🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Possible tinfoil hat moment but one potential scenario that I didn't see mentioned as I skimmed through is that Amber faked her fall or atleast tried to use it to garner sympathy and try to claw Jade back into her orbit?

She made the video where she announced that the breakup had been mutual and that it suddenly wasn't anymore, like she had tried something. Then a few or so videos later she mentions this accident and there was a weird glint in her eye as she told the story.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
...a summary of the 2 year relationship with Jade.
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@Boolean Bitch -- (slow clap) -- An epic assessment. Enjoyed Every. Single. Word.

Reads like "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire," only this is a proper "The Rise and Rise and Rise (in weight) and Fail and Fail and Fail of NarcLynn Reid."

...in b4 some fucking YooToober steals @Boolean Bitch's post, word-for-word, without attribution, then uploads it as a monetized "original documentary."​
 
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BBJ_4_Ever said:
If her cancer were real, it was not of a type catastrophic enough to cause change because it didn't touch anything that affected her life. Some surgery on an internal organ she didn't think about and wasn't using and it was over. Surgery on her jaw, like Roger Ebert had*, would make her sit up and take notice.




*Yes, it would be because she could no longer eat at all and need a feeding tube.
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For normal people that would be horrific.

But for deathfats like Amber? She might just be excited she can skip whole chewing step of eating. It was only slowing her down anyway.
 
@Boolean Bitch, I stopped really paying much attention to Amber this past year and limited my forum use because I hate Tor, but I wanted to log in and tell you what a fucking rockstar you are for summarizing this whole Jade era. Your recaps are great in general but you really outdid yourself with this one. You helped fill in so many blanks for me and now have me searching for the whiskey video for the lulz. How you keep all her bullshit straight is beyond me but I'm so grateful you took the time to make that post!
 
Aiōn said:
Possible tinfoil hat moment but one potential scenario that I didn't see mentioned as I skimmed through is that Amber faked her fall or atleast tried to use it to garner sympathy and try to claw Jade back into her orbit?

She made the video where she announced that the breakup had been mutual and that it suddenly wasn't anymore, like she had tried something. Then a few or so videos later she mentions this accident and there was a weird glint in her eye as she told the story.
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Her falls are something I can never fully decide one way or the other if they're intentional or not.

On one hand, Amber is 500+lbs. Her balance is completely thrown off. She can't properly lift her feet when she walks. She can't bend her knee with the full range of motion that most people can. She has a very limited range of motion with her hips. She has to sway her hips and thrust out her leg and use the momentum to carry her through the step. Like, you know how you can pretend your index and middle fingers are legs and make them walk? Well, do that while you hold every joint in your fingers and hands stiff. You have to do this weird swaying motion to move your fingers. That's how she walks. She falls a LOT, and I'm surprised that she doesn't fall EVEN MORE.

On the other hand, the timings of her falls are VERY CONVENIENT. Like the dangleen ankle last summer when she wanted to sit and eat instead of exercise. Or slipping on a dryer sheet right before the breakup (when Jade is probably pushing her to be more independent and to do her own laundry). Or during fall of 2021 a month or so before Thanksgiving (when Jade was likely telling Amber she was going to travel back home without her). Remember that one? It was when she was wearing that stupid neck heating pad and looked like a morbidly obese vampire?

If I was forced to pick a side, I'd guess that she just falls a lot and keeps most of them a secret because it's embarassing. But she holds onto to and exaggerates the ones that happen at convenient times. I can't see Amber taking the risk of hurting herself while faking a fall. If she's not careful with that, she'll end up in a state run facility where they'll CONTROL HER FOOD INTAKE. She's not THAT stupid.

Ben Lurkin' said:
@Boolean Bitch -- (slow clap) -- An epic assessment. Enjoyed Every. Single. Word.

Reads like "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire," only this is "The Rise and Rise and Rise (in weight) and Fail and Fail and Fail of NarcLynn Reid."

...in b4 some fucking YooToober steals @Boolean Bitch's post, word-for-word, without attribution, as a monetized "original documentary."​
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Immitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Plus, THEY are the ones that get their face connected to sperging about a 500+lb narc. I'm a sperg who likes to sperg... but I'm okay with the real world not knowing that I'm a sperg who likes to sperg, KWIM? :)

hatehobbyist said:
@Boolean Bitch, I stopped really paying much attention to Amber this past year and limited my forum use because I hate Tor, but I wanted to log in and tell you what a fucking rockstar you are for summarizing this whole Jade era. Your recaps are great in general but you really outdid yourself with this one. You helped fill in so many blanks for me and now have me searching for the whiskey video for the lulz. How you keep all her bullshit straight is beyond me but I'm so grateful you took the time to make that post!
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Thanks. I don't know, it just sticks in my head. Like Rainman, but for random and/or useless bullshit. Unfortunatley, not TOO many uses for this brand of autism (other than things like data entry, or dunking on fat-fucks on the internet) :P

