Let's Sperg Bellum Maga - A tabletop game that somehow fucks up Witches vs. Nazis
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- Jul 18, 2016
This image is heartbreaking. The game could be so cool, but all the cool bits are shackled to a monstrosity.
Rolling is simple. 4-6 is a hit, 1's subtract a success, you're good to go. Dice Pools are Attribute + Skill, as always in these systems, and untrained checks are Attribute -1. So far, so standard. The difference here is, unlike most systems, Battle has two attributes you can strap to it, and Initiative can also be done two different ways. Just max your Agility and Battle, take a gun, and never lose an Init check or miss a shot. Remember what I said about skills being too fucking broad?
The timekeeping in combat is weird, too. There are actions, which take about three seconds max, and rounds, which are made up of everyone's Actions and last 30 seconds. So if there's five people in a combat, what happens to those other 15 seconds? I don't know why this stuck out to me but it did, and you all agreed to suffer my autism when you clicked on this thread.
All melee attacks use Muscle, anything ranged uses Agility, completely ignoring anything that's more finesse based, so you Weapon Finesse Rapier Rogues out there are going to be disappointed. Also, most weapon types have a special thing they can do, like how Assault Rifles and SMGs can fire 1d6 times in a single action instead of doing something sensible like burst fire. I remember how in World War 2, the Germans won great victories in the early days of Stalingrad because they kept rolling 6s on their Assault Rifle firing.
Health, by the way, is equal to Fitness times 10, with incremental penalties for each multiple of Fitness your current wounds exceed. It's kind of like Shadowrun, except for the fact that a starting character with Fitness 5 can take three Assault rifle bullets that deal 15 damage dice each and only be at a -5, still able to walk around. Well okay, at the point you hit -5 penalty (which is the "Dying" level), you do lose a health point every round, and my example assumes every Damage die rolls a hit, because every weapon has damage dice and you have to roll damage, like it's Exalted. Hey, at least I'm recommending better games!
Semi-Auto Pistols, by the way, have the same rate of fire as an Assault Rifle, 1d6. To which I say Bullshit! Also, unlike most systems, your dodge roll is not subtracted from your opponent's roll, it's an all or nothing dodge. This also means you don't get more dice for your damage roll if you roll really well. But, damage dice are ludicrous anyway, most guns are 10+, while melee weapons are muscle + some number. So let's break this down: A Furie with a heavy hand weapon (let's use a big fucking axe) and her max points in Muscle (5) can do 12 points of Damage, assuming that weapon is the one she gets from her class powers, and if that assumption holds true, it's ignoring mundane armor and some magical armor. And this is WITHOUT that other class power that pumps her Muscle. Assuming every die in the damage roll comes up in an even spread (so, two of everything), this means she will do about 6 points of damage per swing (8 from the successes, two minus from 1s). With human average Fitness at 2, this is enough to immediately bump someone to 'Bruised (-1)' status.
So, while damage is ridiculous, every combat, without any bonus damage dice from good rolls, will take for fucking ever.
And to make it even MORE ridiculous, a Fitness roll can subtract successes from the damage roll while armor flat out reduces your opponent's pool of damage dice. I would recommend adding a house rule that says extra successes over and above an opponent's dodge adds to damage, or we'll be here all fucking week to get through one combat.
There's also a bunch of rules for other things, like smashing stuff and hacking. Hacking is a bit strange, it calls for Brains + Computers (you mean Technology? There is no Computers skill, that's from World of Darkness, you hacks), and to hack some random person's laptop requires 3 successes. Actual hacking is more complex, and let me tell you, it's easier to rummage through someone's desk for the password. Or something like picking a combination lock requiring 5 hits on a Brains + Crime check (they say Ruse, but they said back in skills that Crime is used to pick locks). And by the way, there is no such thing as an "extended task", or if there is, it sure isn't shown here.
The rest of the chapter is a bunch of tips on GMing, and it isn't anything that doesn't appear in better systems. If you want a summary, pick up the 3.5 Dungeon Master's Guide and read the first chapter.
Also, apparently, pointy-eared Ronald Raegen is a good antagonist for Maga. This picture appears on top of the Antagonists suggestions, so I can only assume that Ronnie is meant to fistfight the party to the death.
I just created another better system, didn't I?
