UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Sensitive Young Man]

I really think the only way Starmer can end this shitshow with some dignity is through suicide. Would be funny to see Lammy try to run the Yookay as well.

 

[Made In Wales]

I think the exact meaning of smashed needs to be clarified here…

Very good, @Otterly

He wasn't my type though.

As in knuckle sandwich in his acne ridden face kind of smashed.

Turns out he was a 'squirter'... yuck!

 

[teriyakiburns]

I really think the only way Starmer can end this shitshow with some dignity is through suicide. Would be funny to see Lammy try to run the Yookay as well.

He just has to hold out until the end of life bill is passed.

It'll be Rayner v Lammy running for the leadership at this rate. What a shit show.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Pictures from a historic archive. I'm sure all these boys had pictures of naked chicks on the wall because they respected their opinion. Probably would have wanted to engage with them in deep conversation and wanted to discuss the meaning of life. Or men are dumb animals and they really like tits. Everything attached to them is secondary. FHM magazine used to sell like hot cakes during the lad culture years and I don't think any of the women in that were good at conversation. Basically just spank fodder and we were honest about that and didn't whinge "she's being objectified" when she took her pay check home.


View attachment 8517493View attachment 8517494View attachment 8517495View attachment 8517496

Post battle jacket

 

[Made In Wales]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1466846761626489/

Billie Elish gets ratio'd by Ben Leo.

Double posting but DGAT:



IF this happens, there will be the biggest booze-up on Friday night.

Know it won't get rid of Labour as the Government, but it will now be easier to get them gone over the next few months.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

Basically just spank fodder and we were honest about that and didn't whinge "she's being objectified" when she took her pay check home.

I think the problem is how normalised proper hardcore porn is and the lack of distance between the wanker and the wanked. No one anymore can actually admire a woman's body and find it appealing. They just want to imagine three cocks going inside of her at the same time because it's what they saw on pornhub.

Old wank mangs used to create some distance between the "reader" and the model. They were in suggestive postions and wearing suggestive clothing yes, but they weren't actively doing anything sexual. This effectively creates a barrier and a mindset of look but don't touch. All the Onlyfans models these days shove crap into their vag in their bedroom and communicate directly with their audience. They're not on a set anymore you're inside their bedroom and you can make them say your name if you give them enough money. It breaks the barrier between "reader" and model and at that point, if you're so intimate with them what really seperates them from other women in the world?

This is the most autistic thing I have ever posted, the reacts are going to be a fucking trip.

To be fair it's not as if I actually know what normal men wank off too, I'm a disgusting pervert who likes Midget BDSM dungeon porn. For some reason the thought of Warwick Davis in a gimp suit makes me so incredibly aroused.

I really think the only way Starmer can end this shitshow with some dignity is through suicide.

Is the bookie doing odds on this?

Double posting but DGAT:

View attachment 8517572

IF this happens, there will be the biggest booze-up on Friday night.

Know it won't get rid of Labour as the Government, but it will now be easier to get them gone over the next few months.

Shit, got to get down there fast.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Is the bookie doing odds on this?

Shit, got to get down there fast.

Put me down for a pony on lance stroll winning the F1 this year.

Spoiler: green day are still crap

Since we’ve had internet coming of age stories, pre all inbetweeners stuff we presumed all the cool kids were having it off all the time and our knowledge of naughty stuff was based on copies of Razzle found in the bushes. Which led us to believe the razzlestack was a real possibility and green day were actually a good band.

 

[Carbiter]

Double posting but DGAT:

View attachment 8517572

IF this happens, there will be the biggest booze-up on Friday night.

Know it won't get rid of Labour as the Government, but it will now be easier to get them gone over the next few months.

Is David Lammy any better?

 

[Carpe Jugulum]

Is David Lammy any better?

Lol no. He is the definition of dumb nigger.
Edit: I suppose yes because then Labour can continue to self-harm.

 

[Special spoonie]

Why is Starmer spending his final hours pushing Chagos through tonight? Guessing more is going to come out about Mandy’s involvement in that…

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I'm a disgusting pervert who likes Midget BDSM dungeon porn. For some reason the thought of Warwick Davis in a gimp suit makes me so incredibly aroused.

Now THAT is wife material. Snag 'em while you can boys!

I'll wait til I see a video of it happening before I think Starmer is resigning. Labour is DONE is the bong version of Two more weeks.

 

[Made In Wales]

Is David Lammy any better?

The Nigger version of Lettuce Liz.

Posted this in another thread, but my bet is now on Burnham to try to stand for one of these two seats in the hope of being elected (although Reform UK, Greens, Lib Dems and others will be gunning for them):

* Norwich South (possible resignation of Clive Lewis)
* North East Somerset & Hanham (forthcoming resignation of Dan Norris the deviant)

Should he win, he'll become PM - but then he will have to get a mandate to govern.

If, however, it's a run-off between Streeting and Rayner, then Streeting has said he would go to the country in order to get a mandate to be PM.

