🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Frankly, I have always thought she was way too obsessed with her "hymen" (Gold Star Lesbian Hamber Reid is better than you, you lesbian plebs.) and Dusty to not be an actual lesbian. But real lesbian or not, her only good choice IS another lesbian. Everything else is degen feeder dick.
 
Tiktok updates - posted October 20th 2023

Eye fucking, lip synching all boring




 
LMAO youre good at one thing, fatty..eating and not lewkz bitch , food.
 
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Jacknife said:
Why does she have a semi-clean orderly living space?
How does she manage that with her weight, are there still enablers in the picture?
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Narcs have an uncanny ability to summon the will to do things that they don't normally want to do, if it sets the stage for their gaslighting and mind games.

I can guaran-fucking-tee you that there is a road map in our gorl's mind, where step one is having to maintain a suitable setting for her videos in order to reach step two - the eventual caretaker she'll suck into her orbit to do all her bidding.

Has anyone looked on local dating apps to see if she's fishing for a new butch butler?
 
Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
See this is why Amber is not a lesbian, I honestly think all her relationships have been majority sexless. She only goes with women because women have a lower standard to an extent.

As for Kirstine's new cult/workplace - WOW actually incredible.
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Slippery_Slope said:
Frankly, I have always thought she was way too obsessed with her "hymen" (Gold Star Lesbian Hamber Reid is better than you, you lesbian plebs.) and Dusty to not be an actual lesbian. But real lesbian or not, her only good choice IS another lesbian. Everything else is degen feeder dick.
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Yeah at this point her sexuality doesn’t even matter to me, but I think she’s bisexual with a preference for woman. I think she deems females more patient with not showering and no sex.

According to her she finds men and “peen” disgusting but that’s obviously not true. her body language and flirtatious behavior when yo mama came in her chat over a month ago says otherwise.
 
Empress of Lucite said:
Has anyone looked on local dating apps to see if she's fishing for a new butch butler?
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She’s too lazy to set up a profile and manage any contacts. She just waits for the DMs to hit her instagram. Probably not a bad move on her part, because anyone messaging her already knows who she is, and a quick google will soon sort out who’s actually interested in the beast and scare to rest away. Saves a load of time on both ends.
 
Amber is mothersexual. All her love quests have been mom quests. She's never really wanted a sexual relationship or a give and take romantic relationship. All her golrfriends have served the purpose of a mother replacement with the exception of Jade who was a *shudders* daddy replacement.
 

things are hitting me, I'm still hurting, & watch me build furniture | vlog​

20th October 2023

Not even worth a re-cap, watching now will say if anything of note. Absolute dross, she is now claiming "friends" are sending her stuff. X She is REALLY trying to shill her TikTok probably because TikTok live and it's revenue but the video is garbage.
 
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Chaotic Pizzaparty said:

things are hitting me, I'm still hurting, & watch me build furniture | vlog​

20th October 2023
https://youtube.com/watch?v=b4hsbcwVkCQ
Not even worth a re-cap, watching now will say if anything of note. Absolute dross, she is now claiming "friends" are sending her stuff. X She is REALLY trying to shill her TikTok probably because TikTok live and it's revenue but the video is garbage.
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I get rly angry watching her handle things with her bloated meat hooks it cant be just me is it?
Also I have two of the same modern mid-century floor lamp and they are not cheap, mine was 100 bucks, each So what "friend" we got dropping that amount of money on Hammy?

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NAME OUR BAND!!!!
 
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Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
See this is why Amber is not a lesbian, I honestly think all her relationships have been majority sexless. She only goes with women because women have a lower standard to an extent.

As for Kirstine's new cult/workplace - WOW actually incredible.
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I've always thought she was Ginblossom Gene levels of degenerate. Hobo-sexual, that is, not Presidential.
 
Plot Summary with Commentary. OMG, that vapid, Piink Sparkles expression! Focus, Boolean, *ahem* ... When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was pretending to become dependant on alcohol in order to manipulate her mother to spend the weekend cooking and cleaning at Chez Ambo, as well as taking her out to all of Amber's favourite places (restaurants, Torrid, Target, etc). And now we return to our next installment of 'As The Gorl Turns'.

FREEZE FRAME!!
Ambo1.png

I have a feeling that vacant, open-mouth stares are going to be the main theme of this video.