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- Nov 14, 2013
Old Alzheimer's Reagan, or young, fit, Chad Reagan?
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Obviously Young fit Chad Reagan, probably using some Serpent Magic or Nazi-Super Science to be super fit and trim. He powerbombs off the top rope while explaining trickle down economics. This all has to take place in a WWE ring that also happens to be on fire, or else it would just be completely ridiculous on levels that Suda51 could only dream of creating.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Are we still doing this? Oh god we're still doing this. Thankfully, there's only two chapters to go.
We're now here in Chapter 4, Mystica Mundi, aka the Setting chapter. The book believes it's all Chapter 3, however, as the Chapter 3 header is on every page. EDITING!
The book points to a website called magicalmavens.com as being the homepage for Minerva and her coven, and by the way, most of the chapter is "as if Minerva was writing it". The actual, real life url, is "under construction", so don't actually go there.
So what exactly is the Goddesshead, which is still a stupid name? Basically they ripped off the plot of Final Fantasy 7: All planets have an energy field, and ours is intelligent because humanity is sentient, as the energy field is made up of all life on the planet. While interesting, I myself did it better when I started writing about the Aether in my short stories.
The Serpent is also detailed, but also contradicted, there's a group that pops up called the "Society of the Serpent" and nowhere is Cain mentioned, despite being mentioned wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the beginning. Sadie South is also mentioned as one of the few Maga to appear recently, since the Goddesses got kind of sort of completely rekt when the Serpent took over, and then the whole business with a woman named Ashley Porter being lynched (triggering a resurgence in the Goddesses and the Maga) is also detailed.
I'm not commenting too much, because it's actually pretty good. Some of the worldbuilding is fantastic, in stark opposition to the Wraethulu nonsense Randall is putting himself through, but it's so dripping with hate that I think even actual Tumblr types would tell it to calm down.
Continuing on the shitty art train, we get to Maga daily life which is basically "normal except for maga duties" which again reminds me of Princess. Covens and what they get up to are also detailed.
Also, Maga society is apparently big enough to have conventions. And yes, I mean ones the size of actual conventions you might have been to. Maybe not comic con, but certainly bigger then DashCon and with less ball pits. This kind of ruins the whole "coming back from the brink" element the rest of the book has been pushing, but don't worry, some sample locations also do that.
Those locations are next, and we'll get there next time, my gentle Kiwis.
We're now here in Chapter 4, Mystica Mundi, aka the Setting chapter. The book believes it's all Chapter 3, however, as the Chapter 3 header is on every page. EDITING!
The book points to a website called magicalmavens.com as being the homepage for Minerva and her coven, and by the way, most of the chapter is "as if Minerva was writing it". The actual, real life url, is "under construction", so don't actually go there.
So what exactly is the Goddesshead, which is still a stupid name? Basically they ripped off the plot of Final Fantasy 7: All planets have an energy field, and ours is intelligent because humanity is sentient, as the energy field is made up of all life on the planet. While interesting, I myself did it better when I started writing about the Aether in my short stories.
The Serpent is also detailed, but also contradicted, there's a group that pops up called the "Society of the Serpent" and nowhere is Cain mentioned, despite being mentioned wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in the beginning. Sadie South is also mentioned as one of the few Maga to appear recently, since the Goddesses got kind of sort of completely rekt when the Serpent took over, and then the whole business with a woman named Ashley Porter being lynched (triggering a resurgence in the Goddesses and the Maga) is also detailed.
I'm not commenting too much, because it's actually pretty good. Some of the worldbuilding is fantastic, in stark opposition to the Wraethulu nonsense Randall is putting himself through, but it's so dripping with hate that I think even actual Tumblr types would tell it to calm down.
Continuing on the shitty art train, we get to Maga daily life which is basically "normal except for maga duties" which again reminds me of Princess. Covens and what they get up to are also detailed.
Also, Maga society is apparently big enough to have conventions. And yes, I mean ones the size of actual conventions you might have been to. Maybe not comic con, but certainly bigger then DashCon and with less ball pits. This kind of ruins the whole "coming back from the brink" element the rest of the book has been pushing, but don't worry, some sample locations also do that.
Those locations are next, and we'll get there next time, my gentle Kiwis.
