Disaster Apocalypse Texas 2018 - Texans brace themselves for the winter storm of the decade; there will be no survivors

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As many know, the South has a tradition of flipping its shit every single time the temperature dips below 32°F, without fail, and of course Texas is no exception. With the announcement of a major snow storm scheduled to hit Texas in the wee hours of the morn, let's see how things are shaping up:
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KXAN said:
Expected Accumulations:

  • Freezing Rain & Sleet: Around 1/10 of an inch of freezing rain and sleet accumulation is expected with up to 1/4 of an inch possible
  • Snow: Less than 1/2 inch
Temperatures and Wind Chills:

  • Air temperature dropping into the mid-20s to low 30s by noon Tuesday for much of the area.
  • 25-35 mph wind gusts will produce Wind Chill values Tuesday in the teens to mid-20s. Some single digit wind chill values in the single digits are possible across the Hill Country
  • Low temperatures Wednesday morning in the upper teens to upper 20s
Impacts: Travel is discouraged Tuesday in the Winter Storm Warning area as many roadway surfaces will become slick and dangerous potentially causing vehicle accidents. Exposed outdoor objects, including trees, utility lines, and vehicles will become ice and snow covered. Isolated power outages are possible.

A hard freeze will have a significant impact on sensitive plants and pets. Elderly persons or young children could suffer hypothermia if exposed to a long duration of extremely cold temperatures. Exposed water pipes could break.

Latest model runs show the cold front — and potential freezing rain — to arrive earlier, possibly shortly before midnight.

After a mild Monday in the 60s, and arctic front approaches Monday night, bringing the potential of subfreezing temperatures from Tuesday morning through midday Wednesday (more than 24 hours).

Accompanying the front, there is high confidence that light rain will transition to some type of wintry precipitation: sleet, freezing rain or snow.

Cold showers start Monday night, transitioning to a chance of freezing rain midnight and during the Tuesday commute, possibly mixing in with sleet midday and getting cold enough for pure snow during the afternoon. Temperatures on the ground and above us that change only a few degrees could drastically change the type of precipitation we see, so prepare yourself for all modes of wintry precipitation Tuesday.

This setup has the potential to affect travel and commutes on Tuesday. Stay off the roads in the morning if you can. Tuesday afternoon will be bitterly cold and blustery, forcing bridges and overpasses to cool down more quickly. Most communities will not even climb above freezing (32°) Tuesday afternoon.
http://kxan.com/2018/01/14/tracking-central-texas-third-winter-storm-this-season/

As is typical when such dire inclement weather emerges, schools and businesses all over will remain closed for the day. A good number of police departments are closed too, local news is still awaiting details on the ensuing Purge.
KXAN said:
As school district officials monitor the weather situation, KXAN will update this story as schools make their decision on what to do for Tuesday.

Districts Canceled:

    • Austin ISD
    • Austin Community College
    • Bastrop ISD
    • Blanco ISD
    • Burnet CISD
    • Chaparral Star Academy
    • Concordia University
    • Dimebox ISD
    • Dripping Springs ISD
    • East Austin College Prep
    • Elgin ISD
    • Del Valle ISD
    • Eanes ISD
    • Fayetteville ISD
    • Flatonia ISD
    • Florence ISD
    • Fredericksburg ISD
    • Georgetown ISD
    • Giddings ISD
    • Granger ISD
    • Harper ISD
    • Hays CISD
    • Hutson Tillotson University
    • Hutto ISD
    • IDEA Public Schools
    • Jarrell ISD
    • Johnson City ISD
    • KIPP Academy
    • La Grange ISD
    • Lago Vista ISD
    • Lake Travis ISD
    • Leander ISD
    • Lexington ISD
    • Liberty Hill ISD
    • Llano ISD
    • Lockhart ISD
    • Luling ISD
    • Manor ISD
    • Marble Falls ISD
    • Mason ISD
    • Meridian School
    • New Braunfels ISD
    • Pflugerville ISD
    • Prairie Lea ISD
    • Rockdale ISD
    • Round Rock ISD
    • Round Top-Carmine ISD
    • San Marcos CISD
    • Schulenburg ISD
    • Sacred Heart Catholic School, La Grange
    • Smithville ISD
    • South University Austin
    • St. Edward’s University
    • Taylor ISD
    • The Texas A&M Health Science Center campuses in Round Rock, Temple
    • Texas School for the Deaf
    • Texas State University (San Marcos and Round Rock campus)
    • Thrall ISD
    • University of Texas at Austin
    • Wayside Schools
    • Wimberley ISD
Others Closed:

