Border-Line Personality Disorder

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I reject the idea of "personality disorders" as medical illnesses. They are simply bad attitudes and bad behaviors people ended up with from either shitty childhoods or things like surviving in an unstable country etc. But they aren't diseases. They are feelings and actions that people can and do choose to change.

I have about as much respect for ✡️psychology✡️ in general as I do for Scientology.
 
cPTSD is real, but it’s also used as a placeholder. Real cPTSD is stuff like children who have been abused for years, people living in war zones getting shelled for years, etc. becasue BPD has such a stigma attached to it and BPDd are prone to flouncing, some therapists use it as a diagnosis to bill and treat to keep someone in treatment. It’s also trendy to label yourself with. See: well, half the cows.

It can be greatly improved by it. I’m not sure it can be cured

It’s becasue it was seen in the borderline of psychosis and neurosis - in the Freudian sense of the definitions I think?

I agree with this and it’s something I’ve thought for a long time. A six week old baby is utterly dependent on you and gets very distressed when separated from the mother. Early daycare is traumatising children and leading to big societal problems.

I think many do. People mellow and learn coping strategies (some of them anyway.) schizophrenia can also improve with age (obv not a personality disorder.)
BPDs can be a nightmare, as can narcs. My first encounter with real narc/BPD pairs was at a job I had in the 2000s. I had to work with this woman who literally tried to take my personality, while trying to run me down at every opportunity. It was bizarre. She claimed to speak a language I do (she doesn’t.) she claimed to have the same qualifications as me. She’d wear the same clothes, then her orbiter would try to attack and get me into trouble with management. It was extremely peculiar and made me very stressed at work - I left the workplace and she followed me. She then spent the next five years (I moved towns) trying to sneak into my life in various ways. It was really awful.
Kudos to anyone who has it, has insight and does the DBT work to treat it.


cPTSD is real, but it’s also used as a placeholder. Real cPTSD is stuff like children who have been abused for years, people living in war zones getting shelled for years, etc. becasue BPD has such a stigma attached to it and BPDd are prone to flouncing, some therapists use it as a diagnosis to bill and treat to keep someone in treatment. It’s also trendy to label yourself with. See: well, half the cows.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is very real. It's also very very distinct from BPD. It's just that to a lazy or to a time-stressed Psych trying to figure a person out, it can get misdiagnosed. People who have PTSD usually have one or more short sharp events where they nearly die, or they see someone else die, perhaps both. Someone might get it from being in a car accident, someone else might get it from witnessing a car accident. Rape victims who are threatened with death so as they comply can get it, thinking they are about to be murdered.

People with Complex PTSD are hostage victims. Children that suffer low level abuse from an early age, probably better called 'neglect'. But then again 'neglected' children can often be well dressed, well fed, well spoken. The abuse is psychological, emotional. Very often when you deal with people who have been raped or beaten to a pulp, and people who have been emotionally or psychologically abused, those that have been emotionally/psych abused will say they wish the assaults were physical or even sexual, as that would denote a marker/boundary. There is no such marker with emotional/psych abuse. This is why they are so head-fucked, because they have been headfucked. A scar is proof of abuse taking place. A rape is proof of abuse taking place. Always being put down, always being told you will amount to nothing - well - there is no marker for that. Each incident is innocent enough. This is not to take away from the evil that physical abuse/rape presents.

Both CPTSD and BPD are distinct categories (even if one has not been taken up yet by the DSM/IV or the ICD). And CPTSD and PTSD are very distinct from each other as well. If you know what you're talking about.

Remember, the map is not the territory. How many people can define what HPD is compared to BPD. Yes, they are both Cluster B, what makes one so, and the other, not so? And why is even ASPD defined as a Cluster B as well? Mmmm good question.


The fact is we are all grasping at straws. The map is not the territory. Psych shit is not a hard science. But it's surprising how well it does. There are certain fractures common to the human brain/consciousness. And when they do break, they tend to break along certain points. They tend to break along certain stress points that we all have. Then again, we are all different.

