🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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I honestly hope Tommy Slommy is real and that shes a drinker like Jade was. A flushed cackling drunk livestream again could really liven things up
 
Calling the new caretaker Tommy Slommy reminds me of an old MadTV skit about a porn actors' registration office that at the end of it has a pizza delivery arrive and say, "Got a large salami for Tommy. Tommy? Salami?".

Now that memory has been tainted and all I can think of is hamber waddling into frame and saying that on one of her thirst-toks.
 
Flan Pwincess said:
Calling the new caretaker Tommy Slommy reminds me of an old MadTV skit about a porn actors' registration office that at the end of it has a pizza delivery arrive and say, "Got a large salami for Tommy. Tommy? Salami?".

Now that memory has been tainted and all I can think of is hamber waddling into frame and saying that on one of her thirst-toks.
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Tommy could show up and a horrifed Amber discovers that Tommy does in fact have a "salami" for her. Are you ready for Tommy's slommy, Ambo?
(:cryblood: 🤮 Yeah, that was terrible, but this whole story - if not completely fabricated - is absolute lunacy)

maybe a pigeon said:
Anyway, what if Amber is out thirst-trapping all over Tik Tok and Instagram and gets contacted by a foreign woman who wants a green card? For all we know, this woman, if she does actually exist (which is a big if) is giving her a virtual "sucky sucky five dollar" line of bullshit, and it will all end up spectacularly messy.
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You know, there's still hope that this could be a Nigerian romance scammer. Amber bought the ticket for "Tommy" (TAHIR), but "she" was unfortunately detained in Turkey by customs before she could board her connecting flight for trying to bring over the gold bars and diamonds that she received as payment for her most recent oil rig gig and put in her carry on bag. They'll just be a slight delay before we can meet Tahir- er, Tommy, because Amber will first have to hire a lawyer for Tommy to be released, pay the official Turkish government permit to transport precious metals and gems, and the fee for the shipping company to deliver it to Amber's "package room" in her apartment complex.

Yes, I'm shitposting. But in all seriousness, I wouldn't be surprised if Amber has actually gotten caught up with a scammer at some point, based on how she seeks out new partners online only and with such desperation. I mean, remember how Amber thought that the stupid newspaper advertisement she got was a real lottery ticket and she won?
 
Lidl Drip said:
The phone purse is hilarious, unfortunately it will never be seen again. I would love to see her waddle around with that outside.
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TheCakeIsALie said:
Tbh a supermodel dressed in a cool black outfit would make that look amazing but on Amber, it just emphasizes how huge she is
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WTF is wrong with you? NGL, I don’t mind the dinosaur purse, but not as a shelf “ordament”. I have a feisty 5 year old niece who would love that. The phone bag though, she wouldn’t even know what that is supposed to be! It’s decades out of kids knowledge.
 
Peepeekakaland said:
Tommy's Giirl. Are we REALLY doing this again? Does this person not have an identity? First bambi now this shit. How can a 33 year old person be this childish. What a pathetic fucking loser
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It's WILD to me that this stupid fat bitch has no clue who she herself is. She's just an empty, useless pile of lard. No personality, no hopes, dreams or aspirations. She is only who she's around at the time. Her real self is too much of a piece of shit to be around. Imagine basing your entire fucking existence on others. That would be trash, but so is she so..
 
I call shenanigans said:
WTF is wrong with you? NGL, I don’t mind the dinosaur purse, but not as a shelf “ordament”. I have a feisty 5 year old niece who would love that. The phone bag though, she wouldn’t even know what that is supposed to be! It’s decades out of kids knowledge.
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For a photo shoot, it could look cute. That’s what I was picturing. As an actual item? No
 
I call shenanigans said:
WTF is wrong with you? NGL, I don’t mind the dinosaur purse, but not as a shelf “ordament”. I have a feisty 5 year old niece who would love that. The phone bag though, she wouldn’t even know what that is supposed to be! It’s decades out of kids knowledge.
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I can see the dinosaur purse being a choice but not for Amber. An accent purse if you wanna cosplay as a Lolita for a con or go full tilt harajuku and make that your entire aesthetic. Amber bought that purse because shooo cyuuuute and she loves dinosaurs - remember, she’s a real dinosaur fan guise - but not only is that purse barely functional because I doubt she can get her giant phone or wallet in it, bet money it’s never gonna leave that shelf.

I’m inclined to agree with you that it is, indeed, a children’s purse.
 
The dinosaur purse is cute but just not very functional, unless you're one of those who doesn't take many things when you leave the house. She's just never going to use it, which is unfortunate because it deserves to see the light of day I think. Its not even going on display, just into the closet void. Rip tricerapurse.
 
Could she even name the dinosaur that purse is poorly trying to represent, since she's such a dInOsAuR GirLiE?
 
Shitted Scaredless said:
The dinosaur purse is cute but just not very functional, unless you're one of those who doesn't take many things when you leave the house. She's just never going to use it, which is unfortunate because it deserves to see the light of day I think. Its not even going on display, just into the closet void. Rip tricerapurse.
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A purse like that is meant to be cute, not functional. With the size of smartphones these days and the size of women’s wallets, that purse wouldn’t hold much more than a set of house keys. It’s a night out purse more than anything - phone, cash/cards, ID and keys. And we all know Amber doesn’t go anywhere
 
Come on bulldyke Tommy, get to OK. Who gives a fuck about what she could use a dinosaur purse for? Or why she bought it? It's Amber. She goes to the store or bingo with Mommy if she earns enough stickers. It a fucking ridiculous purse. To match her other ridiculous purses.
 
Can we stop discussing this fat cunts purse that she (caretaker) will inevitably throw in some goodwill or dumpster? Do I need to start a Trump debate in here?

Hamby is just busy guise, she’s preoccupied with eating out with Tommy. Think of that carefully. ✂️
 
Skinless Nugget said:
Could she even name the dinosaur that purse is poorly trying to represent, since she's such a dInOsAuR GirLiE?
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I think it's less about being a dinosaur girlie-pop and more about her degenerate, poorly disguised age-play fetish. New Mommy Tommy is going to need to see Amberlynn's juvenile-ness in person, so she's getting all this stupid Temu-flavoured pink tat, just like the phone purse. It'll collect dust just like her expert layyyygos.
 
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