🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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I'm single and drinking in my closet, electricity got turned off, cook breakfast with me | vlog​

(10/16/2023)

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Archive keeps crashing for some reason. Probably going to have to wait a few hours.
 
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Neko GF said:

I'm single and drinking in my closet, electricity got turned off, cook breakfast with me | vlog​

(10/16/2023)
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Since she moved to Oklahoma she hasn't felt anxious ONE TIME! Except, of course, when she used her debit card for the first time. She also hasn't ordered takeout since she got there! 5 whole days! She LOVES living by herself and loves her alone time.

Amber admits that, at 32 years old, she has never hung a picture on the wall before. She is really telling on herself lately. When she was doing laundry in the last vlog she didn't know which side of the detergent container to pour out of, or that the scent beads go in the washer drum with the clothes. I guess decorating and laundry were part of the caretaker responsibilities.

Drunklynn is back. She had 2 "BuzzBallz" (these are ready to drink cocktails, looked it up since I was curious and there are 1.3 standard drinks in one of them) and 2 mango White Claws. She wanted to livestream but stopped herself so she didn't say anything she regrets. She ensures us that she is only drinking to "have fun" and not as a "cry for help."

TLDR: this vlog is just Amber coping from start to finish and trying to prove the haydurs wrong. Not only is she capable of living on her own but she LOVES it. Oklahoma is SO GREAT and she is so happy. How long do we think until the honeymoon period wears off?
 
You guys, it's shoooooo nice to do things Amber wants to do rather than always having to do what her girlfrinds want to do.

Like...

Loafing in the car while they go in to the store to get what she wants
OR
Going to all those buff-etts
OR
Going to Wommart/Target to touch everything
OR
Loafing in the car while the slave takes the pets into the vet

It's so nice not to be forced to do those things anymore.
 
FarmVille said:
Meth mama is a bigger cow than Amberlynn has ever been. CPS had to remove her children from the hospital the day that they were born. That is some gold tier cowdom, true white trash delicacy and waaaaay more milk than being fat and bleeding on a mattress.

She’s now dating a much younger man and gambling at bingo. All the speculation that meth mama is too normal, too on the straight and narrow, “wont put up with bullshit” to provide more than 600lbs of drama is premature at best.

After the complete snoozefest of Kentucky I am excited that deathfats may get a true Okie trailer park spectacular.
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And sometimes when prime cows collide, the fireworks show is glorious.

Be patient, frens.
 
I love how we are watching in real time her regression happen.
She is regressing little by little but she is loving Mommy's attention. Y'know.. I would not be shocked if later on Amber make claims that her bf made a pass at her.
 
Can I put in a small wager on Amberlynn having a "discovering her Native American heritage" mini-arc? I saw those tacky dreamcatchers in the pic of her mom, and now I'm just waiting for Al to start talking about her great-grandmother who was a Cherokee Princess.
 
32 year old Amber trying to be all UwU cutesy incapable baby? So quirky! Between that and the TikToks she's... going to make a lot of people sick before some fool gets hooked in to the caretaker role.
 
Cluster Beezin said:
Amber admits that, at 32 years old, she has never hung a picture on the wall before
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Most average looking women or slightly below average women who can cook have never "had" to hang a picture on their wall,yet the could if they felt like it. Amber has no skills or anything of value to trade for someone with those skills.
Really makes you think who hung all those fucking pictures in the Kentucky apartment where she left all the hardware in the drywall? I belive its not her cus can she reach the walls with her stomach in the way?z Who announces this absolute lack of basic skills and total incompetency as a person? No one, not even an ogre of a black woman looking to grift, is going to find this cute.
 
@lol cow supreme Holy shit Kristine has that 'Saw' face even more than Amber:
face.png


Plot Summary with Commentary. Ooh, I can SMELL the clickbait from here, and I haven't even looked at her video yet. Hang on, let me look ... mmhmm. Amber claims to be in the closet - which is an inconsistency, as per Amber's own words, she has been proudly out of the closet for the last 20+ years! Okay, enough bullshitting; lets get on with the (shit)show!

New vlog, plopped on her couch as per usual. Same green top from a couple of videos ago. Now, being a bit of a minimalist myself, I don't see anything wrong or unusual about wearing the same 7 outfits week after week... but when you have 4 WARDROBE BOXES FULL OF BLOUSES, it's pretty weird. Are these the only 5 that still fit?

Random, unimportant yammering.

Food talk. Amber hasn't ordered food since she moved to Oklahoma. WOW! You mean you've gone a FULL 5 DAYS?! Amber admits to ordering takeout every single day (or even multiple times per day) in Kentucky. We knew that; it was you who was trying to lie that you weren't.