Should Pyschiatry and Psychoanalyis be abandoned as a bad job? Hell no! It's all we've got. As imperfect a metric as it provides. The problem is knowing when contributors to these metrics act in bad faith. Many governments do. See the dissidents in the Russia of old, locked up for 'impure thoughts' just because they disagreed with the state taking everything they had and murdering their family. You'd probably have 'impure thoughts' about that too. Who will be the arbiter of the mind.

Who will watch the watchers?

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Just because you have a lot of cop-outs from society self-diagnosing, and getting that diagnoses confused, does not mean that a diagnosis is not available. Hell, even fucking autism is fashionable once or twice a year, then falls out of fashion, then it's something else.

On top of that you do have a lot of misdiagnoses, and yes, some malicious from professional practioners. Therapist abuse is a big thing. But most of it is over-stretched practioners and ill-informed and 'not-quite-ready-yet' psychologists/psychiatrists. Not everyone can be R.D. Laing. Not everyone can be Murray Bowen.

Keep in mind that the fields of Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis and Psychology are all discrete and distinct enterprises. Couple that with the fact, that just like a Professor in the USA is very different to a Professor in the UK, well, a Psychiatrist in the States is very different to a Psychiatrist in Bongland.


Witnessing death or facing death, tends to give people PTSD.

Being kidnapped, or abused consistently for decades (sometimes in to late adulthood) by family members, tends to give people CPTSD.

Being abused in another very specific way from childhood, tends to give you BPD/EUPD.


But it's how you turn out as an adult at the end of it, and present your fuckups to the wider world that really matters. Yes there are overlaps, but not really if you take the time to diagnose. Those with CPTSD are far more withdrawn and will have different comorbidities compared to someone with BPD, who will tend to be more aggressive and outgoing and conniving. Bi-Polar is not unheard of with those with BPD. And that complicates things by an order of magnititude again.

The map is not the territory.

It's almost impossible to say. Every unique individual provides a unique case to be studied. We can do nothing more than compare notes, and be compassionate. One thing these people all have is a history of trauma. Yes, BPD people tend to be more unpleasant (usually women, men get diagnosed less with this). They often are abusive towards their psychs: I DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU. That sets the tone for the session doesn't it?

To be clear. I am not a professional. Just a layman. So cum grano salis.

I have one girl in my therapy group I've done a lot of work with. And she hates being labeled a 'Borderline'. She prefers EUPD (Emotionally Unstable). And when we talked about the possible misdiagnosis of her condition, she said that she thought she really had CPTSD. It's a less offensive label. It offers up more support and more understanding and sympathy. BPD's are known for being manipulative fuckers. But CPTSD's are just 'misunderstood'. Everyone prefers being 'misunderstood' to just being called out for what they are: manipulative and abusive fuckers. See Amber fucking Turd. Thank fuck I'm not a professional.


The field of psychology/psychiatry/psychoanalysis runs deep and wide and muddy and murky.

There are great truths that can be learned from Freud, and especially Jung. But you need to know when to chuck the baby out with the bathwater. Because even though they got some things very very right. They got even more things very very wrong.

It's very difficult for Cluster B's to get meaningful treatment, because they never seek it, they always avoid it. And when they do get it, it's 90 percent of the time because they have got in trouble with the law, or have been forced in to it by a spouse. Cluster B's never see anything wrong with their Weltanschauung, their world view. It is always someone else's fault. In that regard, the BPD or NPD who provokes a partner to violence so they get locked up, has much in common with an ASPD (AntiSocial Personality Disorder), who sees their victims very much as 'victims' - deserving of their fate because they were either too weak or too dumb to see what was happening to them. It's a lack of empathy at a core level, that is shocking to those of us who can feel emotions, both in ourselves and for others in our care.

Personality disorders are personality disorders because they present not just a serious problem for the individual involved (who has the PD) but for those in their immediate environment/family. And by extension, they provide a greater problem for people in their community and wider society as a whole. If you believe the figures, something like 80 percent of ALL people in prison are Cluster B!