Puukalikka
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2016
So.. Is there actially a reason to play anything else but priest? Like wouldn't it be the easiest for every player to roll priest, build it all mana regen and that stat buff and just face roll everything?
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
In all truth, no. Spirit is not only used for casting, but is also the base "damage" of your combat spells and anyone resisting you has to fight against your spirit. So, Flame Arrow, a level 2 spell, does double your Spirit in Damage dice, meaning it's 10 damage and fire on your opponent. Or maybe you prefer Green Arrow, which does a bunch of damage and drains mana, so your spellcasting opponents can't use their stuff? Or maybe Ice Arrow, which does the same damage as Flame Arrow and also freezes opponents if their Muscle doesn't beat your damage in a roll off?
And that's just the Arrows of Artemis spell list. Imagine if I went deeper!
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
Sorry guys, I got distracted with Starfinder, an actually good RPG that makes Bellum Maga look like the shit pile it is.
So the magical locations. I don't get them. The book says that all doors are the same door (bullshit for anyone who's played Planescape Torment) and all crossroads are "The Crossroads", implying you can basically get anywhere any time two roads cross. What.
And then Minerva goes on to say that the Crossroads is a temple, and can only be reached if you have a key, but you need to know someone who has a key so you can be invited to the temple. There's no handy sidebars or break into OOC game text to tell us how this all works in game terms, so good luck deciphering this bullshit.
Other locations start off reasonable, with the Forest Labyrinth, a place guarded by a witch named Baba-Yaga, who is crazy. Then there's the Market where Maga from all over the world sell magical supplies, and again, I thought we were supposed to be fighting back from the brink. Minerva says you can buy anything here, and the first thing she uses as an example is "the souls of newborns". I wish to god I was kidding, but once again: Our heroes, everyone.
Then there's a Cathedral, and something called the "Dea-Womb", a pool full of blood. What makes it weird is how this pool of blood is what a new Maga's soul enters during the ritual of rebirth, and the blood itself comes from every dead Maga and everyone who died due to the Serpent's machinations. What.
There's also Ms Sadie's School for Girls which is basically a magical school. Which you'd think would be priority one on the Serpent's hit list but apparently it survives...somehow. What.
Look, there's only so many times I can say "this is retarded" before it stops being funny. In fact I'm not even making jokes, I'm just presenting this info straight and letting you all deal with it. But, before we move on to the rest of the book, your usual shitty art requirement:
Pictured: Either Ms Sadie's School, Hogwarts, or an unlisted location. I don't fucking know.
So the magical locations. I don't get them. The book says that all doors are the same door (bullshit for anyone who's played Planescape Torment) and all crossroads are "The Crossroads", implying you can basically get anywhere any time two roads cross. What.
And then Minerva goes on to say that the Crossroads is a temple, and can only be reached if you have a key, but you need to know someone who has a key so you can be invited to the temple. There's no handy sidebars or break into OOC game text to tell us how this all works in game terms, so good luck deciphering this bullshit.
Other locations start off reasonable, with the Forest Labyrinth, a place guarded by a witch named Baba-Yaga, who is crazy. Then there's the Market where Maga from all over the world sell magical supplies, and again, I thought we were supposed to be fighting back from the brink. Minerva says you can buy anything here, and the first thing she uses as an example is "the souls of newborns". I wish to god I was kidding, but once again: Our heroes, everyone.
Then there's a Cathedral, and something called the "Dea-Womb", a pool full of blood. What makes it weird is how this pool of blood is what a new Maga's soul enters during the ritual of rebirth, and the blood itself comes from every dead Maga and everyone who died due to the Serpent's machinations. What.
There's also Ms Sadie's School for Girls which is basically a magical school. Which you'd think would be priority one on the Serpent's hit list but apparently it survives...somehow. What.
Look, there's only so many times I can say "this is retarded" before it stops being funny. In fact I'm not even making jokes, I'm just presenting this info straight and letting you all deal with it. But, before we move on to the rest of the book, your usual shitty art requirement:
Pictured: Either Ms Sadie's School, Hogwarts, or an unlisted location. I don't fucking know.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
And now for the thing that in my original review, I called the stupidest part of this system: Hubris.
Hubris is in the game. You might have read the Mage books for New World of Darkness and remembered Wisdon, which started at 7 and provided a long ways to go and a long ways to fall. Hubris is...less so.
