🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Surprised Pikachu said:
It’s just so bloody unnecessary. If you can door dash your dinner you can door dash anything. There’s ZERO reason for Mommy to be chauffeuring piglet around other than she wants to / is obligated / pressured into it. There’s a limit to how much entertaining of a ‘guest’ you can do, and Mom must be reaching hers.

Stop being such a dependent useless lump Amber and get your life together. I swear she’s regressing to ‘tweenager’ looking at the state of her appearance, her stupid tiktoks and her dependence on Mommy. None of this is cute. She needs to start smoking meth and chasing crackheads, maybe she should call Nader she needs SOMETHING to revive this dead horse of a channel she is beating. It’s just so… FAT.
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Why should she put more effort into content when she gets paid well enough for what she shits out?
 
A redditor noticed how thin her hair has gotten in the last 5 years
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Nobody with half a brain is going to believe this sad attempt at appearing relevant, TLC desperately wants her but she's too skinny you guys!!! Ah, I saw someone mention (not sure where) how she's using that bloody coat as ''proof'' she goes outside and does things and then just happens to leave it on when she gets back.. Hit the nail on the head.

Good God, no more ''pluviophile'' shut the fuck up. So boring and pathetic. MUH EMOTIONAL, MUH EX.

She can't even show Rarity attention without glancing at herself in the viewfinder. Gross.
 
Plot Summary with Commentary, readable in under 3 minutes1 When we last left our Witless wonder, Amber was blathering about perfume and filling her fridge with vegetables to go rotten while she orders fast food delivery for every meal. "Am I going to be on TLC?, broke no contact with my ex, & I'm going viral on tiktok". Hey, I can answer those right now: no, who cares, and who cares... I still have to watch this, don't I? Alright, take us in!

Ceiling-shot weigh-in of 517.8lbs (pannus on the towel rack). She's up 2 lbs from the 1st, and blames it on eating Jack in the Box on the night of the 1st. So on the first day of being on track, she ordered Jack in the Box.

I guess we have to wait for a January 1st that's a Monday on a year that ends in a '0' for the weight loss magic to happen.

JUMPCUT!! Hurpling action with Twinkie. 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

JUMPCUT!! Stupid poop bun. Amber films herself trying to mop in order to pad out the video.

JUMPCUT!! Amber works on her Astro Boy Robot building block kit. Amber explains the function of the brick-puller tool. Amber states she doesn't need it, as she pulls the blocks apart using her teeth.

Doing laygoes with long nails is rully hard you guize.... yeah, because they are intented for CHILDREN.

[PLACARD: next day]

Ceiling-shot weigh-in: 516.4lbs (pannus on the towel rack). Amber claims she was on track the day before. Something something lymphedema.

JUMPCUT!! Cooking chicken sausage and broccoli and snacking on radishes.

[PLACARD: next day]

Ceiling-shot weigh-in: 514.6lbs (pannus on the towel rack - though it did kinda sound like the scale said 540.6lbs). Amber claims she was on track the day before.

JUMPCUT!! In the closet. Amber claims that TLC has contacted Amber "more times than I can count" and that she's done quite a few interviews for different tv shows. Amber claims that she was getting ready to up and move last year for one. Amber claims that TLC recently contacted her, but ended up talking to instagram accounts that were using Amber's face, and that's how people found out. It was for a new TV show with Dr Now, but they rejected her because the people on the show need to be 550lbs or heavier, and that excludes our dainty queen.

[So, last time she wasn't train-wrecky enough, and this time she wasn't heavy enough. Yeah, this whole story stinks to me, too. Show emails or it didn't happen]

"How is 516lbs not heavy enough to be on one of these types of shows? I feel like I need as much help as someone who's 550lbs". Fuck off, Amber. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE last year with the Georgetown Bariatrics (or whatever that clinic was called), and you refused to even maintain the required 1 lb of weight loss. Remember how you threw a tantrum at them having your wait for surgery, then quit because you balked at the idea of them removing a portion of your stomach? Kiwi Farms remembers...

"I have all the tools; I know all the tools; I have all the knowledge; I've done this millions of times before. Like, I know how to lose weight, but for some reason I don't put those things into action". So why do you think a TV show would change that?

Weight loss is LITERAL torture!

JUMPCUT!! On the couch, blathering about an Amazon order she tried to overnight. "Problem ah-cured".

Jacket blathering to pad out the video.

TikTok blathering. She's going viral on a video! 2K views away from 1 million. Amber's going to keep the comments on and actually respond to a couple in order to manipulate the algorithm keep in contact with her audience that she loves so much!

