Miss'ippi John you can't keep him down,
Gonna fix a problem in Tijuana Town,
Gonna make it known & gotta be clear
Nothing'll stop John as an engineer
Now you might remember last time I told you the story about Miss'ippi John being defeated by the underhanded dealings of those evil Democrats in his race for politics. But that wasn't the end of ol' John, no sir. It was going to take a lot more than some dirty Democrat tricks to take down someone as motivated and determined as Miss'ippi John, and if you get you're self a chair, a stool, a barrel, or hell just pop yer self a squat, I'mma fixin' to be tellin the story of the time Miss'ippi John saved a whole mess o' children down south-a the border in Tihuana.
Now to get ready to run for office, John'd shut down his hugely successful game company, and turned hisself into a woman (or at least a close proximity there of) by using the knowledge he'd gained by growing up as a poor destitute black girl who had a computer and a nintendo. Now, for sure, John could have restarted his game studio, gotten all of his well-paid employees who enjoyed working for him to come back at the drop of a hat, and put out another game as successful as the last one... but Ol' John didn't see the point, as he'd just need to shut it down the company again in two years when he was going to have to run for Congress. And not running for congress wasn't an option, as someone had to show those women how running for congress was done properly. So Miss'ippi John was left as an engineer with nothing to engine. Yessir it was a mighty dark time for ol' Miss'ippi John.
Well, that's when Ol' John got word of some trouble brewin' south-a the border in Tihuana. Now John knew nothing was going to affect his future consititients in Massachusetts like the goings on in Mexico, so Ol' John did what any average American man would do, and packed up his favorite Porsche and quick as he could in first gear got down to T-J to look things over. And what he saw just turned ol' John's now dainty and feminine stomach. He saw a bunch'a children being driven back by tear gas; these tiny, 200-lbs children just running through the streets, tears and drool matting in those young children's beards. It just broke ol' John's heart to see.
John did what he knew he had to do.He had a plan, but that damn border wall was in the way. So he put all his engineerin' skills to work on circumventin' that wall. And he set to built hisself a ramp, and calcy-ated just how high and how fast he'd need his Porsche to be going when it got to the top. You might be thinking all this buildin' and calcy-ating was too much for one man to do, and while Miss'ippi John was no ordinary man, you'd be right. But you see, all this activity attracted the attention of the locals, and they all pitched in. Why, they even canceled the lunchtime donkey show so they could hook the burro up to a cart and help get the ramp built and road cleared. With everyone pitchin' in, things were done in time for the afternoon donkey show.
Then it came time to for John to put his plan into motion, and well an engineer like John knew just what to do. He got his Porsche to the top of that ramp they built...and John used the reception he could get from up there to tweet. Oh boy he tweeted like nobody's bis'niss. He tweeted and liked and retweeted like they ain't never seen nobody tweet before. But not even the tweets of a tweetin' machine like John was a match for the Federal Gov'mint, and eventually ol' john's thumbs just gave out.
John, thumbs callaused, bruised, and cramped into little hooks, he just couldn't tweet any more, and without his tweeting, well there was nothing holding back those Federales from rounding up all those people he'd gotten across the boarder with his tweets. John just couldn't believe what'd happened. "Well that's the meanest, most downlow thing I ever did see." John said he watched the trucking taking all of the of 6'2" 240 pound children he'd rescued back to mexico. "Weren't no reason for them to do that. Tweren't like they was sand niggers or nothing." John said, starting back for home, knowing he'd won a lot of hearts and minds in his congressional district that day.
