🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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I refuse to believe that even she is so fucking smooth brained that she thinks people say she needs a caretaker because she can't drive. This has to be bait.
 
"Having a breakdown on camera" doesn't really have any meaning when it's a self-made prerecorded edited video.
Nice try LoserLynn.
 
marjoram said:
Maintenance guy came, listened to the dryer, turned white and had to leave the room.....

FatAl doesn't wanna take the "easy way out" although that's the only direction she knows. Also is too lazy to put her own quarters into the washing machine. Apparently to her "doing laundry" consists of watching the clothes spin around in the dryer.

So very boring. Do yourselves a solid and skip away....
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But she DOESN'T nEeD A cArEtAKer!
 
Amber's sad, sad tears - A tribute.

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Was the "breakdown on camera" not about her washer? Or her care taker's car? Or another couch?
 
formerlyfat said:
Somehow she equates driving with needing a caretaker. WT actual F?
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It's a Cluster B thing. They find the most absurd comparisons so they can act like we're crazy for speaking very real truths. She and Chantal love to use the Cluster B fave of "no one is perfect" too, to absolve themselves of being horrible people.

Working with these people is maddening. Living with them almost impossible. They literally speak a totally different language than the rest of us. Everything is to deflect away from their inadequacies.
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Like, you can be pretty successful and not drive. Whether personal preference or medical reasons. However, this fat bitch is turning it into some sort of martyr-situation-type-deal because of course she is. Never change gorl, not that you could.
 
Plot summary with commentary. When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber's secret OnlyFans content had bled into her YouTube channel, where she was shamelessly tickling the tip of a giant 'pickle'.... No, that's not right. Shit, I've already forgotten. Hang on, let me check.... OH YEAH! She was admitting that her WLS therapist had diagnosed her with BPD, invalidating every cryeeen situation-type-deal and "trust me bro" bullshit claim she's ever made! And what has Amber posted about today? Likely MORE BULLSHIT CLAIMS! Let's go!

"It's been a 'hot minute". Amber's trying to figure it why she's been unwilling to film. She overshoots the obvious answer of "laziness", and "the bank account still has a positive balance"... and lands firmly on FEELING "heartbreak", "sadness", and "loneliness".

Amber claims that she FEELS that she has to be a certain way to film, but she doesn't FEEL that way. She's said this many times before. It usually means that she wants to get shelf-pats for being a degenerate cretin, but knows she'll get backlash instead.

Amber blabs about everything going on "in here" (points to head), "and in here" (points to heart)... but after her admittance of being Cluster B, all of this means exactly fuck all.

Still babbling, worried about 'expectations' of her. Bitch please. You've filmed yourself looking like you've tumbled out of a dumpster, shown yourself ripping into a rotisserie chicken like a starved coyote, and showed your diarrhea shits mixed with giant bloody clots when your uterus couldn't even tollerate you anymore and attempted suicide. WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU THINK WE HAVE?!

Maintenance came by and heard her dryer and were SHOCKED! Stop embellishing every bullshit thing in your life - they heard it, then said "don't use it until we can get the appliance guy in to fix it (which will likely be somewhere within the appointment window of Monday 8am to 2024)".

Now poor Amber now has to deal with looking like a retarded fat fuck in public while she attempts to wash her clothes at a local laundromat - or more likely; makes mommy wash it for her.

Amber says that overall she's OKAY. Don't worry; no ones falls for your 'something TERRIBLE is happenning!' nonsense anymore. We know nothing's wrong ... except for every one of your organ systems being on the verge of collapse (but you're not worried about that, so neither are we).

Amber FEELS heartbroken x2... but she doesn't want to talk about it... while continuing to talk about it. She talks about how heartbroken she FEELS over losing the girl that she texted for a week and never met. You know, the one all the way back from AUGUST? The one she supposedly cheated on with Jade and then said that the new girl would just have to take it?

Amber threatens to continue with this heartbreak nonsense over the next few months.

She's going MIA because she's trying to fix her broken heart... not because she's a lazy POS who doesn't want to blow her creative load until adsense revenue is at max levels.

FREEZE FRAME
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"I'm trying to like, fix my broken heart". Could you at least TRY to not smile while pretending to be emotionally devestated?

JUMPCUT!! Amber's in the kitchen with the newest love of her life, Drew (the air-fryer), who is making Amber's favourite: pork CHARCOAL. Twinkie's on the floor wagging her tail and begging with her eyes. Hey, with Jade gone, how long before Twonko blimps out again?

Gonna eat the pork chops with GATORADE, because diet sodies don't have enough SALT in them.

JUMPCUT!! At the laundromat. Amber's making sure to keep methmam out of frame.

OOPS, NEVERMIND! Methma's plugging quarters into the machine for Amber! Amber laments about having to buy laundry sacks, because her white-trash hampers (Hefty garbage bags) ripped. Hey, give her a break for being upset; that's 10 dollars that can't go to FOOD!

PLACARD: next day

It's the next day, and Amber's filming in the bathroom. She's sad because her audience says that she's looking for a caretaker. Amber thinks that has to do with her not driving - and nothing to do with the fact that we've watched her stumble through life like a profoundly retarded 9 year old for the last decade.

Some haydurz don't drive either! "Tana Mongeau doesn't drive!!" Yeah, Tana also doesn't need other people to wipe her ass.

