Alright. Let's get the rest of this shit out of the way.
Introduction & Education (cont.)
So yeah. I was so distracted by how terrible those introduction paragraphs that I didn't even get to comment on her education. As others such as
@Optimus Prime and
@zedkissed60, this section has some serious problems not the least of which is the timeline we have for Brianna's education is inconsistent. However, I'll leave that to someone else to analyze. What I want to focus on is how Brianna spends half a page talking about her education while saying jack shit. At least she managed to tell us what her major was but that's about it. She doesn't tell us if it's an associate's or a bachelor's nor does she bother stating a minor or even an area of concentration. Just that whatever she was working on, it was business.
As others have said already, her write-ups on the colleges she attended read like advertisements. More problematic is that these
are completely unnecessary. Why is she spending all this time selling her college(s) to me, the hypothetical employer? It feels like she's insecure about her college choices and needs to make excuses for it. Oh, and let's not overlook the "subtle", smug way she clumsily attempts to put down Ole Miss. I'd ask why she even felt the need to put that in there but everything about this section is unnecessary save for the college names, dates attended, and major.
One final problem to discuss and I can finally get away from this awful section. In her college write-ups, she never once talks about anything she did. The Millsaps College section implies that she took courses in subjects like economics or accounting but it never outright says what courses. All of this writing and I still don't have a clue what the hell Brianna Wu has done, what she wants to do, what she's good at, where she wants to work, or what abilities she has. This page is somehow even more pointless than the contact info/FAQ because at least there I learned something definitive about her.
Business Skills
The smallest section of Brianna's resume. I'll refrain from making the obvious joke.
Once again, we have a pointless border that takes up a third of the page. The colors have changed as well to a blue/grey scheme that at least looks slightly better than the purple/grey or the yellow/blue monstrosity of a contact info page but why are these even here to begin with? If it's a demonstration of her artistic talent or design abilities then this fucking sucks. It's bland, dated, and lacks cohesion.
As for the "business skills" themselves, we get yet another couple of sentences that look like they were ripped straight from a Millsaps College recruitment flyer. Why? Each skill she lists is accompanied by what I assume is a picture of one of her textbooks. Why? I'm asking that question a lot reviewing this resume. Sure wish Brianna had asked it herself when writing it.
And oh my freaking God, take a look at how these skills are described:
Finance said:
Else School Students are given a most challenging curriculum.
Economics said:
Within the Business Major, my specialty is Economics.
Marketing said:
Advanced classes put the emphasis on consumer psychology.
Accounting said:
Classes are taught in small groups that solve business problems.
Japanese said:
I plan to continue my study of this challenging language.
Is. . . is this a joke? Why do 3/5 read like course advertisements (again)? At least we learned
something about Wu here and even then, it's super vague. What did she specifically study in regards to economics? Did she focus on macro or micro? What's her degree of proficiency with Japanese? There is so much here left unstated, including
actual business skills. I'm getting tired of trying to read between the lines to have some semblance of a clue as to what Brianna Wu did in college and I can only imagine what an HR person would feel trying to slog through this waste.
Work Experience
For some reason, this is listed as a separate page on the website despite being on the same page as her business skills. Fuck off, Wu. Your resume doesn't need more padding.
God help me but I'm going to say something positive about this part. I like the icon she uses for her bullets. It stands out but not in an obnoxious way like everything else she did making this resume. Plus, at least she formatted her work experience correctly so there's another piece of positivity.
Now for what should be the meat and potatoes of a proper resume but who knows what I'll get with Brianna at this point. First thing that stands out to me how brief her tenure is with all these positions save for her current one and the ones with her own studio. The internship being short makes sense but the rest only lasting a few months would definitely raise a red flag with any hiring manager.
Also on the subject of standing out is that internship with a senator's office. Why is this even here other than I guess Brianna wanted to brag about it? It makes no sense within the context of the rest of her positions and I'd say it makes no sense with what she's trying to apply for only I have no idea what that might be. In fact, the more I look at this the more I confused I get. Brianna spends most of this "resume" talking about her business skills and experience but then proceeds to list a bunch of journalism positions. I understand that people change careers and fields, but they at least try to tailor their listed skills on their work experience to match whatever they are trying to go for. With Brianna, it's more like she's throwing everything she has done out there and hoping that something gets a company's attention.
Speaking of those skills, I guess I should say something about them. Once again, everything is so passive. She "worked on" or "managed" things but there are no examples given, no significant accomplishments stated. Plus, all of it so ambiguous that I am back to having to guess what she actually did instead of her telling me. I really don't like how off-putting a couple of her bullet points are, like making sure to note that the staff she assisted were "less experienced" or that she did hundreds of takes for her voice acting. Besides, isn't the second one a given since it's almost unheard of for anything to be nailed in one take?
More writing issues of note include her changing narrative voice a few times. She jumps from third to first a lot. Maybe that's why she can't keep the Twitter assistant thing going for long? Additionally, she's real fond of stating that she "personally" did something. Saying it once wouldn't be a big deal on most resumes, but Brianna uses it three times to describe her job duties. Ego much? I don't get why there appears to be random hyperlinks throughout the points unless she copy/pasted from somewhere else.
I'm not even going to touch the patents bit because you guys covered that one well. I will add as my final note that consistency in your formatting is important and is something Brianna doesn't understand. What I like to tell people when it comes to writing a resume is to find 2-3 key points or accomplishments that best summarize your most recent experience and stick to that number of bullets throughout the rest of your resume. I think Brianna was aiming for three bullets per position but either couldn't come up with enough material for some of the jobs or shaved points off for the sake of conserving space (lol).
CONCLUSION (tl;dr)
This is now my go-to example of how NOT to write a resume. It's astoundingly incompetent. Eventually, I'll write a better conclusion but I have to get going.