Basically, whenever a Maga uses their gifts or path abilities for personal gain or against innocents (oh my god, are these people taking inspiration from fucking CHARMED of all things?) they roll Resolve versus whatever their current Hubris level is, meaning a high enough Resolve can allow you to just do whatever and never take Hubris. The biggest drawback is that your mana comes back slower, but we can handle that in other ways and there are alternate methods of restoring mana.
Now here's where it fails: Not only does it not have a lot of teeth, since alternate ways of blood drinking, cannibalism, and goddess worship (again, our heroes) allow you to get mana back, but since a high resolve can negate it, who cares? Indeed, lowering Hubris is easy as well, all you need to do is spend 5 Favor, or someone else can beat you in an Allure + Magic/Persuasion roll against your Resolve + Hubris and spend 5 of their Favor.
In World of Darkness, leveling your Morality or Morality substitute took a shitload of points, and you had to be acting in a way that the GM agreed was worthy of the new morality level. Falling required you to intentionally do something below your current level of morality, and the pool you rolled didn't change, you had a set pool at each level to resist degeneration, and it was never more then 5 dice, which in World of Darkness you could very easily fail on. Also, using magic for personal gain was only a sin against Wisdom at very high levels, and it wasn't something a GM could use to beat a player upside the head. You just know with that "personal gain" line, some GM is going to use it to justify making Hubris rolls all over the place, like, "oh you used magic to get into this club even though I've put the bad guy you're tracking in this club, personal gain, roll resolve".
Attacking Innocents I get, but this fucks over Succubi something fierce. Actually it fucks everyone. Here the game is, giving you all these wonderful toys, but as soon as you use them against someone who isn't actively shooting at you, you're slowly turning into the Wicked Witch of the West.
Great job, game. D&D didn't have any of these problems with you using your awesome powers and skills against regular people, except an assurance that if you really got out of line, the GM would use all of his rules and NPCs to smack you down. That's all you need. The book seems to want us to play anti-heroes at best and possibly villain protagonists at worse, but if you go that route, let us have our toys and don't punish us just because we really wanted to get a mocha from Dutch Bros half off so we used the Diva of the party to convince them that 4:02 PM was close enough for happy hour.
I fucking hate this game.
Hubris is in the game. You might have read the Mage books for New World of Darkness and remembered Wisdon, which started at 7 and provided a long ways to go and a long ways to fall. Hubris is...less so.
Basically, whenever a Maga uses their gifts or path abilities for personal gain or against innocents (oh my god, are these people taking inspiration from fucking CHARMED of all things?) they roll Resolve versus whatever their current Hubris level is, meaning a high enough Resolve can allow you to just do whatever and never take Hubris. The biggest drawback is that your mana comes back slower, but we can handle that in other ways and there are alternate methods of restoring mana.
Now here's where it fails: Not only does it not have a lot of teeth, since alternate ways of blood drinking, cannibalism, and goddess worship (again, our heroes) allow you to get mana back, but since a high resolve can negate it, who cares? Indeed, lowering Hubris is easy as well, all you need to do is spend 5 Favor, or someone else can beat you in an Allure + Magic/Persuasion roll against your Resolve + Hubris and spend 5 of their Favor.
In World of Darkness, leveling your Morality or Morality substitute took a shitload of points, and you had to be acting in a way that the GM agreed was worthy of the new morality level. Falling required you to intentionally do something below your current level of morality, and the pool you rolled didn't change, you had a set pool at each level to resist degeneration, and it was never more then 5 dice, which in World of Darkness you could very easily fail on. Also, using magic for personal gain was only a sin against Wisdom at very high levels, and it wasn't something a GM could use to beat a player upside the head. You just know with that "personal gain" line, some GM is going to use it to justify making Hubris rolls all over the place, like, "oh you used magic to get into this club even though I've put the bad guy you're tracking in this club, personal gain, roll resolve".
Attacking Innocents I get, but this fucks over Succubi something fierce. Actually it fucks everyone. Here the game is, giving you all these wonderful toys, but as soon as you use them against someone who isn't actively shooting at you, you're slowly turning into the Wicked Witch of the West.