DON'T TRY TO SIT THROUGH AMBER'S VIDEO ON IT! It's shit, and she shrieks, and.. no. BUT, there is a YouTuber called 'Just my 2 cents'. She sometimes revists some of Amber's old videos if they are relevant to the current narrative. She recently went over the drunken livestream, condensing it to the most important 25 minutes or so (and added her commentary, of course). Her reacts are a little slow, aren't super funny, and lack funny edits. Still, she's an Ambaby from 2019 that turned hard-core haydur and she doesn't pull punches. Here's the link: https://yewtu.be/watch?v=oi-PnTJZfS0. I think she made the video a couple of weeks ago or so. It's easy to find.
 
@Boolean Bitch, this is probably the best recapitulation this I ever read on this website. The level of manipulation that Amber utilises is out of this world. It is clear that Amber does not want to do the work to lose weight but instead is only interested is feeding her hedonistic lifestyle. All these attempts at dieting are only performative for her audience, and possibly for her “girlfriend”.
 
I remember when FailureLynn was going on and on about "trying to save her life" and I was like, "What life? What here is so important? It's just food and baby toys. No one will miss you!" plus she's saying she'll do anything surgery related to save herself but is not willing to cut back on the food, not even a crumb, which is the one thing that would help. Idiot.

Boolean Bitch said:
YouTuber called 'Just my 2 cents'.
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Ah yes. That's Sabine Davis, the lady who led the charge to unsubscribe from Amber back in the good ol' Shrimpgate days.
 
having a breakdown, self sabotage, & memories of when I was a child (with photo)


 
Pepper Jack said:
Nik throwing some more shade at Amberlynn and I'm here for it.


Nickberlynn.mp4
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I paused that at 19 seconds when he's reading the book title and it caused me to make a very loud noise.

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Thoughts on Amber's latest-
A "G Wagon" is not a Jeep, it's a Mercedes G Class SUV cosplaying as a Jeep.
When Amber was telling the story of finding the poem she wrote in the trailer she used to live in, her eyes were darting all over the place. Make of it what you will.
If I was talking to a camera and started bawling, I'd edit that shit out... Unless maybe I was trying to manipulate and audience with that behavior.
There's no need for Amber to feel guilt for losing weight after the breakup instead of during the relationship as she will never lose it, therefore no guilt.
 
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This botch gets wet for two things :

1. Takeout
2. Victimizing herself about muh trauma.

"You looked at me with baby eyes"

LMAOOOOO FUCK RIGHT OFF

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It occurred to me while watching this latest video that she may be moving in with her brother. She said she wanted to be near people who unconditionally care for her and everyone assumed this was her mom, but since she mentioned her brother in this video I think that's a realistic possibility unless another uhaul caretaker intervenes. I think that would be a hilarious outcome and cause problems for her down the road. I'm locking in my prediction with this one.

A little bit of autism: Adoption research suggests that whatever the environmental effects that produce some of the differences between individuals, it's not captured by the home environment or parents. So while it may be common to think that this kid was saved from his shitty parents (and yeah it's good to not grow up with junkies) he will be about as similar to Amber as the typical brother and sister, despite how little time they were together. Some autistic reading summarising this research Finding 9 is what you're looking at.
 
The adoptive brother is thin and has teeth however he is covered in mumble rapper tats and isnt doing much with his life. He was, at one point, trying to gain attention with his own social media or some shit using AL as a springboard.
 
Xenomorph said:
The adoptive brother is thin and has teeth however he is covered in mumble rapper tats and isnt doing much with his life. He was, at one point, trying to gain attention with his own social media or some shit using AL as a springboard.
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Where does he live? This would be an interesting arc. He probably would not be as manipulated as her girlfriends, and would want to have his own YT channel to the great displeasure from Amber. He probably would not care about her diet and would leave her alone when he goes out with his mates. He might give her a ride somewhere but I guess he would not be on demand as with others. I guess that finding a new girlfriend has not been as easy as before. No wonder she wants Jade to come back.
 
Jeez. She has another brother and instead of using all the free time she has to find him, she instead sits around writing on pieces of paper her plans and stuffing her face all these years.

I don't believe this is the first time she brought up self sabotage and it's hard to believe this is the first realization of it.
 
I assume she started talking about her siblings to make it seem like she has family and not that she's all alone.

