🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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crawl said:
It sounded to me like her main reasoning for leaving Wisconsin was the cold, which is extra fucked for leaving your 'furbaby' out there to freeze to die.
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It was, but it's much more specific than that. There are no winter boots in the world to fit her. They couldn't even fit her with a medical boot when her ankle was dangleen.

I know people like to think of her as a housebound lazy ass, but she isn't. She loves to go to stores and point at shit and teach all you can eat buffets a lesson they will never forget.

You cannot venture out in winter in a place like WI without proper footwear. It was the shoes. The shoooooes.
 
A couple of times she's mentioned how she tried wrapping presents with double stick tape and lol hectic all the presents got stuck together goise!

How fucking retarded do you have to be to not reahluize that you can put the tape under the edges of the paper rather than using it like regular scotch tape?
 
I can't seem to figure this one out, why isn't she sending the stuff she wont wear back? She hoard like a dragon but instead of gold she just made her own personal landfill out of sweatshop clothes.

Even Anna send stuff back but this lady just keep piling it up? Has she ever given a explanation for this or is it the delusion "I'll use it when I lose weight"? That still don't explain the ones she gets in the "wrong colour'.
Don't they have "leave at door" delivery in the satetea so you don't even have to leave the house?

Thank you in advance dear ladies because she makes absolutely no sense.

Eta: when you start hearing her shuffling around the floor you can't never un-hear it.
Bitch be LOUD
 
spergsperg55 said:
Mamalynn is demented confirmed. Huh I guess doing all that meth wasn't a good idea...
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I hope she has enough cognitive function currently to use that to her advantage. Stuff like raging out at Amber, and then pretending after to have no memory of it. Didn't Amber say that you HAVE to forgive people for things like this because they can't help mental illness?

StrawberryDouche said:
It was, but it's much more specific than that. There are no winter boots in the world to fit her. They couldn't even fit her with a medical boot when her ankle was dangleen.
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She could have gotten mukluks made that could have fit those staypuff ankles. I think it's more along the lines that Amber's too damn lazy and CHEAP to put ANY effort or money into workarounds for her size - except when it comes to acquiring food.

Terfatron said:
I can't seem to figure this one out, why isn't she sending the stuff she wont wear back? She hoard like a dragon but instead of gold she just made her own personal landfill out of sweatshop clothes.
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Dunno. She's NEVER returned the stuff that didn't fit. I've heard people speculate that she's too stupid or lazy to figure out how to do returns. She does seem to get a kick out of pushing people to take her cast-offs (the current victim, er, I mean, recipient is Kristine). Maybe she does it so she can then push that person for favours, and then throw it in their face that she gave them all of this expensive clothing when they try to refuse? Maybe it makes her feel celebrity rich to be surrounded in this trash? Dunno, she's an enigma wrapped in a riddle, held together by cheapo leggeeeens.


This video was yet more rage-bait. It's painfully obvious that Amber has no intention of having a good relationship with her audience, and goes out of her way to sour things with everyone who has anything to do with her because she's a completely unlikable cunt.

For those who didn't watch the archive, her meal involved putting giant globs of full fat cream cheese (1-2 Tbsp per bite) onto the 1 1/2" end of a green onion, and then rolling that into dried out burnt bacon crumbles before shoving it into her mouth. She probably ate near half a tub of cheese in just the few bites she showed. This has to be the most fatfuck "concoction" she's come up with in a while. I guess Emily is asking for more and more disgusting content from Ambo in order to stay remotely interested.

The Ankle decided to respond to Amber's "Fan Art" section of her vlog with an image that he found:
Ambo.png


And while we're at it, let's see what other fan art horrors can be found online...
(Disclaimer: none of these were created by me, but rather were all shamelessly stolen from the internet)

Ambo2.jpeg
Good proportions and stench lines, though an abundance of stench lines should have been drawn south of the equator (if ya know what I mean...)

Ambo3.jpg
Everyone mistakes her for a teenager, y'all!!!! (She looks like Kristine's older sister in this one)

Ambo4.jpg
This is my favourite. The simplicity of the art style along with the accuracy of the proportions are great!

Ambo5.png

And the scariest of all... What Ambo sees every time she looks in a mirror!
 
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So bacon wrapped cream cheese is it? Good Lord, we are at state fair levels of fart slop eating. Id say to just batter and deep fry it, but she is way too lazy to go that extra mile.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
She could have gotten mukluks made that could have fit those staypuff ankles. I think it's more along the lines that Amber's too damn lazy and CHEAP to put ANY effort or money into workarounds for her size - except when it comes to acquiring food.
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Oh come on. I don't know where you live that there's a cobbler making custom made winter boots from the sole up, but this isn't the middle ages or Savile Row.

*If* this relationship lasts until after the spring thaw, she'll be back to stink up Wisconsin when it's Wommart flats weather.
 
She didn't even come up with that green onion slop lol, it was a tiktok viral video way back at thanksgiving. Once again, she's completely unoriginal.

Also peep her mentioning how it would be a "hulthy option" for a kids snack. Trying to show emily that she can totally play stepmommy?
 
Milking potential memory problems then giving some bullshit insurance thing which isn't how it works. As someone who knows those with early onset dementia, and knowing amberlynn never correctly helping (and sometimes plaine neglecting) memory care patients when she was "working" at the place with Becky, I hope Amberlynn has everything taken from her. I'm MATI as fuck. She has no fucking idea how hard holidays are with actual family members who are taken from you as a disease, just a shell of a person they once were. But if mamalynn decides to just get checked out, better start blasting that for sympathy (and to distract from the rest of the problems amber is the source of.