JUMPCUT!! Hurpling outside, pretending to walk Twinkie. It's raining, which is super weird since it JUST DOESN'T EVER RAIN IN OKLAHOMA.

Insert 'pluviophile' comment.

JUMPCUT!! Back on the couch, blathering about Drew Barrymore. Emotional because she's been thinking about her ex (yes, the skinny, blonde, pale actress reminds Amber of her tattooed shotput champion). Amber broke no contact by texting Jade on January 2nd after being unable to stop thinking about her since November 1st (when she first went no contact). Amber got no replay - because Jade went no contact LONG BEFORE NOVEMBER 1st.

It tears Amber to pieces.

[PLACARD: 10 minutes later]

Amber has a sadz and decides to end the vlog and- RARITY!! 2 of 3 pets accounted for. Byee!!

TL;DR: NONTENT AND BULLSHIT. This vlog Covers January 2nd to January 4th in the Amberverse. 514.6lbs (pannus on the towel rack). Amber was contacted for a TLC Dr Now Spin-off show, but was rejected because she needed to be 550lbs+ and our Dainty Queen is only 514.6lbs. Amber feels that she needs as much help as someone who is 550lbs, but no one lifts a finger to help her (sorry, wrong cow), but she's not heavy enough for them. Amber has a TikTok which is 2K views away from 1M, and will keep comments open (and even reply to a couple) to manipulate the algorithm. Amber "broke no contact" with Jade via text on January 2nd, but got no reply (because it's actually Jade who has gone no-contact with Amber). 2 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber blathered about a whole bunch of other nonsense to pad out the video.
 
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"Broke no contact with my ex" which was very HULTHY and MOOCHABLE and we always stay best friends. Remember that gay ass interview post-breakup? "We always want each other in our lives" Hahahahaha

:smug:
 
I don’t want to start power-leveling, but if you’re old enough, cast your mind back to what you were doing when you were 33. Even the biggest slackers I know don’t spend their time pulling their hair into toddler pigtails, collecting celebrity perfumes, putting together Legos, and lip syncing to cringey songs.

And she’s obviously acting like this because it worked for her in the past. She developed a closed system where her channel was supposedly about weight loss—which never happened—but was actually about Amber’s relationship dramas.

She would meet someone online, rush to move in with them before they realized how bad she smelled, then they’d dump her when she got too fat, malodorous, and impossible to deal with. Then she’d use her socials to find a new victim.

But at 33, on the downside of her YouTube arc, who age-appropriate would find this attractive? And without a relationship, what does she have to talk about?

And on top of that, I can’t even keep up with the Foodie Beauty drama, which leaves Amber’s channel in the Bingo hall’s dumpster.
 
Do you guys think TLC would take her if she was willing? I do, but I don’t know if she’d cooperate all the way through filming.
 
Free the Pedos said:
Do you guys think TLC would take her if she was willing? I do, but I don’t know if she’d cooperate all the way through filming.
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I think Hamber going on TLC would be good for their ratings and plus we would probably be shown what those tree trunks under her leggings actually look like. A win-win situation for all!

She has always idolized reality TV but the issue is Hamber is way too controlling about how she is depicted on camera. She would never film those struggle-showers you see on My 600LB Life and it just seems like she would be an overall difficult person to work with. She’d probably be the female version Steven Assanti given her substance abuse, terrible hygiene, pig nose and piss-poor attitude.

I’d watch it in a heartbeat tho
 
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We already got the Great Value versions of Amber and Becky on M600PL in Gina Krasley and Beth. Seriously, it was eerie.

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Other than the possibility of seeing Stinky McMoonface's horrifying legs, m'eh ... it's been done.

And as for Gina Krasley? Well, she's dead now. Welcome to your 30s, Fatty.
 
Of course Amber was contacting her ex.
Who else is she going to talk to, it's not like anyone new has fallen for her tricks yet.
 
Salvador Dali said:
She’d probably be the female version Steven Assanti given her substance abuse, terrible hygiene, pig nose and piss-poor attitude.
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That would be a plus for TLC, just look at how many Steven Assanti episodes there were. She’d never do it though, because she absolutely relies on YouTube not only for the money but also the attention. TLC would put a stop to her posting vlogs to her channel. Plus she wouldn’t do any of the stuff that shows just how much of a train wreck she really is. There’s no partner anymore, there’d be no embarrassing nudity or even skimpy clothes, and no full on gluttony for the camera. Even if she was within the weight criteria, they wouldn’t want her once they found out how little she’d put herself on display that wasn’t totally in her control and her boundaries. TLC deals are deals with the devil. You have to sell your very soul for the mere chance of WLS.
 
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