We'll have to wait and see.

Popcorn at the ready...

 

[chilli burn]

Lmao, my friends used to roll theirs up, funny stuff. We had a ban on rolling skirts up, and on trousers with the words 'JUICY' and 'BOOTY' on them. Who buys this shit for their kids?


View attachment 8516356

Ngl why is it that the more third worlders we let it the more women dress like slappers and the more they complain about getting stared at. Like how anyone can complain when they walk around with the words "juicy" sequined on their arsecheeks is beyond me.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Ngl why is it that the more third worlders we let it the more women dress like slappers and the more they complain about getting stared at. Like how anyone can complain when they walk around with the words "juicy" sequined on their arsecheeks is beyond me.

In this case, society has been massively coarsened by the wholesale importation of yankoid nigger media, rather than by the importation of African niggers.

Literal whores singing about their wet-ass pussies simply wouldn't have been permitted on the radio or TV in a more civilised age.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Maybe, maybe not. Legalizing hard drugs paid off in Portugal, but made Portland worse than it was before.

That's a bit different though. They didn't sell drugs in those places. They made it so that you would not be sent to jail for possession (which we already do for weed btw). There's a difference between making possession not an instant jail sentence and actively selling those things. I don't know any other countries that have had legal selling of drugs other than America and Canada and the only thing I've heard is that the taxes added on actually made it more expensive than buying it illegally and it choked out the market.

You stop at weed. It's so common place and every one smokes it, just legalise it and you'll drag users of harder drugs back onto weed.

Is acid worse than weed? Are shrooms worse than weed? Why not those too? Do you really trust the government to stop at what you consider to be a reasonable stopping point? I don't think that we should fill up the prisons with junkies and they should be sent to somewhere that they can actually get help but I don't think the government selling drugs is good either.

shouldn't it be up to boys (at least I hope it's just the boys) to not upskirt the girls.

Yea this is a fucking islamic viewpoint. You should cover yourself completely to stop men looking at you. Can't show your legs today, can't show your ankles tomorrow, can't show your face the next day. It's slightly more understandable if it's teenagers but like just fucking slap them if they do that shit. They deserve it and not letting them learn those basic rules of consent is not going to set them up very good for the future. That being said it probably is all pakis doing that already. No one in our year did that shit, you'd talk about if you think the girls have tits or if they've started wearing bras and that sort of stuff but that'd be the absolute most. Idk apparently me as a literal child 12 year old have more of an idea about consent that adults these days. I wonder if maybe there's anything to do with intelligence I wonder if maybe all the immigrants are quite literally less mentally functional with their 76 average iq than children are.

hideous boxy blazers

I fucking hated those things. Idk if it's just me but I despise anything with a plastic nonbreathable inner lining. I fucking swear we would still have to wear that shit in summer and it would be fucking soaked with sweat and would feel absolutely vile. Shit felt like wearing a binbag and only slightly better looking.

Why are they?

I wonder if maybe any major company that broadcasts media in Britain that is famously riddled with paedophiles might have any secondary motivation in showing the shit they do now? I wonder if maybe the foreign companies that run onlyfans and pornhub and all that shit might have any reason to want kids to see that to demoralise them? I finished school just as internet porn was becoming a mainstream thing that people did. Back then it was taboo. You'd talk about because you were a fucking teenage boy but you'd never act like it was normal. You'd never consider joining a roblox erp discord group because you would literally never hear the end of it. Doing anything like that was social suicide. But hey bullying is bad and we need to stop bullying for uhhhh reasons idk. I remember my best mate when the topic came up of porn and that shit as the bell rang and we started walking off on our own that he'd accidentally wanked over French pissing porn because the intro was normal and it was clearly one of those things that was funny but not something he would ever tell anyone else about because he knew he would forever be known as the french piss man.

It's the voyeuristic nature of it

I will one up you. Upskirting is something only someone with the mind of a rapist would do. Especially taking photos. There's voyeurism and then there's just you belong in jail. There is no excuse at all for anything like that. That's not teenage boys being teenage boys, that's just them being future rapists.

I think the exact meaning of smashed needs to be clarified here…

The daughter of our headmaster was always like, there's two tiers, there's the girls that are too hot you have no chance with at all, then the ones that are still attractive but you actually have a chance with. She was at the high end of the second group. But no one dared to do anything because if you fucked up even slightly you'd be in massive shit. I always thought it was kinda strange though. Having a family member as a formal teacher like that sounds incredibly awkward. Though he was a good teacher compared to the absolute fucking bimbo whore retard that replaced him.

