🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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We’re only ever going to her what Amber wants us to hear. That part about “you’re such a good person, Amber” was the most fake, cringe shit I’ve heard in a while. Jade is well aware she’s dealing with a narcissist and wants out.

I’m going to go with an unpopular opinion here and say that there could be a tiny grain of truth in the ‘mutual break up’ story. I’m sure Jade pulled the trigger, but I think that Amber could have come straight back at her with “yeah, well I NEED a partner who will appear on camera”. If she had a quick comeback like this….she can then say half-truthfully “it was mutual”, even if she would never have instigated it.

Because she does need a side character. I think it’s been a fly in the ointment of their relationship for as long as it’s existed. Amber’s been wanting a big “Faline Reveal”. It would have given her a bump in views.

A big hello to all here. I’ve missed you. I haven’t been watching the Gorls becuase Amber’s just dull and Chantal has decided that the things her brilliant content have been missing is a flea-ridden street cat and shisha fart interruptions every few seconds. It’s intolerable without the KF comedy. I appreciate you.
 
Amber's chin and neck fat are filling in at record speed, I noticed it most during her Lego Show and Tell segment.
Shortly after that she had her chest fat out, so watch out gorls, DesperateLynn is on the prowl.
 
@StyrofoamFridge I mostly went for the easy joke, but after years of watching Amber, I've noticed there are 2 convictions she cannot uphold. A constant weightloss plan and being single. She'll boldly and loudly proclaim her plan to diet\stay single, and this time it's for real and for good, and then next thing you know...
So I doubt she'll stay single for much longer.
But that's just my 2 cents.
 
Ayygs and Layygs said:
Consumerlynn doesn't care and people thinking she will are stupid. She just wants to buy things. It's why she bought 3 packs of pens instead of 1. She has more clothes and purses than a thrift store when she sits in her apartment 99% of the time. Can't get a dopamine hit if she isn't consuming.
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I’ve known quite a few women who aren’t really capable of leaving the house, and they were the same way. One example would be a schizophrenic woman that used to live in my neighborhood. She didn’t have any family so we would go check on her from time to time to make sure she was taking her meds etc. She had tons of purses, three closets, full of clothes, shoes, to match every single outfit, always painted her fingernails and toenails, and even had a bunch of makeup in her bathroom that had never been used.

The caveat was that she was also morbidly obese so most of the clothes would’ve never fit her even if she lost 100 pounds. She never brushed her hair, it was full of mats and knots. Her teeth were rotting out, her eyes were black from never sleeping, her fingernails and toenails were green, she didn’t bathe and generally didn’t take care of herself. She was afraid of leaving her house so she wouldn’t go to the dentist or the doctor or the hair salon. She eventually died because she had cancer and wouldn’t go find out what was wrong after she had been coughing up blood for like a year.

My point is, it doesn’t that sound a lot like someone we know? Living in a delusion where you’re a normal and functioning person by purchasing things that make the fantasy feel real? Normal people shop. Normal people have hobbies and run errands… It makes them feel like they’re doing something. It’s their version of getting things done. There are only a select few places that they’re comfortable going to so they use those places and the things they buy while they’re there to fill the void. Hoarders do the same thing. And I’m not talking about amberlynn hoarders, I’m talking about the ones you see on TV. They don’t take care of themselves and the only place they go is the thrift store or wherever it is that they accumulate their junk.

Amber was raised in a white trash family, where the biggest event of the month was probably going to Walmart to load up on a bunch of crap. Her parents didn’t take her out to any kind of meaningful family get togethers. They probably didn’t go on vacations or hiking or anything productive. Going to Walmart and then swinging by McDonald’s on the way home was probably the most exciting thing that happened to her before she was an adult. Once white trash is instilled into somebody, it’s hard to get it out. She was taught this behavior at a really young age and her YouTube channel has made it to where she doesn’t have to learn anything else beyond that.

I’m convinced that her channel tanking is the only real shot she has at making any improvements to her life. But it’s kind of a double edged sword because it’s also going to drastically increase her chances of dying because she doesn’t know how to take care of herself, let alone on a limited income. I just don’t see her choosing to make any meaningful changes as long as she can get away with doing the bare minimum and receive a check for it every month. I know she would be doing the same thing if she was on disability, but $800 a month is not a lot of money. Especially when you’ve been raking in thousands by showing off your Legos and grocery hauls. Even if losing her income didn’t teach her any kind of life lessons, at least it would be a blow to her ego. But she’s managed to go this long, so I guess we’ll have to wait another 10 years to see what happens. People are still retarded and clicking on her videos to this day so you never know.
 
