Brianna Wu / John Flynt - Original Thread

[CWCissey]

I'm still having trouble with the very first page, where it says "it's treason to share this document" and then approvingly talks about Nathan Hale, who was hanged for . . . treason.

It's different when it's a revolutionary. Also to share a shitty book about a shitty game is totally selling out the American way you guys.

 

[Sarcastic Username]

"We know our own when we see them. This is why Chessboard's successful recruitment rate is over 98%. "

What's the unsuccessful recruitment rate?

The ideals that bind you together are stronger than any differences of former profession, age, race, sex, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity.

, except they're all young chicks.

For game flavor text, this isn't bad. I've found no typos. There is a big hard-on for MIT.

*edit* the name dropping is annoying. Wu, Sarkeesian, Scalzi.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

I put the thing up on my Box Account.

Enjoy, my Kiwis.

I can't get over the fact that this shit is rendered worse then System Shock 2, a game that came out 16 years ago. The only thing that looks like it would be from this millenium are the Bratz Doll heads, and that's just barely.

 

[Cum Crime]

I like the dozen or so pictures of the HAL 9000 camera interspersed throughout the document for no fucking reason. Most of them are recolored but at page 20 Wu just starts using the original red. I can't tell if he's just pointing out that his ideas aren't original or if he's trying to say that the HAL 9000 camera is the Chessboard AI? Either way, would be interesting if there's a copyright on that.

 

[MayMay]

I like the dozen or so pictures of the HAL 9000 camera interspersed throughout the document for no fucking reason. Most of them are recolored but at page 20 Wu just starts using the original red. I can't tell if he's just pointing out that his ideas aren't original or if he's trying to say that the HAL 9000 camera is the Chessboard AI? Either way, would be interesting if there's a copyright on that.

... it would be half-clever if they handwaved it by saying something like how the cameras were formerly props from that movie or something. Asspull but semi-clever.

But nah, everything Wu comes up with is original and clever because she's a "professional" and obviously that means everything she does is perfect.

 

[Optimus Prime]

There is so much bizarreness in this book it's worth reading for the laughs. Not all of it though - here are some notes for the thread:

• Brianna Wu claims she didn't write most of this but her friend Carolyn VanEseltine did most of the writing with consultation from Brianna and Frank. How much of this wasn't Brianna standing over her shoulder telling her what exactly to write vs. Carolyn expanding on rich cinematic universe is up for debate.

Calling it now - Carolyn VanEseltine and our old friend, Zoe Quinn, are one and the same. The fact Zoe strangely doesn't have ties nearly as strong to Wu as she does literally every other person involved is suspicious.

• If you have a whole army full of vat grown chinamen doing exactly what they are commanded, it's no wonder the Chinese own the fucking world. View attachment 20472

It's funny @Jaimas mentioned how he and I crack Warframe jokes because...the Grineer (who frankly have been DE's boner material for the past few months to the point you wouldn't be faulted for forgetting there's a psuedo-cultish tech worshiping merchant trade union who also are your enemies) are literally vat-grown deformed clones of the same dude over and over. They apparently now control most of the future Solar System.

• 
  

  [*]This propaganda piece might be Tiberius Rising levels of bad View attachment 20471 "They say a single bullet could change the course of history. Heh, they were right"

That is actually pretty scary, given we know Tiberius Rising was one gigantic farce (ironically part of a brilliant narrative) all along as part of the great ruse cruse of recent time, but Wu...she'd seriously say that and think it didn't sound absolutely fucking stupid.

• There are five full pages using a bunch of tech buzzwords to describe how the Chessboard AI "works", 4 pages describing the geopolitical landscape of a world the player never even sees, and 8 pages on a player guide with this amazing PROTIP View attachment 20483 this isn't even a joke - she's telling you the whole game can be won by standing in place.

No, she's not telling you that her game is so poorly made that it can be won by standing in place.

It's Carolyn VanEseltine telling you that the game is so poorly made that it can be won by standing in place.

NOTE TO SELF: When Revolution 60 comes out, rip the models and consider making a Kiwi Farms expansion where Mercs for the Farms attack chessboard under the command of Commander Stryker to offline Chessboard's ability to retaliate. Include robot wolves based on Soap.

So basically MGR:R except with street racing sections ala F-Zero?

I can't get over the fact that this shit is rendered worse then System Shock 2, a game that came out 16 years ago. The only thing that looks like it would be from this millenium are the Bratz Doll heads, and that's just barely.

System Shock 2 was a fucking timeless masterpiece. What it didn't do only set the stage for Bioshock to fill those roles.

... it would be half-clever if they handwaved it by saying something like how the cameras were formerly props from that movie or something. Asspull but semi-clever.

But nah, everything Wu comes up with is original and clever because she's a "professional" and obviously that means everything she does is perfect.

Unless those cameras are like, a foot in height as far as the lens cover is concerned, they wouldn't work. Having actually gotten so bored in a CAD class years ago, I completely drew up a full set of fabrication diagrams for the HAL9000 "sensor array eye" based off of the original specs.

 

[John Titor]

I put the thing up on my Box Account.

Enjoy, my Kiwis.

I've taken a design class; this would get a guaranteed F for making so many design faux pas. The text and image placements, awful choices of color, etc.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

I'm amazed it took 400K and 4 years to make this...thing. (I dread to call it a video game)

Really...where did that much money go? I didn't go into the program obliviously and now we know it didn't go into the lore so where did it go?

