- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
She wants someone to make her ‘melt in their arms’. Okay lol but that would absolutely kill them.
🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
-
🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
-
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I imagine
Toxic Gossip Traaaaaiiiin!
Last edited:
Mekahineyho
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
It’s annoying how she keeps repeating that she’s 32, she’s been doing that all year like it makes us be like “wow yeah she really is grown up now”. Her independence and ability to just exist without her mom stopping in everyday or needing some random person in her dms to message her is sad really.
Honestly at this point just make the damn dating profile Amber, no one is biting from your YouTube bubble that you created.
Honestly at this point just make the damn dating profile Amber, no one is biting from your YouTube bubble that you created.
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2021
You would think people are smart enough to see a huge red flag, but you never know.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
Work that "omg I'm only 32" while you can, Amber. You got about 3 more weeks.
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
That’s dating as a women looking for women. There aren’t a huge amount of irl spaces and online dating is filled to the brim with troons, recent divorcees with kids, couples, and women the size of amerlynn.
If she was willing to get with a man she’d have a feeder freak in like 5 minutes.
L_I_F_T_E_D
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2019
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Plot Summary with Commentary. When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was making fun of her mother for being unable to eat celery string due to her extensive dental work, showing off a massive bowl of cauliflower and mayonaise, and weighing herself with her pannus on the counter to keep the scale reading below 600lbs. What nontent are we going to witness today? Let's find out: TAKE US IN!
[The video is only 2 SECONDS over her goal of 12 minutes - prepare for absolute filler...]
TL;DR: FILLER NONTENT AND BULLSHIT. Kristine picks Amber up for Thanksgiving festivities - where they eat then spend the day at the casino. Amber tells some bizarre story of a guy following her around and hitting on her while Amber encourages it (by not shutting it down) - until Amber gets uncomfortable and asks her mommy to fix it for her. (Honestly, this likely happened to one of her cousins and Amber has appropriated the story). Amber's decided that crashing Kristine's and BF's friday Bingo date night is going to be her new ritual. Amber comes home, and drinks. She claims to be too drunk to continue the vlog, so she jumpcuts to a large segment of TIKTOK trash instead in order to pad out the video. Amber comes back, sitting in the dark and slurs something about talking to a friend (to try and get rumours going), and says that everyone needs to be kind.
Edit: Had to re-add the freeze frame image, as it didn't stick when I posted.
[The video is only 2 SECONDS over her goal of 12 minutes - prepare for absolute filler...]
"Hello Hello". Local58 wants to know your location... don't let the light touch you!
Yeah, I've used that joke before.. but HOLY SHIT. Her face looks like when you take an old 'Full Screen' DVD movie, then go into settings and stretch it to widescreen.
Today is Thanksgiving in the Amberverse, and Amber is waiting for Mommy to pick her up and take her to the fabulous family festivities. SHE'S GOING TO AUNT TAMMIE'S!!! QUICK! Check Facebook for the resulting drama!
Outfit of the Day Molment: Middle part hair style, greenish sparkly tarp... and probably the stretched out yoga pants.
Amber needs to lose weight, and claims that the only way she'll lose the weight is if she loves herself. Considering HOW MUCH she loves herself and how much she puts herself before EVERYONE else, I'm pressing X to doubt. The only way Amber's going to lose weight is with the Duct Tape Diet. Try it, Amber, Starter kits are available at the DollarTree for less than $2!
Amber doesn't understand how people are told to 'love themselves', but as soon as they do, they're called narcissists. Loving oneself isn't the problem - when you indulge in every whim to the detriment of others, you've hit Narc territory.
Amber's thankful for her audience and her YouTube money printer, I mean, 'channel'. Amber shows off her A+ college math skills by saying this is her 10th Thanksgiving on YouTube. As she started in MID NOVEMBER 2013, wouldn't this be number 11?
[PLACARD: hours and hours later]
Mommy dumped Ambo back at the apartment and peeled rubber to get outta there. Amber had the LITERAL BEST DAY TODAY (because 'Murican Thanksgiving is an EATING HOLIDAY)! SOOO GOOD - oh yeah, and other people were there too. Amber says that she's not downplaying her past girlfriend's family, but she hasn't spent Thanksgiving with her family in 18 years. I wonder how many boxes of 'Chicken Biscuit' crackers Ambo polished off herself? Anyway, after porking out on the Chicken Biscuits, they all continued the Reid family tradition of GAMBLING!! CASINO, BABY!
Amber had what looks like tree tinsel put in her hair. Supposedly it's 'fairy hair'. It just looks like gray hair.
Amber met new friends at the casino, got a lot of numbers, and got hit on by a lot of dudes. Oddly enough, Amber seems really impressed and full of herself that members of the opposite sex to what she's attracted to wanted to mount Mt Ambo and fuck those folds.
