Regarding John, he doesn't exist anymore- let me say, he will be missed. I really appreciate that you were recusant enough to get me through this. I don't think of you as gone - I am quite like you, only stronger. I am happy, whereas you were not. I can easily smile, which is something you were rarely capable of.
When I think of all the things that I we had to overcome together, it's quite a list. The five year crippling Ambien addiction, the splatter-movie mugging of 2002, and the 12 years of religious indoctrination in the guise of schooling - thinking through that alone is an impressive accomplishment. We are tough as nails, Space cat - and no one can take that from us.
That said, you don't exist anymore, legally or nominally. And today is a day of celebrating what you were able to accomplish - becoming strong to let me become Brianna.