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

I've always been curious as to exactly who she's talking about when she says "men in the industry" and "men in tech" do certain things. Considering she's essentially the boss of her own dev studio she hasn't had to deal with many men (or women) in "tech" or "the industry". At least not in a professional capacity where she wasn't the one employing them. Considering she likes to talk about how Giant SpaceKat is almost totally women then it makes even less sense



Oh, okay. She just means random people on the internet she talks to. Damn dirty men just want to end conflict. Typical nerdbros.

 

[Hodor]

I'm amazed it took 400K and 4 years to make this...thing. (I dread to call it a video game)

Really...where did that much money go? I didn't go into the program obliviously and now we know it didn't go into the lore so where did it go?

...Hookers and blackjack?

 

[Torchwood]

Calling it now - Carolyn VanEseltine and our old friend, Zoe Quinn, are one and the same. The fact Zoe strangely doesn't have ties nearly as strong to Wu as she does literally every other person involved is suspicious.

Well, her name is Chelsea VanValkenburg....

 

[A Random]

Why is she offended by Bill & Ted?

 

[MACH-IV]

Why is she offended by Bill & Ted?

Bill and Ted are men, what isn't offensive about that?

 

[Smutley]

Calling it now - Carolyn VanEseltine and our old friend, Zoe Quinn, are one and the same. The fact Zoe strangely doesn't have ties nearly as strong to Wu as she does literally every other person involved is suspicious.

As much fun as this would be I don't think it's the case.

Her twitter paints her as a "Professional game designer. Award-winning interactive fiction author. Former Harmonixer. Writes about game dev athttp://www.sibylmoon.com."

What we can gleen from her linkdin is she was let go from Giant Spacekat once the game and book shipped, she spent years working at Harmonix where she climbed the ranks to... a pretty nothing position paying 50k in a city right near Boston, and a "parking coordinator".

Spoiler

Here are her credits which are a bit misleading, I mean yeah the best boy gets credits in a movie but that doesn't mean he did more than offer assistance to the key grip. Brianna Wu seems to have scrubbed the profiles of her entire team off her Revolution60 webpage (which is helpfully listed as page1) but I can't be assed to go back and look for my original caps I just checked the wayback machine and she did indeed scrub the page. Her title was "game designer" on Revolution60 and there isn't a single thing about what she actually did, which leads me to believe she was basically an in-house playtester since that's her only real skill and Brianna held the job of telling everyone what to do. But don't worry, team credits were replaced with a 1000 words on how great Brianna Wu is.

Spoiler: Giant Spacekat Profile

Edit: holy shit I just realized this. The majority of her game credits are from when she was Web Quality Assurance. She only worked as a producer on 2 games, the rest of the time she was just QA. The biggest claim to fame is getting a mention on the credits for Dance Central 3 as "additional production". But don't worry, the team managed to find time to thank Leigh Alexander

Spoiler

If her linkdin is to be believed, she doesn't currently have any job except making "interactive fiction" and blogging about shit.

Also just for fun here's what an Associate Producer at Harmonix does (spoiler it isn't "making games" and it isn't "putting words into an already developed open source browser based parser")

 

[the Borg]

I'm amazed it took 400K and 4 years to make this...thing. (I dread to call it a video game)

Really...where did that much money go? I didn't go into the program obliviously and now we know it didn't go into the lore so where did it go?

The same place his male parts went. Surgery that insurance doesn't cover and the trash. I'd bet that Wu's parents disowned him for wasting their money like that, if they really did disown him.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

@Smutley you are an information god. You need to put together an article on Wu for the lolcowwiki.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

System Shock 2 was a fucking timeless masterpiece. What it didn't do only set the stage for Bioshock to fill those roles.

I was speaking in terms of graphics not general design. Thief 2 and System Shock 2 are some of my favorite games, but everything that was done in the Dark Engine looks like reheated shit.

 

[Quail]

I like how much the Rev 60 Lore Book-thing keeps on going on and on about how they are fighting for 'Freedom' and how the Fifth Column are evil because they are the enemies of Freedom and all Chessboard operatives are really keen on the idea of Freedom... And then it carries on to talk about how you should obey orders without question and routinely deceive anyone who isn't a chessboard operative because accountability in democratic systems isn't something Chessboard feels is worth having.

I get the feeling that Wu or whoever didn't really put much effort into trying to actually build up the ideas behind her world and just went with stuff that sounded kind of cool at the time. Hence China building a giant death satellite to fight the 5th C (who have no real depth beyond Bad Guys) which promptly gets taken over by the 5th C or Chessboard getting to do everything with no accountability because actually limiting the organisation in some way impedes Brianna's fantasy.

 

[CWCissey]

I like how much the Rev 60 Lore Book-thing keeps on going on and on about how they are fighting for 'Freedom' and how the Fifth Column are evil because they are the enemies of Freedom and all Chessboard operatives are really keen on the idea of Freedom... And then it carries on to talk about how you should obey orders without question and routinely deceive anyone who isn't a chessboard operative because accountability in democratic systems isn't something Chessboard feels is worth having.

I get the feeling that Wu or whoever didn't really put much effort into trying to actually build up the ideas behind her world and just went with stuff that sounded kind of cool at the time. Hence China building a giant death satellite to fight the 5th C (who have no real depth beyond Bad Guys) which promptly gets taken over by the 5th C or Chessboard getting to do everything with no accountability because actually limiting the organisation in some way impedes Brianna's fantasy.

Y'know, there could have been an interesting conflict akin to the V For Vendetta graphic novel there. Authoritarianism vs absolute freedom.

Shame it had to go to a shitty writer with an overriding desire to belch their agenda everywhere.

 

[c-no]

Why is she offended by Bill & Ted?

It has two men who go back in time and in the end, they get women and they also end up being creators of a future that isn't bad.