At her size & the fact that she's been obese+ all her life, 30 is easily half her probable lifespan. She's hitting 30 & what does she have to show for it? A string of failed relationships; most of which were toxic to begin with, with completely messed up balances of power between the partners. If she has real friends - where are they? Her family? Her Mom showed up before her surgery & returned to her own life afterwards. For all Amber's gushing about the renewed relationship, there's been little mention of her mother since; not even a mere: "Mom's doing well."
Her health issues, current & inevitably looming are too numerous to mention & have been discussed ad nauseum.
She doesn't have a life, nothing with any of the depth & richness of experience you'd expect a person almost 30 would be starting to reflect upon & appreciate. She lives a vacuous existence full of grandiose expectations of: "Some day, I'll..." If you had tyo pick a rock to represent her, she'd be the flat pebble that skips across the surface of the water.
She may be a narcissist but has no genuine self respect or feeling of self worth. It seems as though she can't even contemplate improving her own life until she feels a semblance of self worth.
What she doesn't understand is you don't wake up one morning, (or afternoon in her case). feeling good about yourself & prepared to tackle improvements you want to; need to make. That self worth & self respect, when you weren't raised as a child to have it, is gained by slowly, sometimes painfully, doing the things you need to do to improve your physical, mental & emotional health. When you've put in the hard yards & are seeing improvements - THAT results in feeling better about yourself & your life. And the continued work, the slow but steady improvements - that 'earns' you some self respect.
30 years old & she's still skittering away from any attempts at creating for herself the kind of well rounded, experiential life most her age work hard to build; no meaningful work that produces a useful product or service, no community engagement to benefit those around her, no culturing healthy family relationships or friendships, no intellectual curiosity.... just a fat, vapid nothing of an existence.
I'd feel sorry for her if she had even an inkling of a glimmering that at 30, life should be more than coloring books & LEGO sets meant for pre-teens. I'd feel sorry for those in her orbit if they were any less self serving & ruthless than she is. Thankfully, there are no genuine innocents around to be tainted by her toxic presence.
She'll be lying on her death bed, on her way out & instead of reflecting on a decent life & even the most ordinary of lives can be very decent & productive; she'll have on her face her patented puzzled look & will die in the middle of saying: "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuut???" as she does when she truly doesn't understand something.
Sadly, I suppose; she's totally misunderstood life.
