BDSM

[KifflomKween]

I'm making this thread to get the kiwis honest opinions on this.

I'm not into bdsm personally. I don't understand the appeal. I've encountered many who are into this sort of thing, either in the internet or outside, not always calling themselves kinky but being into the dynamic.

I have some questions:
1. Is it just an excuse for sadistic men to get laid while beating the shit out of a mentally ill woman?
2. Why do troons and gays like it so much? Though gays are notorious for being gross they don't inflict even a fraction of the violence and degradation on each other that women in the scene are inflicted.
3. Why is the kink scene so culty? There's even cults that revolve around this stuff.
4. Why do kink people always seem to think they have some profound insight into everyone else and that everyone around them is secretly into kink and just isn't enlightened like they are?
5. Can it actually help someone mentally or is it like giving coccaine and a platform to an addict?
6. Why do women think it's empowering to have some beat the shit out of them?
7. Why are kinky people so loud and insufferable?
8. When they say thag this stuff is only in the bedroom and can't possibly bleed are they lying to get away with being cunts or do they genuinely believe this is true?

My interest in this is mainly how often this overlaps with culty behavior.

 

[Bloitzhole]

I think you're conflating a few things, the most important being people who simply practice what the more vanilla crowd would consider lurid acts in the bedroom, most of which are about exerting and giving up control to one degree or another - and the weirdos who carry their preferences outside the bedroom and inflict themselves upon others.
I'd argue that the latter ticks a lot of the boxes you present (particularly 3,4 and 7), but it's more the part about inflicting your personal shit on others that makes them tick said boxes and less so what specific thing they are into.

 

[KifflomKween]

I think you're conflating a few things, the most important being people who simply practice what the more vanilla crowd would consider lurid acts in the bedroom, most of which are about exerting and giving up control to one degree or another - and the weirdos who carry their preferences outside the bedroom and inflict themselves upon others.
I'd argue that the latter ticks a lot of the boxes you present, but it's more the part about inflicting your personal shit on others that makes them tick said boxes and less so what specific thing they are into.

So you believe bedroom preferences exist in a vaccuum and can't possibly bleed into ones daily life if they don't let them?

 

[Bloitzhole]

So you believe bedroom preferences exist in a vaccuum and can't possibly bleed into ones daily life if they don't let them?

I think I very rarely hear people talk about whether they prefer missionary, doggie, cowgirl or performing/receiving oral - but the same bloke who wouldn't stop alluding to blowjobs over and over, particularly after a drink or two, would also not shut up about whatever kink thing he is into if that was his fixation instead.
You're either the type who lacks social grace, or you're the type who understands what you keep between partners and what you carry outside. The specifics are (largely) irrelevant.

However, I could absolutely see insufferable weirdos who make everyone else part of their fetish being more likely to be into bdsm. But bdsm is not at the start of the causal chain - first and foremost they're insufferable weirdos, the rest follows from there.

 

[KifflomKween]

I think I very rarely hear people talk about whether they prefer missionary, doggie, cowgirl or performing/receiving oral - but the same bloke who wouldn't stop alluding to blowjobs over and over, particularly after a drink or two, would also not shut up about whatever kink thing he is into if that was his fixation instead.
You're either the type who lacks social grace, or you're the type who understands what you keep between partners and what you carry out. The specifics are (largely) irrelevant.

However, I could absolutely see insufferable weirdos who make everyone else part of their fetish being more likely to be into bdsm. But bdsm is not at the start of the causal chain - first and foremost they're insufferable weirdos, the rest follows from there.

So it's less about the thing and more about inflicting it on others? Like a cult.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

My opinion is very simple. I do not see how harming someone you supposedly love is helpful to yourself in any way. Kind of a corruption of the very concept. That’s why we think it’s so “weird” but can’t quite explain why.

So in the event you ever run into someone who may accuse you of “kink shaming”, make sure you have an explanation for why you think it’s gross. What I said above, “I just don’t see how harming someone you love is loving.” and I think that’s a solid one.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

One of -- if not the -- most infamous BDSM freaks was the guy that sadism is named after: Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade.

warning: Reading about him or merely about what he wrote may be NSFL.