Amber has realized that people are saying this to her because of Amber's weight, and Amber FEELS sad about it because she doesn't think that's okay. TOO FUCKING BAD, AMBER.

"I live on my own. I do everything by myself". Yet she couldn't even put her own quarters into the washers at the laundromat. You can do everything yourself? Let's see you TAKE A BUS to wash your clothes and pick up your groceries. Skinny people take buses, too, Amber!

JUMPCUT!!! Mommy helped Amber run errands, then they went out for lunch.

JUMPCUT!! Grocery haul time!! It's the same shit she always buys- INSTANT MASHED POTATOES?! WTF! Amber can do EVERYTHING by herself you guize!!! Except boil a potato until it turns to mush. OOH, the binge-sized massive case of ramen noodles is back! And a few cases of salt water (24 pints of G Zero).

JUMPCUT!! Cryeeen again. More of her enlarged heart nonsense - I mean, broken heart. Whatever. She tries to distract herself, but when she comes home she's so heartbroken again you guize!

All of this FEELINGS nonsense... Suggested reading for Amber:
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It's lidurally like TORTURE!! "I'm not 100% happy". Yeah, get in line, Ambo.

"How can I do my job when I can barely focus on, like, ANYTHING?" That's never stopped you before.

Amber PRETENDS that she misses real work. She would LOVE a job outside of her home to be able to focus her mind on others... but she just loves YouTube TOO MUCH to do that!!

Amber ponders the possibility of "Mookbongs", but it's not who she is anymore (Translation: YouTube's new TOS would fuck her up the ass sideways with a trashcan if she tried).

This is so fucking cringey. Question to any medical kiwis reading this: can someone IMPLODE from cringing too hard? Seriously Amber, just fucking get yourself committed if you are claiming to be this unstable.

PLACARD: several hours later.

Oop, Amber's all smiles and smirks again. "I'm feeling better now". SHE'S EATING Cool Whip directly from the tub with a knife, HAHAHA!!! Food makes everything better, doesn't it Amber?! (I don't know why that was so funny, but it helped reduce the cringe-induced cramps).

FREEZE FRAME!!
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BOMBASTIC SIDE-EYE!! Even Rarity's sick of Amber's shit.

Amber talked to "a friend of mine" (who's either mommy or a chat bot) and is all better now. Don't let her fool you; it was all because of the CoolWhip.

PLACARD: Thanks for watching.
No proper outro. FUCK YOU, AMBER!

TL;DR: PURE CUNTENT! 12 MINUTES OF ABSOLUTE NONSENSE & HISTRIONICS to get a paycheck, while saving any possible *real* content for vlogmas. Amber complains about being heartbroken x 2 because her heart is double the size of the average human- oh wait no, it's because of Jade and the person that she was texting for a week back in AUGUST. Amber insists that she doesn't want to talk about it... while continuing to talk about it throughout the entire video. Amber's laundry machines are broken, so she goes to the laundromat... and her mommy works the machines for her. Amber decides that people think she needs a caretaker because she can't drive - and not because previous caretakers gorlfriends have done everything from booking her appointments, to pushing her to shower, to WIPING HER ASS FOR HER. Amber shows off a grocery haul of sodium-laden foods, and has now progressed to salty drinks (24 bottles of gatorade). Amber drowns her sorrows in a tub of CoolWhip, and then magically feels better. Amber ponders the possibility of "Mookbongs", but it's not who she is anymore. Amber would LOVE to work a job outside of the home so she could think about others... but she just LOVES YouTube TOO MUCH to do that. 2 of 3 pets accounted for.
 
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Lol she’s tired of having to contact her mom everytime she needs to go somewhere. That clip of her crying about a potentially made up 2nd person she’s in love with was unhinged as shit.
 
w4vy_gr4vy said:
LMAO I forgot about the crying Amber thread, that was gold. A reminder of the good old days when she was still vaguely entertaining. (:_(
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Yeah, I was wandering through FatAl in Spergatory the other day. It's bittersweet
cause you're reminded of fellow Farmers who aren't here anymore. Some damn fine funny motherfuckers they were.

Troons can be blamed for THAT, too
 
Why is Lard Gordita Banana's hair look like she's wearing a mantilla?

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StrawberryDouche said:
Skinny people don't drive, too.
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All the fag hags in the comments defending Grandma Zach's fat arse for not driving lmao his ass hasnt been walking nowhere looking like an overstuffed bean burrito.
 
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Never learning to drive makes sense if you are comfortably capable of getting yourself from A to B via public transport or walking. Fatty's reason is laziness and nothing more.

Normal people won't get defensive about not driving, that only shows you're secretly ashamed. Hamber needs to learn to drive so she can stop guilting other people into carting her cottage cheese arse everywhere.
 
Honestly, if you are in a metro area like Dallas or New York you do not need a car as public transport is pretty good. In OKC there is actually a good public transport system called EMBARK which is inspired by Dallas' robust system. She has no excuse because it is actually good but also has "enough" to pay for an Uber. I think Momma has said to her she cannot drive her around all the time and is not falling for her tricks of making appointments only for them to cancel. Speaking as an immigrant though, in the southern states you positively need a car. The space is just vast especially in OK.

She just hates people judging her because she is a fat ugly bitch and also incredibly lazy. Glad bottles videos are preventing this disgusting cunt from amassing more money
 
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