Lol the pe uniform too. I had a massive crush on a girl that was kinda idk not a tomboy or a butch lesbian but kinda idk slightly more masculine but in subtle ways. Our pe kit was 'androgynous' aside from there was still male and female versions because men and women are shaped differently. But it was less feminine and more neutral and it suited her really well. She'd wear not short shorts but tight shorts too when she'd normally wear looser type stuff the rest of the day. That was the peak of hot back then. We had a lot of mixed sex stuff too because there's not really much you can do with the small class size we had so it would be kinda a treat to play football because none of the girls wanted to. Instead we'd play faggy shit like badminton or dodgeball and that sort of stuff. I think I was the one of the only guys to prefer that because it meant playing badminton with my crush. Honestly looking back I should have just asked her out because I am 99% sure she liked be back but I'm also fairly sure she was mildly autistic. It was kinda strange you'd get the piss taken out of you for it and I'm like tf are you on about everyone always talks about wanting to fuck women and all that lot and I'm closer than half of you despite being a fucking literally retarded faggot?

There was also one time where I accidentally shit myself at the end of pe like not just shit yourself but full fucking liquid hard shit yourself. I was like man I'll just clean everything up in the changing room toilets afterwards rather than run off a few minutes early and basically announce to the entire class I shit myself. I ended up taking so long that the teacher accidentally locked me inside and I had to open the window and climb out that way and set off an alarm doing so. Thankfully I just told the teacher yea sorry I needed a shit and nothing else.

Boys watching mega dwarf triple penetration ebony gangbang porn

We had that too. There was not a day that went by without someone mentioning nugget porn. It wasn't something you actually watched and enjoyed it was just a lol nugget porn type thing. We had shock videos when I was in school. Now the kids watch the same videos but they're meant to be wanked over not laughed at.

 

[chilli burn]

his lad (who I smashed)

 

[TheArtilleryman]

Okay, which one of you did this on X ?
View attachment 8505472

The Turkish barbers are money laundries bro. How the fuck do you audit haircuts? Who decides what haircuts are even worth? Are you gonna track down every supposed customer and verify their haircut history?

The vape shops are legal drug dealers, they've all got new and strange THC-like substance vapes that fuck you up even worse than weed because you can hit it all day without anyone even noticing its an actual drug your puffing.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Ngl why is it that the more third worlders we let it the more women dress like slappers and the more they complain about getting stared at. Like how anyone can complain when they walk around with the words "juicy" sequined on their arsecheeks is beyond me.

As a society we've told people not to protect themselves. And then perverts call any sort of modesty islamic because they want to see women dressed like slappers. So we have the perfect storm of "she was asking for it" (yes, she was) mixed with perverts.

Just tell a woman it's a bad idea to dress like a slapper and wander around a migrant hotel and see how long it takes for her to explode with "So she was asking for it right!?". They get so angry when you tell people you should be responsible for your own safety and avoid dangerous situations.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

David Maddox of the Independent has Labour MPs telling him they want a Cabinet Minister to resign to force Keir's resignation.
The Government has been forced to publish Peter Mandelson’s vetting for US Ambassador without a vote. This covers all his messages and emails to Keir Starmer, Ministers and advisers, plus due diligence papers"Prejudicial" material will be sent to the ISC to review. Including

- Messages, emails and minutes of meetings between Mandelson and Keir Starmer, Chief of Staff Morgan McSweeney and Ministers in the six months prior to his appointment and during his time as Ambassador
- All papers relating to Mandelson’s appointment as US Ambassador, including Cabinet Office due diligence passed to No 10 and his Conflict of Interest form submitted to the FCDO
- Material provided by the FCDO and Cabinet Office to UK Security Vetting covering Mandelson’s interests linked to Global Counsel, his work relating to Russia and China and his links to Jeffrey Epstein
- All information on Mandelson provided to Starmer before his assurance to the Commons on 10 September 2025 that full due process was followed
- Details of any payments made to Mandelson on his departure as Ambassador and any payments made to him from the Civil Service

The Met Police is protesting publishing all this information tonight due to reasons.

What is this Chagos deal? Are we keeping it? Do I care? Hang Mandelson

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Is acid worse than weed? Are shrooms worse than weed? Why not those too?

Acid shouldn't be legal and neither should mushrooms, but mushrooms should be used in a medicinal, clinical setting to help with PTSD/Trauma and addiction. Mixed with hypnotherapy/language models, shrooms can be extremely powerful as a cure to many mental illness.
And not a constant scheduled weekly chat with a 'therapist' kind of cure, a one and done cure.

________________________________________________________

Lammy vs Kemi in British PMQ's? The absurdity level is off the charts and I'm all for it.

Kemi: "Aye gun axed you a kweshtun"
Lammy: "No I axed you da question"
Kemi "Das rite I axed you the kweshtun"
Lammy: "Ho, who you be speakin at?"

It'll be like 90's Jerry Springer: Parliament edition.

"Lammy, all y'all blurds are fucked and u suck dey asss"
KEMI! KEMI! KEMI! KEMI!
Oh no u di'unt, ho [pulls Kemi's wig off]
LAMMY! LAMMY! LAMMY! LAMMY!

Imagine the Spitting Image episode. Labour red and Tory blue, literal bloods and crips.

Please make it happen