 

[KifflomKween]

One of -- if not the -- most infamous BDSM freaks was the guy that sadism is named after: Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade.

warning: Reading about him or merely about what he wrote may be NSFL.

Oh I read most of his stuff. It's some pizzagate tier shit. Says a lot that these people think he was an enlightened philosopher.

 

[Pee Cola]

Who doesn't love Beautiful Days and Sunny Mornings?

 

[Sneed Force One]

It largely revolves around people who seek to satiate their trauma via fetish.
I think some of the "softer" stuff is passable, weird couples are always gonna swing, that shit has been going on since Ancient Athens.
People who want to be whipped into a bruised pear and pissed on are fucked in the head.

 

[Idiotron]

1. Is it just an excuse for sadistic men to get laid while beating the shit out of a mentally ill woman?

6. Why do women think it's empowering to have some beat the shit out of them?

Men beating up women in BDSM seems to be a small minority.
Usually, it's the other way around.
It's women dominating men because men being submissive bitches is a popular fetish.

 

[monk]

keywords: retraumatization, psychopathy, sadism, masochism, narcissism, hedonism

 

[Paper Machete]

It's women dominating men because men being submissive bitches is a popular fetish.

It's actually not, which is why whenever it comes up you're guaranteed to also hear about prostitutes because you have to pay a woman to put up with that.

As for OP's questions, people seem to be thinking of this as whether or not your sexuality can define your personality and if that ends up being front facing. But I think it's more often the other way around. Your personality defines your sexuality, it being very intimate to you, and that's what will lead you. If you have very deviant sexual practices, you will be a deviant person. Because duh. All of these things are on pathways and in clusters, you can't cleanly compartmentalize this stuff even if you'd really like to for the sake of being live and let live like everyone talks about (or protecting your own conscience).

I don't know. I'm very sensitive to people's energies and ways of being and how that can effect you even in ways you don't notice if you stick around them. So to me it seems very obvious. But a lot of people seem to not want to and have really dull instincts so they don't get what the big deal is.

 

[KifflomKween]

It's actually not, which is why whenever it comes up you're guaranteed to also hear about prostitutes because you have to pay a woman to put up with that.

As for OP's questions, people seem to be thinking of this as whether or not your sexuality can define your personality and if that ends up being front facing. But I think it's more often the other way around. Your personality defines your sexuality, it being very intimate to you, and that's what will lead you. If you have very deviant sexual practices, you will be a deviant person. Because duh. All of these things are on pathways and in clusters, you can't cleanly compartmentalize this stuff even if you'd really like to for the sake of being live and let live like everyone talks about (or protecting your own conscience).

I don't know. I'm very sensitive to people's energies and ways of being and how that can effect you even in ways you don't notice if you stick around them. So to me it seems very obvious. But a lot of people seem to not want to and have really dull instincts so they don't get what the big deal is.

Someone who's into fucked up sexual stuff is going to be fucked in the head somehow.

I think masochistic women are a blend of sexual repression, paradoxically they are too afraid of having desires because they think that makes them sluts so easier to just have the man "take it" from them and at the same time being complete degenerates. Every single one of them I've met has been an exhibitionistic cunt. A lot are into self harm. I think kink is just self harm by proxy. What they really want to do is harm others.
Which is funny because they could be sneaky and be like "teehee obviously I'm just hiding what I really want so I can look good and moral and shy and totally not a hoe" but I think, from the ones I've interacted with, they actually genuinely believe they are cute little kawaii girlies who can do no harm. Except if a guy says "go for it", then it's okay because... internalized misogyny.

Which is exactly how these predators keep taking advantage of them but tbh once you really get to know them can't say I feel sorry for them.

 

[Big Shot]

Fifty shades of gray sold 150 million copies (source), I'll let the numbers speak on which gender specifically goons to BDSM

Also

It's women dominating men because men being submissive bitches is a popular fetish.

this.
Men goon to "dommy mommy" fetish far more than the reverse.