Notice how this also comes after Amber said her foster mom died and was tearing her up (which she only said a month after the fact, didn't go to the funeral, and used to get the rarity death off her back temporarily).

What's next? She comes back to say how hard it was to hear her brother / dad or w.e. we're in and out of jail?

Kill yourself you fat cunt. I hope everything, including mamalynn is taken from you since you seem to wish for these fucking things. Disgusting piece of shit.
 
StrawberryDouche said:
Oh come on. I don't know where you live that there's a cobbler making custom made winter boots from the sole up, but this isn't the middle ages or Savile Row.

*If* this relationship lasts until after the spring thaw, she'll be back to stink up Wisconsin when it's Wommart flats weather.
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Somewhere cold. I wouldn't call them cobblers - companies like this:
Not cheap, though - and probably more if they had to make the leg part of your boots the size of a 5 GALLON BUCKET. She could afford it, but no way would Amber spend hundreds of dollars that could have gone to DoorDash. Or delay gratification by waiting several months just to get something to cover her stinky trotters. Still, a sensible person *could* have done this with relative ease - and without a time machine or a plane ticket to England...
...But a sensible person also wouldn't eat themselves to over 500lbs and out of standard off-the-rack boots, so I guess that point is moot.

Honestly, I don't really care whether it's frostbite that takes her feet or Lord 'Beetus. I'm just mentioning these because stuff like this does exist, and can be really comfy and warm - especially for long, dry winters that just don't want to end.

Anyway, back to Ambo. What do you think her end goal is with just postponing the relationship until the spring? Winter comes back around every year. I doubt Emily has any intent to sell her house and move, so if Amber's attempt is to latch onto Emily forever and ever... she's going to be in this exact same mess within about 10-11 months time. It took Amber a LONG time to find this caretaker - the odds of her finding another seem slim. Do you think she's just being a smoothbrain and ignoring that eventuality, as winter coming back is next year's problem? Or do you think at the rate she's going that she anticipates being completely bedbound by winter 2025 and coats/footwear won't be an issue anymore?
 
Boolean Bitch said:
What do you think her end goal is with just postponing the relationship until the spring?
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Could just be a status thing. Taken, but without having to reciprocate human emotions. And free feebie vacations every winter like how King Cobra's family goes to that wolf lodge Waterpark thing except FAT AL is the water slide and the children are hotdogs, pizza, and chicken wings.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
Still, a sensible person *could* have done this with relative ease -
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Boolean Bitch said:
Somewhere cold. I wouldn't call them cobblers - companies like this:
https://www.northernheartdesigns.com/catalog/mukluks-custom-made
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In the case of custom orders, individuals are invited to submit their actual foot tracing to have them custom patterned to foot shape as well as size. This is a complimentary service we offer with all our custom made footwear.
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Production times on custom orders vary, and usually settle around the five to seven month mark but can stretch longer during peak season. Mukluk orders confirmed by March 31st will be in line for fall delivery. Christmas cut-off is June 30th.
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No, you're right. If she had just thought ahead when she invaded in September, she could have traced around her ankle balls and had proper winter shoes from Canada by the time she didn't need them anymore in April.

If she has just thought ahead.
 
a hapless toad said:
A couple of times she's mentioned how she tried wrapping presents with double stick tape and lol hectic all the presents got stuck together goise!

How fucking retarded do you have to be to not reahluize that you can put the tape under the edges of the paper rather than using it like regular scotch tape?
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Hey hapless toad, where did your post about Hamber's brother returning to jail go?
 
Im sure MomLynn's bullshit brain has nothing to do with all the meth the bitch smoked, nah not at all, just like Amber's impending stroke.
 
So she showed us all the junk she bought her mom, but where are the gifts for her dad an brother, the ones she was crying about two weeks ago? It's almost like she just wanted pity and doesn't really care about them.
 
Hot CILF in your area said:
mixes her plain cream cheese, slathers it on assorted vegetables (green onion, celery and bell pepper), uses that to dab up some bacon bits and then eats that shit.
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They way she said, with her whole chest, "fun to do with kids because I feel it's a healthier option" was what made me click off.
Like sure, one or twice as a snack with Thanksgiving, absolutely but we know that's not what she mean. She honestly belive because its a scallion involved it's ✨️healthy✨️.
When she says stuff like this it's such a testament that she truly don't know what "healthy" means.
I get it, queen of nutrients over here but seriously? :ratface:
 
Yeah, her memory issues are so bad that Amber still wants her to drive her everywhere.

This bitch is actually trying to milk or lie about having family members with memory problems? I'm only assuming that she's lying because she's clearly lying about that appointment being canceled.

As someone who has seen and experienced close loved ones/immediate family suffer with dementia: Fuck you, Amber. Go choke on those Little Debbies.
 
How is it that everytime Amber or a family member interacts with a medical office, an issue arises? I remember like 4 times during the Jade era, the appointment she was going to got canceled 15 minutes before and now it’s happened to her mom. Her mom probably got the time wrong because why would they wait till right before to notice an insurance issue.

Speaking of doctors, how is Ambers kidney stone? Is it still “just chilling”?
 
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