Then again, those with serious Cluster A personality disorders such as Schizoid PD, well, they never commit crimes. They never cheat people. They are always honest. They never make promises they won't keep. They keep themselves clean and tidy and their environment too. They tend to work jobs where they can indulge in their needed behaviour for seclusion and isolation (say Lighthouse keeper or Drone bomber in a bunker in Bumfuckistan). They are even warm to their very closest siblings and family members. But more than that? They want fuck all to do with humanity. At all. And who can blame them. Should they be labeled as having 'Personality Disorders' when they do not wreak havoc on society the way that Cluster B ASPD's do?


People with CPTSD are closer to those in the Cluster C group of disorders - Obsessive, avoidant, dependant.

People with BPD are closer to the histrionic and anti social and narcissistic types. That is why they are Cluster B.

People with PTSD do not have a personality disorder. They have a 'condition'. It was not put upon them from childhood, and they are generally not a threat to others. They tend to be much more disorganised as well. As are CPTSD.

Those with Cluster B PD's tend to be a lot more focused and organised and cognizant and manipulative. But even within these sub-groups there are sub-types. You can have a grand and malignant narcissist. Or you can have an inverse or covert narcissist.

The map is not the territory.

No one in the history of the human race has ever come close to figuring out the clusterfuck of the human mind. This is why we will never have AI in our lifetime. All we can do is compare notes. If we can admit our defeat in the face of such overwhelming odds, then mabye, just maybe, we can make a start to getting some real work done on how we need to start caring for each other, healing each other, and hopefully making this world a better place to live in. For future generations onward...

This is the Captain of The Starship Enterprise...

...logging the fuck out before they lock me up for another night!

(nurse really shouldn't have shared that wireless key)

 
I can relate, been on a ward enough times to see this happen, BPD peeps also tend to get a little follower where they can find one, usually the timid type of person with depression or social anxiety. Easy to exploit I suppose.
I hope this isn't too much of a PL, but I will admit that in my teen years I was this little follower to multiple borderlines. I don't really know why. I was always socially anxious and a literal autist, and these types would be the first to approach and befriend me, and by the time the abuse started I was already in too deep and was too horrible at standing up for myself. I think autists like me are an easy mark for borderlines, something I don't see talked about too much. We are easy to manipulate, even if we are of the high-functioning variety, mask well, and don't publicly voice that we are autistic.

I stay on high guard now and have learned to spot the symptoms of a borderline very early on. The classic, untreated ones tend to have this dark aura about them, like a seething tar pool of anger and resentment and jealousy, bubbling away just underneath the surface. Know the signs, especially if you have any sort of mental issue yourself that causes passivity or a high level of trust of others.
 
Sweet heaven, this thread. It makes me extremely grateful that the personality disorder I was diagnosed with (Avoidant) is a cluster C so I don't have to endure such destructive, brittle, unstable interpersonal relationships or behaviors in Cluster B. And Avoidant isn't really a peach to deal with either. It's just more introspective. And added with ADD, it just makes that introspection a hot pot without meds.

It makes me equally grateful that I haven't dealt with a BPD patient in the wild either. I have a feeling it'd just me anxious and exhausted in record time so I have the utmost respect for anyone not trained in psychiatry dealing with them of their own will. It all just seems a little masochistic, especially if there's some NPD sprinkled on top.

Now I've dealt with narcs and it's nightmarish. I can't imagine the struggle with a dash of borderline.

I've always seen people have a go at bipolar but honestly, bipolar kinda sounds like borderline lite without all the chaotic relationships.
 
as a BPD enjoyer i confirm OP is a massive faggot
I reject the idea of "personality disorders" as medical illnesses. They are simply bad attitudes and bad behaviors people ended up with from either shitty childhoods or things like surviving in an unstable country etc. But they aren't diseases. They are feelings and actions that people can and do choose to change.