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I am gonna go to my grave saying this but Amber's channel is not as in bad shape as people make it out to be.

Is it at his heyday? Of course not.

But she has generated over 140 millions views for her channel alone

That wife abuser Steven Crowder has 170 million and five more years of yt.

Plus a god damn production team!

Amber's cost of making of video is close to nothing at this point.

It's all one take, stream of consciences nonsense that takes zero effort.

What Amber has got going for her is how much engagement she brings to yt.

Go to social blade look up Amberlynn and you will fine 15 accounts that come up with that tag. Some big names, some no names. None of the non-main gorlworld reactors (Amby Sharp, Tom Harlow, Obese to Beast, etc.) who have used Amber for views are on that list.

Those alone add up to another 150 MILLION views

Amber is the rabbit hole that yt recognizes and thus probably pay her about $6-7 dollars per 1000 views, maybe even more.
 
About a year ago, there was a scene of her in her kitchen being a snotty and smug asshole to her viewers (I know, shocking, right?!). They were concerned about her continuing to microwave styrofoam noodle cups because of the chemicals leeching into the food (and to use a kettle instead). Amber dismissed it with "I've been doing it this way all my life, so there is no reason to stop doing it now". Amber was unwilling to even TRY something as easy as pushing a button on an electric kettle instead of using the microwave.

This is her mindset EXACTLY. Amber knows best. And when she doesn't, it's not her fault because 1) No one taught her, or 2) something something trauma. And then she'll refuse to accept the new teachings because she's gone this long without doing it 'someone else's' way. Her channel tanking would make no difference, because she refuses to change her life in even the most insignificant ways (I don't think it's tanking, I'm just saying that even IF it did, it wouldn't matter). You don't need big money to change clothes before you go to bed, or to wash your face with a cheap bar of Dial soap, or to set a sleep schedule for yourself, or to put your trash IN THE TRASH instead of piling it up on the counter/floor. If she couldn't afford Cheesecake Factory any longer, she'd order off the value menu from McDonalds. If she couldn't afford that, she'd have DollarTree crap shipped to her by the case or she'd get by on Walmart's 'Great Value' processed crap. She'd find a way to maintain her svelte 'hourglass' figure and lifestyle, regardless of her income level.

If she can't lure another girlfriend, this will be her new 'single, boss-babe' arc: Twinkie will shit in the spare room like she did when Destiny dumped Amber and left her alone in that townhouse. The cat sand boxes and pet water dishes will go uncleaned (and be replaced with new ones every month). The cats will once again get a giant mixing bowl filled with a month's worth of stale pellets at a time for their meals. With no one around to do wash and make the bed for Amber, the bare mattress with filthy blankets and pillows will return. Her couch will be stained from her unwillingness to wear pants anymore. And she'll call 911 for every headache and hangnail. She'll become *that* patient which every medic DREADS when the address gets announced over the radio (and every er nurse suddenly goes on break for when the patient is wheeled to their desk). Whether you feel bad for her and blame her parents and her mental illness, or feel that she's getting exactly what she deserves for being a piece of shit to others, it really doesn't matter. It WILL happen this way (again). She's completely unwilling to change (she wouldn't be a cow if she could).
 
Xenomorph said:
Would you ever think this person is 32 years old?
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Nah. 43. Smokes Virginia slims. Yells at everyone at the family bbq (pets included, she brought) while testing the limits of an algae tinted white plastic lawn chair. Eats 4 plates of food while bringing nothing and leaving a mess for the other dogs to gorge on when she waddles to destroy your bathroom.

Smells like that musky cheap perfume as her snail trail marker.
 
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weigh in, weight loss visual representation, still ordering takeout, & a grieving heart | vlog​



 
I’ve been lurking for a while because Orange Queen or somebody like that included this url in a community post on YT, but damned if I could remember my goddamned password.

It’s Becky’s fault. Obviously.

Thanks and a tip of the hat to Amber Lynn Reid, who taught me the importance of JOURNALEEEN my deep thoughts with (colored) pen on (cute) paper with my (totally unique) joined-up handwriting.

TL:DR: Are you a clueless Boomer? You too, can learn the important art of writing shit down JOURNALEEEN! !!!1!
 
Can we get the return of the womb cancer and get some real tears and hysterical crying? That's the only time I've seen her really cry besides being dumped by Dusty.
 
