Brianna Wu / John Flynt - Original Thread

[Smutley]

@Smutley shared the world document you have to pay for from Rev60 with us in the other thread, but they've gone missing now for reasons unclear.

So like, I found this thing from a guy on a site on the online and the link might go away eventually so grab it while it's hot.

http://www.filedropper.com/rlcv2

 

[Hodor]

It looks like a corruption of automata.

Edit which makes sense with parasite eve plagiarism. One of the enemies in parasite eve 2 was a group of cyborgs.

That is the spergiest thing I've ever seen.

Not you of course, but Wu.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

So like, I found this thing from a guy on a site on the online and the link might go away eventually so grab it while it's hot.

How drunk should I be before attempting to read that?

(Also use Mega pls. Superior file locker.)

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

It's not like Mardonia terrible.

It's just not good or that interesting, it's only worth the time because the authors a lolcow.

 

[Optimus Prime]

She's called Unknown because she's the greatest pilot in the entire world or something and that's her callsign since you can't Hiroshima the Valentina.

View attachment 20281

And what does Unknown do if you don't killer her?

Oh yeah, she makes a heroic sacrifice by flying some spacecraft into the path of whatever the fuck Crimson 09 fires at Earth.

Big damn sacrificial moment, just even more proof it's actually the same character just heavily redesigned since the self-insert aspect got fufilled in real life.

 

[Jaimas]

So like, I found this thing from a guy on a site on the online and the link might go away eventually so grab it while it's hot.

http://www.filedropper.com/rlcv2

I was going to do a joke where I counted the number of times the document referenced Brianna herself, some other game, or ripped off another work somehow, but I lost count around the time that FIFTH COLUMN IS THE WORST THING EVER YOU GUYS.

 

[Cynical]

How drunk should I be before attempting to read that?

(Also use Mega pls. Superior file locker.)

Please do, I can't seem to download from that link.

 

[WeedFaggot024]

Huh. Call me late to the party, but i've just noticed They all have the same head model, not one little change between all 3 of them Bar the "fantastic" hair. Just look how nicely orange chicks head fits on the others.

 

[Jaimas]

I put the thing up on my Box Account.

Enjoy, my Kiwis.

 

[Cynical]

I just started reading this crap, and my god, the writing is shit. The designs of the characters take themselves about as seriously as an Austin Powers movie while the writing dolls up the agents of Chessboard like some Mary Sues, then admits they can go crazy pants if they suffer a head injury right afterward and become a massive liability.

And THEY are the secret defenders of America.

Also, how the fuck could the evil shadow lords controlling China build a massive superweapon in high orbit over the US and Wu write a plot where America sits with it thumb up it's ass? I mean, come on, if I were the US, I'd do more than shit my pants if an enemy country put a death ray over my head.

But no, she seriously expects me to believe the US would be so impotent we'd have to trust sexualized Bratz dolls to save the day.

 

[Jaimas]

I just started reading this crap, and my god, the writing is shit. The designs of the characters take themselves about as seriously as an Austin Powers movie while the writing dolls up the agents of Chessboard like some Mary Sues, then admits they can go crazy pants if they suffer a head injury right afterward and become a massive liability.

And THEY are the secret defenders of America.

Also, how the fuck could the evil shadow lords controlling China build a massive superweapon in high orbit over the US and Wu write a plot where America sits with it thumb up it's ass? I mean, come on, if I were the US, I'd do more than shit my pants if an enemy country put a death ray over my head.

But no, she seriously expects me to believe the US would be so impotent we'd have to trust sexualized Bratz dolls to save the day.

My favorite was the argument that the various guns are particle beam weapons when the Fifth Column rifle is clearly an AK with pointy bits. Because a particle accelerator needs shell ejection ports and a conventional box magazine.

 

[millais]

I put the thing up on my Box Account.

Enjoy, my Kiwis.

My eyes started bleeding from the horrible writing, so I just skimmed the rest of the document for the lazily done photoshop posters

Spoiler

edit: also in Appendix B, Frank Wu has this to say about the game:

Rev60 is not a comedy of errors about a party in a park; it's a death struggle with millions of lives in the balance.