Great job, game. D&D didn't have any of these problems with you using your awesome powers and skills against regular people, except an assurance that if you really got out of line, the GM would use all of his rules and NPCs to smack you down. That's all you need. The book seems to want us to play anti-heroes at best and possibly villain protagonists at worse, but if you go that route, let us have our toys and don't punish us just because we really wanted to get a mocha from Dutch Bros half off so we used the Diva of the party to convince them that 4:02 PM was close enough for happy hour.
I fucking hate this game.
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2017
The art is so fucking gross. I can't even tell what they're going for, was this suppose to look realistic?, cartoony? or what?
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
The good news is, I can wrap the last bit of Chapter 4 and most of Chapter 5 together. They're basically the same subject, "Maga Enemies".
We get started with a detailing of the society of the serpent. It's basically Scientology but with a big fucking serpent instead of Cesna 777s being thrown into volcanoes. I say this because there are "tiers" in that society where you learn more and more stuff, including how to cast the real dark magic to quote Jack Chick.
Continuing on, we have Black Viper, a very transparent shot at the very real PMC Blackwater. They are noted for "often being enhanced" which I guess explains the red eye in the shot above if you think he's got a cybernetic eye or some shit. They're the easy "throw these at the party to get them into a fight" guys.
We also get the New Saints Church, because one cult wasn't enough. Apparently these guys are the ones behind that lynching that started all this. Good going, guys! You just re-created your worst enemy! Basically, they're every Conservative Christian stereotype rolled into one: Women should stay in the kitchen, the gay agenda will kill us all, yadda yadda yadda.
Also, the ASP news network. It's Fox News, need I say more?
We FINALLY get to the goddamn Children of Jormungandr, the Nazis with super science. Can these guys be the main villains, please? I just like killing Nazis, okay? They're also out to take over the Society, because the Serpent's minions are actually all opposed to each other. There was so much potential for a musing on how the Serpent is inherently self-destructive, but we never get it, which annoys me.
The next chapter is actual stat blocks for a lot of this stuff. Nothing is too egregious, but a lot of it also feels weirdly out of place, like how Angels and Demons (beings from Christianity/Judaism which are supposedly LIES made by the Serpent) are around.
Also, @Cthulhu makes a surprise guest appearance.
The Finale: The Sample Adventure!
We get started with a detailing of the society of the serpent. It's basically Scientology but with a big fucking serpent instead of Cesna 777s being thrown into volcanoes. I say this because there are "tiers" in that society where you learn more and more stuff, including how to cast the real dark magic to quote Jack Chick.
Continuing on, we have Black Viper, a very transparent shot at the very real PMC Blackwater. They are noted for "often being enhanced" which I guess explains the red eye in the shot above if you think he's got a cybernetic eye or some shit. They're the easy "throw these at the party to get them into a fight" guys.
We also get the New Saints Church, because one cult wasn't enough. Apparently these guys are the ones behind that lynching that started all this. Good going, guys! You just re-created your worst enemy! Basically, they're every Conservative Christian stereotype rolled into one: Women should stay in the kitchen, the gay agenda will kill us all, yadda yadda yadda.
Also, the ASP news network. It's Fox News, need I say more?
We FINALLY get to the goddamn Children of Jormungandr, the Nazis with super science. Can these guys be the main villains, please? I just like killing Nazis, okay? They're also out to take over the Society, because the Serpent's minions are actually all opposed to each other. There was so much potential for a musing on how the Serpent is inherently self-destructive, but we never get it, which annoys me.
The next chapter is actual stat blocks for a lot of this stuff. Nothing is too egregious, but a lot of it also feels weirdly out of place, like how Angels and Demons (beings from Christianity/Judaism which are supposedly LIES made by the Serpent) are around.
Also, @Cthulhu makes a surprise guest appearance.
The Finale: The Sample Adventure!
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2016
So the sample adventure. We're starting in New York, and our opponents are pedophiles.
You should know by now, Kiwis, I'm not ever kidding.
The setup is that the party is looking for a club called "The Orphanage" which caters to men with a very specific interest. Really, you don't need the excuse of being a Maga to hunt this place down, I think everyone here can agree that pedophiles deserve death.
Oh, also, a good part about the adventure: Aside from floor plans which are all straight lines, there's no shitty art! Hooray!