I have about as much respect for ✡️psychology✡️ in general as I do for Scientology.
They are Ego configurations that don't let you interact properly but society is a piece of shit and those are developed to survive, having a good family sometimes doesn't let you comprehend how shitty it is to be born in a world where your caretakers are a fucking danger to you instead of a help, and of course people outside will take advantage of someone vulnerable.
And yeah they ain't disorders just the natural result of imbalance and humanity's collective psychosis, let's improve the dream cunts they just want more fear and panic to keep it under their control and feed themselves instead of using the resources to improve the system they sit on.
I see "psychological disorders" as little plants you digi-evolve and eventually they return fruits of madness
People with Complex PTSD are hostage victims. Children that suffer low level abuse from an early age, probably better called 'neglect'. But then again 'neglected' children can often be well dressed, well fed, well spoken. The abuse is psychological, emotional. Very often when you deal with people who have been raped or beaten to a pulp, and people who have been emotionally or psychologically abused, those that have been emotionally/psych abused will say they wish the assaults were physical or even sexual, as that would denote a marker/boundary. There is no such marker with emotional/psych abuse. This is why they are so head-fucked, because they have been headfucked. A scar is proof of abuse taking place. A rape is proof of abuse taking place. Always being put down, always being told you will amount to nothing - well - there is no marker for that. Each incident is innocent enough. This is not to take away from the evil that physical abuse/rape presents.
What doctors diagnose as complex ptsd is the exact same as BPD, you can expand the DSM-whatever to infinity about all the possible variations of psyche and keep branching it but in the end they are not even real things just concepts. Helpful to describe phenomena in the psyche and processes of personality and thats it
Should Pyschiatry and Psychoanalyis be abandoned as a bad job?
yeah they are fucking useless.
Psychiatry in theory is good, current industry is a hoax and a cruel scam, nature provides so much better alternatives that are kept away just for profit of a few bunch, the dudes who sell you psychiatric drugs and prescribe them to teenagers like candy because they don't give a fuck, besides cash.
And psychoanalisys is just not very practical, kinda outdated, slow and boring.
If you find a good doc i guess it's fine but then he/she would probably expand to art psychodramas and stuff like that

Tomorrow this cunts will diagnose you with "anger personality disorder" if you get pissed off at them for randomly beating the shit out of you or refusing to take your "meds" for "too much imagination disorder" or "rebel complex'
 
Psychology is of course contributing to known bullshit (transitioning as a cure for gender dysphoria) but I think that's not because the field is inherently bullshit, but because the field inherently attracts self-absorbed people who want to figure out what's wrong with them, and figuring out what's wrong with other people and helping them is usually secondary. Every therapist has their own therapist. Also, obviously, there's a lot of money to be made on top of that.

I've had run-ins with BPD and I think the poster earlier in the thread that described it as 50% autism 50% psychopathy nailed what they were like. The autism makes them act childlike & vulnerable so you feel sorry for them and get sucked in, and of course they feel sorry for themselves and encourage this - which autists do too. & I mean diagnosed, there are obviously others I've had suspicions about.

It's not really a red flag you can spot right away but both the female BPDs I've had to interact with spent a lot of time talking about their rape trauma, and then later explicitly used knowledge of another woman's rape trauma to hurt her because they were mad about being disagreed with over something insignificant. Two completely separate women, but both BPD.

One of them also turned out to already know that her male friends were preying on some younger girls they knew, in almost an uncanny similarity to what her own rape trauma was supposed to be - but she just didn't care.

I'm sure this is what derails a lot of women's activism, particularly around sexual trauma rape domestic violence etc - they will absolutely insert themselves into those spaces so that they get the unending chance to talk about themselves and their trauma - but they do not fucking care about other people, even the people in the exact same kind of distress who they have explicitly signed up to help.

Un-co-incidentally, all BPDs I have met, male or female, have seen nothing wrong with their behaviour and will often brag about how awful they are - and simultaneously brag about how empathetic they are and that they should become therapists.
 
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I would like to introduce to you Sam Vaknin, a high IQ diagnosed malignant narcissist that revitalized,redefined and modernized many views on cluster B personality disorders, starting in 90's, mainly on malignant narcissism but he is adressing entire cluster B in his videos.I follow him for almost a decade and he is the only person that made sense to me from the start and i became a loyal student of his and still am.
His book "Malignant self-love, narcissism revisited" layed grounds and introduced many terms that we use today in describing the cluster B disorders.
Altho he posts every day and each of his video is a treasure, i would advise you to start from the beggining and watch his old stuff because those are short videos, under 5 minutes.His new videos are much longer and go more in-depth on the topic.
I will not spam much, just add these 2 videos that sum up (and correct) alot that has been said throughout this thread.