JUMPCUT!! Amber is standing by the window. She's trying to create a routine for herself. I guess she's forgotten that she's already showed it to us: she wakes up from sleeping on her hoard like Smaug, eats, complains about how hard it is to be her for adsense revenue, eats, pesters mommy to entertain her, eats, eats, eats, then crawls back onto her hoard to sleep while still dressed in her dirty clothes from the day and a face full of makeup.

Amber claims part of the routine will be opening her blinds. This is obviously for humiliation clicks because she can't reach and is too fat to use a stool or step ladder. Fuck what she says; the routine I mentioned above is more accurate, anyway.

Weather rambling.

JUMPCUT!! Filming in the bathroom, rambling about her hair. Amber suddenly feels self-conscious in a poop bun.

JUMPCUT!! WASABI!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

JUMPCUT!! The hoard on the bed. Time to clean it (for adsense revenue). RARITY!! 2 of 3 pets accounted for.

JUMPCUT!! The bed is clear! (The junk has likely been slammed into a drawer or box somewhere else). Don't worry, within a week or so, the hoard will be back and we'll get to watch this segment AGAIN (yay :| ).

TWINKIE!! 3 of 3 pets accounted for!! BINGO!!! Amber admits that she doesn't make her bed - surprising ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.

JUMPCUT!! It's 'the next day' (whenever that is). Back in the bathroom, again in one of the blouses she's been constantly wearing lately.

Amber claims that she forgot to pay the setup fee for electricity, so her power went out today - and I totally do NOT believe this story. They wouldn't give you power - without any deposit - and then cut it off after only 5 days. Bitch must be DESPERATE for content.

Amber then claims that when she called the power company, they told her that SO MANY PEOPLE MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. Again, bullshit; if they did, the company wouldn't turn on the power, only to immediately shut it off again after 5 days without at least calling first to remind the tennants of the bill.

Her 20 minutes without power allowed her to 'process' her situation (type deal), and she realized that her anxiety has been so much better since she moved to Oklahoma (and is it just me, or do other people keep accidentally typing 'OKLAHOMO' and have to keep correcting it?).

(Oh yeah, and this is just cope for having to move here).

MORE HAIR TALK [SKIP]

JUMPCUT!! In the kitchen looking into her almost empty fridge, getting the ingredients together and cooking breakfast (bacon, aaaygs, and cheese). Either methmama doesn''t want to cart Ambo to the grocery store every single day, or Amber's letting it empty so she can justify food delivery soon.

Eating on camera while talking about how much she loves to be alone, so she doesn't have to do the things her partners want to do. HA! Keep huffing that Copium, Ambo.

JUMPCUT!! Amber wants to hang her pictures, but she's never done it before and doesn't know how. So strange. If only she had one of those magical glass and aluminum rectangles that all of non-luddite's carry everywhere with them. You know, the ones that can magically access that site full of videos on almost every topic in existance? Hmm, I wonder if Amber's heard of the site?

I hope that Amber does try to hang the pictures, because having her entire apartment walls loaded with dozens of tacky 'PITCHER' frames that don't go any higher than 4 feet up the wall would be HILARIOUS.

JUMPCUT!! In the kitchen. Amber ordered alcohol. Two small bulbous cans of drinkypoos, and a case of mango White Claw. Amber drinks on camera for humiliation clicks (but Amber says it's for funzies). Pathetic and phoney cry for help is pathetic and phoney. And to make a bad scene even WORSE, Amber declares that she won't livestream while drinking again!!! BOOOO!!! *HISS!*

Amber says she's getting drunk in her closet - and as she's mentally 13, that totally tracks.

JUMPCUT!! Drunken snacky time! A big tub of cottage cheese and more microwave bacon - with mustard!

Amber can't figure out how to set the clock on her stove by herself.

TL;DR: HUMILIATION/DESPERATION CONTENT. Bitch is completely out of content. She shows her mess on the bed again, makes up a story about her power getting cut off after only 5 days because she forgot to pay the setup fee, and shows her overcooking some scrambled AAYGS and microwave bacon. Eats on camera. Pretends to get drunk on camera. Eats on camera again. Amber can't figure out how to hang pictures or fix the time on her stove by herself. 3 of 3 pets accounted for!
 
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So Amber is not only too stupid to figure out the electricity (because clearly that’s never been a priority for anyone ever), but she’s too stupid to set the clock on her oven. Hey, you see that giant “Start/Set” button? I’m pretty sure if you hold that down…eh, whatever, fuck it.

In other news, Kate is still the only one who could make those Tik Tok’s remotely bearable.
 
Xenomorph said:
I love how we are watching in real time her regression happen.
She is regressing little by little but she is loving Mommy's attention. Y'know.. I would not be shocked if later on Amber make claims that her bf made a pass at her.
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I was thinking the same thing today. She’s going to say her moms bf assaulted her in the car cause he looked at her.

