Amusing Engrish from Item Listings

[Ventrue]

Life & Flower
I'm just a flower,
waiting for belong to me only sunshine.


THE DOG MUST RAIN


Gold doesn't exchange for blowing pipes kid

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

I don't have a picture, but I've got a pair of wireless headphones obviously made in China. I know this, because every time the battery gets low it says "prease cha-ging" in my ear.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This isn't Engrish, but this eBay feedback-leaver has the most reasonable use case for tritium signal dots:

I don't think he's being cute and talking about a gun in code. That's a picture of a specially-designed, tactical backscratcher mount.

 

[Ventrue]

It dissolves the body with
a sip of freshness


Carrots for the corn from what virus


Maybe,
...for hang yourself.
...for hang someone.
...for hang something.
...for rilax.

I thought the hook was used to hang clothes and they just had a funny way of selling it. I couldn't figure out what the second picture was suppose to be that says "someone", that was until I noticed the sticker "Love Merci", so I looked up what "Love Merci" means and it's an adult store in Japan.

Selling hooks as sex toys seems a little knifey spoony to me.

"You call that a sex toy? This is a sex toy! *Pulls out a spoon.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The wall cracks​

and the​

chapter​

Cat hair storage bottle PLUS!​

BIG

A Remarkable​

Method for Getting​

a Gigantic​

Penis​

Perfect for Men with​

Small Penis and Sexual​

Inexperience​

​

eBay has something for everyone

 

[The Decimator]

There’s a Chinese place near my house called Great Tangs that hands out brochures with directions on how to get there. According to the brochures, you can find them next to “Auto Adrance Port” (Advance Auto Parts) and “Price Chooper” (Price Chopper).

 

[krazy orange cat]

If your baby is shaped like a resin mixer, Amazon cannot help you.

 

[Ventrue]

I AM A PIG THAT
WILL BE CALLED.
OINK!
OINK!
I want to call me and grab my belly.


jealousy


Larger Space Uses More Heart
Refuse aged woman to steam baby delicate skin

 

[krazy orange cat]

Instructions inside a box of alcohol inks:

(The pointed bottle cap does not need to cut the bottle mouth, and the cylindrical bottle cap needs to cut the bottle mouth before use.) If you need to cut the bottle mouth, please wrap the bottle mouth with a paper towel and cut together to prevent the ink from splashing.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Cat collar
Even more playmates


chirping
tit cat toy

Chip!​

PLEASE STOP VIOLENT NASAL
CLEANING IMMEDIATELY


The tongue does not numb. If oral sex is required., it is recommended to apply evenly and massage until 30 minute after absorption and then rinse with water. It is not easy to be found.

 

[Aunt Carol]

MANTAL HEALTH MATTERS

 

[Aunt Carol]

This is not Engrish; I just wanted to show you.

$15 is way too much for these in 2025; for that price I'd expect five of them, so I could put one head on every finger of a glove.

 

[krazy orange cat]

$15 is way too much for these in 2025; for that price I'd expect five of them, so I could put one head on every finger of a glove.

Especially since the batteries expired at least two years ago.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

View attachment 8008807
Maybe,
...for hang yourself.
...for hang someone.
...for hang something.
...for rilax.

I thought the hook was used to hang clothes and they just had a funny way of selling it. I couldn't figure out what the second picture was suppose to be that says "someone", that was until I noticed the sticker "Love Merci", so I looked up what "Love Merci" means and it's an adult store in Japan.

Selling hooks as sex toys seems a little knifey spoony to me.

"You call that a sex toy? This is a sex toy! *Pulls out a spoon.

I thought the same thing when I posted it, then I started thinking, maybe it wasn't a mistake...
(from a tastefully censored(???) ebay listing)


If you want to know more about the load bearing implications of this item then visit your local library and google "anal hook". Be careful though, if you google "butt hook" you get a firearms-thing and the librarian with a nose ring will force you to leave.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Anal sex for gay sex
I guess that's like sucking dick for cock

 

[Ventrue]

Real-time Detection
Triple Alerts

Three
Alarm Modes
Sound
Glitter
Shock


BOOK
crew sock

One Size
Fits Most
High Quality
Cotton
Stay Up
Cuff
Smooth Toe
Seam
Comfort
Hell


Are you facing
these problems?

Bad taste Thickening Area enlarged

It's for a blue laser nail fungus removal pen.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Bad taste

I guess if people are complaining about how your toes taste, you're in the kind of job/relationship where that kind of thing matters, QED.

If they're trying to describe itching, the foot laser people probably would have been better off using the term "Comfort Hell."

 

[Aunt Carol]

CONCEPTUAL DESIGN
The open perspective is easy to observe the changes around you when eating, so as to avoid danger in time, and enjoy the food with your friends leisurely. Increase trust in feeding.



The copy seems pretty normal at first, until you realize it's pitching the feeding station directly to the feral cat.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I don't have a picture, but I've got a pair of wireless headphones obviously made in China. I know this, because every time the battery gets low it says "prease cha-ging" in my ear.

Mine too, and the volume of the message is 37 times louder than the actual music so it jumpscares me every time. They also stopped charging after a year, I need to get some non-Chinesium headphones

Thread tax:

 

[Aunt Carol]

There's a lot going on with these knee things.


Wearing inside is not bloated
One has the demeanor also has the temperature one

Send Mom and Dad
Choose a good kneepad

No leg, no slide
New upgraded widened beam

Bionic anti-slip design
Bold vertical grain anti-skid principle