I don't disagree with a lot of what Amber said re: foster care and people being allowed to change their behavior and move on away from it to become better people.
I see that to some degree (and I agree with everything you said re: Amber and her addictive substances and troubling behaviour around her mom).
Thing is, there are some things that are just unforgivable, and I don't feel that the wrong-doer is entitled to forgiveness/trust of others they've wronged (or of people who've been wronged in a similar manner). And while any of them CAN change, the harsh reality is that most DON'T (1 out of 20, or 5%, maintain long-term sobriety and improve their lives, yet many/all of those in the bottom 95% are the ones who LOVE to beat you over the head with the "ANYONE can change" line and feel entitled to your trust/more chances). And it can be really tough because while it's true that these drugs do alter behavioural patterns, it's also true that certain personality disorders (such as a couple of disorders in the cluster B group), are more reckless and impulsive, which can DRIVE THEM TO DRUG USE. So, is your addict a horrible person BECAUSE of drug use, or were they already a horrible person who decided to engage in risky behaviours such as drug use and are now an addict? It's a real mess.
I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on with Amber and her mom. I'm just saying that there are a lot of elements to these things, and it's tough to really just be firmly in one camp or the other.
It's just that for so long, Amber had an absolute hate-boner for her mom. Back in the Destiny days, she talked about being born on drugs (Tammie denied that and I don't know whether it's true or not, but thought I should add this for the full context). Amber adamently refused to even mail her mother a 'Thinking of You' card when Kristine was battling cancer in the detention centre medical ward, all due to Amber's childhood. Even as little as a couple of WEEKS before Amber's cancer Dx, Amber was making sobbing "I don't have a mother" TikToks/shorts/whatever. And keep in mind that this was when Kristine already had years of sobriety under her belt, and was likely the exact same person she is now. AMBER DIDN'T CARE. And after Amber's cancer journey was over, she seemed to mostly put her mother out of her life again until Jade dumped her and Amber desperately needed a new caretaker.
And don't forget that every goddamned tick and twitch and quirk and "angzite" that Amber CONSTANTLY complains about having has been blamed on her shitty and neglectful upbringing. Everything Amber's claimed - her OCD, OCPD, MDD, BD, BPD, panic disorder, anxiety, night terrors, "memory holes", fear of men, history of sexual assault (as she's described it), and of course her crippling O-B-C-D ... none of which she can move past and ALL OF THEM which, according to Amber, stem from the actions/inactions of her mother and father. She is STILL completely unable to function as an adult due to these things that happened "two decades ago". Yet here she is shaming
US for not just blindly accepting that Kristine's totally different now and what's in the past is in the past. It's like, Bitch, subconsciously YOU DON'T ACCEPT THAT EITHER! Or else you would have been able to work through at least SOME of your issues by now.
I could understand it if Amber was somewhat honest and admitted that she still doesn't know how she feels about Kristine, but that she wants a connection with her mother (and admits that she needs more assistance than she lets on), and she's trying to make the most of a bad situation. But to suddenly try and gaslight her audience with something to the effect of this St Kristine bullshit when she was villifying the women seemingly just the other day rubs me the wrong way. It just feels really manipulative - even for Amber.