Amber just continues on with this story, which seems like total fantasy. Honestly, I don't understand ANY OF IT. Why would you be looking for phone numbers amongst degerate gamblers who can't even spend ONE DAY with friends/family instead of throwing away their money? Why are you blushing and getting all excited about some dude fetishizing you - especially when you're into chicks? It's almost as bad as when Chakotay kept trying to make the moves on me in front of the senior staff, knowing full-well that my heart belonged completely to my Borg Queen - but I digress.
Apparently, a random guy kept following Amber around, hugging her, trying to buy her drinks, and even gave her $20 bucks. Okay, closet YA novel reading Kiwis: what book did she rip this story from? Anyway, the guy gets pushy, and Amber's like "In those situations, I never know how to say 'I'm a lesbian' because I don't know how they'll take it"...
... Yeah, YOU DON'T. Do you think that being a lesbian is the ONLY EXCUSE you have to say no to someone you aren't interested in? The appropriate response is something along the lines of "I'm not interested. Here's your $20 bucks back (or just leave it in the machine and walk away). Happy Thanksgiving. Bye!". I mean, you CAN try to be sweet about it, but polite but firm and walk away is usually the best and most clear method. Wait - why am I even saying any of this?! Everyone on this forum knows how to adult. Only Amber struggles, and I'm still more willing to believe that she watched this happen to her female cousins than it happening to our YouTube celebrity butter-gollum.
Amber says she struggles because she's a people pleaser. Apparently the only people she DOESN'T struggle with trying to please are any of her gorlfriends, their families, her own family, or anyone in her audience. Finally, it started to feel like 'harassment', so Amber had to ask Mommy for help. This is shit; I'm done. [SKIP]
[PLACARD: next day]
JUMPCUT!! In the bathroom, getting ready to go out with Mommy again! Stupid Amber the lesbian who's totally a lesbian and totally isn't into dick... gave her number to some MALE degerate gambler at the casino. Anyway, he called and left a 3 minute voicemail (while driving at 4am). Amber's not going to call back, because she had no intention of talking to him when she gave him her number, and fucking with people's minds is Amber's favourite passtime. God she's gross. Anyway, time to go to bingo! Crashing Kristine's and BF's Friday bingo date night is going to be Amber's new ritual, because there's not a lot to do in Oklahoma. Having never lived in Oklahoma City, I can't really say anything... but as someone who has lived in small towns before, there's often stuff to do. You just can't do it because:
1) You're too fat,
2) You can't/don't drive or take public transporation
3) You're too lazy, and
4) You feel entitled to all of your mammy's free time.
5) Oh yeah, and you're fucking RETARDED and treat people like shit.
Moving on.
[PLACARD: several hours later]
JUMPCUT!! We're hiding in Amber's fridge, waiting for her to open the door and ask why we're in there. This stopped being funny 8 times ago. Anyway, Kristine just rolled Ambo out of the car without coming to a complete stop and red-lined it outta there again. She's alone, so time to drink some more in the attempt of garnering pity. Amber makes us mount Drew (air fryer) to watch her stupidity.
FREEZE FRAME!!
Amber's using a LEGO prybar to try and open her sugar-booze. I don't know why I found this so funny, but I did. So I included it in case you find it funny too!
JUMPCUT!! Amber pretending to be drunk.
Amazon Unboxing. Someone "special to her" - oop, Amber thinks she's too drunk for the Amazon molment.
TIKTOK Filler. Over 2 minutes of it! NOPE [SKIP]
[PLACARD: several hours later]
It's dark, and Amber's too lazy to turn on a light. Amber's speaking slowly and slurring her words. She's about to go to bed (despite still wearing her makeup, earings, and outdoor clothes in bed). Amber just got off the phone with the mysterious friend that she's TOTALLY NOT mentioning in order to try and get rumours and interest sparked in who this could be. She's grateful for her audience (that she's producing such garbage content to show her appreciation). Drunk babble. BE KIND - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING THROUGH. BYEE!!" Yeah, take your own advice, Ambo.
[PLACARD: Thanks for watching]
Yeah, I've used that joke before.. but HOLY SHIT. Her face looks like when you take an old 'Full Screen' DVD movie, then go into settings and stretch it to widescreen.
Today is Thanksgiving in the Amberverse, and Amber is waiting for Mommy to pick her up and take her to the fabulous family festivities. SHE'S GOING TO AUNT TAMMIE'S!!! QUICK! Check Facebook for the resulting drama!
Outfit of the Day Molment: Middle part hair style, greenish sparkly tarp... and probably the stretched out yoga pants.