She used the word "sabotage." Now where have I read that word recently? Oh yeah, in a review of July 2022 -

Boolean Bitch said:
Amber gets down to 466lbs on Ozempic - her lowest since being in Kentucky. When Jade points out that it's only 16lbs away from 450lbs, Amber begins sabotaging her diet like crazy: several pints of keto ice cream, daily bags of pork rinds, and eating fried cheese as snacks instead of vegetables "because it's allowed".
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Xenomorph said:
He was, at one point, trying to gain attention with his own social media or some shit using AL as a springboard.
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Yes. She said he wanted to be a Youtuber.


She's gotten a taste of sweet sweet sympathy on her tongue and now she's not holding anything back for the famine times.

MUH:

foster care
adopted brother
HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYES
momma was addict trash
fat
pls tell her she has nothing to feel guilty about
I HURT MY FINGER YOU GUYS
 
Plot summary with commentary. Wow, now *THERE* is a thumbnail. Why couldn't she have posted THAT one before, so I could have used it for the "The breakup was MUTUAL" gif? Selfish, selfish Amber. Oh yeah, we have a summary to do - let's go!

"Hello hello. Welcome to a new vlog". Amber's in her new usual spot of the chaise component of her sofa. And nothing interesting in the mirror behind her. Moving on.

Amber has set a schedule for herself... of scrolling on TikTok before bed. It's the only schedule she's ever set for herself, so OF COURSE it has to be of a behaviour that's harmful (all of that light shining into your eyes messes with your sleep - regardless of how many OLLY melatonin gummies you pop). Add to that the double toxic affect of it BEING TIKTOK! My mind suddenly flashed to that Simpsons episode where Homer tries a subliminial sleep tape for weight loss.. but the warehouse ran out, so they sent him a thesaurus tape instead. Even THAT would be orders of magnitude more useful than fucking TIKTOK!

Amber talks about some TikTok story.:"JEEPS... not a car girlie... she likes the G Wagon...ducks on a windshield". What? OH! Then she looked out her window and there was a JEEP with 20 ducks on the windshield! OMG A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX!!! HOLY SHIT YOU SHOULD WASTE SEVERAL MORE HOURS OF YOUR LIFE INVESTIGATING THIS PHENOMENOM!! This is stupid. Also, it didn't happen.

Amber wants to go buy some little ducks and put them on jeeps. Yeah, you go do that, Amber. Make sure to film yourself.

JUMPCUT!! In the bathroom, because she slopped something on her shirt while eating. Apparently, we've sunken so low, that changing a shirt has now become an event and CONTENT. Mindless chatter during the process. She's had such a hard day, because she's back on her heartbreak bullshit of cryeeen. Super unmotivated - so then, a normal day?

MEDICAL EMERGENCY!! Amber jammed her finger in a door while taking Twinkie out to shit on her porch. More proof that Jade is gone: Amber's doing servant work. It's not bruised or anything, but it's THROBBING. Great, now we'll get to hear about this for the next several months as her 'dangleen finger' - or the precursor to another bout of cellulitis.

PO BOX TIME!! Contract for the box is for "the next couple of months". She got earrings from 'Bobby' (super ugly because they were made specially for her), and the book "Life Isn't Weighed on the Bathroom Scale".

FUCK!! The archive crapped out. You know, those ... *ahem*.. "PECULIAR" individuals who keep throwing rocks at our windows REALLY need a better hobby.

JUMPCUT!! By the kitchen island, and Amber's about to show us something super super special: it's a photo of foster care era Amber holding brother #3 right after he was born with a background that's supposed to be a hospital room.

"There's not a lot of things I remember from my childhood.. but I remember that molment"....

BITCH PLEASE! I was in the process of writing out all of the 'memories' that she's shared with us on her channel, but then realized that this entry was going to be even longer than my summary of the Jade era. Your entire channel - YOUR ENTIRE SENSE OF SELF - has been built upon your endless collection of 'traumatic childhood memories'. So much, in fact, that your entire WLS therapy was hijacked by it, instead of being used to work on your relationship with food!...

... Oh, okay, I'll share a couple: Amber had a pet baby chick AT THE SAME TIME as she had a pet snake. And the two of them were the best of friends - and the snake never ate the chick. Also, Amber loved the smell of Vicks VapoRub so much that she actually ATE SOME. Okay, back to the (shit)show.

Amber claims she was about 12 in this picture. Wow, "DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEEEEEE"? To be serious for a moment, this confuses her weight timeline, as she claimed she was 290lbs by the time she was 11 - and she does NOT look THAT big in this picture. Oh, gee, what a surprise; ANOTHER LIE.