Amber didn't film yesterday. A week of bare-minimum work burned her out and she needed a day to chill. Amber kept to herself for the day (likely because it was Monday, and after spending all of Saturday and Sunday with Amber, Kristine had to go back to work and her normal life).

Amber pushes her audience to go watch her TikToks...
Oedipus.png


Amber has *JUST* realized that she's alone, and lost the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with... despite the ENTIRETY of her content for the last 4 months has been about how she's alone and lost the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. You know, the person who kept REFUSING to propose to her?

Amber says that all of the time that they were living together, things were very confusing. It felt like they were still in a relationship. But but but, didn't your psychologist say that you guys breaking up and living together was the most mature and hulthy thing you could possibly do? It's almost as if all of that was bullshit, and you spent the entire time trying to manipulate Jade into staying with you...

Amber blabs about her totally normal feelings, as if no one else in the universe has EVER experienced a breakup.

JUMPCUT!! Hurpling through the apartment. She had a WHOLE MOLMUNT! Amber makes up a stupid story about Twinkie getting loose from her harness (that Amber doesn't know how to put on Twinkie) and aggressively approached her neighbour. When Amber bent down to get her, Amber's airpod fell out and got wedged under her door and trapped in the hollow part of her door. Just group this story in with the 'FBI Frank' one.

JUMPCUT!!
FREEZE FRAME!!
3 pets.png

3 of 3 pets accounted for! BINGO!

JUMPCUT!! Amber's been in her apartment for 12 days, and still hasn't figured out how to hook up her TV. Amber pretends that it's because she doesn't watch TV, and not because she's an idiot.

JUMPCUT!! Amber's "friend" (amazon.com) sent her a flatpack floor lamp. Amber pretends to find the sheet of paper full of pictures to be overwhelming. Just to warn you, THIS SEGMENT IS 7 MINUTES LONG! Hopefully my breakdown below makes it more bearable...

FREEZE FRAME!!
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(WTF am I doing with my life?)

FREEZE FRAME!!
Ambo3.png

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Amber thinks that this might be a too person job. Don't worry, as you're the size of 4, you should be fine.

FREEZE FRAME!!
Ambo5.png

FREEZE FRAME!!
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FREEZE FRAME!!
Ambo confused.png



FINISHED!!
Amber lamp done.png


How many Ambers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That lamp is FUGLY as shit... and it's crooked and the pieces aren't clipped in right (which is probably what's making it fugly). Amber thanks the person who sent it to her and wishes they could have been there with her (to assemble it for her, obviously).

TIKTOK MONTAGE of Amber's retardation to pad out the video [SKIP]

"Thanks for watching" placard without proper outro. FUCK YOU AMBER!

TL;DR:
retard alert.gif

3 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber took a day off because uploading 12 minutes of crap every 2 days for a week and a half burned her out. Amber tells some stupid story about her airpod getting caught in the hollow of her front door. Amber spends 7 MINUTES pretending to be even more retarded than usual as she assembles a flatpack lamp, then crams TIKTOK shit at the end of the video.

[Edited to replace retard alert gif with a smaller one]
 
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things are hitting me, I'm still hurting, & watch me build furniture | vlog​

20th October 2023​

 
I actually enjoyed that video. I was curious on how well the building directions were written for the lamp. It turns out the directions were pretty idiot proof if Haramber could figure it out. Didn’t really care as much about the other parts of the video though.
 
I find it odd how she's making tiktoks of her most "iconic phrases" especially considering those very phrases became popular because they were instances of Hamber making a mockery of herself which reaction channels could milk. Perhaps it's Hamber's attempt at being "in" with da haydurrzz.

Regardless, Hamber is still the same mammoth in the original videos as she is in her tiktok recreations. Forever fat. Forever retarded.
 
Salvador Dali said:
I find it odd how she's making tiktoks of her most "iconic phrases" especially considering those very phrases became popular because they were instances of Hamber making a mockery of herself which reaction channels could milk. Perhaps it's Hamber's attempt at being "in" with da haydurrzz.

Regardless, Hamber is still the same mammoth in the original videos as she is in her tiktok recreations. Forever fat. Forever retarded.
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Her recreations weren’t even that good. I find her funniest when she’ll say something bizarre in real time, like “maggots on a train.” When she actually tries to be funny is when she isn’t.
 
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