I watched the archive with no sound on so I could just watch the body language.

Did that black and white shirt come with tits in it already? We know Amber doesn't have those.

She's just killing time, verbally fidgeting. I can't hear her but I know she's just gibbering.

I think she clipped together some stuff out of order. When she's making food and cuts to having red eyes? She put that part in later.

Notice that she sat down at the table, turned her camera on, then made herself cry?
Normal people would turn a camera OFF at that time, but not BackwardsLynn. Probably made herself think about that time she ordered cookie dough thinking it was cookie dough ice cream. You know she still isn't over that trauma.

Why did she get mad at someone who sent her food but has no problem with people sending her soap and perfume-y things, which is the more obvious joke? Ya stink, Amber!
 
Plot Summary with commentary. "weigh in, weight loss visual representation, still ordering takeout, & a grieving heart | vlog" Hmm... lies, no one cares, no one cares, and more lies. Awesome. Let's get this over with.

"Ugh, still ordering takeout... I don't know what it is". I do, and so does everyone else. Amber also makes sure to get a drink with caffeine to further fuck herself up. Amber says she was procrastinating starting this vlog, but doesn't know why.

Boxes everywhere in the living room (despite not moving for "3-6 months"? - What a dingus). It's going to be a slow process of packing, selling, "goodwilling", and getting rid of stuff. Amber recently got a "storage" (unit - in the apartment complex) to hold her Christmas and Halloween stuff (ignore all of the previous times that she's talked about her storage). I bet that storage unit is STUFFED TO THE CEILING. Yep, Amber confirms that it's full of JUNK (tacky decorations, broken electronics, etc). It's ALL coming back into the apartment so "Amber" can go through it (we all know she'll make Jade do it).

Amber claims that everything hasn't hit her yet. I just made you a new sparkly gif. Wanna see it?

JUMPCUT!! Camera is on the shelf, making it look like Ambo is behind bars. Based on your family history (and your sketchy behaviour), I wouldn't be joking about that...

More weigh in bullshit. 524.6lbs on July 10 - which means NOTHING as she has complained about her 'wonky scale' before (and because she's been fucking with the timeline this entire storyline). Amber wants to lose 56lbs (which ties into her IG question to her audience, asking them to ask her 56 questions, or give her 56 reasons to lose weight or something like that). Fuck off, Ambo.

The artistic Amber created her 'visual representation of weight loss' by dumping rainbow coloured tongue depressors into a glass. Something about numbers on the sticks, and answering questions. I don't care, and we'll never see this again. [SKIP]

More Drew Barrymore Beautiful airfryer talk. Blair Witch style footage as she hurples around and makes processed crap in the airfryer for her and Jade. The reason she bought so much processed food is because she's grieving. Amber can't understand why people thought she'd stop filming to grieve. I'm confused, too. Her fans have been waiting for this ever since the cats were changing the smoke alarm batteries and the toilet was flushing itself - why would they suggest she takes a break *now*? Amber babbles out excuses for her gluttonous behaviour. [SKIP]

FREEZE FRAME!
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What am I seeing on her tricep hump? Is that discolouration, or just bad lighting?

More shitting on her audience and exusing bad behaviour. So many non-existent people have reached out to her. Ironic that the person incapable of experiencing full human emotions is the one trying to lecture us on them. [SKIP]

FREEZE FRAME!
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This is going to hit her "... like a hurricane.... like a cyclone... like a damn E5 tornado".

Like a monster truck in the nightlife?

JUMPCUT!! Amber burnt the gyoza, because she's fucking retarded. This airfryer works so good!!

--=-- CRYING INTERMISSION --=--

JUMPCUT!! In the exact same spot. Her eyes are a little wet, but otherwise she looks the same. She kinda looks like you do right after a really bad sneeze - of course minus the poop bun, tacky earrings, grease, and at least 400lbs. Actually, just forget I said any of that. Amber eats the burnt gyoza because she's fucking retarded.

Amber waddles over the fridge and starts opening jars to do taste-tests of seemingly random things. Okra, pickled corn, garlic and pepper stuffed olives, etc. This is fucking GROSS - she's just standing in front of her fridge and ripping into this shit like a savage. [SKIP]

JUMPCUT!! Back to the Closet Cleanout. This has a whole new meaning now *dramatic pause and sigh for emphasis*! She feels like she's going to have a breakdown. OMG, Jade, go over there and fucking SLAP THIS BITCH! Amber's not selling her clothes. She is going to sell her standing desk (as she doesn't need to pretend to want to get healthy anymore). She only bought it to copy Jade's standing desk and play office when Jade had to work. Since no Jade, there will be no office in her new place.