3 years later, Amber wrote a poem about it, which she still has to this day.... yet she wasn't able to save a single SCRAP of evidence from her Blue Team Soccer days, or her chor-e-oh-griffing awards, or any of her other absurd claims. Zenomorph already posted the picture, and I am NOT typing out the poem. [SKIP]

Amber talks about how she misses brother #2, but is so excited what brother #3 found her family. What she leaves out is that brother #3 FOUND HER FIRST, AND SHE BLOCKED HIM! He only managed to reconnect with the family because he didn't give up and eventually found MethMama (who then contacted Amber about it). Remember? It was the day when Jenny Craig became a Jenny Bye-Bye.

Amber hopes that her other baby brother finds her someday - so she can also assume he's a haydur and block him, too!

JUMPCUT!! Back on the couch. Nothing interesting in the mirror. She's making a "store list"... you gonna try shopping without your personal uber? Oh, it's because she's trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life (I've never heard of a 'store list' in regards to self-improvement journaling, hmmm...) Anyway, that's easy: you want to spend your life making lists - it's the only thing you actually put effort into.

OKAY, in all fairness you also dedicate all of your energy into finding new and creative ways to break yourself, so that the person you've parasitically attached yourself to has to spend all of her time and energy into trying to fix you again in order to prove their worthiness to you. This would totally qualify as what you 'want to do with your life'.

"I need to find myself...." Did you check by the fridge? In your videos, we often find you there.

"All I have is myself, and if I didn't even have myself.... I don't know..."
FREEZE FRAMES!!
Ambo1.png

Ambo2.png

(Lay off the fucking gummies, Amber).

Is anyone else finding it hilarious that the solution to her problems is to stop navel gazing and be productive, and yet she tries to solve the problem by gazing DEEPER? Oh yeah, and you showed us how deep you truly are (during the belly-button fiasco of 2019). If you go any deeper to 'find yourself', you might get lost in there and rescue crews will never find you.

"It's really hard to notice weight loss on my body, and it's really hard to notice weight GAIN on my body". BITCH YOUR EARS ARE GONE! AT THIS POINT, RAY CHARLES COULD SEE YOUR WEIGHT GAIN!

Amber feels guilty about losing weight, because taking care of herself instead of gaining weight would make it look like she didn't care about Folgers. Bitch you went from 466lbs to 520lbs IN 5 MONTHS while dating her. You went from 368 to "572.4" (600) while in relationships with women whom you claimed to have loved with all of your heart. Everyone already KNOWS you didn't give a fuck about her (or any of the others), and that there's 9.5 years of video evidence of you using your weight to isolate and enslave your gorlfriends. At this point, it would actually involve LESS ENERGY for you to just put the fork down and FUCK RIGHT OFF.

"I feel guilty because why didn't I lose weight while I was with her?" Read by previous statement and FUCK OFF.

Amber laughs during her cry, because even she can't pretend this bullshit is real.

OMG there's still 4 minutes left...

Amber's now trying to convince herself she doesn't need to feel guilty about taking care of herself. We've seen this play out:
1] You'll find another gorl
2] You'll lose weight and bathe to PROVE that all you need from them is a little emotional support
3] You'll get your hooks in, then demand 24/7 soothing while you blimp out again.
This is a cyle you will run until you die - or until can't find another gorlfriend. Go take a shower, brush your hair, put on clean clothing, and get back to fatfishing and get this wheel turning again. LET'S GO!

... want to eat healthier... take out the junk... something something weight loss is easy... [SKIP]

"Word vomit" Hey! The first truthful statement she's made this entire video!

... broken.... lost.... grieving... [SKIP]

... something about her store list again ... and an upcoming grocery haul. SO IT WAS A SHOPPING LIST FOR GROCERIES AND NOT A JOURNALING EXERCISE FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT! ARRRRGGH SHE'S ANNOYING!! [SKIP]

"If I saw anyone going through that *I* was going through, my heart would go out to them". When Becky was trying to cope with her mother's death and was comforting herself with the idea of her mother in heaven, AMBER TOLD HER something like "God isn't real; your mother's just gone".

This isn't my single era... it's my heartbreak era... and I really wish people were more kind". Hmmm... I can't seem to find my sympathy bone...

Also, Amber can never experience heartbreak, as she loves no one but herself.

TL;DR: ABSOLUTE WORD VOMIT (admitted by Amber herself). Amber has a DANGLEEN FINGER from closing it in a door (not really, it's about as serious as all of her other 'dangleen' injuries - I just wanted to say 'dangleen finger'). Amber shows a picture from when she held brother #3 in the hospital after he was born and shares a poem from her teen years that she wrote about him. Amber pretends to feel guilty at the idea of losing weight after a breakup, because it will show that she didn't care enough about her gorlfriends to do it during the relationship. Lots of self pity while shaming her audience for not feeling sorry enough for Amber's self-inflicted misery. If you could possibly experience the level of SUFFERING that she's being forced to endure right now, her heart would go out to you!
 
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