Amber needs to lose weight, and claims that the only way she'll lose the weight is if she loves herself. Considering HOW MUCH she loves herself and how much she puts herself before EVERYONE else, I'm pressing X to doubt. The only way Amber's going to lose weight is with the Duct Tape Diet. Try it, Amber, Starter kits are available at the DollarTree for less than $2!
Amber doesn't understand how people are told to 'love themselves', but as soon as they do, they're called narcissists. Loving oneself isn't the problem - when you indulge in every whim to the detriment of others, you've hit Narc territory.
Amber's thankful for her audience and her YouTube money printer, I mean, 'channel'. Amber shows off her A+ college math skills by saying this is her 10th Thanksgiving on YouTube. As she started in MID NOVEMBER 2013, wouldn't this be number 11?
[PLACARD: hours and hours later]
Mommy dumped Ambo back at the apartment and peeled rubber to get outta there. Amber had the LITERAL BEST DAY TODAY (because 'Murican Thanksgiving is an EATING HOLIDAY)! SOOO GOOD - oh yeah, and other people were there too. Amber says that she's not downplaying her past girlfriend's family, but she hasn't spent Thanksgiving with her family in 18 years. I wonder how many boxes of 'Chicken Biscuit' crackers Ambo polished off herself? Anyway, after porking out on the Chicken Biscuits, they all continued the Reid family tradition of GAMBLING!! CASINO, BABY!
Amber had what looks like tree tinsel put in her hair. Supposedly it's 'fairy hair'. It just looks like gray hair.
Amber met new friends at the casino, got a lot of numbers, and got hit on by a lot of dudes. Oddly enough, Amber seems really impressed and full of herself that members of the opposite sex to what she's attracted to wanted to mount Mt Ambo and fuck those folds.
Amber just continues on with this story, which seems like total fantasy. Honestly, I don't understand ANY OF IT. Why would you be looking for phone numbers amongst degerate gamblers who can't even spend ONE DAY with friends/family instead of throwing away their money? Why are you blushing and getting all excited about some dude fetishizing you - especially when you're into chicks? It's almost as bad as when Chakotay kept trying to make the moves on me in front of the senior staff, knowing full-well that my heart belonged completely to my Borg Queen - but I digress.
Apparently, a random guy kept following Amber around, hugging her, trying to buy her drinks, and even gave her $20 bucks. Okay, closet YA novel reading Kiwis: what book did she rip this story from? Anyway, the guy gets pushy, and Amber's like "In those situations, I never know how to say 'I'm a lesbian' because I don't know how they'll take it"...
... Yeah, YOU DON'T. Do you think that being a lesbian is the ONLY EXCUSE you have to say no to someone you aren't interested in? The appropriate response is something along the lines of "I'm not interested. Here's your $20 bucks back (or just leave it in the machine and walk away). Happy Thanksgiving. Bye!". I mean, you CAN try to be sweet about it, but polite but firm and walk away is usually the best and most clear method. Wait - why am I even saying any of this?! Everyone on this forum knows how to adult. Only Amber struggles, and I'm still more willing to believe that she watched this happen to her female cousins than it happening to our YouTube celebrity butter-gollum.
Amber says she struggles because she's a people pleaser. Apparently the only people she DOESN'T struggle with trying to please are any of her gorlfriends, their families, her own family, or anyone in her audience. Finally, it started to feel like 'harassment', so Amber had to ask Mommy for help. This is shit; I'm done. [SKIP]
[PLACARD: next day]
JUMPCUT!! In the bathroom, getting ready to go out with Mommy again! Stupid Amber the lesbian who's totally a lesbian and totally isn't into dick... gave her number to some MALE degerate gambler at the casino. Anyway, he called and left a 3 minute voicemail (while driving at 4am). Amber's not going to call back, because she had no intention of talking to him when she gave him her number, and fucking with people's minds is Amber's favourite passtime. God she's gross. Anyway, time to go to bingo! Crashing Kristine's and BF's Friday bingo date night is going to be Amber's new ritual, because there's not a lot to do in Oklahoma. Having never lived in Oklahoma City, I can't really say anything... but as someone who has lived in small towns before, there's often stuff to do. You just can't do it because:
1) You're too fat,
2) You can't/don't drive or take public transporation
3) You're too lazy, and
4) You feel entitled to all of your mammy's free time.
5) Oh yeah, and you're fucking RETARDED and treat people like shit.
Moving on.
[PLACARD: several hours later]
JUMPCUT!! We're hiding in Amber's fridge, waiting for her to open the door and ask why we're in there. This stopped being funny 8 times ago. Anyway, Kristine just rolled Ambo out of the car without coming to a complete stop and red-lined it outta there again. She's alone, so time to drink some more in the attempt of garnering pity. Amber makes us mount Drew (air fryer) to watch her stupidity.
