the number of well produced Tik Tok videos coming out of our nations hospitals, I think they seem to be coping.

A year from now when people start to realise that more people have died from lack of 'routine' medical care people are going to be far less sympathetic to the NHS.

Also the NHS might have to start answering questions about their own lack of preparedness... they may not be able to pin everything on Boris Johnson.

It's just stupid. Where I reside atm (outside UK), people did this "clap for the doctors" once because they threatened to strike if the government didn't lock things down ASAP, which lead to them controlling the virus very well. They did it once and that was it.

The UK, it never fucking ends. I'm looking at the official death toll in the UK and I see these stupid Tiktok videos and political bullshit done by members of the NHS. WTF is there to clap about? I haven't seen an organisation being sucked off as much as the NHS has during this pandemic. And as others have pointed out, what about the other essential who keep things running? They don't get any recognition. Sky news today had someone on saying how they have to send 10s of thousands of test all the way to the US because the NHS Lab couldn't do it. It's pathetic.

 

[BeboRefugee]

I hate to say it, I hope I don't sound like a dick, but is the clapping for the NHS not symptomatic of a wider problem for British society? For decades there's been a push to discourage outdated, problematic displays of patriotism. This includes pretty much every outward show of patriotism you could think of. Even the commemorations for wars won are framed to be inclusive of the deaths on all sides. There's no way to sincerely convey VE Day as divisive when it's even celebrated in Germany.

So what do you do when there's a massive corona-shaped crisis and you need to bind the country together? Well one of the only institutions that the public are allowed to have any affection for is the NHS. The idea of the NHS is sound, but it doesn't even work as intended anymore. Clapping for a sub-par health service is really damning when you realise it's a band-aid over the absence of any positive national unity. I've not seen any of the chanting and impromptu community balcony singing that occurred sporadically in Italy and Spain many times. That's what community looks like. Anything outwardly British is now tactless. The only ones that haven't got the message are your football hooligans, and they are nearly there just so the middle classes have something to look at and be repulsed by.

Britain needs something, I don't know what, but Gogglebox and the NHS aren't enough to hold a country together.

 

[Slimy Time]

I hate to say it, I hope I don't sound like a dick, but is the clapping for the NHS not symptomatic of a wider problem for British society? For decades there's been a push to discourage outdated, problematic displays of patriotism. This includes pretty much every outward show of patriotism you could think of. Even the commemorations for wars won are framed to be inclusive of the deaths on all sides. There's no way to sincerely convey VE Day as divisive when it's even celebrated in Germany.

So what do you do when there's a massive corona-shaped crisis and you need to bind the country together? Well one of the only institutions that the public are allowed to have any affection for is the NHS. The idea of the NHS is sound, but it doesn't even work as intended anymore. Clapping for a sub-par health service is really damning when you realise it's a band-aid over the absence of any positive national unity. I've not seen any of the chanting and impromptu community balcony singing that occurred sporadically in Italy and Spain many times. That's what community looks like. Anything outwardly British is now tactless. The only ones that haven't got the message are your football hooligans, and they are nearly there just so the middle classes have something to look at and be repulsed by.

Britain needs something, I don't know what, but Gogglebox and the NHS aren't enough to hold a country together.

It's honestly quite pathetic imo. Is the NHS is some infallible institution that can do no wrong? The only workers worth giving any respect for are those who work in this bloated institution. No, it's sub-par, as you said, and like some stupid kid, you are being encouraged to clap along and praise it. Praise it for what, a sub-par job at handling this virus?

Boris and his crew are another one. They don't seem to know wtf to do. First it was the herd immunity method, then this now disgraced statistician convinces him to lock everything down. Then he's seen running around shaking hands with nurses who have been dealing with the virus, and he has the virus and is put in ICU, with everyone wondering if he's going to die. Meanwhile ministers have admitted today to needing to ship tens of thousands of tests to the US because the NHS doesn't have the capacity to test them. They have another top Cambrige statistician today admitting that they really have no fucking clue how many people are infected and only now is the government asking the Office for National Statistics to get a grip and find out.

Meanwhile, don't worry your head about all of that, just clap for the NHS for their brilliant work. Just embarrassing.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Britain needs something, I don't know what, but Gogglebox and the NHS aren't enough to hold a country together.

Well, there's Love Island...

Yeah, I see your point. What exactly do we have nowadays other than media-pushed worship of the State and consoomerism.

 

[Hoplixe]

Well, there's Love Island...

Yeah, I see your point. What exactly do we have nowadays other than media-pushed worship of the State and consoomerism.

The Media-pushed worship of diversity?
There are probably more black actors in Britain than there are Black (University) Students.

 

[Ahriman]

https://nypost.com/2020/05/09/miriam-margolyes-says-she-wanted-boris-johnson-to-die-of-coronavirus

Oof.

 

[Overly Serious]

View attachment 1285253

https://nypost.com/2020/05/09/miriam-margolyes-says-she-wanted-boris-johnson-to-die-of-coronavirus

Oof.

When they said "Harry Potter actress" I was thinking... Emma Watson? Maggie Smith? Katie Leung? But no - it's the walk on, three line Professor Sprout who appears briefly to advise on mandrake harvesting. Of course.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

View attachment 1285253

https://nypost.com/2020/05/09/miriam-margolyes-says-she-wanted-boris-johnson-to-die-of-coronavirus

Oof.

Why is this news? If they covered every time some “celebrity” wanted the prime minister gone it’s all we’d ever see.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

When they said "Harry Potter actress" I was thinking... Emma Watson? Maggie Smith? Katie Leung? But no - it's the walk on, three line Professor Sprout who appears briefly to advise on mandrake harvesting. Of course.

See, I think of her as Lady Whiteadder myself.

 

[Trig.Point]

Tik Tok is cancer but I just saw this on twitter and it's pretty funny... in the UK at least, there are some new faces who are making a name for themselves during the panic.

 

[Overly Serious]

See, I think of her as Lady Whiteadder myself.

Wicked child! "Lady" is a term for a woman, and women are reminders of sex!