The Gorlworld Address attempt 1
So, like, four score and seven years ago (which, I had to Google what that means, and it’s, like, 87 years—wild), our founding fathers, who, honestly, I don’t know much about because history was not my forte, brought forth this, like, nation or whatever, dedicated to freedom and equality, which, love that for them.
Now, we are, like, in this huge war, which is honestly so crazy, testing whether this nation—or, like, any nation—can even, like, survive. And, I’m standing here on this battlefield, and it’s, like, super sad because, um, a lot of people, like, died here? Which, I literally cannot. But we’re here to dedicate part of this land as a place for them, which is super respectful and iconic.
But, like, real talk, we can’t actually dedicate this land because, like, the people who fought here already did that? Like, they really did the thing, and, um, we can’t outdo that energy. The world is gonna remember what they did here, not what I’m saying—which, like, thank god because, um, I’m bad at speeches.
So, basically, we all just need to, like, step up and continue the work these people fought for. Because, like, democracy? We love that. And we can’t let it, like, die or whatever.
Okay, thank you for listening, and if you made it this far, leave a comment below!
The Gorlworld Address attempt 2
So, like, four score and seven years ago (which, I had to Google, and it means 87 years, which is, like, so long—wild), our founding fathers brought forth this nation, dedicated to freedom and equality, which, honestly, love that for them.
Now we are, like, in this hecticana of a war, and it’s honestly so crazy because it’s, like, testing if this country can even survive. And I’m standing here, literally shaking, because we’re dedicating this battlefield as, like, a place to honor the people who, um, did the thing. And, I’m not gonna cry, but, like, they really gave their all, and that’s just… I can’t even.
But, like, real talk? We can’t actually dedicate this land, because the people who fought here already did that. Like, we think we’re doing something, but they did the real work. The world is gonna remember them, not my little speech, which, like, thank God, because I literally cannot handle the pressure.
So, basically, we all just need to, like, step up and finish what they started. Because, like, democracy? We stan. And we can’t let it, like, die or whatever.
Okay, thank you for listening, and if you made it this far, leave a comment below on what you think Lincoln would order in a mukbang. Personally, I feel like he’d be so into a little cornbread moment.