The Orphanage is immune to magical detection because the villains opened up the 3.5 DMG and learned all the strategies to say "fuck you divination", so it's time to take a page from Shadowrun's playbook and do some legwork.
Players can find and chat up a few different people to discover the existence of a new "designer drug" called Sunshine, and with a little work, can also discover the name of a major dealer-Angel. All the NPCs have their own reasons to be involved in this, but my favorite is the cop-for one, he's straight up marked as an "Innocent" so using magic on him will cost you a couple Favor points while the rest you can freely charm if you want. The cop is also being magically influenced by the Serpent's minions, I'm just going to copy his stuff for you all to see:
Since he is marked as Innocent unlike the rest of the possible NPCs, this means that our heroes get to stop him from being corrupted. He's still disgusted by this vision he saw, meaning we get to do something good for a change.
There's also Santos, the Thug. Not starting a fight with him if you meet him is worth a Favor point, though he's more then willing to start a fight with you until people start throwing Magic shit around.
The GM is encouraged to send the party all around to the four NPCs on offer in this chapter. Don't use magic on Sullivan and offer to help the other two NPCs and you'll get max Favor out of this.
The players can also optionally investigate Sunshine. Acquiring it and studying it leads to learning that it's a super-opiate made with Fairy blood. It even has rules for if a character takes it!
The cops and/or Angel and/or other gangs can also get involved while the players are looking to acquire it. In this case, the cops in question have at least one of the Serpent's minions among them, meaning that blasting your way out becomes a-OK. Just don't kill anyone because any sane GM will have the entire police force on your ass.
There's also a potential red herring in the form of a white limo to be looked into, but the big thing to look for in this part of the adventure is Angel's hideout, "The Pitch". Like The Orphanage, there's no finding it with magic because Angel has some mojo of her own and is very protective of her place.
Once the Pitch is found, the players will probably get into a fight with Angel, who is a Fairy herself and may be the one supplying the blood for Sunshine. It is possibly to deal with the situation without fighting, but only by entering the club in disguise as junkies and being very careful what you say. Otherwise, Angel's gonna start huckin' Lightning Bolts around and her wand makes her bolts more powerful. She also has some backup in the form of enchanted human helpers. She'll surrender once she's beaten and will offer up information that's useful for tracking down a guy named Abner who is either the boss or at least high up in this whole Orphanage deal.
So so far, the adventure is okay-nothing amazing, but it has some good moments and gives multiple options. The Orphanage itself is actually really damn good in terms of planning. Abner is definitely the guy in charge and the louder the players were in the search, the more he's prepared. Using magic on the premises also alerts him, and not using magic is tough when Wolves made of Shadow-Shadow Wolves!-attack the party. Unless the party are all Deus Ex masters and can slip in without attracting attention, Abner will be ready.
Once past the guards, both magical and mundane, the party also has to deal with "Hollows" as they descend into the club. I should also mention this place is below sea level, the entrance is down on the docks. Abner is a smart man and is using his Hollows to soften the party up, so a smart GM won't allow any rest, it's push through or nothing. The Hollows themselves are incredibly attractive ladies in maid outfits, by the way. Seriously, how did this game fuck up what could have been so awesome?
Abner himself is an old British fuck, but definitely qualifies for final boss status. He's more magically inclined and will lose in a straight up combat engagement, but his acid spit and ability to summon tons of snakes make up for it. If he's about to go down, he'll try to acid spit the walls and drown the whole damn club. If the party manages to kill him before then, or the acid spit fumbles (a real possibility), then the adventure mentions how the Club can be used as a base of operations once the girls have been rescued and the clients punished-yes, the adventure actually makes the party deal with the aftermath.
All in all, it's not a bad adventure, it has a good sampling of everything the party will need to deal with, and most of all it has some very tangible rewards. Favor gain is solid, but the promise of getting a base is a very good carrot to lead the players along, and some GMs might even neglect to have Abner flood the place just so the players can have a base or two.
But before we go, one more piece of shitty artwork, the back cover.
See you next time, Kiwis.
You should know by now, Kiwis, I'm not ever kidding.
The setup is that the party is looking for a club called "The Orphanage" which caters to men with a very specific interest. Really, you don't need the excuse of being a Maga to hunt this place down, I think everyone here can agree that pedophiles deserve death.
Oh, also, a good part about the adventure: Aside from floor plans which are all straight lines, there's no shitty art! Hooray!