I am definitely suffering from on or more cluster B PD's but i wont guesstimate as I should be having tests done soon and will post them.
I cannot recommend Sam Vaknin enough, he explains very complicated things in a very simple way and he has helped me tremendously to both understand and accept myself.
Do follow him on YT, he is a trove of quality and helpful info and advices.He is blunt, does not suck up to the viewer, he tells it like it is.
BPD is a bitch, as BPD dont really have a personality, they are empty core torn between conflicting emotions and their main attribute is dissociating(what used be to called multiple personality but that term is so outdated and that way of looking at it is obsolete).
I disagree very much with some of @cuddle striker's simplified definitions, altho he did get some things right.I think he got it wrong especially about histrionics and ASPD.
 
talking about brain plasticity: I don't believe you can ever fully cure prolonged childhood trauma or personality disorders and the likes
When it comes to cluster B, all damage is done up to 36 months old, anything after that is just nailing it harder.And its exclusively the mother, the father is the one that nails it later on if he is cold/distant, unwilling to guide you.
 
I reject the idea of "personality disorders" as medical illnesses. They are simply bad attitudes and bad behaviors people ended up with from either shitty childhoods or things like surviving in an unstable country etc. But they aren't diseases. They are feelings and actions that people can and do choose to change.

I have about as much respect for ✡️psychology✡️ in general as I do for Scientology.
This is a big issue.

Government loves to medicalize behavior it doesn't like.

Soviet union did it all the time, labeling people who didn't support communism crazy as a pretext to remove autonomy.
 
When it comes to cluster B, all damage is done up to 36 months old, anything after that is just nailing it harder.And its exclusively the mother, the father is the one that nails it later on if he is cold/distant, unwilling to guide you.
Do you have any papers or articles to support this?
 
@K-Hole "A scar is proof of abuse taking place. A rape is proof of abuse taking place. Always being put down, always being told you will amount to nothing - well - there is no marker for that. Each incident is innocent enough. This is not to take away from the evil that physical abuse/rape presents.Always being put down, always being told you will amount to nothing - well - there is no marker for that. Each incident is innocent enough. This is not to take away from the evil that physical abuse/rape presents."
My thoughts are the same.You've written everything with excellence.

BTW,just to add:BPD's become from being instrumentalized by narcissistic mother, either by being used for her own gratification,being parentified, forced into emotional incest with the mother (usually against the father), or simply by mother being cold,"dead" mother that gives no emotional attention to the child.What is common for all the examples is that the child's boundaries are broken, not respected, the child is not allowed to "discover the world" on its own and so it starts negating himself until he is an empty core.That is when the disorder settles in, as what should have been a child's geniune personality is exchanged with BPD personality with narcissistic traits.The child starts repeating the proccess on its own to please the mother.

Also. BPD men might be in some cases considered a kind of "white knights" when it comes to women, they will always choose problematic, broken girls with the mission to fix them, to "save" them.Which is impossible because the man is also broken himself, and the relationships are often either very passionate with alot of fights or the man gets used and eventually discarded.

I have personally started thinking that there is something seriously wrong with me because of my choice of women, as i was repeating the process described above.That led to focusing on cluster B and narcissism as it is the main trait of all the disorders in cluster B (i have always loved psychology,my biggest regreat is not going for a psychology degree, but would i be a good psych if i am broken?idk,i try very much to protect the world from myself,and am hermiting for almost 2 decades now.And idk if i can be cured, there is something in my BPD that is always making me slip out of possible resolution,possibly because i dont have a true self but this narcissistic monster poisoning my mind and soul)

Only thing that helped me tremenduosly is Orthodox Christianity's teaching of being observant of your thoughts and staying humble,and the writings/advices of Orthodox saints, but mostly those from the 1st thousand years of christianity..Not to say that they are better than modern saints.They, even tho are living a life secluded from the rest of the worl, have very deep insights into what is eating the modern men, and contemporary twisted philosophies that we are being bombarded with.
 