In the end, both are coom-induced mental illnesses. So women find out that their BDSM partner is not the billionaire werewolf their schlickfics promised but a sick fuck who enjoys beating women, and men find out that acting pathetic in front of women is a massive turnoff for them instead of making them say ara ara and take care of you like their ecchi animes promised and that you can't turn your woman into a mother-figure who also has sex with you

 

[Not 6 Foot]

Men into domination is usually also linked to issues from childhood. Some dudes also develop it because they're too stupid to just ask their girlfriend or wife to initiate sex more often and, "I want her to come on to me," slowly morphs into, "literally tie me down and all but rape me."
Women tend to be into domination, in general, but usually not actual violence. Anyone, either side, into the actual violent side have many other issues.

BDSM is generally not referred to in a violent way, in most conversations, but it very easily leads to that. The fact that your kink/fetish requires you to surrender complete control to someone else and just trust they won't murder you is concerning, to say the least. I'd say it's simply rooted in massive levels of mental illness, particularly in the case of the LGBTQ crowd (self loathing, etc).

 

[Chunky Salsa]

1. Is it just an excuse for sadistic men to get laid while beating the shit out of a mentally ill woman?

Yes, but also for women to have an excuse to just say "I like when a man is 100% in charge."

2. Why do troons and gays like it so much? Though gays are notorious for being gross they don't inflict even a fraction of the violence and degradation on each other that women in the scene are inflicted.

Because they are both mentally ill predators. Troons and faggots are predators that express their predation through sexual dominance. When a tranny makes you call him 'Sarah' he is literally gooning.

3. Why is the kink scene so culty? There's even cults that revolve around this stuff.

Because it's literally about giving up your agency and autonomy to someone else. That is what a cult is.

4. Why do kink people always seem to think they have some profound insight into everyone else and that everyone around them is secretly into kink and just isn't enlightened like they are?

Because they are morons.

5. Can it actually help someone mentally or is it like giving coccaine and a platform to an addict?

No. Structure, hierarchy and normalcy helps the mentally ill, tying them up and whipping their nipples while they call you "Master Blaster" does not.

6. Why do women think it's empowering to have some beat the shit out of them?

Because they are dumb, and the world is on its head, they - like all women - know how things should be, but refuse to admit it, so they express these extreme versions of it instead.

7. Why are kinky people so loud and insufferable?

Because they are faggots.

8. When they say thag this stuff is only in the bedroom and can't possibly bleed are they lying to get away with being cunts or do they genuinely believe this is true?

Both.

 

[God of Nothing]

1. Is it just an excuse for sadistic men to get laid while beating the shit out of a mentally ill woman?

No

2. Why do troons and gays like it so much? Though gays are notorious for being gross they don't inflict even a fraction of the violence and degradation on each other that women in the scene are inflicted.

Sexual deviancy attracts sexual deviancy

3. Why is the kink scene so culty? There's even cults that revolve around this stuff.

Making something your whole personality is like that

4. Why do kink people always seem to think they have some profound insight into everyone else and that everyone around them is secretly into kink and just isn't enlightened like they are?

They're coomers who think everyone else is a coomer

5. Can it actually help someone mentally or is it like giving coccaine and a platform to an addict?

It can spice up sex.

6. Why do women think it's empowering to have some beat the shit out of them?

They don't and they're retarded
in whatever order

7. Why are kinky people so loud and insufferable?

see answer 3

8. When they say thag this stuff is only in the bedroom and can't possibly bleed are they lying to get away with being cunts or do they genuinely believe this is true?

the fact they talk about it outside is proof that this is false

 

[Necrosan]

2. Why do troons and gays like it so much? Though gays are notorious for being gross they don't inflict even a fraction of the violence and degradation on each other that women in the scene are inflicted.

Kek, do a colonoscopy of a gay man after a weekend and you'll see how wrong you are.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Why the fuck would you talk about anything sexual on kiwifarms?