 

[Big Nasty]

Spoiler: nnnghh

Snoutface Barbie

 

[Torchwood]

Spoiler: nnnghh

Snoutface Barbie

"all the who's down in whoville liked hair gel a lot."

 

[MayMay]

"all the Wu's down in Wuville liked hair gel a lot."

There, fixed!

 

[Count groudon]

There is no way shes putting as much effort into this game as she claims she does (as if that was ever in doubt). The characters all share the exact same model, with the only differences being their hairstyles and accessories, the plot is a mangled mess of plagerism and clichés, and the graphics look somehow slightly worse than the graphics in a cutscene of an old ps1 game, despite the fact this game was made 20 years after those games.

 

[Smutley]

There is so much bizarreness in this book it's worth reading for the laughs. Not all of it though - here are some notes for the thread:

• Brianna Wu claims she didn't write most of this but her friend Carolyn VanEseltine did most of the writing with consultation from Brianna and Frank. How much of this wasn't Brianna standing over her shoulder telling her what exactly to write vs. Carolyn expanding on rich cinematic universe is up for debate.
• This book is written like complete Chessboard propaganda. The game itself makes it apparent that Chessboard is just as evil as Fifth Column but, ironically, is even more poorly managed since they let their Bratz Assassins do all kinds of goofy shit and are very susceptible to being hacked or letting "AI Shards" become corrupted. If you have a whole army full of vat grown chinamen doing exactly what they are commanded, it's no wonder the Chinese own the fucking world.
  
• This picture includes the only male character model that isn't a Fifth Column soldier in both Revolution 60 and the Companion book. Even the character profiles for important characters like Chase Wu don't have a profile picture because the modeler couldn't figure out how to make a male face out of the female heads.
  
• This propaganda piece might be Tiberius Rising levels of bad
  
  "They say a single bullet could change the course of history. Heh, they were right"
• For some reason nearly a quarter of the book is detailed descriptions of equipment, weapons, and vehicles that may not appear in the game. I think the game had a much bigger scope that they obviously couldn't hit but Brianna still wanted to pay Frank so she had him keep developing models that would never get used. This is pretty apparent since they used untextured models for a lot of the shit that doesn't appear. The rest looks like an RPG manual that left out all the roll tables and stats which means it's pretty useless even as far as fluff goes.
  
• There are five full pages using a bunch of tech buzzwords to describe how the Chessboard AI "works", 4 pages describing the geopolitical landscape of a world the player never even sees, and 8 pages on a player guide with this amazing PROTIP
  
  this isn't even a joke - she's telling you the whole game can be won by standing in place.

 

[MayMay]

Man, the fifth column stuff reads some serious George Bush-era shit. Or more accurately, Wu's delusion of what her critics and/or gamergate is like. "They hate what you love, they won't listen to reason" and all that.

This is why I'm such a fan of grey-and-grey morality as opposed to this black-and-white drivel.

 

[Jaimas]

You know, it's funny - @KingofManga420 and I made jokes about Desperado Enforcement, LLC early in the thread, followed by me and @Optimus Prime making jokes about Warframe later on, but analytically speaking, in the retarded dystopia that is the Wu-niverse, merc work seems like it'd be hella lucrative. China basically owns a huge plurality of the world (how it accomplished this amidst about 5 larger nations that would have happily nuked its ass into oblivion the second the Death Lotus entered drydock is never explained), the other nations seem content to bunker down, get insular, and leave China's shrieking to its own devices whilst Chessboard struggles to stay relevant. This'd mean a hell of a lot of regional conflicts and a fuckton of chances for black marketeers and bloodthirsty opportunists like PMCs to make serious bank. Just shoring up a security contract and keeping faggots like Chessboard out could probably keep a small company fantastically wealthy in this universe.

....Huh.

NOTE TO SELF: When Revolution 60 comes out, rip the models and consider making a Kiwi Farms expansion where Mercs for the Farms attack chessboard under the command of Commander Stryker to offline Chessboard's ability to retaliate. Include robot wolves based on Soap.

 

[Sarcastic Username]

I'm still having trouble with the very first page, where it says "it's treason to share this document" and then approvingly talks about Nathan Hale, who was hanged for . . . treason.