....

Just a thought here... sounds like the 'office' was created JUST for Jade. But Amber decided to nuke Becky's man cave and turn it into an office BEFORE the breakup (or at least before she admitted to getting her first message from Jade 10 days after the breakup - unless I'm misremembering). Just something odd is all.

also,

FREEZE FRAME!!
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She's not selling things for money to move, you stupid peasants! She's just selling them! Selling is a better idea than donating to those in need. GoodWill is just for stuff that's worthless (as it's cheaper than renting a dumpster). Amber gets bored from the adulting of cleaning up her shit and waddles out of the closet.

JUMPCUT!! Amber's sorry this vlog has been a flop. That excuses *this* one, but what about the other 2000 bullshit vlogs you've posted?

She's just really down today. She's just hates this (totally healthy, mature, and MUTUAL breakup) so much!! More cryeen. She's sitting in the office where they used to slowdance! Memories like that hurt because she's never going to have them again. Yeah, you said that about Becky 2 days before you started talking to Jade. And you said that about Destiny a couple of months before bullying Becky into 'dating' you.

It's nighttime, so Amber's going to lay down and try to get some sleep. WOAH!! She's not sleeping in the day and staying up all night like usual? Her sleep schedule has magically fixed itself to a regular schedule?! This MUST be serious... or she's doing this so that Jade has to suffer by sleeping on the couch instead of in the bed.... if Jade's even there. I've got to admit: it's pretty quiet and the vibe is just like it was when Jade left for Thanksgiving and Ambo was alone.

More sad-sack Amber. She HAS friends that would come over if she asked, it's just that she HATES bothering people. You made Jade cut up your onion so *you* wouldn't get smelly fingers - bothering people doesn't even hit your radar. Also, too late, Ambo: in your breakup video, you admitted you have no friends. No taksies-backsies!! [SKIP]

Amber feels she can open up her deepest darkest secrets to Fleen - yeah, maybe that's what led to her bugging out.

"HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS?" The same way you got through all of the others. AMBER ADMITS TO ONLY FEELING LIKE FRIENDS WITH ALL OF HER OTHER GORLFRIENDS!... surprising no one. She says 'before' the breakup they always felt like friends, but the internet remembers that EVERY ONE of her breakups Amber was BLINDSIDED, meaning she was never actually in love with any of them. It was a caretaking situation type deal.

This one was different: "... it wasn't OVER before it was over". This isn't sounding mutual...

Another therapy session booked. Oh good, because so far it's worked WONDERS for you.

Time for a PO Box opening. FUCK NO!! You stupid souless bitch! 'My heart is SO broken, this relationship was so different than all the others, it wasn't over before it was over - hey, let's see what those plebs who worship me sent!" CUNT!!

JUMPCUT!! All chipper again: earrings, a tarot journal (Amber's surprised, as she's likely already forgotten about her tarot storyline), soap bars from someone named 'Becky' (LOLOL!! Amber didn't get the joke).

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Don't eat them, Ambo. Also, you aren't supposed to balance the soap bars on your greasy face; you're supposed to WASH with them. Come back, Jade, and teach Amber how soap is used.

Time to go. Byee!

TL;DR: Amber goes on about how she's still ordering takeout. She bought junk at the grocery store because she's 'grieving'. Amber lectures us on what human emotions feel like. Amber cooks gyoza in the air fryer for her and Jade, then eats alone. Stands in front of her fridge doing random 'taste tests'. Tries to do stuff, then haz a sadz and stops. Tries to take back what she said in the breakup video and lies that she has friends who will come see her if she asks, but she doesn't want to 'bother' them. Amber accidentally admits that she was only friends with all of her other girlfriends and didn't love them. Amber says more stuff that doesn't sound very mutual breakupy. Someone mailed Amber soap. July 10: 524.6lbs.

New theory: Jade is GONE. Amber is all mopey, and this video feels like when Jade left Amber alone for Thanksgiving. I think she has a bunch of clips with Jade, and she's sprinkling them through her vlogs to make it seem like she's still there. Or maybe she lives elsewhere, but comes in to check on Ambo to make sure she hasn't accidentally jammed a fork in the toaster trying to get the bread out, or gotten one of her chins stuck in a drawer or something.

[Edited to swap out 4th pic for something better]
 
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