UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
See spread happiness's other Tweets
Twitter Ads info and privacy


Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

View image on Twitter


pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
See pg often's other Tweets
Twitter Ads info and privacy


TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

battles to save his job

Job implies that he actually did work and did anything worthy of payment though. Can't wait for the 4th recent pm stepping down without the monarch instructing them to. Had a queen that should have just cut Boris off and told him to fuck off and all that lot. Got a king that should be doing that for keir right now too. But no doing the most basic fucking job is apparently too hard.

Stalker children.

If I stalked children I would be too busy throwing my hat in to be keirs replacement not sat on here.

 

[the rat]

implies that he actually did work

Being bummed by Ukrainian rent boys is a lot of hard work actually.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Being bummed by Ukrainian rent boys is a lot of hard work actually.

Speaking from experience?

 

[Made In Wales]

Job implies that he actually did work and did anything worthy of payment though. Can't wait for the 4th recent pm stepping down without the monarch instructing them to. Had a queen that should have just cut Boris off and told him to fuck off and all that lot. Got a king that should be doing that for keir right now too. But no doing the most basic fucking job is apparently too hard.

If I stalked children I would be too busy throwing my hat in to be keirs replacement not sat on here.

If you need an ID pic to stand as a Labour MP, use this one:



'My name is Karen Blobfish, pronouns are Yabba/DabbaDoo'

 

[the rat]

Speaking from experience?

Speaking from what your mum told me about what you do with your paki boyfriend.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Being bummed by Ukrainian rent boys is a lot of hard work actually.

I've seen the twinks. I do not think keir was the one being bummed.

If you need an ID pic to stand as a Labour MP, use this one:

Blobfish, sunfish, coconut crabs. Probably countless others. They are all victims of reddit slander. There is not an animal on this planet that is not beautiful. Every single animal is perfect at doing what it is supposed to do. If I needed an ID card I'd just steal one from literally any paki and say that's me. What are they going to do ask me to remove the hijab lol?

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Speaking from what your mum told me about what you do with your paki boyfriend.

This is GREAT banter!....it really is.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

If you guys are going to larp as my parents fighting can you at least leave bottles of gin around the house for me to steal please

 

[Cho Chang's Granddad]

In Scotland an attempt by Scottish Parliament Member Ash Regan to criminalize prostitution was defeated last week after a vote, a couple of months after Spain also fought off a similar attempt. Opponents to the bill include Amnesty UK and the National AIDs Trust who argue criminalization increases the risk of HIV.

https://x.com/NAT_AIDS_Trust/status/2019021485009228263

She's also an idiot. She didn't know what "going underground" meant and thought it literally meant in cellars under the ground. Dumbest politician in Scottish history.

https://spectator.com/article/ash-regans-prostitution-blunder/

At least she is used to losing. She failed to become First Minister- the highest political position in Scotland, then changed to the Alba political party and failed to become their leader too (Alba is similar to Reform, except most people aren't aware they even exist).

 

[teriyakiburns]

If starmer goes tonight or tomorrow, I'll be wrong again, because I was giving him at least another week.

There's also implications in some of the emails that Epstein had in fact, eaten, some of them. As in cannibalised them. If I wrote a piece of fiction like this, people would call it absurd, unrealistic torture porn.

This is where I think we're sliding into people laundering their fetish fanfics through current events. All the emails talk about is fancy food prep (sous vide was mentioned a lot. It was trendy at the time), fancy pans, and making beef jerky. The cannibalism hints require reading entire books between the lines. I'd almost think it's a weird attempt to discredit everything else, if I didn't know that some people are just that lurid.

 

[tack så mycket]

In 2023/24, the average cost of keeping a prisoner in England and Wales was approximately £53,801 to £56,987 per year. This figure represents a significant increase in recent years, with costs varying based on security category, such as young offender institutions, which can exceed £159,000 annually per person.

So that's approximately £825,000 per meat thieving crackhead.
Do we put this down to the magic money tree or do we hike everyone's tax again ? I'm sorry, but the life of a crackhead isn't worth anything like that much to me.

It costs that much NOW because that's how much the system has decided to spend. If we decided to spend less, it would cost less. Do you think it cost £160k per year to keep a young offender banged up in Thailand or Nigeria or Russia? It costs as much as the government chooses to spend.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

If you guys are going to larp as my parents fighting can you at least leave bottles of gin around the house for me to steal please

If they're going to properly LARP you childhood surely the bottles should be mostly empty?

 

[femboy fart huffer]

If they're going to properly LARP you childhood surely the bottles should be mostly empty?

Nah you drink half and then pass out and that leaves the rest to go missing and be written off as a 'must have finished it and threw it away'. Or have a stockpile where some can go missing and 'must have drank that and just forgot'.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I think I just realised why that Amelia girl caught on so quickly. She activated an ancient racial memory.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

BREAKING NEWS:

Keir Starmer to make emergency address to Labour MPs tomorrow as he battles to save his job

https://www.gbnews.com/politics/keir-starmer-emergency-address-labour-mps-tomorrow

https://archive.ph/wip/EElQX

Also, Lord Rennard of the Lib Dems is in trouble:

https://www.gbnews.com/politics/liberal-democrat-lord-rennard-suspended-investgation

https://archive.ph/wip/QHjEc

View attachment 8536077

Oh Shittertons!