  • Austin city offices
  • Bastrop County Sheriff Office (not essential employees)
  • Burnet County and City offices
  • Camp Mabry
  • Capital Metro will operate on a Sunday-level service. No MetroRail or MetroExpress services.
  • Dripping Springs City Hall
  • Gillespie County offices
  • Hays County offices
  • Hutto city offices
  • Llano County Offices and City of Llano and City of Sunrise Beach
  • Marble Falls city delayed opening until 10 a.m.
  • Pflugervile city offices
  • Round Rock city offices
  • TCEQ
  • Texas Education Agency
  • Williamson County offices
  • YMCA branches delayed opening until 10 a.m.
http://kxan.com/2018/01/15/school-delays-and-closings-for-tuesday-jan-16/

Stay warm, Texan Kiwis.
 
And then trolls will make more hilarious Gab shoutout names for Ghost to rage at relating to this storm.
 
The snow is only reaching central Texas? That's a big deal? It snowed all the way down into the coastal bend this past December.
 
If Texas overreact anything like the rest of the South does, there will be no eggs, milk, or bread left in any of the supermarkets.
 
Everytime the roads snows and ices over here, the Texas Department of Transport fails to stockpile enough road salt and sand to give traction, and there ends up being lots of cars abandoned on roadside due to retards not knowing how to drive over ice.
 
Everytime the roads snows and ices over here, the Texas Department of Transport fails to stockpile enough road salt and sand to give traction, and there ends up being lots of cars abandoned on roadside due to exceptional individuals not knowing how to drive over ice.

that was new york. Beside not knowing how to drive, traction at the rear instead of front is clearly not helping.
 
Let's see... pulling up my tablet, firing up my Nat'l Weather Service app...

Presently it is -17 where I am at, wind chill makes it feel like -36.

...Texas, you beautiful, sweet summer child. You have my sympathies.
 
It's happened before, and the year before that, skipped a year or two and happened a year before that, we had the worst storms in 2000 and 1995....yeah I think we'll handle it.
 
Thing is the faster it spins, the less traction you have. This exceptional individual has the gas pedal to the bottom. No ice driving experience. Just look how easy it is for it to back up on the sidewalk.
Not only that but that's why second gear in some cars exists, it's so you can drive in weather like that without accidentally giving it too much gas. Slamming the gas in this kind of situation is exceptional.
 
Having lived in both, this is legit. Southern people are used to having good, easily maintained roads and having our vehicles easily and conveniently last for ten to twenty years with minimal effort, and having surface driving conditions be pristine most of the time. Which is why much of the South just doesn't bother buying new cars that often, and we drive however fucking fast we please, and even frequently speed when its raining. It's easy, its enjoyable, and its horribly inconvenient to our lack of patience to not speed.

So whenever snow hits in the South, its fucking with people who despise the idea of getting up even earlier just to compensate for weather, and who are used to year round good enough conditions to do freeway speeds wherever the fuck one pleases when traffic is light. We don't do 9-5 in the South, we do 6-3 and spend the remaining sunlight doing whatever.

Ever wanted to know why all the speeders videos come out of the South? That's why.
 
In 2 days I've gotten 10" of snow, and thanks to the plows have a snow bank in front of my house 3 FEET tall.
Texas might get some freezing rain or a dusting of snow?
I have approximately ZERO fucks to give.
 
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