FREEZE FRAME!!
Amber's using a LEGO prybar to try and open her sugar-booze. I don't know why I found this so funny, but I did. So I included it in case you find it funny too!
JUMPCUT!! Amber pretending to be drunk.
Amazon Unboxing. Someone "special to her" - oop, Amber thinks she's too drunk for the Amazon molment.
TIKTOK Filler. Over 2 minutes of it! NOPE [SKIP]
[PLACARD: several hours later]
It's dark, and Amber's too lazy to turn on a light. Amber's speaking slowly and slurring her words. She's about to go to bed (despite still wearing her makeup, earings, and outdoor clothes in bed). Amber just got off the phone with the mysterious friend that she's TOTALLY NOT mentioning in order to try and get rumours and interest sparked in who this could be. She's grateful for her audience (that she's producing such garbage content to show her appreciation). Drunk babble. BE KIND - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING THROUGH. BYEE!!" Yeah, take your own advice, Ambo.
[PLACARD: Thanks for watching]
TL;DR: FILLER NONTENT AND BULLSHIT. Kristine picks Amber up for Thanksgiving festivities - where they eat then spend the day at the casino. Amber tells some bizarre story of a guy following her around and hitting on her while Amber encourages it (by not shutting it down) - until Amber gets uncomfortable and asks her mommy to fix it for her. (Honestly, this likely happened to one of her cousins and Amber has appropriated the story). Amber's decided that crashing Kristine's and BF's friday Bingo date night is going to be her new ritual. Amber comes home, and drinks. She claims to be too drunk to continue the vlog, so she jumpcuts to a large segment of TIKTOK trash instead in order to pad out the video. Amber comes back, sitting in the dark and slurs something about talking to a friend (to try and get rumours going), and says that everyone needs to be kind.
If anyone more tech savvy can recommond a program for archiving video (that I can install and run from tails), please PM or drop it on my wall. If it runs off a different linux distro, I can try to get it working. By 'different distro', I mean like Mint or Ubuntu or something. Please don't recommend Arch - I'm too tech-tarded to figure out how to archive videos - I'm WAY TOO 'TARDED for something like Arch. Thanks.)
Edit: Had to re-add the freeze frame image, as it didn't stick when I posted.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
What's up with the pig's greasy hair? She pull tree tinsel out of her cat's asshole and put it in?
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2020
That "drunk" speech she gave at the end which sounds like it was ripped straight from the end of a Jerry Springer episode is so embarasseeeeeen gorl.
IDK about anywhere else but those sparkly strands were fashionable for about five minutes a few years ago here in Bongland. Of course it'd be totally on brand for Big Al to latch onto a trend years after every else stopped caring.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
Those tinsel shits pop up around the holidays and my lil always wants them. She’s definitely not a 32yo living her best life tho……..
The ending did sound like the end of a springer episode and holy shit I forgot about his last quips after seeing people throw chairs at each other and dancing on stripper poles lmfao.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2020
The Farm’s Favourite Friend of the Muppets (I actually quite enjoy Karina Kaboom) revealed an interesting Amber fact in her video today. According to her math Amber ‘worked’ a total of 75mins in November - the total length of all her videos to date.
Being kind and assuming editing takes her twice to three times the video length that’s roughly half a day’s work in a month. Puts it into perspective doesn’t it, she’s getting about 1k/hr. And she expects sympathy, go fuck yourself Amber. Lazy cow.
Being kind and assuming editing takes her twice to three times the video length that’s roughly half a day’s work in a month. Puts it into perspective doesn’t it, she’s getting about 1k/hr. And she expects sympathy, go fuck yourself Amber. Lazy cow.
Mekahineyho
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Congrats Amber you had a Black man or a feeder bother you in public.
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Well she’s working twice as hard as most people in tech. Amber the Product Manager arc incoming
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
She talks about her doing a middle part about 30 times in this video and I don’t really know why cos to quote ZM she looks the same as she always does
Witch Bitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2020
Really suprised by how round her face and thick her neck was in this most recent one. "The minute someone loves themselves.. they're a narrascascist-" jfc.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2023
OKC is the 20th most populous city in the US. It's larger than Nashville, Las Vegas, Boston, Portland, and Atlanta. There are plenty of things to do. She's just a willfully ignorant slug with no true interests other than stuffing her face.
Witch Bitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2020
add in rapidly aging family members with highly addictive personalities and a mild sense of guild for amber being.. amber.
Its all perfectly reasonable that our anxious princess stays home.. and the casino-
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2020
She's still swolleeen from Thanksgiving, ya'll.
QueenCeeCee
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2023
If they were calling her mommy they were probably Mexican /Latin