Anyways I’m already bored Amber,no one wants to see you put shit away in your apartment.
When are we the getting the”behind the scenes” stuff she couldn’t tell us cause it wasn’t safe yet?
 
So here is the problem with Amber's plan because clearly, her aim is to pay MethMom to be a live-in carer. I will die on that hill because Amber loves controlling people other than herself. The problem is she does not have the money to do it, I do wonder how much the dent on her pay cheque will affect her psyche because that will be great.

Amber's move came at the worst time because her channel before the move was experiencing its first major decline. The Jade breakup actually saved her financially but I do think it came from left field. Because she had so much downtime due to the move it meant her first decline in her channel's history. She will not take that well, Amber from witnesses is obsessed with money but incredibly lazy. I think this move is going to affect her in worse ways than she thinks.

1 - she is on her own and her diminishing relevance will impact her financially due to her own statements she is nearly out of savings. Jade was going to pay for the weight loss surgery. I do think she paid people off to not come forward and she absolutely certainly paid off Eric.
2 - Her family is not going to tolerate her for long and she is going to end up trying to buy their affections and it will not work out how she hoped.

Other than that though FUCK!!!!! that video was dull as fuck and she is throwing everything trying to make footage.
 
FarmVille said:
Meth mama is a bigger cow than Amberlynn has ever been. CPS had to remove her children from the hospital the day that they were born. That is some gold tier cowdom, true white trash delicacy and waaaaay more milk than being fat and bleeding on a mattress.
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Slightly disagree. Kristine is an irresponsible tweaker and consummate white trash, yes, but she's always been able to wipe her own ass, and more to the point, she doesn't feel the need to broadcast her personal drama on the internet for attention whoring purposes. Amber's addictions to compulsive eating and online attention have wrecked her life at least as much as meth use fucked Kristine's, she just happens to be a lesbian (and fatted herself out of fertility anyway) or I guarantee there would be a couple of children raised poorly enough to warrant state intervention (easier to control with emotional abuse, use as slaves, and get her attention/validation fix from than a rotating cast of partners). The only reason Amber seems more high functioning than her mother is because she lucked into a Youtube following just for being freakishly fat and stupid.

FarmVille said:
Weird way to say, “starts using meth again”
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DefCon Dumb said:
The head games that are going to be played between Amber and her mother are going to be epic. Amber figures she is OWED big time and her mother’s primary focus is still probably maintaining her sobriety, her boyfriend and work and everything normal.
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I think the deciding factor to whether Kristine reverts back to using meth or not is if she's dumb enough to let her fatberg spawn convince her to quit her job in return for becoming an indentured servant for a chunk of Youtube shekels. If she does, Kristine will be bored off her tits all day stuck in the apartment while Amber fats around, not allowed to leave (unless she's on a Hamber errand) because god forbid fatass wants something and there's no slave within yelling distance. If there is any environment that will act as fucking Miracle Gro for a drug habit, it's that. Look what happened to Becky ffs. Kristine (as of now) has at minimum stopped behaving like a meth addled retard and getting arrested for it, so I would like to believe her support system (Tammy, her doctor, a therapist, her NA meetings, whoever) is there to talk her out of setting herself up to fail by letting Amber walk all over her.

Boolean Bitch said:
Pathetic and phoney cry for help is pathetic and phoney.
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It very transparently was. I just don't think it was primarily meant for her audience. I'm quite sure it was directed at her mother. I'm pretty sure Kristine isn't sticking around all day to wait on Hamber hand and foot the way she's used to, and Amber's reaction to being told "no" is to make a big show of drinking and sulking in hopes her mom comes running with the "don't do that bbygirl, I'm sooo worried about you, you''re worth way too much to hurt yourself, your mentuls need coddling, I'll stay here to be an emotional punching bag, here's some undivided attention." Being over 30 and playing games like this is so fucking juvenile that it's embarrassing.
 
For entertainment value, a spunt meth mama would be great, milk wise.

IMHO I think Methamama is a reformed enough addict to ignore the distractions.

Amber needs yt so she will continue posting regardless of her situation.

Predication : LifebyJen arc. New feeder will be MALE and will come with a shady past.
 
Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
So here is the problem with Amber's plan because clearly, her aim is to pay MethMom to be a live-in carer. I will die on that hill because Amber loves controlling people other than herself. The problem is she does not have the money to do it, I do wonder how much the dent on her pay cheque will affect her psyche because that will be great.
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This is definitely her plan for the next couple of months. Amber's longer term plan is almost definitely to find another thumb butler, though. As soon as one comes along she'll hook Kristine and revert her back to being an extra in the Amberverse, there'll probably be some stupid social media drama, and they'll fall out until Amber breaks up with the next wipey
 
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