The idea of David Lammy being PM terrifies me more than The Lettuce (PBUH) and her nuclear posturing ever did. Lammy is a complete oaf who has no common sense at all. I don’t know his political or educational history, but I do know that no-one that stupid should ever be able to make it to the upper echelons of power. Stupid may be book smart, may be politics smart, but he’s absolutely clueless about the people of the UK and the real state of the country. The bloke was stupid enough to claim men could grow a cervix, just because he didn’t want to anger the men in dresses brigade, ffs. Letting him loose with control of the police, the armed forces, the big red button? Bloody terrifying. Fucker would nuke Exeter if he thought some angry old TERF was there posting hate speech about men in M&S changing rooms.

The absolute state of politics in the U.K. Is this what we’re left with? A pick-n-mix version of America’s idiot-faceoff between two elderly dickheads who have zero clue but too much money?

I know I doom here a lot about politics, but what is the point of taking part in this charade, as a voter? They’re lucky the internet exists and most of the population are too busy wanking over animé porn to riot in the streets.

If you need an ID pic to stand as a Labour MP, use this one:

View attachment 8536282

'My name is Karen Blobfish, pronouns are Yabba/DabbaDoo'

Is that Sharon Osborne?

 

[EddyRooney]

It costs that much NOW because that's how much the system has decided to spend. If we decided to spend less, it would cost less. Do you think it cost £160k per year to keep a young offender banged up in Thailand or Nigeria or Russia? It costs as much as the government chooses to spend.

I think that's a pretty naive way of looking at things. You might be able to save some money on the £160k a year ( perhaps one less hand holding psychoanalyst session a week for the juvenile reprobate or one less trip a year to Alton Towers ) but I doubt it on the standard convict.

Could the government pay less to the guards than they do now / the catering / the prison buildings ? I very much doubt you could outsource prisoners to other countries. The Human Rights lawyers would have a field day. Unless you're talking about some utopia where Britain suddenly falls under your dictatorship and everyone follows your orders for fear of being the next inmate ?

That is always my consideration when some evil bastard gets banged away for a long time. It might be "justice" for the family / the streets are safe - but as usual it is the tax payer that foots the bill for it. Now if there was a way that all these people could be put to work and literally pay off their debt to society, that might be a different thing. I'm not talking about pay a fine / bribe and be released, I mean get up at 5am every day and work for 16 hours at a minimum wage doing something that fuels the economy. Although in the real world we have moved too far away from this sort of model.

Certainly if I was dictator ( and not Principal of Shermer High School ) the only way to acheive rehabilitation and release for minor and mid-level crimes would be through work within the prison or in work gangs on infrastructure projects.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Rowling going in for the kill.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

This is where I think we're sliding into people laundering their fetish fanfics through current events. All the emails talk about is fancy food prep (sous vide was mentioned a lot. It was trendy at the time), fancy pans, and making beef jerky. The cannibalism hints require reading entire books between the lines. I'd almost think it's a weird attempt to discredit everything else, if I didn't know that some people are just that lurid.

Yep, it's kinda like the whole Pizzagate thing. Was it weird as hell that meetings were happening off the record at a tiny pizza place? Sure. Did it mean that they were secretly trafficing children and harvesting their blood to continue their quest for immortality? Fucking hell no.

I'm half convinced the pizzagate sperging was a way of diverting everything as something as boring as bribes for favours could have taken down a lot of people, but discrediting it asap meant it was just a wacky conspiracy theory about reptilian paedos running the world.

As for Epstein's girls, I'll say exactly what I said about the whole Harvey Weinstein shit: You genuinely mean to tell me that if some disgusting man had control of your entire industry and doing disgusting favours for him would make you rich and powerful beyond your wildest dreams... you believe you and everyone else would say "No thanks, I'm a moral child of God" and reject the offer? I know a lot of you wouldn't take the offer, but the idea that NOBODY would really sends my noggin' joggin'. Every single victim of Weinstein knew they could say no, but it'd mean that Blonde Actress #52 would get that role instead of them and they'd never get their big break.

If you were helped into a fairly well paid job by a notorious people trafficking paedophile then there's a good chance you've gone off the grid to save your arse. You haven't been killed and eaten on a BBQ.

 

[Le b0wski]

Rupert Lowe Raises further Allegations Over £2.6 Billion missing through a network of charities and non governmental organisations which he says are connected to individuals close to Keir Starmer.

Lowe alleges that the money was moved through complex financial routes involving multiple organisations and offshore structures.

This has always been the way for Labour when in government or even just running councils. It's the core of what they claim is a deregulation plan but it's just Labour mates setting up a million quangos that nobody can freedom of information about where the money is going. If the government or a Labour council do pay for something the contract gets setup with some claim they are helping the local community and they then funnel money to charities setup by Labour members that don't actually do anything.

Just look at Sadiq Kahn and Mete Coban flying all over the world handing out money and doing dodgy deals.

 

[tack så mycket]

Could the government pay less to the guards than they do now / the catering / the prison buildings ? I very much doubt you could outsource prisoners to other countries. The Human Rights lawyers would have a field day.

Human rights lawyers need to be taken out of the equation entirely.

if there was a way that all these people could be put to work and literally pay off their debt to society, that might be a different thing. I'm not talking about pay a fine / bribe and be released, I mean get up at 5am every day and work for 16 hours at a minimum wage doing something that fuels the economy. Although in the real world we have moved too far away from this sort of model.

Yes, this is the sort of thing I have in mind.