The Orphanage is immune to magical detection because the villains opened up the 3.5 DMG and learned all the strategies to say "fuck you divination", so it's time to take a page from Shadowrun's playbook and do some legwork.
Players can find and chat up a few different people to discover the existence of a new "designer drug" called Sunshine, and with a little work, can also discover the name of a major dealer-Angel. All the NPCs have their own reasons to be involved in this, but my favorite is the cop-for one, he's straight up marked as an "Innocent" so using magic on him will cost you a couple Favor points while the rest you can freely charm if you want. The cop is also being magically influenced by the Serpent's minions, I'm just going to copy his stuff for you all to see:
Since he is marked as Innocent unlike the rest of the possible NPCs, this means that our heroes get to stop him from being corrupted. He's still disgusted by this vision he saw, meaning we get to do something good for a change.
There's also Santos, the Thug. Not starting a fight with him if you meet him is worth a Favor point, though he's more then willing to start a fight with you until people start throwing Magic shit around.
The GM is encouraged to send the party all around to the four NPCs on offer in this chapter. Don't use magic on Sullivan and offer to help the other two NPCs and you'll get max Favor out of this.
The players can also optionally investigate Sunshine. Acquiring it and studying it leads to learning that it's a super-opiate made with Fairy blood. It even has rules for if a character takes it!
The cops and/or Angel and/or other gangs can also get involved while the players are looking to acquire it. In this case, the cops in question have at least one of the Serpent's minions among them, meaning that blasting your way out becomes a-OK. Just don't kill anyone because any sane GM will have the entire police force on your ass.
There's also a potential red herring in the form of a white limo to be looked into, but the big thing to look for in this part of the adventure is Angel's hideout, "The Pitch". Like The Orphanage, there's no finding it with magic because Angel has some mojo of her own and is very protective of her place.
Once the Pitch is found, the players will probably get into a fight with Angel, who is a Fairy herself and may be the one supplying the blood for Sunshine. It is possibly to deal with the situation without fighting, but only by entering the club in disguise as junkies and being very careful what you say. Otherwise, Angel's gonna start huckin' Lightning Bolts around and her wand makes her bolts more powerful. She also has some backup in the form of enchanted human helpers. She'll surrender once she's beaten and will offer up information that's useful for tracking down a guy named Abner who is either the boss or at least high up in this whole Orphanage deal.
So so far, the adventure is okay-nothing amazing, but it has some good moments and gives multiple options. The Orphanage itself is actually really damn good in terms of planning. Abner is definitely the guy in charge and the louder the players were in the search, the more he's prepared. Using magic on the premises also alerts him, and not using magic is tough when Wolves made of Shadow-Shadow Wolves!-attack the party. Unless the party are all Deus Ex masters and can slip in without attracting attention, Abner will be ready.
Once past the guards, both magical and mundane, the party also has to deal with "Hollows" as they descend into the club. I should also mention this place is below sea level, the entrance is down on the docks. Abner is a smart man and is using his Hollows to soften the party up, so a smart GM won't allow any rest, it's push through or nothing. The Hollows themselves are incredibly attractive ladies in maid outfits, by the way. Seriously, how did this game fuck up what could have been so awesome?
Abner himself is an old British fuck, but definitely qualifies for final boss status. He's more magically inclined and will lose in a straight up combat engagement, but his acid spit and ability to summon tons of snakes make up for it. If he's about to go down, he'll try to acid spit the walls and drown the whole damn club. If the party manages to kill him before then, or the acid spit fumbles (a real possibility), then the adventure mentions how the Club can be used as a base of operations once the girls have been rescued and the clients punished-yes, the adventure actually makes the party deal with the aftermath.
All in all, it's not a bad adventure, it has a good sampling of everything the party will need to deal with, and most of all it has some very tangible rewards. Favor gain is solid, but the promise of getting a base is a very good carrot to lead the players along, and some GMs might even neglect to have Abner flood the place just so the players can have a base or two.
But before we go, one more piece of shitty artwork, the back cover.
See you next time, Kiwis.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Also, the ASP news network. It's Fox News, need I say more?
Not to mention that the male newscaster is called Chad.
Incel confirmed?
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2015
The art looks like something made in HeroMachine.