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Gonna stick my two cents behind a spoiler.

I lost someone that I cared for very deeply for a very,
very long time to their BPD spouse.

I am never going to be able to talk to this person ever again. I will never see their smile. I will never hear their voice. I will never be able to celebrate their successes with them. Or commiserate in support them in the hard times.

BPD people are the most selfish cruel and evil sort of monsters that exist in this world.
 
Gonna stick my two cents behind a spoiler.

I lost someone that I cared for very deeply for a very,
very long time to their BPD spouse.

I am never going to be able to talk to this person ever again. I will never see their smile. I will never hear their voice. I will never be able to celebrate their successes with them. Or commiserate in support them in the hard times.

BPD people are the most selfish cruel and evil sort of monsters that exist in this world.
That sucks.

I hate the modern trend in psychology that every instance of bad behavior is attributed to "who hurt you poor baby?"

Our genetics determine how we interact to stress.

And some people, like BPD, are just evil and selfish parasites. They have bad childhood experiences because of bad genes.

Done and done.
 
It's... whew boy. Very much chaotic, for both the people suffering from it and the people around them.
And the low-functioning BPD-sufferers can be truly horrific people.
What's scary is if someone with BPD tries to seek treatment, sometimes the therapist outright refuses to treat them because they are deemed "untreatable", so the pwBPD will try to self-treat themselves. And at that point, it's like a scale, and they will either pass or fail.
I feel for the pwBPD, and I feel for the people that have to deal with them.

I was officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I've had some rough patches here and there but I am constantly seeking change and I am happy with where I am now then where I was a long time ago. Having self-awareness and wanting to get help are the keys to success here, like with any mental illness or addiction IMO. If you don't have either of those, do not expect change. For those that have BPD, don't give up and keep going. It's hard, it's possibly a lifelong journey for us, but it IS possible if you put in the effort and try really hard to change and become a better person. The first key is to accept our flaws, stop victimizing ourselves, own our actions, and go forward.
 
What's scary is if someone with BPD tries to seek treatment, sometimes the therapist outright refuses to treat them because they are deemed "untreatable", so the pwBPD will try to self-treat themselves. And at that point, it's like a scale, and they will either pass or fail.

The reason therapists refuse to treat 'unstable' patients can be better understood when potential patients are informed of what qualifies them for the label of being unstable. Primarily this is applied to an individual trapped in a harmful environment, set of relationships and behaviours. For example, someone who is misusing substances, and is in an abusive relationship is not a viable candidate for effective therapies. Maladaptive coping strategies such as poorly controlled rage, self-harm, alcohol and drug use, promiscuity, and uncontrolled dissociation all prohibit many cluster B patients from accessing courses of treatment, such as BPD. This is because treatment for BPD requires a lot of personal investment, time and effort and that in itself is considered emotionally challenging enough for patients, such that they could not successfully apply behavioural modifications without first addressing those factors that detract from an individuals stability.
 
In my experience BPD women just ghost you if you get too close. It’s a problem that kind of takes care of itself.

It’s harder for me with bipolar chicks. They’re so broken and useless at everything they do because they’re so emotional that it makes me feel useful and needed.
 
That’s the ethical thing to do, since it IS untreatable and pretending to is just taking money from their insurer
Not really, DBT has good evidence and mood stabilizers can help stabilize their labile moods. DBT is good because it requires self awareness and does not allow the psychologist to be parasitized or manipulated. But they need to put in the effort, look at themselves critically and have the most important issues like substance abuse under control.
 
Not really, DBT has good evidence and mood stabilizers can help stabilize their labile moods. DBT is good because it requires self awareness and does not allow the psychologist to be parasitized or manipulated. But they need to put in the effort, look at themselves critically and have the most important issues like substance abuse under control.

DBT is a scam.

Here are some randomized, controlled trials that show it's...exactly as effective as any other treatment-as-usual. This has been known for over a decade.




There was a recent Cochrane review that tilted toward DBT but the studies they actually used for it were very minimal. I have a feeling this is a psych fad that will be replaced by something equally barely effective in a generation.
 
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